Chapter 21: Aces High
It was almost high noon and Artie was sitting on the living room futon flipping through channels, killing some time as he waited for Zeke.
He had just finished his morning ritual of getting cleaned up and was now wearing some new clothes he recently purchased from the Modo over in Horgate, consisting of a light green, brown and white striped polo shirt and some navy blue cargo shorts.
Nothing aside from soap operas were on for this time of day and he was mentally calling out for Zeke to show up when he suddenly happened across the RCNN-13 late morning news, featuring the aftermath of last night's carnage.
The current image displayed Cora Ricardo live at the harbor, standing before the charred remnants of several rival gang cars while emergency personnel shuttled body bags back and forth.
"It was late last night down here at Lincoln Harbor when yet another bloody gang battle occurred.
"At this point it is unknown exactly as to what caused the skirmish, but judging by the bodies found it is known that the participants included members of the Redcoats, Hellcats and Uptown Yardie street gangs, as well as member of the Luciferian Brotherhood Motorcycle Club. Bodies are still being uncovered with every passing minute and thus far the death toll is confirmed to be at forty-six.
"Only four arrests have been made directly related to the incident, all members of the Redcoats and all of them refusing to talk.
"According to further eyewitness reports, a convoy consisting of some weird military-looking vehicle and four trucks from the Well Hung meat packing plant were seen fleeing from the scene of the battle. Police and N.O.O.S.E. operatives attempted to subdue the vehicles, but yet another violent struggle followed and twenty-one officers were left dead or wounded.
"When contacted, both representatives from the U.S. Military and Well Hung Co. denied any involvement in the ordeal.
"Reporting live from Lincoln Harbor, this is Cora Ricardo. Back to you Tom and Adele."
The scene then switched over to the RCNN-13 newsroom where the two anchors were seated behind their desks and the female reporter, identified as 'Adele Markowitz' began speaking:
"In other news, the Rushmore Ripper has struck again, now officially 'Rushmore' after having left a body outside of the industrial shithole of Lincoln Island. This time around, a woman's limbless torso was found on the steps of the Rushmore City Courthouse in Washington Common. Is this the work of a serial killer continuing a brutal reign of terror? Or is it some sick liberal prank gone way too far-"
Artie's phone began ringing and he switched the TV off upon seeing that it was Zeke calling.
"About time your lazy ass showed up!" he spoke.
"Heh, whatever pal. Why don't you stop flapping your gums and get your lazy ass out here?" Zeke spoke from the other end, the roar of a muscle car's engine soon calling out to him.
"Alright, I'm coming," he said switching his phone off.
Making his way out the back door, Artie looked down to see a solid blue Sabre GT with a cracked skull decal on the driver's side door waiting for him. The engine roared again and Zeke stuck his hand out the window waving towards him.
"Looks pretty badass," he thought to himself making his way down the flight of rusty stairs and over to the newly-customized muscle car.
Inside Zeke had placed matching new covers over the seats, both containing some sweet looking dragon designs. In addition, he also had a pair of fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror and on the dashboard was a little skeleton figurine dressed like a hula girl.
"Like what I did with the ride that you were so kind to 'obtain' for yours truly?" the bartender asked with a sly smile, turning up his radio, currently playing "Can't Be Saved" by Senses Fail on Radio GX.
"Totally rockin' dude, I knew you had some rather 'unique' taste," Artie replied strapping on his seatbelt.
"Well then you're going to love the new engine I had put in," Zeke said gripping the 8 ball tip of his gear shift.
"You had money to put in a new engine?" Artie asked, just as Zeke floored the engine and nearly sent his head flying into the dashboard.
"Yee haw!" Zeke hollered like a cowboy riding a bucking bronco as he flew onto Hymen Avenue, jerking the wheel abruptly to the left and nearly flattening a pedestrian as the rear end fishtailed. Hammering on the gas, the rear tires squealed as he peeled down the street, nearly clipping a royal blue Buffalo.
"Dude, you're gonna get a tick-aaaahhhh!" Artie tried to call out, but was cut off as the car made a dynamic right turn that lifted the heavy car onto two wheels.
"Hell yeah, Vinewood ain't got nothing on this shit!" Zeke cried out as "American Idiot" by Green Day came over the airwaves.
