At the end, Conrad left to find his brother. He said that he had to talk to him- that they had to discuss a few things. He said that Jere was an adult and not in any way endangered, that he wasn't far away, he'd know that much. When I offered to come with him, he just shook his head. „No, this has nothing to do with you. I think it's better if I talk to him alone." And, although it had pretty much everything to do with me, he was right; this was something both of them needed to go through alone. I stayed at the summer house and cleaned up. I was so deep in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed I was doing any work, and when I was finished, I was happy I had done it. The kitchen seemed much bigger and cleaner now. I then went for a swim. The water was pretty cold, colder than I remembered it, but the shock was refreshing. I was so fixated on kicking my legs and arms, that I forgot all of the drama and the mixed feelings inside of me. When I returned to the house, I felt a little guilty for trying to push all of the confusing feelings away from me, further down. It seemed unfair for both Con and Jere- but just questioningmy marriage and my feelings towards my husband made my face burn with shame. I was betraying them both. I was betraying my two favorite boys in the whole world. They didn't deserve this. Neither one of them did.

I wondered if Con had found his brother by now- and if so, what they were saying. I knew what they were talking about, the thought made me uncomftable, but I wondered what words they were using. If they were shouting or whispering. And, most of all, I wanted to know what Jere said in response. If he admitted his feelings for me. If he'd deny them.

I promised myself to ask Conrad later, but then rejected the idea. It seemed stupid. The last thing I needed was him to think that I cared. Which, I told myself, I didn't.

I braided my wet hair and twirled them into a bun. It was a hairstyle I used to wear a lot when I was a small child, and it seemed fitting. I felt anything but grown-up. Just when I let go of my hair, my cellphone rang and I picked it up, eagerly.

„Hello?"

„Belly!" It was Taylor's voice. She sounded excited. I exhaled loudly. I had hoped for Con, but now that I thought about it hearing the voice of my best friends felt really releaving. Like I hadn't seen her in ages.

„Taylor, sweetie! How are you?"

„Uh-maze-ing." I could literally seeher her biting her nails excitedly, waiting for my response. She'd spill in a matter of seconds. I decided to pretend like I didn't necessarily wanted to know. That always worked.

„That's great, Taylor. Um- I've been good to. So, when should we meet?"

„That's great." She repeated, impatient. „Belly, let's talk about meeting later. Don't you want to know why I'm so happy?"

„Oh," I said innocently, a huge grin appearing on my face. Now I just had to talk about me and it would drive her nuts. She hated to talk about anything but herself. Except if it included the newest gossip, boys, sex or parties. „God, I'm sohappy too, Tay-Tay! I've just been swimming and it was amazing- I was scared I had unlearned it, you know, since I haven't been here in, like, forever. But guess what!" I clapped my hands together, holding the phone between cheekbone and shoulder. „I still swim like a fish!"

„Amazing." My best friend said, with no hint of interest whatsoever. I imagined her rolling her eyes. „Wait- you're in Cousins?"

„Aye,"

Taylor gave a small shriek. „Well, that's uh-maze-ing, Belly!"

„Please stop saying amazing like that."

„Like what?"

„Like it's three words. It makes me want to strangle you." I sat down on the couch and zapped through the television programs. None of them held my interest.

„Fine. Your nerves are killing me. Anyways-" she took a deep breath. „Well, what I'm willing to tell you since like, three hours is that Jeremiah asked me out. He asked if I'd want to go to the summerhouse with him. Said he misses spending time with me."

Silence.

„Dude! I know! I was speechless too."

And I was speechless. My eyes bore into the wall infront of me, and I heard myself ask: „He asked you out?"

„Well, indirectly. He didn't like say willyougooutwithme,but he said we had lots of fun times together and that he wanted to start to have more contact again. I mean, we were a couple, after all."

I wasn't too sure if I'd call their thing they had once had going on a relationship, but I agreed anyway. But I was shocked. Taylor? Really? I remembered they used to have crushes on each other, I remembered the talks my best friend and me had once had about the boys. Long, passionate talks. But ever since they had broken up, Jere never mentioned her again. Not really, anyway. He sometimes told me to say hi, but I didn't know they were in contact at all. And I had had a pretty clear impression of him being over her. So why now, suddenly? I would have found it normal a few years back, when we were just average teenage girls admiring the older boys. But not now. Not after I had nearly married Jeremiah. Not after I was the wife of Conrad. We weren't stupid teenage girls anymore, and these weren't stupid crushes.

„How long are you guys staying, Bells?" Taylor was talking fast, but her voice still sounded melodious.

„Until sunday evening," I croaked.

„Oh my god, I could, like, totally join, right? That would be so uh-maze-"

„-why don't you call Jeremiah, Taylor?" I interrupted, both irritated and angry at the same time. „I bet he wants you to come, as you both probably have so much to catch up on. Seeya then." And I hung up. To be extra sure that she wouldn't call back, I turned my cellphone off und flunged it on the coach opposite from the one I was sitting on. With an annoyed groan, I burried my head into the pillows and waited.

What had just happened? I had been sure that Jere was falling for me again- or, quite frankly, he might have never gotten over me entirely- but now I had no idea. Why had I thought that, anyways? It didn't feel like he liked me. But from the way he had reacted the night before, when Con had accused him, I had started to believe that thought. Now only did I notice the disapointment that clouded my mind, followed by a wave of quilt. How could I have been so stupid? So blind? Jeremiah Fisher was over me since I had broken off our marriage-justifiably. He liked Taylor, my best friend. And, the worst, I would most probably see them happy together within the next twenty-four hours.