"Belly? Are you coming?"

I looked over to my best friend who leaned against the doorway, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

It was weird to see her stand there, all grown up. I hadn't realized how old she had gotten until now; the

golden locks that gently fell upon her dainty shoulders framed her tender features, making me wonder

if she had become a stranger to me. A weird thought considering how well we knew each other.

But there are moments in life that one can not explain, moments when things or people you've never

questioned before and that have always seemed to be there suddenly look different- and you can't

figure out whether this change happened recently or if it's just the first time you have seen it.

Taylor let the chewing gum snap between her white teeth while she was waiting for my response. I told

her I'd be there in a second and she went outside to meet the guys who were carrying our bags and

supplies to the cars.

So this was it, the dreaded goodbye. And even though I had said goodbye to this place what felt like

a million times throughout my life, this time it felt different. It wasn't the see you next summer sort

of goodbye I used to whisper to myself all throughout my childhood years. It was somewhat definite.

It felt like I was leaving Cousins all over again, including everything that it so heavily

incorporated. I closed my eyes and tried to memorize this moment;

I concentrated on the smell, this familiar summerhouse smell that I immediately associated with every

single memory that had happened within these walls;

I listened to the sound, that very distinct Cousins sound that I would be able to recognize everywhere;

and lastly I opened my mouth to taste the air on my tongue- it tasted like salt and seashells and broken

promises, like love and hate and friendship all at the same time; hesitantly, I opened my eyes and

stepped outside onto the porch. Taylor and Jere were engaged in an exciting conversation, throwing

their hands into the air and talking exhilarated, while Con was busy loading the last couple of things

into the trunk. He then hit the door shut, swearing under his breath. "Are you alright?" I asked, once I

reached his car and leaned against it. He nodded, wiping the sweat off his forehead. "This damn car won't fit a thing," he moaned and clapped his brother on the back. "Jere, we're off."

Jeremiah turned around to face us. He looked very tired and hadn't shaved that morning; his chin was

covered in little stubbles. "I'll miss you, man" he said to Con, and they hugged, pounding each other on

the back as they spoke. "Thanks for coming" Conrad said, pinching his younger brother in the cheek.

And then they lowered their voices and said something, exchanging a range of rather serious looks and

words, which both Tay and I couldn't understand. And when Tay and Con hugged laughingly, Jere came

to me and gave me this really special Jeremiah look in which he strongly resembled his father. Trying

to be dramatic, he raised one eyebrow rather semi seriously and looked down at me. "We should do this

again sometime," he said.

"Yeah," I answered lamely, because there wasn't really anything else that I could say. Silence.

And while Taylor and Conrad were having some sort of small talk, me and Jere just turned to the

summerhouse and looked at it. I wondered if he was thinking the same things, remembering the same

memories as I was. After a few moments of quietness, I said: "We're not coming back, are we?"

Jere looked at me in surprise. "What makes you think that?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "I just have this feeling. It doesn't feel right to leave Cousins. It doesn't feel

like it used to. Nothing feels like it used to."

After a moment of hesitation, he replied: "Things change."

"Sometimes I wish they wouldn't."

"What makes you so sure?"

I didn't know what he meant by that, and just when I wanted to ask him, he added: "I mean, change

isn't necessarily bad. We're still here. We kept the summerhouse, right? We didn't sell it. It's

still right here, in our possession. And you're still here, right next to us. We're all here."

"Except Susannah." I whispered.

"You're wrong, Belly" he said, this time looking directly into my eyes. "She's everywhere. She lingers

in every single corner of this house. She's always with us."

Tiny water drops had started to fall from the sky, splattering onto the ground and surrounding us. It was

like Cousins was crying with us, wishing us good-bye, and I couldn't help but cry with it. I felt so

childish but I couldn't stop myself.

"But what would she say if she'd see us like this?" I sobbed, looking up at the thick layer of clouds.

"What would she say if she'd see that we've grown apart? That we're never here anymore?" I couldn't

hold back anymore, but the growing pattering and roaring thunders drowned my voice. Tay and Con

were running to the Veranda, their hands protectively over their heads. And despite of the acute rainfall,

Jere smiled at me. None of us made intentions of moving.

"We're not growing apart," he said softly. "We're growing up; there's nothing wrong with that. But

we're still friends and we're still here. If you ask me," I held my breath and forced the soaking fringe

that stuck to my forehead out of my face, "she would be incredibly proud of us."

And with these words, he took my hand and we ran towards the others, with me screaming and

laughing hysterically, the cold summer rain pattering onto our backs.

Once we reached the porch, Conrad seized me into the air and swirled me around, and I don't

think I had ever felt so free and happy in my life. When he stopped he was still holding me, and our

eyes locked like they had done so many times before. All of my feelings for him, - exuberant,

indescribable feelings,- I could identify in his own eyes. I came closer to his face, the face that I knew

better than any other, and touched his lips gently with mine. He returned the kiss, but a lot slower and

more passionate this time. Jere was right, nothing had really changed. Conrad was still Conrad and I

was still Belly. And because of that, my love for him was practically inevitable. It was one of those

things that had always been there, ever since you could remember. And because of that, we were still

here, Belly and Conrad, Conrad and Belly, at Cousins. And for some reason that I still didn't

comprehend Conrad Fisher, my love, my soulmate, my husband, had chosen to be with me. And that

thought summoned little jackhammers upon my rapidly beating heart.