"You'll never make it there if you fucking get us killed!" Artie shouted back as Zeke sped past a Flatbed semi-truck in the opposite lane, barely swerving back into the right lane as a Post Op-owned Benson came from the opposite end.
It was a chaotic, heart-pounding ride the entire way to Blue Hook and it was with some amazing ability the bartender spun into the restaurant's car park without hitting any other vehicles, only slowing down as he pulled into a parking space.
"What the fuck was that?" Artie scolded as his friend shifted the car into park.
"Dude, you mean to tell me you fucking shot up half the harbor last night and yet you were scared of one high energy ride? Since when did you pussy out so fast?" Zeke asked as he switched the ignition off and climbed out.
Artie didn't reply and briefly found himself distracted by the sign with the ridiculously large-chested woman, until he found a door slammed into his face.
"Guess you haven't gone gay after all," Zeke chuckled as the hired gun rubbed his sore nose.
"Shut up, when you got tits that large calling out to you, how can you not be distracted?" Artie retorted as they made their way inside.
The restaurant itself was actually more along the lines of a sports bar and grill that looked like a log cabin with its wooden interior and numerous animal heads hanging on the walls. All of the tables were shaped like some kind of athletic ball and there were numerous HD TV sets along the walls broadcasting more than one kind of athletic event.
"Hi there, welcome to Gazangas!" a large-breasted redhead called out in a high-pitched girlish tone, her nametag identifying her as 'Kelsey.' Like every other waitress in the room, she wore a skimpy white tanktop that left her boobs just inches away from popping out, and equally skimpy red shorts that barely covered her round ass. "Follow me please!"
"Donnie's wet dream come true," Artie thought to himself as they were led to a table shaped like a basketball and given some menus.
"And is there anything I can get you nice boys today?" Kelsey asked in the most flirtatious tone she could muster.
"The Clogged Bowl for both of us please, and I'll take an Orange Sprunk with it," Zeke said.
"I'll have a Secsi please," Artie replied.
"Coming right up!" the bouncy waitress said before disappearing from sight.
"The Clogged Bowl, isn't that too big for just the two of us?" Artie asked as he stared towards a raven-haired waitress bending over to pick up a pen she dropped.
Zeke laughed nervously, "Umm, I didn't tell you this, but one of my buddies called just before I picked you up and I told him he could join us if he wanted to."
"Really, and just who does this friend happen to be?" Artie asked cocking an eyebrow.
"His name's Kato, we used to play in a band together back in high school. We probably could've gone somewhere if our dumbass drummer wouldn't have sold our equipment for SPANK. We didn't have the money to buy any new equipment, so we just said 'fuck it' and went on with our lives. We still keep in touch though," Zeke explained as he stared at a waitress of Pacific Islander descent as she walked across the restaurant. It was only when she disappeared through the kitchen doors that he finally returned his gaze to Artie.
The front doors opened and a young man around Zeke's age came in, wearing a black muscle t-shirt, blue cargo pants, black combat boots and lastly, the same blue vest worn by those Aces members he had seen walking around. His short black hair was styled into a "faux-hawk" with the tips dyed blue and several piercings in each ear.
"Kato!" Zeke called out waving him towards the table.
"Zeke, dude what's up?" Kato called back walking over and high-fiving his friend.
"What the hell man? I didn't know you were one of the Aces?" the bartender said closely inspecting the vest worn by his friend.
"Joined the other day," the new recruit smiled, proudly flashing his vest for the entire world to see.
Artie stared at him closely, unable to decide whether this kid was just very brave or very stupid, knowing how gangs anywhere in general would react to the sight of a rival's colors, especially when on their turf.
He still remembered visiting Los Santos years back when he had been hanging out at a juice bar in the Glen Park district controlled by the Balling Cribs. While hanging out there, some members of the Cribs' enemies known as the Grove Street Families entered and a firefight soon followed, resulting in thirteen deaths and Artie barely escaping with his life after taking a round to the side.
"Those Redcoat gimps were giving me trouble, so I decided I needed the backup and the rest is history," Kato proclaimed, earning a grunt from Artie.
"Oh Kato, where are my manners? This is my friend Artie Cappelli, Artie this is Kato," Zeke said motioning to the hired gun, who offered an unenthusiastic handshake to the Ace.
