101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks
Hey everyone, I've been on vacation…so if you're curious why I haven't updated in a while…well, now you know….
In this chapter, the Gungan will battle Chuck Norris and will die horribly…in fact, so will our main protagonists…of course, you were probably expecting that given what I told you the last chapter…tremble before the ferocious monster and bring some popcorn if you're hungry.
Chapter 65: Chuck Norris
Jar Jar Binks was excited to see Chuck Norris. As it turns out, he had challenged him to a duel on his buddies' suggestion. His friends had persuaded him that he would be fun to fight and that he would defeat him easily. Unfortunately for him, the opposite would ultimately turn out to be true.
"Bring it on, Mr. Chuck Norris!" he squealed, lunging at him swinging his fists. Immediately, the cowboy got ready to battle, cracking his tremendous knuckles. It was time to rumble!
Suffice to say; the fight between him and Chuck Norris was rather short lived…as soon as the referee finished counting down from 10, the beast of a man jumped high into the air (so high in fact, that he reached outer space…but he survived due to the fact that he could breathe in space), crashing down and punching his latest victim so hard that his fist tore right through his stomach, causing his intestines to fall all over the floor. Somebody would have to clean the mess they made later.
"Mesa have bad stomachache." complained Jar Jar Binks. And shortly afterwards, he died. Shortly afterwards, the referee counted down 10 from 1. When he didn't get up (due to being a lifeless corpse that was already decomposing), Chuck Norris was declared the winner. The Gungan was no match for the epicness of the juggernaut…and neither was the entire world…in fact; it exploded into a million pieces simply because he was there….in fact, it was completely vaporized, leaving nothing but dust…
In fact, the entire galaxy was vaporized by the ridiculous power level of Chuck Norris…nobody would be able to count the amount of victims now…because everyone was dead and therefore couldn't exactly count, now could they?
In fact, the entire universe was vaporized and everybody in the universe was vaporized as well…nobody in the universe was alive save for Chuck Norris himself…his very presence was enough to annihilate the universe…
In fact, the entire multiverse was vaporized ….there was absolutely no life, there was only death, with the exception of Chuck Norris, the only being powerful enough to cause such an explosion in this story aside from the author himself…
Unfortunately for him, the author would not allow him to continue killing people in this fanfic because it was getting messy and he was tired of the needless bloodshed and destruction…immediately, he began typing a way to stop Chuck Norris…in fact, he trapped Chuck Norris into a tremendous prison made from the fourth wall, where not even he would be able to free himself (or could he? There seems to be a crack in it…) and used his mighty author powers to bring everybody who was vaporized in the multiversal explosion (including my fans and our main protagonists, since without them I can't exactly continue my story) back to life, including Jar Jar Binks himself, since he is the eponymous character of this story and I want him to die forty-six more times before I call it quits.
"What happened?" wondered Qui-Gon Jinn. "Last thing I remember was Jar Jar Binks getting killed by Chuck Norris…and then the entire planet exploding."
"He should have known better than to mess with Chuck Norris. Not even the entire galactic army could stop him! The entire intergalactic army, I say! Nor could Godzilla…or Cthulhu…or Freddy Krueger…or Jason Voorhees…basically there's nobody that can stop him…aside from the author of this story himself." noted Anakin Skywalker.
"Not even Emperor Palpatine would mess with Chuck Norris, and he's pure evil with no conscience or mercy." agreed Obi-Wan Kenobi. "I wonder why that Gungan ever decided to pick a fight with him?"
"Like I said, he has no brain…in fact, I wonder why he didn't die already sooner…" answered Padme Amidala.
"He already died before! In fact, this is the 65th time he has died! I can't even remember how I killed him the first time…" replied Anakin Skywalker.
"I suggest we get out of here before Chuck Norris kills us all. I somehow get the feeling that he might return and cause us all to become vaporized and therefore die horrible deaths." warned C-3PO.
Oil leaked out of R2-D2. Apparently he was scared out of his mind. He didn't want to die! He just wanted Jar Jar to die! Is that too much to ask for?
Our heroes hopped onboard their space shuttle, and escaped into the galaxy. Of course, Chuck Norris would probably be destroying planets in the near future by charging energy balls of doom that would dig their way into their cores, so even so they weren't safe from his terrible wrath.
But for the moment, they were safe, and they were ready to kill Jar Jar Binks on another day, which naturally would be in the near future.
And so Jar Jar Binks dies a horrible death to his own stupidity…really, who would want to tangle with Chuck Norris? I know I certainly wouldn't…also, the entire multiverse exploded and I had to save all of your butts! You can thank me in the reviews…
In the next chapter, our worst enemy Jar Jar will sell his soul…who you may ask? To none other than….
THE DEVIL!
DUN DUN DUN!