It was 8 o'clock in the morning and there I was, awake. My eyes were heavy with sleep but yet open with excitement. Jere was laying beside me, snoring, looking adorable. He always looked like a little boy when he slept.

I felt the smile creep up from my lips to my eyes and couldn't help but pinch him in the arm. He snorted loudly and opened his eyes, unseeingly. „Good morning, love."

„Good morning." I snuggled closer to him and gave him a kiss, feeling the warmth of his body on my skin. It felt good. Right.

I found myself watching him, listening to his breathing, focusing on our touching fingers. Everything was perfect, yet I yearned for more time to spend it like this. „What time is it?" he asked after a while of silence. I was so caught up in his scent that I winced when he spoke. „Eight." I responded.

He groaned, but then sat up rather fast, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. „More time to spend with you." He then said, smiling awry. And then, before I could stop myself, I flung myself into his arms, drew in a deep breathfull of his aroma, and whispered, „I love you."

And Jeremiah Fisher, handsome as ever, grabbed my chin with his fingers and forced me to look into his eyes, those beautiful unresistable eyes, responding „I love you too, wifey."

And I flung out of my bed, panting, looking for halt as I stumbled across the room when I finally sank to my knees and stared blankly at the wall, which, somewhat, stared blankly back. I rubbed my eyes just like Jeremiah had done a few moments ago in my dream, and noticed they were wet with tears and sleep. The summerhouse was very still. I wrapped my arms around my legs and closed my eyes, sobbing. Justabaddream,I told myself.

But only that it had not been that bad at all. And that was the frightening part about it. Here I sat, on the floor of my favorite room in my favorite house in my favorite place of the whole world, with my favorite two boys just across the corridor, so utterly and incredibly sad and confused, my fingers streching out, yearning for both. Was that possible? Maybe it was just temporarily. Mabe the knowledge of Jeremiah still liking me made me a little unsteady, made me remember the way he had been around me when we had been together. He would have never acted the way Conrad had done the night before. Never. Jeremiah was much too empathic, too caring to put me in such a uneasy situation. He had loved me in such way that nobody had ever done before, unconditionally and in an irresistible way. I missed that. I missed waking up in the morning and knowing there was a whole new day ahead of you, full of cute surprises, one sweeter than the other. I missed being the spontaneous Belly I had been with him. Jere was so varied and simple, liking him was like breathing- easy. I had been able to talk to him for hours, effortlessly. He would always understand my problems, but he would make me laugh and think of other, more happier things. I loved that about him. I loved how, whenever I had been with him, the whole world and all of its shitloads of problems were just gone for a few moments- forgotten. There was just him and me, and our light- hearted conversations.

And then there was Con. MyCon, beautiful and grown up, serious and charming. He was like I had always remembered him, a little quiet and thoughtful and protectice. When I was with him, I felt like that, too. I felt older, maturer. I felt myself growing whenever I spent time with him. His presence still lingered in every corner of my body, and his kisses still gave me chills. He was good for me. He made be a better person, someone I would have never thought I could be. Now, with him near me, I felt ready for whatever it was that future would bring us. I felt like, someday, I could me a mother. And our marriage, our togetherness made me happy. But, sometimes, I catched myself wondering how it would be if I were married to someone else. Not that I wanted that, because I didn't. But I wondered whether I would be cruising through the oceans or playing paintball or riding camels in Egypt if Jeremiah were the Fisherboy by my side. Things like that, stupid and pointless and irrelevant- they just didn't seem like thing I could do with Conrad. Those were Jeremiahthings,stuff we had planned ages ago. But those things wouldn't happen now. I sobbed louder. And then, as quickly as I had started, I stopped. This had to stop. I got up, determined to get dressed and go downstairs to face my husband and his brother. We had to talk about last night.

When I reached the end of the stairs, with Conrad sipping his coffee and Jeremiah nowhere in sight, my plan evaporated. Hesitantly I went for the fridge, grabbing cereal and a bottle of milk and spilling both into a bowl. I then got a spoon from the drawer and placed my breakfast on the counter, next to Conrad. He had watched me all this time without a word. „Good morning." My voice sounded shaky and weak. I opened my arms to hug him, but then let them flap back at my sides. He just looked at me, silent, and when he finally spoke up I heard the bitter undertone in his voice. „Jeremiah left."

My head was empty. „Oh," I managed to say.

„I don't know where he is. He left his phone here, and his car is gone. I think he might be somewhere at the beach."

„Con, look-"

„-Don't, Isabel." I saw his jaw clench the way it had done the night before, and I stood there, swallowing hard. „I don't know if he will come back. He... has a lot on his mind. But, If it makes you feel better, I can go and look-"

„If it makes mefeel better?" I blinked. „Con, he's your brother. He's missing!" I threw my arms into the air, desperate.

„He's not bloody missing! He's a grown man, he can take care for himself-"

„So what's the question?"

Conrad grew silent. He looked down at his hands and only now did I realise how concerned he was. I summoned up my courage and put them into mine. „Listen, Con. I...I know you feel bad." I took a deep breath, struggeling with the choice of words. „Just apologize and it will be fine, okay? I promise..."

„I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He murmured, pulling his fingers out of mine and banging his fist on the counter. „It's not enough!"

„Of course it is-"

„It's not enough, for god's sake! I can't keep doing this to you!"

„Do what, Con?" I was scared now. He was about to cry. „Con, it's okay. Listen to me...it will be fine... Jere will me fine... I- I love you..."

And then he looked at me with those beautiful eyes, and my voice broke. He kissed me. I kissed him back. And everything was perfect. Me and Con was all that mattered. I felt his longing, his regret, I heard his apologies inbetween kisses, I felt them at my neck, at my shoulders, at my cheeks. I felt his breaths and his heartbeats, and all there was was Conrad Fisher, my beloved husband, and me, Jeremiah Fishers kiss from my dream still lingering on my lips.