Dylan
Practice was brutal. Apart from the guys acting like something was after them and they had no time left, I was in close proximity to Cecilia a lot and damm if I wasn't turned on.
I know the difference between dancing at parties where you're supposed to react to a hot girl versus dancing professionally where lust goes out the window. Expect I can't do it, I've danced with Cecilia at a club and now I cant dance with her at a practice/competition without, ahem, reacting, down below.
To make it worst with the other girls in the group I can do it, act professionally that is. It's not just the lust, its my heart beating that little bit faster, I'd blame it on the dancing but still.
So now Alicia and Luke's words are spinning around in my head, don't forget the waitress who was so hinting at me and Cecilia as something.
Chemistry. Me and Cecilia.
When something is pointed out to you the more you really see it.
But how can I be falling for Cecilia if I am still in love with Maddy? And I know for a fact that I'm still in love with her, with every thought of her my heart pangs.
I lean up against the window watching the rain fall, new cell phone that Kiara got for me in my hand, yellow pages on my lap. I've found the place in the yellow pages where Maddy is staying. Rodale Psychiatric hospital I've typed the number of it onto my phone but I can't make the call. What am I hoping to accomplish? To see what I've caused.
It's not just her family that hate me; it's my own cousin, we were never on the best of terms but still.
I shook my head. Why should I hurt us both more? I flung the book just as Carlos stepped into the room. He raises an eyebrow at me and picked up the book, it was still on the same page and I had circled the place in red. "No don't" I shout, jumping to my feet.
It was too late.
"What's this about?" He aska.
"Nothing"
"Is it for some project?"
"Yeah" I grasp at the straw.
"Liar, you're trying to contact Maddy Emerson aren't you?. Your not allowed too"
A cold lace gripped my heart. "How do you know about that?"
Carlos came to sit next to me. "It's in your file Dylan" He says softly.
"Why is it?"
"It's best if you read it, hang on"
Carlos was back in a few minutes with it, I felt his eyes on me as I read it. It didn't just mention the drugs, it mentioned everything including Maddy.
"It wasn't your fault" He tells me after I put the file down.
"Not entirely but mostly yeah it was"
"Dylan, it really wasn't, you fell in love how was you supposed to know what that love would do to her, she was ill Dylan you weren't to know you were going to make it worst"
"But I did" Sobs raked my body and I felt Carlos arms go around me. I didn't care that I was crying in front of Carlos. It was comfort and that was all I needed.