Chapter 7

Stephanie felt so relieved to finally be home. She closed the door behind her after checking in on Jake and Chloe, both of whom were fast asleep in the nursery. As she walked into Ellie's room to look in on her, she smiled as she saw that her husband was lying fast asleep beside her. Paul's arm was wrapped around her small body while Ellie's fingers were tangled up in his hair. Stephanie sighed as she sat down on the bed and smoothed back her daughter's hair watching them sleep. God knows tonight could have ended up so differently had it been her little girl who had ran out in front of that car. And it had happened so quickly too. According to Mark one minute Jamie had been running around in the garden playing. The next she was lying face down on the road where the driver had appeared from around the corner. Not that it had been his fault. According to him and another neighbour, the little girl had shot out from nowhere in front of the car. All it had taken was one split second. One split second where an innocent life had been taken. The thing that spooked her even more was that life could have so easily been her daughter's.

Stephanie felt an icy chill down her spine as she tried her hardest not to dwell on that thought. It had been painful enough watching someone else deal with losing their child. Mark was understandably a wreck and Stephanie had been reluctant to leave him tonight but he had insisted and had assured her he was going to try and get some rest. Stephanie had come home with the intention of trying to do the same. Tonight had been tough to deal with and she felt both emotionally and physically drained.

Sighing softly, she kissed Ellie's cheek tenderly relishing the feel of her warm soft skin before walking round to Paul and untangling their daughter's fingers from his hair. She felt guilty about wanting to waken him but she needed him so much. She didn't want to be alone right now and the only place she wanted to be was in her husband's arms. Stephanie began to shake him gently and whispered in his ear. "Paul? Baby, wake up."

After a few more hard shakes, she heard him groan as he rolled over onto his back. She shook him once again and watched his eyelids flutter before they finally opened.

"Steph?" he said acknowledging her, his voice thick with sleep. He licked his lips to wet them as he blinked heavily. "Hey. Is everything okay?"

She nodded her head and smiled gently as her hand reached out to him. "I just need you to come to bed."

Paul smiled back as his big hand rubbed at his left eye. He slowly manoeuvred his body getting up from the bed and taking great care not to disturb Ellie. He fixed the covers around her small body before kissing her cheek softly and following Stephanie to the bedroom. Closing the door behind him, he walked across to his wife who was standing at the end of the bed. Her big eyes were heavy and bloodshot and she looked absolutely exhausted. Paul instinctively wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly dropping a kiss on the top of her head. He had been so worried about Stephanie and he wasn't surprised when he felt her body start to shake with her sobs. He gripped her that little bit tighter as he let her cry. God knows what she'd had to deal with tonight and knowing his wife, she'd have tried her best to stay strong for Mark's sake. She wouldn't let her own emotions intrude on his grief. Paul rubbed her back soothingly until eventually some moments passed and he felt her sobs subside. He kissed her hair once more and felt her sigh softly into him.

"God, it was horrible Paul."

As she turned her face up towards him, his thumb reached up to wipe at her wet cheek.

"When they told Mark about Jamie, he just broke down and I couldn't do anything to help him. All I could do was tell him I was so sorry and hold him while he cried." Stephanie's voice waivered and she pressed her lips together, taking a second to gather her composure as Paul's big hand rubbed her back soothingly. "God, all I could think about while I was in that hospital was Jamie lying on that road and how grateful I was that it wasn't Ellie." she told him. "That it wasn't our baby girl that had been taken from us. Then of course I'd feel guilty for even thinking that way what with everything that Mark was going through…."

As a solitary tear trickled down her cheek, Paul's fingers ran through Stephanie's hair before he pulled her head gently towards his chest once more.

"Hey, you can't blame yourself for thinking that way." he told her softly. "And the exact same thoughts have been going through my head too. It's only natural to feel that way, Steph and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Plus I'm sure Mark would understand." He pressed his lips gently to her forehead and rubbed her left arm affectionately. "Come on, let's get you to bed. You need to try and get some sleep. You look done in."

