101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks
I hope you enjoyed the 50th chapter special…because now I'm going to kill off Jar Jar Binks using another movie reference…of course it could also be considered a book reference considering the movie is also a book…
Aargh, this is making my head spin! Let's just kill Jar Jar Binks once again, won't we?
Chapter 51: Hunger Games
Once again, our heroes decided to go on a vacation. This time, it was towards a country known as Panem. Apparently, our heroes thought it was lovely.
What our heroes didn't realize was that it was actually quite the dystopia. Every year, one boy and one female in one out of twelve districts were forced to participate in a sick game known as the Hunger Games, where each tribute hunts down and kills each other until one of them is left.
Apparently the capitol invented this to keep the rebels under control, which suffice to say was actually quite a familiar concept to our heroes.
Suffice to say, as soon as our heroes arrived at the planet, they were immediately approached by several Capitol security officers.
"You must come with us." ordered the officers.
"Did we drive too fast or something?" wondered Anakin Skywalker.
As it turns out, they were being taken towards the Reaping, the procedure in which the male and female would be chosen for the games. A lady who interestingly looked about as annoying as Jar Jar Binks himself proceeded to pick a piece of paper out of a bowl…
…when suddenly Jar Jar Binks volunteered for the games, having no idea what was he getting himself into.
"Pick mesa! Mesa!" demanded Jar Jar Binks.
Suffice to say, Jar Jar Binks was chosen to be the male representive for the twelveth district. In order to keep an eye on Jar Jar Binks (and get to kill him herself), Padme Amidala decided to volunteer for the Hunger Games as well.
After a week of preparing (causing both of them to wonder what the Hunger Games was actually about), they were sent to the arena, where they would play a game of survival of the fittest.
Suffice to say, Padme Amidala spent a few days of hell as she was hunted down by the bloodthirsty careers (a group of tributes who decided to work together up until the point where they decided to kill each other), a group of tracker jackers (cybernetic wasps that could cause powerful hallucinations with their venom), and even muttations (vicious wolves made from the bodies of tributes).
Apparently the gamemakers thought that the Hunger Games were fun for the tributes, as they kept adding death traps for each of the tributes.
Thankfully, Padme Amidala had decent survival skills (for one thing, she was smart enough not to head towards the weapons that were laid around the Cornucopia and get herself killed), and was able to hold on up until the point where the second-to-last-cannon sounded.
"I guess that means there's only one person left." thought Padme Amidala, glad that the nightmare was almost over.
"Hey Padme! Wassup!" greeted Jar Jar Binks.
Padme Amidala dropped her jaw in disbelief. How the heck had he survived?
Flashback to when the Hunger Games officially started…
The tributes ran towards the Cornucopia, collecting various weapons and other things they would use to survive later…unfortunately, most of them wouldn't even survive the first day.
It was quite a bloodbath…thanks to Jar Jar Binks.
"Whoa guys! Yousa sure yousa should be playing with thesa weapons?" asked Jar Jar Binks.
Suddenly, the tributes fell down screaming in agony. Apparently they weren't nearly as used to Jar Jar Binks' obnoxiousness as his friends were.
"What's da matter? Are yousa feeling okay?" asked Jar Jar Binks.
Every word that came out of Jar Jar Binks' words was like a dagger piercing their skin.
Some of the tributes were smart and ran away from the deadly Gungan, but most of them had already been caught by his deadly trap which he had set up by himself inadvertently.
"See yousa guys later!" said Jar Jar Binks.
By the time he said that, the majority of the tributes were already dead.
End of flashback…
"Die you annoying piece of crap!" screamed Padme Amidala, who shot Jar Jar Binks several times with the bow and arrow she had stolen from one of the careers.
"Why yousa shoot mesa?" asked Jar Jar Binks, right before he died.
Suffice to say, Padme Amidala was crowned the winner of the twisted tournament, and she was allowed to return towards her friends and family.
"What kind of person takes pleasure in watching other people suffer?" spoke the disgusted Anakin Skywalker.
"People who have turned to the dark side, apparently." agreed Obi-Wan Kenobi.
"I hope I don't have to participate in a game like this." hoped Qui-Gon Jinn.
"Hey guys, I'm back!" Padme Amidala informed the rest.
"You survived?" stated C-3PO in disbelief.
Suffice to say, our heroes were all pleasantly surprised by all of this.
And to make matters even better, Padme was smart enough to hide Jar Jar Binks inside a body bag so that he could be resurrected later.
In fact, they did so as soon as he went home.
I hope you enjoyed this little parody…now then, what should I use for the next chapter? Would you guys like another movie reference? Or do you want something more original. It's your choice.