Ahh... I like the smell of fresh angst in the morning, don't you agree?

-Evil grin-

Relevant Tarot Cards for this chapter:

The Ace of Cups: The Ace of Cups announces the deepening of an existing relationship, and a time to celebrate the many relationships with your friends and family that you've already been blessed with.

The Hanged Man: Indicates that the time has come for you to change perspectives. If you feel like things are at a stalemate, try changing your point of view. Once you do, clarity will be bestowed upon you.

12. The Ace of Cups - The Hanged Man

The linen fabric of their pants was soaked by the time Ace coaxed Luffy on his feet again on the sand, still holding him close.

"Are you alright?" He asked Luffy, eyes shut as he nuzzled the soft strands of his jet black hair.

Luffy moved his head affirmatively, sighing. "You're so understanding. Thank you."

The older male smiled in acknowledgement, encouraging eyes going over his tear-stained, pitiful face. "You bring that out in me," he whispered gently, now looking at the bruise on his left cheek again. "You've already become very precious to me. I can't protect what's precious to me, without understanding first."

"How can you be real...?" Luffy whimpered in wonder, eyes falling closed, a tear escaping from an eye as Ace's lips landed on his lovingly and he smiled into the kiss.

Ace smirked and rubbed their noses together. "I thought I showed you how real of a boy I am...?"

Luffy laughed heartedly at his joke, wrapping his arms around his neck. "And I'm not soon to forget it," he chuckled before stilling and looking him in the eyes. "I'm really lucky, aren't I?"

"I know I am," Ace replied, smiling warmly at him.

With the next kiss and the ensuing longing caress of Ace's tongue over his, the tenderness of his embrace and the soft murmur of gentle words in his ear that were meant to bring them closer and to increase their intimacy, all Luffy felt was a vise that slowly squeezed his heart inbetween its prongs, making it harder and harder for him to be around Ace without feeling completely unworthy of his affection.

"Hey, here's a thought," Ace whispered in his ear a little while later as they now sat on the sands, both facing the glittering ocean.

"Hm?" Luffy asked, lifting his head from his position in between his thigs, glancing at Ace's handsome features from between his bangs.

"I can have the chefs prepare a feast for tonight and we could eat it all by ourselves," Ace began, watching Luffy turning himself around carefully to kneel in front of him with an expectant gaze. He grinned at him, taking a moment to look at his gorgeous, sunkissed frame with the crystal blue sea behind him. "You're so fucking beautiful..." he whispered, having lost his train of thought.

Luffy raised an amused eyebrow and grinned. "My attention peaked at the word 'feast', I stopped listening after that."

Ace laughed hard and pulled him in for a kiss. "I was trying to say that we could either have a private party tonight and eat and drink and fill in the blanks or we could have people over, like say, your friends and my friends..."

Luffy bit his lower lip and wrapped his arms around Ace's shoulders. "What would you rather have?"

"You know what I'd rather have," Ace replied throatily as his eyes darkened with desire and made Luffy's breath catch in his throat. He ran the back of his right hand fingers against Luffy's reddening left cheek. "But I feel like I need to give you more time; I want to connect with you to the fullest next time we have sex, because when we'll do it again, it won't be 'just sex' anymore."

Luffy nodded, understanding what Ace was saying completely. It had been unspoken, but the pressure to have sex with Ace again had grown exponentially since last night. It was only natural that they'd want to have sex with each other again now that Ace had been released from the hospital, but Luffy was glad that Ace was perceptive enough to see that sex right now wouldn't be fulfilling for either of them, it'd only satisfy their bodily urges and nothing more.

And he was right, with the way things were going between them, if and when they'd have sex again, he didn't want it to be just another session of 'doing it'.

He too wanted it to mean so much more. He'd had enough of the other variety to last him a lifetime.

Yet Luffy knew.

"I'm not ready," he whispered apologetically.

Ace took him in his arms and nodded. "I know."

Luffy smiled over his shoulder and nuzzled the side of his neck. "This is so weird to me..."

"What is?"