"Nice to meet cha'," Kato spoke before taking a seat at the table with them and calling out to one of the waitresses, "Get me a Dud Lite please!"
"This kid looks like he's barely out of high school," Artie thought to himself as Kelsey returned with a tray carrying their drinks and the Clogged Bowl, which literally had to be the largest bowl full of barbecued chicken wings he had ever seen, instantly causing him to drool.
"You nice boys enjoy yourselves now," the waitress spoke with a girlish giggle before focusing her attention on other customers.
"So what brings you here to the glorious Rushmore City?" Kato asked as he reached for the biggest wing he could get his hands on, "The tourism? The money? The babes?"
"Well, I was here for a visit when some dipshit decided to carry out a terrorist attack, which caused the feds to get a huge fucking hair up their asses and shut us off from the rest of the world, so I'm stuck here for a while now," Artie groaned.
"This is one of those places you can never escape," Kato replied, "at least not without a toe tag," he said before taking another large bite.
"Gee thanks, I needed to hear that," the hired gun sarcastically replied.
"At least you've met some interesting characters during your stay here," Zeke chipped in, his words muffled by the food in his mouth.
"Totally," Artie spoke, his tone once again dripping with sarcasm, "If you can consider a bipolar drug-dealing granny, a metrosexual Englishman wanting to create all sorts of violence for the sake of 'dramatic flair on television,' and a 'snake in the grass' loan shark looking to hang my cousin at every turn as 'interesting,' then I guess I'm drowning in the sea of awesomeness."
"Dude, quit being such a downer, you're starting to sound too much like Randy now," Zeke said before motioning to their current environment, "You'd think all the available poo nanny and wings here would be enough to distract you for once. Christ, I'd bet he'd still be down in the dumps even if all the women were walking around here naked," he said to Kato, who snickered in reply.
"You do know I am sitting right across from you and can hear everything you're saying perfectly fine, right?" Artie spat, furrowing his brow at both men.
"Chill out man," Zeke grunted before reaching over to pat him on the shoulder, "I know you're pissed about being stuck here, but can you shut up about it for once and at least try having some fun?"
"Sure whatever," Artie halfheartedly replied, chomping down on another wing.
The front doors again came flying open and four men walked in.
"Damn am I hungry!" one of the men loudly announced to the entire room.
It was when Artie noticed their bright red coats that his eyes widened and Kato reached for a firearm.
"Motherfucker die!" a Redcoat called out taking notice of their rival gang member as he and his cohorts reached for their concealed guns.
Kato quickly kicked over the table they were sitting at and withdrew an IMI Micro Uzi, while the Redcoats had Uzis of their own and gunfire was exchanged between both parties, forcing civilians who hadn't yet been hit in the crossfire to seek shelter behind their tables and whatever else they could find for cover.
Fortunately Artie had packed his CZ 75 automatic and took cover behind a counter. Zeke wasn't too far behind and had brought a Russian-made Makarov PM along.
"Gonna die Ace motherfuckers! You're all going down! Every single one of you bitches!" one of the Redcoats called out.
"Keep talking red bitch!" Kato shouted back, firing wildly until his entire clip emptied and he was forced to reload.
Hundreds of bullets were slung back and forth with neither side giving up and frightened workers and patrons alike lying face down on the floor with their hands thrown over their heads. Three customers were killed right away during the skirmish and a fourth lay seriously wounded not too far away.
"C'mon out you pussies! We haven't got all goddamned day!" one of the red-clad attackers shouted, laughing wildly as he fired at the counter Artie and Zeke hid behind.
Artie peeked around a corner, only to jump away as a cluster of rounds was fired in his direction while the gunner laughed hysterically.
Zeke meanwhile noticed his friend's predicament and bounced up, firing a lone round that caught the shooter in his shoulder, forcing him to drop his weapon.
With his attacker subdued, Artie finished the man off with a salvo of screaming metal to the chest.
"Ponz," one of the Redcoats called out, looking down upon his fallen friend and returning fire, "You're gonna pay motherfucker!"
Seeing Kato stick his arm out from behind his table, the Redcoat dove for cover behind the hostess' podium before a blind barrage could be fired in his direction, bumping into a waitress had also taken cover.
