Chapter 16

As Stephanie absently pushed her dinner around her plate, her mind was preoccupied with a hundred and one things, mainly trying to guess what the hell had crawled up her husband's ass tonight. To say he was pissed off was an understatement and Paul had barely said two words to her since she had arrived home this evening. And okay, she knew she had been much later than he would have expected. Jake had been dropped off hours before and Ellie had been home, finished her homework and created a crayon masterpiece by the time she had gotten back. She had even apologised profusely for her tardiness but her apologies had fallen on deaf ears and now Paul even refused to look at her as he sat across from her at the other end of the dinner table. He hadn't even touched his meal and instead he spoon fed it to Jake who seemed to be thoroughly enjoying it by all accounts. Her son's contented giggles echoed around the big silent kitchen. It gave her little comfort to know that at least someone was happy around her home.

As Stephanie sighed softly and glanced to her left, she saw Ellie's hazel eyes watching her intently. Her daughter had been quieter than usual too and could probably sense the tension in the room. Usually the table was filled with laughter and random chatter. It was usually one of her favourite times of the day. Having her family all together around the table was important to her and it was very rarely they ate in silence like this. Stephanie offered her daughter a smile in an attempt to try and reassure her. But Ellie didn't smile back. Instead she pushed her plate away and sighed heavily.

"Mommy, can I be 'scus-ed?"

Stephanie smiled, amused at her slip-up. "You mean excused?"

Ellie nodded. "Can I? I want to watch Dora."

She nodded her consent and her blue eyes followed Ellie as she left the room. Sighing once more, Stephanie realised she had lost her appetite too and picked up their plates and carried them over to the dishwasher. As she scraped the food from them and stacked them in the machine, she noticed Paul smile at Jake before lifting him up out of his seat. However, his smile soon disappeared as he looked in her direction. His eyes refused to meet Stephanie's as he bounced his son in his arms.

"I'm taking him for his bath."

Stephanie nodded absently. She felt like crying as she watched her husband leave the room. Instead she stared after him confused and upset. This tension between them was the last thing she needed today. It had been bad enough dealing with Jamie's funeral. It had been so heartbreaking and it was one of the most horrible experiences of her life; one she prayed never got to experience again. That's why on the way home she had been looking forward to taking her mind off today by spending time with her family, especially Paul. He always managed to cheer her up and take her mind off things no matter what and she had needed that tonight. God knows she needed to forget everything that had happened over the last few days. Instead, there was nothing but silence; a silence that would end quickly if she had her way. Shaking her head determinedly, Stephanie rolled up her sleeves as she walked across to finish clearing the table. She wasn't letting Paul away with this one. No way. When the kids were in bed, she was having it out with him. He was going to tell her what was bugging him whether he liked it or not.

Paul closed the book and smiled at Ellie who was still wide awake. Her face looked serious as she fidgeted with her bed covers. He playfully nudged her to get her attention.

"What's up sweetie? Didn't you like Snow White?"

Ellie sighed and as she looked up at her father, he saw the sad expression on her face.

"Daddy, are you mad at Mommy?" she asked.

Paul sighed and ruffled her hair. He knew Ellie was smart – too smart for her own good sometimes – and he knew she had guessed something was up tonight. She had been so quiet and he knew the tension at dinner had been entirely his fault. But he couldn't help it. He was so fucking mad at Stephanie right now and the minute he had seen her walk through the door, he knew there was no way he could disguise it. His wife knew him far too well but he would never start an argument in front of the children so instead of having it out with her about Mark, he had ignored her instead. It may have been childish but it was the only thing he could do in the circumstances.

Shifting on the bed, he lifted his knee and rested his foot on the bed. "I'm a little mad, yeah." he eventually admitted to his daughter. He saw her frown and he patted her hand to reassure her. "But it's nothing for you to worry about, okay?"

Ellie's hazel eyes were big and wide as they looked in Paul's direction.

"But I don't like it when you're mad with Mommy. It makes her sad."

Paul smiled and shuffling his body around, he lifted her up to sit her on his knee. He placed his finger under her chin tucking it affectionately. "I'll let you in on a little secret, shall I?"

Ellie nodded eagerly.

"See the truth is Daddy can never stay mad at Mommy for long. It makes me feel sad too."

"So when I wake up in the morning, will you not be mad any more?"

Paul shook his head as he tapped her nose with his finger. "No. I won't be mad. I promise."

Ellie grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him. Paul rubbed her back as he held her close to him, breathing her in. He just prayed that come morning time, he would have told his daughter the truth and he would be a lot calmer about the whole situation. He wasn't in the habit of breaking promises to his little girl and he didn't want to start now. Although as his stomach twisted anxiously, he had a feeling it just might not be that easy.

Stephanie had heard Paul come downstairs about fifteen minutes ago after putting the kids to bed but she had deliberately stayed in the kitchen trying to stay out of his way. She wanted to talk to him but she knew that when he was angry, Paul wasn't the most rational person in the world. However, it was driving her crazy not knowing what the hell this was about. So she had decided to bite the bullet and confront him. She couldn't take the silent treatment any longer and quite frankly it was bordering on ridiculous.