"To have someone who gets me," Luffy murmured back. "And accepts me fully. I'm dangerously close to falling for you, mister."

"Good," Ace said, tightening his grip on Luffy and closing his eyes. "When you get there, I'll be waiting."

Luffy moved back out of the embrace a little, smiling as he approached his lips with his again, capturing them in a loving kiss and giggling as Ace made them fall backwards on the sand. He climbed on top of him, straddled his hips and looked him in the eyes, losing himself into their depths, desperately needing his light to guide him and take him away to that place that was theirs alone.

The rolling waves continued to crash onto the shore and their naked feet, and while the world around them could burn and perish, chances were that neither of them would even notice.

Luffy grinned as he and Robin watched Ace, Franky and Zoro manning the barbecue on the terrace in front of the outhouses overlooking the ocean at the back of the main building of the property.

"He's hot. He's really hot."

Ace laughed at Zoro's and Franky's antics and took a swing of the bottle of beer he was nursing with his free hand as he flipped a spare rib on the grill. Their eyes met and Ace winked at him, clearly enjoying himself.

Luffy blushed and sighed. "He makes it so easy, Bee," he whispered to her, briefly distracted by the shrieks coming from the naval, three way battle in the infinity pool which opposed Sanji/Nami to Marco/Whitey and to Law/Vivi. The ladies sat on their respective partners' shoulders and tried to knock each other off them. He was just in time to witness the tragic downfall of Sanji and Nami at the hands of Marco and Whitey with a well placed kick with a foam stick to Sanji's forehead.

"Aaah Sanji! You whimp!" Chopper called from the side of the pool, laughing excitedly.

Robin chuckled at the scene and casually lowered her sunglasses as she sat back in the comfortable pillows of her sunlounger, stretching her beautifully tanned and sensuous body on the chair. She was wearing a dark purple string bikini with cute purple bows on her hips and on her back. Her long tresses fell in soft waves down her ample chest. She turned her head to her brother and smiled comfortingly. "It's supposed to be easy, Lou. Complicated is exactly what you don't want," she said, nodding her head towards Kaya and Usopp who were looking at the magnificient view of the ocean from their elevated point.

Luffy sat himself in the middle of his sunlounger and crossed his ankles, smiling to himself as he looked at them holding each other lovingly, Kaya kissing her husband's chin as he held her from the back. Luffy thought back of the first dinner he'd had with his friends, when he'd wondered if he'd ever be able to find someone who'd love him like Zoro loved his sister, or like Usopp loved Kaya. He felt like Ace could certainly be that person for him, but now the question was if he was really ready for him to be loved so completely and so unconditionally.

Luffy lowered his head and looked at the white fabric of the lounger in between his legs.

There was so much he still needed to happen before he'd be able to give himself fully to Ace. He had a lot of introspection to do. "No, it's not," he whispered concedingly.

"Just go with the flow, Lou. You might be readier than you think," Robin said, catching Ace glancing at the both of them. "And he's crazy about you. I can tell."

Luffy lifted his head and watched Zoro and Ace conversing amicably as they walked towards the patio to place the plates of grilled meat and fish on the awaiting dinner table. "And I'm crazy about him."

"But?" Robin knowingly whispered, closing her eyes and turning her face to the sky, making herself more comfortable in her lounger.

"I'm still very much afraid," Luffy admitted, now looking to his left at Law and Vivi who were crying out their victory over Marco and Whitey in the pool. He smirked briefly when he saw Chopper and Law high five with him still in the water and the reindeer on the tiles beside the pool. "And he's so understanding, I told him everything this morning."

"Everything?" Robin wondered, lifting up her sunglasses from her nose with a surprised look.

Luffy nodded with a wry smile. "And yet he's still here."

"Don't run away," Robin sternly said, understanding where her brother's train of thought was leading him. She locked her eyes with his as they looked up at her in astonishment. "Do whatever you must do to conquer this fear you still have about your relationship, but don't let this one go."