Kato was already getting dangerously low on ammo for his Mini Uzi, but mentally patted himself on the back for being smart enough to bring along a Beretta 92F as backup and noticed two Redcoats who had attempted to take cover behind one of the pool tables. He had no idea where the third was with all the chaos taking place and focused on the two enemies hidden behind the table and fired blindly, managing to hit one in the throat and the other in his left arm.
Artie and Zeke watched as another Redcoat fell and a third was wounded, the latter fleeing out the back door. Before they could open fire, they were halted by a woman's scream and looked towards the front of the restaurant, where the fourth rival gang member had taken one of the waitresses hostage and was using her as a human shield.
"C'mon Ace bitch, bring it!" the red-clad gangster cackled as he fired away at the table Kato hid behind, "I'm right here!" he shouted clutching the woman tighter.
Artie looked over to Zeke, "Get out there and stop that other bastard, I'll take this fucker!"
With a nod, the bartender slipped out the back door in pursuit of the other gangster.
"C'mon you fucking pussy! You wanted me so bad, well here I am!" the Redcoat shouted firing away madly at Kato, stopping only when the waitress struggled. "Shut up bitch! I'm blowing your pretty little head off after I'm done with him!"
Artie peeked up from behind the counter and steadied his aim on the distracted thug, hoping to hit him in the head or shoulder so he would be forced to release the woman.
"C'mon out and shoot me blue balls!" the Redcoat called out, just as Artie squeezed the trigger and sent a round sailing through his temple.
There was no time to check on the waitress or any other patrons as the last attacker still needed to be stopped. A cacophony of loud pops came from outside, a definite sign there was more trouble than expected.
"Come on!" Artie shouted to Kato and the two of them made their way outside, only to find Zeke pinned down behind a Contender pickup truck.
A small platoon of Redcoat reinforcements had just arrived and had blocked off the parking lot entrance with one of their Burritos, while three of their Clovers had swerved to a halt on the surrounding grass. Most of them were wielding AK-47s and a few of them even carried pipe bombs.
"Suck on this Ace bitches!" one of the Redcoats shouted before tossing a pipe bomb into the lot, landing beneath a dark blue Mesa Grande jeep, taking it out in an explosion which also claimed the Sultan RS parked next to it.
"Fuckers took out my ride!" Kato growled as he and Artie took cover behind a bright red Buffalo.
"Oh shit, look out!" Artie shouted as he spotted another red and white Clover coming along the nearby street, its passenger sticking his arm out with an MP5 in hand.
Grabbing the young Ace by the shoulders, both of them managed to get out of the way just in time as a volley of rounds tore through the side of the muscle car.
"They're fucking everywhere!" Artie grunted after sliding across the hood of a Sunrise and landing hard on his side. He looked over to see Kato reaching into his pocket and pulling out a cell phone, "What are you doing?"
"Calling for backup!" the Ace shouted back, "Come on, come on goddamn it! Somebody pick up!" he screamed at the phone until someone finally picked up.
"Thank you!" he shouted with a brief smile before shouting into the phone, "Rex, its Kato! I need your help!"
Artie meanwhile popped up from behind the sedan and fired a burst at one of the Redcoats, who responded with a barrage that violently rocked the small luxury car.
"Dude, look I'm sorry to interrupt you getting your daily drink on and your daily blowjob, but we're in serious trouble over here and we need some fucking backup!" Kato screamed into his phone and listened before talking again, "Yeah, I know I'm the rookie and I fucked up, but you'll have to bitch me out later. We need some serious fucking help man! I'm with two guys over at the Gazangas in Blue Hook. I promise we'll save something for you to shoot up! Just get your ass over here please!"
The Sunrise was still being hammered away by the incessant automatic fire and Artie was listening to the hiss of fluids draining from the car, "Fucking move!"
Both men rounded the corner of the building, just in time to avoid the blast. All Artie could think about right now was if Zeke was alright or not.
"Alright, I just got through to Rex. He's going to round up some guys and they should be over in a few minutes!" Kato shouted, just as the Clover rounded the corner again and the same Redcoat popped out to fire away at them.
"I don't think we'll have a few minutes to spare!" Artie shouted back as he tried to return fire, a few of his bullets pinging off of the car's surface, coming nowhere near hitting his intended target.
