AN: 11th Doctor after The God Complex. An attempt at a different writing style. The italicized lines are quotes from the show.
Rule one. The Doctor Lies.
You're good at it. This lying thing. You lie and manipulate, because there are some things you won't do, some you can't, (some that shouldn't be done either, but sometimes you lie well enough to even convince yourself).
Sometimes you lie to protect others. And sometimes you lie because you don't want them to leave everything's going to be fine, even if they should. Because everyone you touch breaks give me guilt, but you can't stand to be alone (even if you should be).
You've done it before; been alone. Back when you were fond of pinstripes and sneakers and were a little bit foxy. After you lost your best friend to save her life and the woman you (loved? love? will love? Forever). Does it really need saying? You leave The-Girl-Who-Waited and her Centurion to save them from yourself (What do you believe in?) – forget that it is already too late. (Can a car and house replace a daughter?) Even so, it hurts to be alone. The TARDIS is always there, a reassuring hum in the back of your mind, in a place that used to hold so many more people. But it's not enough. You know that. Even she knows, though she tries her best. You're dangerous when you're alone (you're dangerous when your not, but you pretend that doesn't matter—you're getting better at lying to yourself, ignore the guilt just long enough to accumulate more, screw someone else up).
Trust me.
It's a bit of a lie.
If I always told you the truth, I wouldn't need you to trust me.
It is the truth, but you don't tell just how often that trust is founded in lies. How often you don't say what you mean. (Maybe that's why you pick up humans for companions. Their language is so easy to manipulate, so easy to say something and mean something else. A dichotomy.)
You try not to mess things up, it never works (12 months not 12 hours, 12 years instead of 5 minutes). Danger follows you. The universe must hate you (maybe it is penance for the lives you have taken, destroyed, ruined.) You hate yourself too (possibly even more than the universe does). You don't deserve forgiveness (don't really deserve trust either), but you take it, because maybe this time you won't screw it up.
Who are you really? It's a question everyone asks and you no longer have an answer, because time isn't linear and you know there are people you have been, people you will be that terrify you and you can feel the darkness on the edges of your soul and wonder when it will overtake you completely.
Time Lord Victorious, Valeyard, Dream Lord and you wonder which one frightens you most (door number 11, Of course it would be you).
So you pretend everything is fine. It's you're default expression and after 900 years you're very good at lying. You give them a name, I'm the Doctor, a self-proclaimed title for the mad man who stole a box and ran. You can stop an army with this name. The man who makes people better. You don't deserve it (or maybe you do, you aren't even sure what it means anymore).
It means healer on the planet you just abandoned your best friend and her loyal husband. You're not a healer, you're the Destroyer of Worlds, the Oncoming Storm EndingBurningFallingScreamingfire, the murderer of your own people.
You claim the title anyway.