101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks
In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will get the honor of being killed by Emperor Palpatine himself…or as he was at the time Chancellor Palpatine…
It's a good thing there's an organization for killing Jar Jar Binks, isn't there?
Chapter 50: Force Lightning
Following the events of the previous chapter, Jar Jar Binks was taken away towards the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization along with all of his friends, who at the time were being brainwashed using an evil psychiatrist.
Naturally, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization decided to kill Jar Jar in a very gruesome way, through being executed by Force Lightning.
But there was a problem…none of the members were force-sensitive, let alone part of the dark side of the force. How were they going to kill him using Force Lightning?
They considered simply electrocuting him using the electric chair, but they remembered they had already tried that, thanks to the records they took every time Jar Jar Binks met a gruesome end.
Their problem was a perplexing one, indeed.
Suddenly, one of them got an idea.
"Maybe we could send him to Chancellor Palpatine." suggested one of the group members.
And so the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization stuffed Jar Jar Binks inside a crate, causing him to wake up from his sleep.
"Why is mesa in package?" wondered Jar Jar Binks. Clearly he had gone to bed at his household instead of at the post office.
Immediately, it was mailed straight towards the Chancellor himself, who was still angry at him for the prank he pulled when he hijacked the computers.
"It's a shame you can only kill someone once." thought the evil Chancellor.
Suddenly, one of the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization members came in.
"Package delivery!" stated the Jar Jar Binks hater.
"I didn't remember ordering anything." thought Chancellor Palpatine. Nonetheless, he decided to open it anyway, and was disgusted at what was inside.
"Wow! It's the chancellor! Mesa so glad to see yousa in the flesh!" squealed Jar Jar Binks in delight.
The more Jar Jar spoke to him, the more annoyed Chancellor Palpatine got. And suffice to say he had a very short breaking point.
"That does it!" screeched the chancellor, who proceeded to electrocute Jar Jar Binks with his deadly force powers.
"Ouchies! Why yousa giving mesa shock therapy? Mesa not need shock therapy!" claimed the Gungan.
Chancellor Palpatine continued, making the force lightning increasing painful as he went along to inflict maximum suffering.
"Stop it! Yousa giving mesa horrible pain! Cut it out already!" complained Jar Jar Binks.
Eventually, the chancellor had enough of tormenting the Gungan, and decided to finish him off once and for all.
"And now young Gungan, you die…" laughed the madman as he delivered the finishing blow.
As Palpatine electrocuted him one last time, Jar Jar Binks suddenly remembered there was a sense of irony to this. After all, he was the one who suggested that Palpatine should have vast emergency powers…which suffice to say the chancellor used at a whim.
"Why mesa have to die dis way?" thought Jar Jar as he was electrocuted to death.
Afterwards, the Storm Troopers disposed of his body and tossed it into an intergalactic dumpster, where it was found by the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization.
"There he is! Resurrect him!" ordered the group's leader.
Immediately, Jar Jar Binks's injuries from the deadly lightning disappeared and he was walking upright once again.
"Why mesa feel like mesa was struck by lightning? And why was mesa in a dumpster?" thought the alien.
"You passed out, so we decided to wake you up by giving you a jolt of electricity." stated the leader of the group, which interestingly was a half-truth.
"Oh! Well thanks for helping me!" Jar Jar Binks happily cheered as he went back home.
Well, it looks like we're already halfway finished with this fanfic, aren't we? We certainly have come a long way in such a short period of time…
In the next chapter, Jar Jar Binks will meet his end through a method I came up with after watching a movie that came out fairly recently…
Can you guess what it is? Come on, I'd like to see some guesses…