Zeke had managed to survive the blast and was now hiding behind a Moonbeam minivan, dangerously low on ammo for his Makarov. He looked around the vehicle and saw he wasn't too far away from his Sabre GT, which had taken a few rounds, but otherwise appeared to be in workable condition.
"You gotta die sometime bitch!" a Redcoat shouted before firing a torrent of lead upon the van, shattering all of the windows and deflating the driver's side tires.
Taking a deep breath, Zeke crept along the side of the van and stuck his arm out, blinding firing three rounds at his attackers and doing no damage. The pissed off Redcoats responded with another flurry that made him wince and nearly drop his gun.
"Where the fuck did they go?" he asked himself looking around frantically for Artie and Kato, fearing he had been abandoned. It was only when the Redcoat Clover came soaring past again that he saw his friends fire upon the moving target, breathing a vapid sigh of relief.
Artie ducked behind a dumpster as the Clover came speeding by and fired another constant barrage upon him and Kato. He fired again upon the muscle car, but it was moving too fast and instead his bullets ricocheted off the pavement.
"Christ, I'm running out of ammo trying to battle these stupid fucks," he thought to himself as he ejected his latest magazine and scrambled through his pockets for antoher.
"Any last words you piece of shit?" the passenger called out as the Clover approached.
Artie watched as the rival gangster reached for something other than his MP5, a steel cylindrical object that left his eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets.
"Crap, Kato hit the deck!" the errand boy called out as he was preparing to dive for cover elsewhere, when a bullet tore through the would-be bomber's arm and forcing him to drop the improvised explosive.
The crude explosive hit the pavement and detonated a second later, sending the Clover flipping forward and landing on its roof, skidding down the street as it was swallowed up by the flames.
"What the hell?" Artie muttered as a dark blue '84 Polaris V8 with gold trim came roaring into view and skidded to a halt near the car park followed by four blue-clad individuals stepping out with weapons drawn.
"Did someone order a cavalry?" the driver called out, a tall muscular man with his short brown hair shaved into a crewcut and carrying an M-249 S.A.W. light machinegun.
Depressing the trigger, a stream of rounds tore through the nearest Redcoats and shredded through the parked vehicles at a frightening pace, the gunman letting out a mighty war cry as he dropped his foes in one flesh-ripping torrent of madness.
The three other inhabitants were each armed with AK-47s and wasted no time returning fire upon their hated enemies.
Zeke threw himself to the ground as the machinegun tore through the parked vehicles around him and scooped up his fallen pistol, seeing he still had four shots left in his current clip.
Slowly rising back to his feet, he peered through one of the Moonbeam's shattered windows to see his saviors dropping several of the Redcoats in one fell swoop. He could only watch in amazement as the tall guy with the machinegun ripped through their adversaries without breaking a sweat, like he would typically see in a Jack Howitzer movie.
"He's got everything down to a T, even his war cry sounds like the one Howitzer used in the first 'Evacuator' when he was shooting down that entire platoon of Viet Cong soldiers while trying to nail that Vietnamese chick at the same time," he thought to himself as he spotted a blood-covered Redcoat trying to raise his rifle and get a pot shot in on the machine gunner. Zeke took aim and fired what was left of his clip into the man's back, spattering his blood all over a nearby '08 Chavos.
"You see Artie, this is how we call for backup, Ace style!" Kato shouted back pulling out his Beretta 92F and shooting a Redcoat in the back of his neck, dead before he hit the ground.
The Aces were making good time and had by now picked off most of the Redcoats, seemingly on the verge of victory until one of the blue-clad gang bangers took several rounds to the chest and struck his head against a curb as he fell backwards to the ground.
"You son of a bitch!" the machine gunner cried out, firing at the killer. His rounds tore through the Redcoats chest and the rival gangster was dead within seconds, but the enraged shooter continued to shred away until it looked like his deceased enemy had been sent through a garbage disposal.
It took one final round from the AK-47 of another Ace to drop the last Redcoat, sending the bothersome gangster collapsing onto the hood of Zeke's Sabre GT.
"Motherfucker, I just got a new paintjob!" the bartender cried in dismay, angrily kicking the Redcoat corpse away from his car.
A police siren called out from a distance, stopping the victors dead in their tracks.
"C'mon, we've gotta get outta here!" the machine gunner shouted, "Kato, you're coming with me!"