"I don't want to," Luffy confessed, smiling as he looked at how Vivi walked up to Law in her light blue, laser cut flutter bikini, wrapping the both of them in a large towel as she enclosed her arms around his broad shoulders and gave him a victory kiss. "I don't want to..."

"Then you know what to do," Robin concluded, sitting back, her sunglasses back on her nose. "I for one love this place. I'd like to come here more often."

Luffy laughed and nodded. He then stilled and his expression turned pensive. "I know what to do."

"Are you guys coming? Dinner is served!" Sanji called to them from the patio Marco and Whitey were walking towards.

Robin grabbed her black and purple kimono styled bathrobe from the back of her chair and put it on, tying the sash closely around her body. "Shall we go? Our friends are waiting."

Luffy returned the beaming smile she gave him and followed her towards the white patio at the end of the terrace, catching up with Law and Vivi as they went.

Two hours later, when dinner was gone and done with, he found himself in Ace's arms again on the large white couch of the relaxation area of the sheltered patio, watching with a dreamy grin at the couples dancing around the pool in the distance, Franky's beats echoing all over the island as they'd moved into the party section of their get together.

"I love this," Luffy whispered against Ace's chest, closing his eyes as he exhaled deeply. "Thank you."

"I love this too, it's like we've all known each other for ages," Ace replied, nodding his head to the music. "It makes things that much easier."

"I think you were as surprised as me when Law suddenly asked me about work and how things were going with Vivi's management," Luffy said with an amused shake of his head.

"Oh come on, he's trying," Ace chuckled.

Luffy sat up and looked at him accusatively. "I knew it, you asked him to be nice to me, didn't you?"

"Yeah," Ace said as a-matter-of a-factedly, shrugging. "But I never asked him to be that nice!" he grinned before faking a grimace at the playful punch Luffy gave him against his upper arm.

"So you forced me to be nice to him in turn!" Luffy pouted.

Ace grabbed him and pulled his smaller body to him and held him close, chuckling all the while. "Law knows that you and Vivi are on very good terms and that he needs to make an effort towards me because you and I are together. Don't worry, his kindness is not because I asked him to."

"Or because he actually cares about me, right?" Luffy questionned with a roll of his eyes.

"Who knows?" Ace replied teasingly. "Maybe you should make an effort to get to know him better too. He's one of my best friends and this is a two way street after all."

Luffy huffed and pouted, averting his eyes when Ace moved in to kiss his puckered lips. He gave into his persistant butterfly kisses not even a moment later, smirking and kissing him back. "Okay, okay already!" he giggled when Ace attacked that weak spot in his throat and he had to bite back a moan.

"You guys are adorable together."

Luffy turned his head around to look at Usopp and Kaya who had seated themselves in the far corner of the 12-seat sofa. Ace offered them a wide smile over Luffy's head that obstructed his view of the couple a bit.

"How have you guys been enjoying yourselves so far?" he amicably asked, running a hand through Luffy's hair to have him lay his head against his chest comfortably.

"It's been great, thank you for inviting us into your amazing home," Kaya said with her head placed on Usopp's left shoulder. She stiffled a yawn and averted her face embarassedly, giggling. "Sorry."

Usopp grinned back and kissed her forehead in an endeared manner. "This was exactly what we needed; it's been perfect. Thanks, man."

Luffy smiled happily at them and then gave Ace a comprehensive look, which the older male returned. "If you guys feel like turning in for the night, your apartment is ready. All of your luggage has been brought to your rooms as well," Ace offered, smiling understandingly.

Kaya looked at her husband with an inquiring gaze and he nodded at her. "I think we'll do just that, if you don't mind."

Ace had noticed Law and Marco walking up to him from the terrace and he shook his head. "Not at all; I'll walk you," he said, beginning to detach himself from Luffy, who moved away from him and placed his feet back on the floor as he sat up.

Following Ace's gaze, Luffy could feel a sense of staidness in Law and Marco's approach and he briefly wondered if something had happened that he did not know about.

"Alright, thank you Ace," Kaya acquiesced before yawning again. She even had tears in her eyes from yawning that hard. "Oh wow."

