101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks
In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die yet another horrible death…and it's going to be one that you're going to enjoy…at least I hope so anyway…
So have fun watching Jar Jar Binks die another gruesome death…
Chapter 61: Chainsaw
Our heroes decided to go to Texas for their next trip after being released by the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization following their massive reunion party…little did they know that Jar Jar and some other members of their group would not be making it out alive…as usual, their vacation would end in disaster.
On the way there, they encountered a hitchhiker, who interestingly enough attacked the Gungan with a razor. Unfortunately, this did not kill him, and he also injured himself in the process. Although Anakin Skywalker and his friends considered letting him into their group dedicated to slay the alien because of this incident, they were ultimately forced to kick him out of their space shuttle after he began attacking them as well.
"What a crazy maniac." stated Anakin Skywalker.
"I wonder why he attacked us?" questioned Padme Amidala.
Afterwards, they decided to visit the local swimming hole, but they instead found a house. Examining it curiously, our heroes became horrified when they realized it was made out of human bones. They tried to run away from the house, but they were immediately spotted by Leatherface.
"That man's wearing human flesh! Run for it!" screamed Obi-Wan Kenobi. Of course, by then he didn't have to tell them to do so.
Leatherface attacked the group with a chainsaw…thankfully, he was clumsy with it and didn't injure anyone…with the exception of Jar Jar Binks.
"Hello dere man with da chainsaw! How are yousa doing today?" Jar Jar Binks asked, right before Leatherface cut off his head with his chainsaw. The cannibal must have enjoyed killing him, because he laughed like a maniac shortly afterwards. It was the best kill of his life…which was really saying something considering he was a mass murderer.
Anakin Skywalker, C-3PO, and R2-D2 managed to escape from the psychopath (C-3PO and R2-D2 did not have flesh, so they were safe from the cannibal family), but Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn weren't nearly as lucky. Not paying attention to where they were going due to the panic of the situation, they were caught by bear traps when they snapped across their legs.
"My leg!" screamed Obi-Wan Kenobi.
"That was my good leg!" screeched Qui-Gon Jinn.
They were caught by Leatherface's family and eaten shortly afterwards. As for Padme Amidala, she ended up being captured and dragged back into the house. After being hit on the head with a shovel, she was tied to a chair, gagged with a filthy sock inside her mouth, and was forced to attend dinner with the cannibals, watching them devour the flesh of her fallen comrades and witness the horror of Leatherface wearing a woman's dress, which suffice to say nearly drove her insane.
Unfortunately for them, she managed to escape and call the authorities, who proceeded to fire a bunch of lead into them, killing every last one of them…except for Leatherface and his brother Chop Top (AKA the hitchhiker they encountered earlier), who for some reason were bulletproof...suffice to say the two of them managed to slay the authorities instead. Lousy occupational hazards…
Padme Amidala grabbed what little remained of Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi and placed them back into the shuttle along with Jar Jar Binks's decapitated body. Anakin Skywalker, R2-D2, and C-3PO were also in the shuttle, and together they managed to escape from the vicious cannibals, causing Leatherface to swing his chainsaw in a rage. He hated it whenever one of his victims escaped…after all, it damaged his reputation as one of the most popular horror icons of all time. Then again, he'll never be as popular as Jason Voorhees…
Afterwards, they resurrected Jar Jar Binks, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Obi-Wan Kenobi so that they could bring them back from the dead in the near future…but you should know that already considering how many times that had happened previously.
"Let's never go to Texas again." Obi-Wan Kenobi suggested.
"I want to stay as far away from that cannibal family as possible." agreed Qui-Gon Jinn.
"How many times have you guys died anyway? It's starting to get repetitive." questioned Anakin Skywalker.
"Hey yousa guys! Look what mesa got!" Jar Jar Binks squealed, holding out the new doll he purchased from a toy store.
Padme Amidala looked at the doll…something seemed wrong with it, but she couldn't tell what.
I bet you can probably tell what's going to be the next killing method…at least you should be able to do so if you've watched a lot of horror movies…
Can you guess who's going to die this time?