"I don't have much choice anyway, those fuckers wrecked my Mesa!" the rookie Ace shouted back running over to the muscle car.
"And I'm not gonna have much choice in not kicking your ass later on!" the gunner replied.
"Dude, it's not like I expected to run into some fucking Redcoats!" Kato protested as he climbed inside.
"C'mon, we've gotta go!" Zeke shouted over to Artie and then turned his attention to Kato, "Gimme a call later!"
"Sure thing man!" the Ace shouted back as the Polaris V8 sped away in the opposite direction.
Zeke tossed Artie his set of keys, "You'd better drive man, I'll hold those pigs off if they get too close!" the bartender said reaching down to grab a dead Redcoat's AK-47.
"Gotcha," Artie shouted back climbing into the driver's seat and firing the car up, peeling out of the car park just as one of the blue and white R.C.P.D. cars came into view.
"You in the sweet looking Sabre GT! This is the Rushmore City Police Department, pull over immediately or we will be forced to open fire!" an officer shouted over the microphone, "And please surrender, we really don't wanna damage that sweet ride!"
"Just keep driving!" Zeke shouted back sticking his upper body out the window and firing upon the pursuing cruiser, pelting the hood with bullets and shattering the windshield.
Artie did as he was told and sped through a busy intersection, causing a Packer transport truck to slam head on into a green and white Banshee, followed by an oncoming NRG-900 slamming into the totaled sports car and its driver flying airborne into the path of a V8 Ghost.
Another patrol car joined the chase, its passenger peppering the back end of the Sabre GT with rounds and shattering the rear window.
"Goddamn it, first I get a car blown up and now this," Zeke complained as he waited for an opportune time to return fire, "I guess there goes my funding for that new drum set."
"Why don't you just worry about getting those fucking pigs off our tail for now," Artie called back narrowly dodging an incoming Hellenbach GT followed by a Borgnine cab, whose driver would pull out a Desert Eagle and begin firing upon them until they were out of sight.
When the cruiser's passenger stopped to reload his gun, the bartender stuck his upper torso out the window and fired again, his bullets tearing through the windshield and hitting the passenger in the chest repeatedly. He fired again and struck one of the car's front tires, causing it to swerve out of control and smash into a bus stop kiosk.
"Damn, that's some nice shooting kid. I might have to start bringing you along on future missions," Artie laughed as he swerved to avoid an oncoming Roadtrain.
"Nah, I don't possess nearly half the cojones you do. I only fight when I absolutely have to," Zeke replied as he ejected the spent AK clip and then reached for the Remington 870 he kept in a rack behind the seats. He continued to hold the shotgun for dear life until no more police sirens could be heard.
"Alright, I think we lost 'em," Artie said looking around cautiously before turning up the radio, which was currently playing "Holiday in Cambodia" by the Dead Kennedys.
"Thanks a lot for your help though, definitely a good thing I decided to bring you along," Zeke said finally laying back in his seat and relaxing, "I never expected those bitches to show up like that. Hell, I honestly had no idea Kato was even part of the Aces."
"Well he almost got us killed flashing his colors out in public like that. Christ, I don't know whether he was just brave or stupid pulling shit like that," Artie grunted.
"Hey, Kato's a good guy!" Zeke snapped, "He's not as soft around the edges as you might think, but then again he thinks he has to act macho all the time just because his parents named him Kelly."
Artie snickered slightly at the statement, "Really? You mean he seriously thinks he has to go around starting shit just to show the world he's not some girlish sissy because of his name alone? Christ, he's going to be in a pine box before you know it."
"He's always figured he'll die young anyway, don't ask me why. Back when we were in high school he once rode through a cornfield on a Quad while wearing a flame retardant body suit just for shits and giggles. Seriously man, there's never a dull moment with that guy around," Zeke replied shaking his head.
Artie pulled the Sabre GT to a halt in front of The Little Black Book and the duo approached the door, only to stop when they heard loud sobbing coming from within.
Cautiously approaching the door, the hired gun looked back to Zeke and nodded before pulling out his CZ 75 and easing the door open a bit before shoving it hard and throwing himself inside with his gun drawn, expecting that maybe Sneed had sent somebody to finish the job with Gino.