"You should really get to bed already, Kaya," Luffy noted, standing as Ace did.

"I'm sure Usopp wouldn't object to carrying her if the need for him to do so presented itself," Ace said, beginning to walk to the edge of the patio where his friends were waiting for him.

Kaya and Luffy chuckled mockingly and shook their heads.

Ace smiled in confusion, not understanding what he'd missed. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Just how far is our room exactly?" Usopp wondered, already taking Kaya by a hand so they could get going.

Luffy laughed quietly and watched them make their way down the steps leading to the lower situated outhouses, waving a hand as Marco nodded his head once his way before following Law down the hill.

He looked at the rest of their friends still partying by the glass railing overlooking the darkened ocean, dancing and singing without an apparent care in the world.

Luffy took out his phone and read the time off of it before nodding to himself and unlocking the device to look for the number he needed to call right now.

"Grandpa? Hi. Yeah, it's Luffy."

It was the sound of laughter and the rolling of the waves in the distance that woke him up the next morning, his head feeling heavy and pounding something fierce.

He opened his eyes and blinked rapidly against the intrusive sunlight that tried to burn its way through his corneae.

"Oh fuck," he sighed, voice sounding like something had crawled in his throat and died there. He took a breath and only then noted Ace's large left arm draped over his naked chest, keeping him pinned to the bed as the rest of the man lay sprawled over 85% of the Kingsize bed they were supposed to share.

A grunt sounded from somewhere deep inside the pillow Ace had buried his face in and Luffy turned his head to him. "You got so wasted last night."

Ace lifted his face from the pillow and blinked drowsy eyes at him for a full ten seconds before turning his head to the side and letting it fall back on the pillow with a grunt. "You were the one dancing on the dinner table last night after having had one of those pink shot bombs Sanji wipped up for us."

Luffy tried to chuckle, but chose against it as it only made the hammering in his head worse. "What did he put in them?" he moaned.

"I only had one sip of those things, because of the medication I'm still on," was Ace's muffled answer from next to him. "But I think it was liquid brain dissolver."

A laugh escaped him before he could stop it and he was groaning in pain a moment later. "I really need to take something against this headache that's splitting my head apart."

Ace made an agreeing sound and pulled his arm off of Luffy, pushing himself up a moment later in alert when he heard him fall on the floor in front of the bed. "You okay?"

Luffy chuckled and hid his face behind his hands turning his body around on the floor so he was facing the ceiling. "I can't feel my legs."

Ace laughed in turn and forced himself out of the bed, stumbling his way over to his boyfriend's sprawled out body. "You look absolutely pitiable."

Luffy couldn't stop laughing at that point. "Shut up and help me," he giggled, reaching his right arm towards him while wiping away his tears of laughter with his other hand.

Ace complied and easily helped him up before sitting back down at the end of the bed with Luffy straddling his lap. He looked up at his smiling face and brushed back a few stray strands away, making Luffy still in his movements as their eyes met.

"You know you can tell me everything, right?" Ace whispered up to him, left arm encircling his waist while his right hand rested on his shoulder.

Luffy blushed at the sensuousness of Ace's voice, the closeness of their half-naked bodies lifting the haze in his mind. "I do."

Ace nodded in acknowledgement of his answer. "I'd do anything to keep you save, Luffy."

A shiver went through the younger male and he nodded, eyes falling on the adhesive bandage that covered his left chest "I know that, too."

"Good," Ace replied pulling him closer, closing his eyes when Luffy enclosed his shoulders with his arms.

A small smile formed on Luffy's lips and he rested the side of his face against the top of Ace's head, staring at his silent phone that lay on his bedside table.

"Just know that I'm the same."

The moment they drove into Sabaody City that Sunday evening after they'd picked up Luffy's Mini Cooper from Hiluluk Memorial, the weather that had been clear and sunny all weekend turned ominous and cloudy. By the time Luffy drove his car into the underground parking lot of Ace's condo complex it had started to rain very heavily.