Stephanie didn't protest as Paul slid out from their embrace causing her to shiver slightly despite the heat in the room. She quickly got undressed leaving her clothes on the floor at the side of the bed. As she got under the covers, the room went dark. Paul had switched out the light and she could feel his warm breath on her face as he lay next to her. She reached out for him, her hand pulling him closer as her mouth searched for his. Her fingers tangled in his soft blonde strands as she kissed him, her tongue searching for his and sliding over it gently. Everything just slipped away as she lost herself in their embrace. Paul's mouth moved over hers hungrily tasting her and tempting her. He felt so good and this was exactly what she needed right now. Paul always made things feel better. His low growl echoed in the silent room as her nails scraped over his shoulder blade. Stephanie suddenly felt an urgent need to be as close to her husband as humanly possible and she wrapped her leg around him, pulling their bodies closer together in the centre of the bed. She let out a moan as Paul dropped his head to her neck and her swollen lips prickled with the loss of his kiss. His mouth tasted her skin as the wet trail of his tongue made her skin tingle. She could feel her desire for him pool in her stomach as his hardness pressed against the top of her thigh, teasing her. God, she wanted him so much. She needed him. Stephanie's hands roamed across his soft firm skin and her body tingled with anticipation as he turned his attention to her breasts. She began to grind her body against him as his teeth gently pinched at her nipple. She could feel her desire for him build as his lips caressed her flesh. Unable to wait any longer, she rolled him onto his back and her eyes flashed black with her need for him as Paul helped guide her hips and entered her. Stephanie let out a satisfied moan and threw her head back as she felt herself get lost in Paul forgetting everything else and just concentrating on that moment. Everything else faded away. It was just her and Paul. It was everything she needed.

Stephanie jumped up startled from sleep when she heard the scream. She immediately threw back the covers and grabbed her robe. While she slid her arms through the sleeves, she noticed Paul sitting up in bed, his confused face visible in the moonlight.

"Steph, what's wrong?" he asked.

"I heard Ellie scream. I need to go and check on her."

Stephanie's face was crumpled with concern as she marched along the hallway to her daughter's bedroom. Her concern was only intensified when she heard Jake start to cry too and glancing between the two doors, she felt relieved when she heard Paul's voice behind her.

"You go check on Ellie. I'll get Jake."

Stephanie turned to him smiling gratefully before scurrying along the hallway to her daughter's room. As she opened the door, she immediately heard Ellie's sobs from underneath the covers. She pulled them back and scooped her daughter up in her arms rocking her as she held her.

"Ellie sweetheart, what's wrong?"

She heard Ellie sniff loudly as she tried to calm herself down. Her shaky breaths filled the room. When she looked up, Stephanie felt her heart break as she saw her red puffy eyes. She wiped the tears from her daughter's cheeks.

"Tell me what's wrong, sweetie. Was it a bad dream?"

Ellie nodded and her voice was frightened as she finally managed to speak. "I saw Jamie Mommy. She was bleeding."

As a tear rolled down her cheek, Stephanie pulled Ellie closely to her and kissed the top of her head, hushing her and trying her best to calm her down. "It's okay baby. Mommy's here. It's okay."

"But is Jamie alright Mommy? Did the doctors make her better?"

Stephanie found she didn't know how to answer that question. The words stuck in the back of her throat as she stood there silently hugging her daughter stalling over whether or not to tell her the truth. This would be the first time that Ellie would have to deal with death and she wasn't entirely sure how to play it. Deep down, she knew she should be honest with her daughter. Ellie was a smart kid but it was hard especially when all her motherly instincts were desperate to protect her. She sighed heavily and felt her curly head lift from her shoulder. As she looked at her daughter, she saw Ellie's hazel eyes watching her intently, patiently waiting for her answer. She knew she couldn't put it off any longer. She had to find a way to break it to her gently but unfortunately break her heart in the process. She sat down on the bed holding her daughter to her as she cradled her in her arms. "I'm sorry sweetheart. Jamie was so sick the doctors couldn't help her."

Ellie's bottom lip quivered as her eyes filled with tears. "Won't I get to see Jamie again, Mommy?"

Stephanie shook her head, her own tears springing to her eyes hating seeing her daughter in such pain and hating the fact that an innocent child had died tonight. "I'm afraid not sweetie. See Jamie's in heaven with the angels now."

"But I don't want Jamie to be with the angels. I want her to be here so she can play with me. I like playing with Jamie."