Instead, Artie entered to find his cousin slumped over the bar counter with a half-empty bottle of champagne in hand, sobbing and babbling incoherently.
"What the fuck?" he asked Zeke.
The entire room had at one point been spruced up to resemble a fancy restaurant with some cleaned up curtains hung from the walls, now covered in various types of food. One of the pool tables had been converted into a buffet table, all of the food now scattered about, and a table had been set up in the center of the room, which was now overturned with all of its contents littering the floor around it. A tape on Zeke's radio still played Beethoven's "Moonlit Sonata," set on a loop so the piece played over and over again.
Gino himself had been spruced up too at one point, wearing a fancy black sport coat, matching slacks, a white dress shirt underneath and a bright red tie. A matching rose had been positioned in his breast pocket, but was now crumpled thanks to him slumping over the counter.
Pukin' Pete sat across from him, guzzling down his own bottle of champagne before burping loudly.
"Man Gino…you gotta…st-st-stop…shutting this place…down…I mean…bro's over…ho's…" he said, hiccupping the last word out.
"Alright, what the hell just happened here?" Zeke called out running over to the bar, "I leave this place for one day and already you've reduced it to an even bigger shithole than what it already is. Seriously boss, what the fuck just happened here?"
Gino was far too inebriated to reply, communicating through a series of gurgles, groans and unintelligible slurred words, the only word either man being able to make out was "whore."
"That 'hot date' must've broken his heart. He hasn't drunk this much since his ex-wife left him," Zeke said struggling to help his soused boss stand upright, only to have the man collapse backward and knock a bunch of bottles from the nearby rack, "Shit, help me with him!"
Running behind the counter, Artie picked his cousin up beneath his other arm and they led the portly man over to one of the booths.
"Gino, I don't know about you," the younger Cappelli cousin sighed, shaking his head at the older man, who was still unable to speak clearly.
"Duh…woman…ev…evil…" he slurred, falling forward and hitting his head on the table.
"You'll never learn," Artie said helping sit him back against his seat, "Don't know if it's gonna be alright with you."
Zeke meanwhile had made his way back towards the supply closet to get a mop, only to find the door locked.
"What the hell?" he said struggling with the knob, only to hear some frightened whimpering coming from within, "Randy?"
"Zeke…Zeke is that you?" his friend squeaked from the other side.
"Yeah, it's me dude. You can open the door now!" Zeke said pounding on it again.
"Is it over yet?" his friend asked.
"Is what over?" Zeke demanded, "Dude, just open the fucking door. Nobody's here to kill you!"
"B-B-B-But sh-sh-she…m-might be here to r-r-rape me!" he stammered.
"What?" Zeke replied with a roll of his eyes, "Dude, its safe now please just open the door! We need to get this place cleaned up."
A couple of deep breaths were heard from the other side before the door slowly opened and Randy peeked his head out like he was hiding from somebody out to get him.
"Randy, it's alright man," Zeke said pulling the door open, "What the hell just happened here? This place looks like Steel Junction's attempt at looking classy!"
Pulling out an inhaler, the former Cluckin' Bell cashier took a couple of puffs before speaking, "It was horrible man. Gino's date showed up and…oh god man she was like fucking six hundred pounds and she ravished the buffet I toiled over helping Gino set up and when he wanted some food for himself…all hell broke loose…"
"Okay, I don't think I should bother to ask any further," Zeke said as his friend finally stepped out to survey the aftermath.
"She wasn't interested in Gino man…she was interested in me…" Randy said with a loud gulp, to which Zeke forced himself to suppress a snicker, "…she fucking tried to rape me man! If I had my phone with me I would've called the zoo and told them one of their hippos escaped!"
"Okay, okay Randy settle down dude," Zeke said leading his friend over to a stool a couple spots away from Pukin' Pete, "We'll get this place cleaned up and wash away all the memories of this horrible day."
"Dude, you're gonna need to give me fucking fifty years' worth of therapy to get this image out of my mind!" Randy bellowed, on the verge of ripping his hair out of his head.
Artie had been maintaining a careful vigil over his cousin when his phone began ringing and he looked down to see it was Donnie calling.
"Donnie, what's up?"
"Hey yo' Cuz, you got anything going on right now?" Donnie called out from the other end.
Before Artie could speak, Pukin' Pete suddenly vomited all over the counter.
