Hi guys! I'm so, so sorry I haven't updated any of my stories in over a month. I've been super busy lately with student council, band, debate, and a musical. This is the last day of my four-day breather and I figured, why not update a fan fiction? So without further ado, here's chapter 13. :)
It was breezy that day. Fall was coming in, so as Steve walked in the park, golden and burgundy leaves fell in his hair. Kids ran around on a playground and in the grass, parents close by but not really paying attention; lovers strolled, hands entwined, heads close together; excited dogs being walked by owners; an elderly couple here or there, sitting on a bench; and joggers, suits on and headbands wrapped around their forehead, passing by him.
SHIELD had somehow found a coat similar to the one he had had in the military. The wind blew the coat so it was trailing behind him, floating on air. Steve kept an eye out for Natasha, his blonde hair waving back with the wind. After a few minutes, a flash of red hair came into his view point. The head belonging to it turned, and he saw the sharp eyebrows and thin lips through her hair that was blowing wildly out of control. Steve, grinning, approached her. "It sure is windy today."
She was wearing a dark gray jacket with glossy black buttons and skinny ash colored jeans. Boots the same color as the buttons came up to her mid-thigh. She stood up, her arms crossed. "It is."
Steve observed her outfit. "You look very fashionable."
She attempted to not smile. "This? Nah."
"I think so." He held out his arm. "Shall we walk?"
Taking it, she answered, "Indeed."
They walked silently for a few moments. "Natasha, you always seem so calm."
"What do you mean by that?" She was looking at a tree as they walked passed it.
"Your voice is always just so gentle when you don't need to act harsh."
Her attention turned back to Steve. "That's a bad thing?"
"No, I'm not trying to say that. It's a bit, uh… disconcerting?" His smooth attempt to save himself failed.
She smiled again. "So what should we do about that?"
"We?"
She nodded. "We."
"Um… get you to act like you're having fun?"
"Do I not act like that?"
Steve felt this conversation was going the wrong way. "No… I mean, you say you do, but you're just always the same, and I'm so unsure if I did something right or not and then… I just… feel like… well, I don't know, but…." He paused, wondering if she even heard the rush of words.
"Steve, relax." She said it nicely. "You're not offending me."
He exhaled. "I'm not good with talking to women."
"It's fine." The conversation dropped there.
A few couples passed by them as they walked in silence. Steve watched them pass. They all had the same look on their faces; a dreamy, content look, as if they hadn't a worry in the world. They looked… in love. Not like people just claim they are, but actually in love. He looked down at Natasha, who, though a head shorter than him (not to mention the ability to beat him up), could be something more than what she is right now. Something like they were.
Wondering what it felt like, he thought back to Peggy. It hurt to breathe for a second. Did they love each other?
He stopped thinking about her when he felt like he was going to stop and cry and looked down at Natasha. Suddenly he felt warm, and all the bad feelings washed away and were replaced by new feelings; feelings he couldn't describe. He suddenly wanted to be one of those couples, holding hands and looking carefree.
He stopped himself.
"You're quiet," Natasha said.
"Oh, I was just… thinking."
"About what?"
"Um… Natasha, have you ever been in love?" he blurted. Her eyebrows were raised slightly in surprise. "Sorry, that was stupid," he said, trying to make sure he wasn't blushing again.
"I can't say," Natasha said.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be Steve, it's okay." She looked at Steve and away again. "It's okay."
They walked a while longer until they came to the fountain. She stopped in front of it suddenly. Steve stopped as well when he saw she was no longer moving.
Staring into the fountain, Natasha spoke. "How do you define love?"
Steve shrugged. "How would I know? I've only kissed one girl in my life, and even then I wasn't in an actual relationship with her."
Natasha's eyes flickered. "I don't know how to answer your question then."
"You don't have too." He looked over at her for a brief second.
"Steve... I've, um… been hurt before. But I don't focus on it and I've given up on love in general, I guess."
He nodded, lips pursed.
Her arm left his before he felt it sliding down his arm and grabbing his fist. He unclenched it, fingers entwining with hers.
"But I'd be willing to try again."