Ellie let out a choked sob and Stephanie held her tightly, her own tears spilling down her cheeks. It was killing her to see her daughter hurting so much. She rocked Ellie back and forward as she continued to sob and failed to notice Paul until he was standing in front of them. She saw the emotion in his expressive brown eyes as he focused on Ellie. It would be tearing him up inside seeing her like this. He hated seeing any member of his family upset especially his children. Paul was always so protective both as a husband and a father. He knelt down at the side of the bed and placed one hand on Stephanie's leg, the other rubbing Ellie's back soothingly.

"Is she upset about Jamie?" he asked his wife.

Stephanie nodded and sniffed. "She had a bad dream and asked me about her. I had to tell her the truth Paul."

Paul heard the anguish in her voice and reached up to wipe the tears from her face. He knew how hard it would have been for Stephanie to have told her daughter about Jamie and if anything, he loved her even more for doing it.

"I know you did and you did the right thing. She needed to know Steph."

Ellie lifted her head at the sound of her father's voice and turned round to face him. Paul's heart shattered inside as she sniffed and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"Jamie's in heaven, Daddy."

Paul nodded his head solemnly as his big hand raked through her curls tenderly. "I know she is sweetie and I know it's very sad. But the way I see it, at least if Jamie's in heaven, she's not hurting any more."

Ellie sniffed again as she looked at her father pondering over what he had just told her. "So did the angels make her better?"

Paul nodded his head. "Yes they did and they'll help God look after her. Jamie was a special little girl and they'll take real good care of her. I promise you."

Ellie chewed on her lip for a second as she thought about that. She let out a sigh when she eventually looked back up at him. "I wish she was still here though. I liked playing with her."

Paul smiled as he touched her cheek and rubbed her soft skin. "I know you did and she liked playing with you too. You guys had lots of fun together."

"Jamie made me laugh Daddy."

"Well that's a good way to remember her. Maybe when you think about her you can smile or even laugh. It's okay to do that, you know."

Ellie looked anxiously between her parents. "It is?"

Stephanie nodded and smiled. "Jamie wouldn't want you to be sad all the time."

"Mommy's right, Ellie. It's okay to be sad or happy when you think of her."

Ellie's lips curled into a small smile. "I feel better now Daddy."

"I'm so glad sweetheart." he told her as he kissed her forehead, his heart feeling a little less broken now her tears had stopped. Just then Ellie gave a loud yawn.

"I'm feel sleepy again Mommy."

"Then why don't you try to go back to sleep again?"

Paul stood up as Stephanie laid Ellie down on the bed. She pulled the covers over her and kissed her.

"You just call me if you need me, okay?"

Ellie nodded her head as she snuggled into her pillow. Paul smiled as he tucked her teddy bear in beside her and kissed her cheek.

"Mr Bear will look after you now."

The little girl smiled and closed her eyes. Paul wrapped his arm around Stephanie as they stood for a minute, watching over her until she fell asleep. Before long, her breathing had evened out and they knew she had fallen back over. They quietly left the room leaving the door slightly ajar so they could hear her if she called them.

"Was Jake okay?"

Paul nodded. "Yeah. I just rubbed his back and within seconds, he was out like a light again. Fortunately, he didn't waken Chloe."

Stephanie offered him a small smile as they walked into the bedroom. She let out soft sigh as she crawled back into bed. Paul lay down next to her and turning to her, he began stroking her weary face with his hand. "God Paul, it was horrible seeing Ellie so upset. I hated having to tell her about Jamie."

"I know and I know it was hard for you but you did the right thing. We can't protect them forever, Steph. I really wish we could but we can't."

"I know but it doesn't make it any easier." she sighed.

Paul kissed her forehead as he pulled her into his arms. "I'm kind of glad we're going to see Mom and Dad this weekend. It will maybe help Ellie take her mind off what's happened for a couple of days."

Stephanie nodded her head as she nestled against her husband's chest. She could make out the faint trace of his heartbeat and it soothed her a little. Snuggling into him that little bit closer, Stephanie knew Paul was probably right. It would no doubt do them all the world of good to get away for a little bit. Ellie loved her grandparents and would be thrilled to see them. Even now she could picture the happy grin on her face she would have when she saw them and that grin was all she wanted to see. Anything to take away the pain she saw tonight. Stephanie would do whatever it took to stop her daughter from hurting so much. Her family was all that mattered to her. They were everything.