"Hey, that's my workplace jackass!" Zeke shouted in disgust.
"Umm…no why?" Artie replied, thinking his other cousin may have had something in mind for him.
"Good because I need your assistance pronto," Donnie spoke.
"What's going on now?" the hired gun asked, barely able to disguise any exasperation in his voice.
"One of my 'friends' is in a jam and needs some urgent assistance, so I figured you'd be the man to come to. Don't worry bro', I'll see to it that you get some money for this good deed. Scout's honor," Donnie spoke slyly.
"Okay, what's your, or should I say your 'friend's' problem?" Artie asked looking down to Gino, who looked like he was about to fall over again.
"It's something I'd rather tell you in person. Meet me at my condo whenever you're available."
"Alright, I'll be there in a few minutes. Just hang tight Donnie Boy," Artie said before switching his phone off.
"Okay guys, I hate to cut this short, but Donnie needs some help and I'm going over to his place," the Italian-American said making his way toward s the door.
"No problem man, hopefully we'll have this place looking good as new by the time you get back…as good as new as we possibly can…" Zeke said staring at Pukin' Pete as he knocked over some barstools.
Artie made his way outside and rounded the corner into the side alley, making his way towards his waiting Sentinel.
As he got closer, he was halted by the ghastly stench associated with one person he had come to hate during his stay in Rushmore City.
Approaching the sedan cautiously he looked in through the shattered rear window to see Old Freda sound asleep in his backseat.
Reacting on instinct, Artie reached for his pistol and began firing rounds at the car.
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAR YOU RANCID BITCH!"
The bullets startled the aging prostitute awake, one of the rounds tearing some of her frizzled hair away as it embedded itself in the seat behind her.
"Is it time to fuck yet?" she called out in her high-pitched drunken squawk.
"Get out of my car you fucking ugly freak of nature! I fucking hate you!" Artie screamed yanking his door open and pointing his gun threateningly at her face.
"Why can't you just threaten me with your other 'gun' baby?" the woman asked staring towards his crotch.
Screaming in rage, Artie fired a round through her upper arm.
"You don't have to be so bossy sexy boy," Freda laughed, acting as if the bullet had no effect on her. Stepping out of the car, she suddenly collapsed onto the pavement and laid there in a daze. For all Artie knew, he honestly didn't care if she died right then and there in that back alley.
"Fucking bitch," he growled staring at his now shot up Sentinel, "Damn it Artie, you should've gotten the fucking windows fixed before you went to bed last night."
"No way in hell I'm gonna drive around in that," he said with a shudder and then returned his attention to the street. "Gonna have to find another ride over there."
Walking onto the street he looked around for any available vehicles and spotted a '92 Club compact approaching. Running over to the car he quickly yanked the door open.
"Need to borrow your car sir," Artie announced as he struggled with its occupant, an overweight red-haired man in a bright Hawaiian shirt.
"This is my mom's car you asshole!" the man shouted back.
"Well now it's not!" Artie grunted as he finally forced the man onto the street and climbed inside, gunning it down the street.
As he sped down the street a news broadcast came over the radio:
"This is Aidan Finn live on the scene with RCNN-13 News, where yet another massive shootout has just occurred between the warring Aces and Redcoats street gangs, this time at the Gazangas restaurant in Blue Hook. There have been twenty-two confirmed fatalities, among them three patrons, eighteen Redcoats, and one Ace, who has been identified as 24 year old Trey Roberson. Police are still taking eyewitness statements at this point, assuring there will be more to come as this story further develops."
Artie switched over to the Beatbox 102 hip-hop station, which was currently playing "Back That Azz Up" by Juvenile.
"You'd better make this worth my time Donnie," he thought making his way for the Lakeview district.
Author's Note: And so ends another installment of "Rushmore City" and the end of a man date that thankfully involved none of that 'yaoi' bullshit…ugh!
The Clogged Bowl of Gazangas would be inspired by any large order of wings you can get from a Hooters and just how you feel so clogged up afterwards…then again all the boobs make it worth your while…*smiles*
Well I hope you enjoyed yet another "shoot 'em up friendly" installment of "Rushmore City" and as always read and review! This is Metal Harbinger saying SPREAD THE SICKNESS, ONE MIND AT A TIME! \m/