"Unbelievable," Luffy exclaimed as they entered Ace's apartment and he saw the thick drops of water that crashed themselves against the panoramic windows. He could now clearly see the huge dark clouds that rolled in the skies above, pouring down over the entire city. "Ugh, and it'd been such a beautiful past few days."

"We're lucky we left the island when we did," Ace mused, placing his travelling bag on his big couch in the sitting area. "There's no way we would've been able to get to the city by boat in this weather."

Luffy made a face when he saw the lightning fork in the sky a few miles away. "You're right." He then squeezed his eyes shut and hugged himself when the thunder that came from that lightning finally made its way to them.

Ace came up to him and wrapped his arms around him, grinning into his hair. "Are you afraid of lightning?" he whispered gently.

Luffy pursed his lips and rolled his eyes to the floor, a red color passing his cheeks. "When I was little, a lightning strike felled one of the trees in Sabaody Park near our home and I saw it happen. It cut the tree neatly in half. I couldn't stop thinking about what it would do to a normal human being if it could do that to a huge tree. So ever since…"

Ace's grin turned into a sympathetic smile and he held him tighter. "My dad always told me to count the seconds between seeing the lightning and hearing the thunder."

"The higher the number, the farther away it was all happening," Luffy grinned with a nod. "My mom would hold me and count with me. It always reassured me when she did that."

Ace quieted and looked at the clouds outside, spotting another lightning strike in the distance.

"One. Two. Three. Four. Five…"

Luffy smiled and rested the back of his head against Ace's chest as he counted away the seconds, feeling his uneasiness silently ebb away and when the thunderclap was finally heard, he barely paid it attention since Ace had captured all of his.

"I want you to move in with me."

They'd ordered in their dinner because Ace's fridge had been emptied for the week he'd had to spend at the hospital and they'd been too lazy to fix themselves something to eat with whatever was left in the house. With the luxurious weekend they'd had, they could hardly be blamed.

So Luffy had been doing the dishes and cleaning up the empty take out wrappers and packages in the kitchen when Ace's question hit his ears.

"Uhm, what?" he asked, turning around to give him an incredulous look. "You can't be serious?" he added, still staring at his boyfriend who had seated himself on a stool by the kitchen table.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Ace questioned, tilting his head to the side and giving him another one of his dazzling smiles. He took a sip of the bottle of water he was holding and then threw back a few prescription pills and swallowed.

Luffy turned himself around again and exhaled deeply in order to calm himself. "Don't you think that moving in with each other is just going too fast?" he asked gingerly, putting the plate he'd just rinsed to the side.

Ace was observing him carefully, already noticing the subtle change in Luffy's demeanor. "I would love for you to be here with me, if only for the time I'll need for my convalescence."

"That's two months, Ace…" Luffy whispered, lowering his head. "We've known each other for almost two weeks."

"I thought that we'd done some progress over the last few days?" Ace questioned, referring to their relationship and to Luffy himself. "I feel like we really grew towards each other."

"We did, I feel the same," Luffy reassured him, smiling to himself. "But I want to give myself enough time to…" he paused and grinned when he thought of what Ace had told him yesterday on the beach. "…get where you are. Moving in together is too fast, even for me. I'm sorry."

Ace ran his tongue against the inside of his cheek in disappointment and nodded to himself, putting that topic aside. "Fair enough, but then I'd like to know what it is that you're still so very much afraid of, Luffy?"

Luffy turned around again at that, a denying expression ready. "What?"

Ace sat back in his stool and crossed his arms over his chest, his expression far from amused. "Right."

Luffy pouted his lips and smiled a little. "There's nothing. I just don't want to move in together yet," he said with a shrug. He then rolled his eyes when Ace's expression didn't change. "Look, if you want, I'll be here every night. We can make it work that way too, right?" he offered in compromise. "And then when the time's right we can move in together. I just don't want to rush into things and ruin everything because we went too fast."

A short, scoffing chuckle was Ace's response to that and when he looked at Luffy next it was with barely concealed discontentment. "Because lies don't tend to ruin things in a relationship?"

