101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die in yet another horrific way…which interestingly enough seems to have become a meme as of late…can you guess what it is?

You should probably put two and two together considering the hint I gave you earlier…have you still guessed yet?

Well, I suppose you could just read the chapter title…so why am I even asking you this?

I guess I'm just being silly…now then, let's just watch Jar Jar Binks die already, we're over halfway through the story and I don't want to stop now…

Chapter 64: Headshot

Thanks to a sniper rifle he had rented from the store down the street, Anakin Skywalker was ready to kill Jar Jar Binks once again. Of course, considering how many times he had already slain the little demon, he was rather surprised that the gun shop owner was willing to give him a gun in the first place. But he decided not to question something that he liked, and decided that he should hurry up and kill Jar Jar before anyone spots him trying to murder his arch-enemy.

As it turns out, he was busy dancing to a song he enjoyed by Rick Athley. It was called Never Gonna Give You Up, which interestingly enough most people found annoying.

Taking advantage of the situation, Anakin Skywalker readied his sniper rifle…aiming its precursor at his head. "Hasta la vista, Jar Jar." he thought.

"Weesa r no strangers to love, yousa know da rules and so do mesa, a full commitment's what mesa am thinkin of, yousa wouldn't get dis from any other guy, mesa just wanna tell yousa howa mesa feeling, gotta make yousa understand…" sung Jar Jar Binks.

Unfortunately, the song he was singing was rather distracting, and the jedi was having difficulty focusing. He continued trying to snipe him…

"Hey Anakin Skywalker, how are you doing?" asked Padme Amidala.

Our hero jumped up in surprise. "I'm trying to snipe Jar Jar Binks in the head…try not to interrupt me, will you?"

"Fine…" agreed his girlfriend.

Once more, Anakin Skywalker continued trying to snipe Jar Jar, who was still singing his favorite song. Curiously enough, he recalled that they had once executed him using that particular song…was he getting more resilient or something? If so, they might have a harder time killing him in the future.

"Never ganna give yousa up, never ganna let yousa down, never ganna run around and desert yousa, never ganna make yousa cry, never ganna sayin goodbye, never ganna tell a lie and hurt yousa." continued Jar Jar Binks.

Yet again, he was interrupted.

"Shouldn't you be training, my apprentice?" asked Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Anakin Skywalker placed his hand on his face in frustration. Not again… he thought.

ONCE more, he continued trying to slay Jar Jar Binks, when suddenly C-3PO and R2-D2 came into the room.

"Why do I always get interrupted?" thought Anakin Skywalker.

He began to wonder if he would ever be able to slay Jar Jar Binks that particular day…but he refused to give up, even when he was once again interrupted by Qui-Gon Jinn…as that meant there was no longer anyone left to interrupt him…well aside from Jar Jar Binks, who simply wouldn't stop singing his favorite song.

"Wesa haveve known each other for so long yousa heart's been achin, but yousa are too shy to say it inside, wesa both know what's been goin on weesa know da game, and weesa re ganna playin it and yousa ask mesa howa missa am feeling don't tella mesa yousa are too blind to see…"

"I know how I feel about Jar Jar Binks." thought Anakin Skywalker. And then he struck.

"Ouchies! Mesa arm! Who shot mesa?" wondered the Gungan.

The jedi cursed underneath his breath. He had missed his head because he had moved out of the way.

He tried again, and this time shot him in the chest. "So close…" he thought.

"Ouchies! Mesa chest! Mesa need to visit da hospital!" exclaimed Jar Jar, who began crawling towards the nearest hospital, which was 50 miles away.

Finally, Anakin Skywalker succeeded in his mission, shooting the alien in the head and killing him instantly.

"That took too long." thought our main protagonist. At least the Gungan was no more and that the universe was finally at peace…at least until his next resurrection, which he did as usual using the Book of Resurrection. He began to wonder if he should simply leave him dead and bury him in a cemetery…

Suddenly, one of the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization members came up to him and injected a familiar syringe in his arm, which caused his bloodlust to continue to run rampant through his mind.

"Ow! My arm!" he screamed. He always hating getting shots.

Shortly afterwards, our hero went to the store to look for something else they could use to kill Jar Jar Binks…there were still so many more opportunities…

On the way there, he noticed something in the newspaper…apparently, Chuck Norris was coming to visit…and he suddenly got an idea.

That's right, in the next chapter, Jar Jar Binks will be executed by Chuck Norris…naturally, given how dumb he is, the Gungan will probably try to mess with him…and that will be the last mistake he will ever make…

So, how did you feel about this chapter? How did you feel about Jar Jar Binks singing? How did you feel about Anakin Skywalker sniping him? How did you feel about the constant interruptions? How did you feel about my constant questions?

Anyways…today is my birthday…so feel free to say happy birthday…