It was like someone had poured iced water all over him, causing him to freeze in place. His mouth was opening and closing itself stupidly as he tried to find words to explain himself with, smacked right in the middle between his feelings of shame, hurt and anger and his growing feelings for Ace. "What are you trying to say…?" he managed to whisper shakenly, gritting his teeth as he looked away. "I told you everything—"

"Did you?" Ace wondered, beginning to stand from his chair. "What happened to your face? To your right hand?"

"I fell—"

"Bull," Ace said quietly, staring at him intently.

Luffy bit his lower lip as he now looked at him angrily, twin tears falling from his eyes. "Why does it matter this much? I told you—"

"Then why are you crying?" Ace demanded calmly.

"Because you're being an asshole about this!" Luffy replied through clenched teeth.

"No," Ace retorted, closing his eyes and balling his fists. "It's because you're lying to me."

"Oh God," Luffy whispered, his angered expression breaking. He looked away, desperate to get out of this situation he suddenly found himself in, wiping his nose with the back of his hand as he sniffled. If Ace found out about what happened with Kid, Kid could start blackmailing him too, he couldn't let it happen. "Just because you have everything figured out about this relationship, doesn't mean I have too!" he whispered with a shake of his head.

"But you can tell me everything, I thought we were clear on that this morning," Ace said gently, coming closer to him.

"Stop…" Luffy sobbed quietly, his guilt only worsening now as he held on to the sink counter behind him, eyes tightly shut. "I can't…" he whimpered in a tiny tone of voice, his lower lip trembling.

Coward.

It would've been easier if Ace had just broken up with him when he'd revealed his promiscuous past because Luffy knew he was a coward and again, he was in the impossibility to let go when everything pointed that that was the best course of action.

This was what happened with Shanks all over again.

He was such a dreamer.

He preferred to choose for a false sense of security, even when the person he's supposed to care most about is in danger of losing everything just because he's too afraid to let them go.

And he knew he didn't deserve Ace and yet he stayed, allowing himself to fall in love with him, even.

He'd been telling himself that if he managed to resolve the situation with Kid, he'd be able to start over. He thought he'd have more time.

Selfish coward.

And Ace didn't deserve to be lied to. Of course he was right to get upset with him about it. Even when Kid'll be out of the picture, the fact that he lied to Ace would still stand.

He'd gambled on his relationship with Ace for the chance to take Kid down and he'd lost, having run out of time.

Ace sighed, closing his eyes in turn, beginning to feel remorse as he realized that whatever it was that Luffy wasn't telling him still hurt him too much to talk about. He'd just wanted for Luffy to feel like he could rest easy around him, that there was no need for secrets.

But somewhere along the way he knew he'd taken Luffy's reluctant behavior personally.

"Luffy—"

"I can't fucking tell you about what happened, why won't you just accept that!" Luffy snapped out of fear fuelled anger, before realizing what he'd just implicitly admitted to. "Shit! Just stop," he whispered desolately as he stormed passed him and into the sitting area to retrieve his jacket from the couch.

It's too late, worthless coward. Game over.

"Luffy, wait!" Ace began to run after him but only ended up getting his front door slammed shut in his face.

He opened the door again and darted after Luffy who had already reached the end of the hall and was about to step into the elevator.

Ace arrived just in time to see Luffy sink to the floor and break down in more tears as the metal doors slid shut, taking him away from him.

"Luffy!" he called, hitting his right fist against the now shut doors. "Fuck!"

He'd pushed for answers out of insecurity and now, because of a silly misunderstanding he'd only managed to push his beloved Luffy out of his door instead.

It was only a few minutes later, after he'd calmed down that he suddenly remembered something Luffy'd told him when they were still evaluating his sister's venue for their upcoming PR event.

With all the fun the weekend had brought him he hadn't thought about it. Now that their argument had ended prematurely and that his mind was clearer, he realized that Luffy's secrecy was tied to the injuries he had gotten during the night of Thursday to Friday.

And there was maybe a way to find out what had happened that night.

The Bloom Room had a camera surveyed, private parking lot.

To be continued…

In: The nine of Swords – Judgement

-BDP-