As Stephanie walked into the living room, she saw Paul was sitting on the couch watching television. But judging by the make-over programme that was on, he wasn't paying any attention to it. Paul never watched make-overs and constantly teased her whenever she allowed herself the pleasure. Stephanie cautiously approached him and stood in front of him with her hands in her black trouser pockets.

"Paul, we need to talk." she announced to him.

"Yeah? Well pity you didn't feel the need to talk to me before."

Paul refused to look at her as he started to switch over the channels. Frustrated, Stephanie grabbed the remote from his hand and threw it down on the floor. He snarled and turned round. For the first time that night, he looked her straight in the eye and Stephanie could see the rage that burned black in his stormy brown eyes. His fists were clenched as he stood up to face her and she stared at him shocked and confused.

"Paul, please tell me what's going on. I can't fix it if you won't even talk to me."

"Fix it? You want to fucking fix it?"

Despite feeling intimidated by his anger, Stephanie nodded her head meekly.

Paul laughed sarcastically before suddenly stopping and as he looked her dead in the eye, she saw the disgust written all across his face. "Then don't treat me like a total fucking fool, Stephanie."

Stephanie's blue eyes widened in disbelief and she felt her own anger bubble to the surface. "How am I treating you like a fool, Paul? Okay, I was late getting back tonight but you knew where I was. If it bothered you that much, you could have come and got me. After all, you were the one that left me there in the first place."

Paul snorted in anger as he pushed his hair back from his face. "I left you there because you were too busy having a cosy chat in the garden STEPHIE. That is what he calls you, isn't it?"

Stephanie's stomach dropped as she heard Paul's acerbic tone. She had never seen him this angry before. And she wasn't naïve enough to believe that it was over a stupid name. She felt herself start to panic as she recalled her conversation with Mark in the garden. They somehow ended up talking about the kiss. Paul couldn't have overheard them, could he? Surely it wasn't possible. Or maybe it was. She didn't have to wait long for an answer. She swallowed hard as Paul began to pace up and down in front of her and her face instantly fell as she heard the words come out his mouth.

"Tell me, did he call you that before or after he kissed you?"

She clasped her hands together as they began to shake and was unable to stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. Her head shook in shocked disbelief. "Paul, it wasn't what you think. You need to believe me."

Paul shook his head in disbelief. "Don't fucking insult my intelligence Stephanie. You kissed him. End of story."

He ignored Stephanie's panicked whimpers. His stomach twisted nauseously as he slowly backed away. Paul felt the overwhelming need to get away from here and away from his wife. Even looking at her right now was pissing him off. Grabbing his coat from the back of the sofa, Paul made his way to the hall.

"Paul, where are you going? We have to talk. You've got to let me explain."

Paul felt her hand grip his thick forearm and he shrugged her off. He didn't look at her not wanting to see the pain he could hear in her voice. "Save it." he snapped at her. "I don't want to hear it right now."

"Paul, please! Don't walk away from me. You have to listen to me."

Stephanie's eyes were filled with tears as she wrapped her arms around herself, watching Paul hesitate, his hand lingering on the door knob. She felt sick to her stomach at the thought of him walking out the door because in the back of her mind, she was scared that there was the tiniest of chances he just might not come back. He was so angry and she was so scared.

"Please Paul, it was a mistake. You've got to believe me."

As he stood in silence, Stephanie took a little solace and a little hope in the fact he just might be listening to her.

"Mark kissed me, Paul." Stephanie continued, pausing to sniff back her tears. "He kissed me and I pushed him away. And I told him nothing could happen between us. I swear. And then I asked him to leave."

Her voice broke and Stephanie burst into tears as her emotions got the better of her. She slid down onto the sofa and placed her head in her hands as she cried.
Paul just stood there as he listened to her cry. He didn't know what to do. He was desperate to believe her but he knew it was his anger and mainly pride that were stopping him. He ran his fingers through his hair and his gaze shifted to the front door. It would be so easy just to walk out but deep down, he knew he couldn't do it. He loved Stephanie and he had no reason not to trust her. He just didn't understand why she didn't tell him about that damned kiss especially when she was so adamant it meant nothing. Her silence made her look guilty by default.

He sighed and slowly made his way towards his wife. It was killing him to see her so upset but on the other hand, he was reluctant to comfort her. He was still too angry with her. He needed to know why she had kept it a secret from him. He sat down on the sofa beside her and bent over, resting his arms on his thighs. He fiddled with his wedding band watching the precious metal sparkle in the low light of the room.

"Why didn't you tell me, Steph? If it meant nothing, why didn't you say anything?"

Stephanie tried to control her sobbing as Paul patiently waited for her to answer. She wiped her face with the back of her hand and took a couple of shaky breaths to try and calm herself down. As she turned to face him, she noticed he was staring straight ahead as he played with the gold ring on his finger.

"I…I was scared, I guess." she admitted.

"Why? Why were you scared?"

Stephanie swallowed back the lump in her throat as she sat back against the cushions. Her blue eyes stared at the side of her husband's face as she silently pleaded for him to believe her, to trust her.

"It's just…..well I know how you feel about Mark." she eventually spoke softly. "And I just worried that if you knew he had kissed me…well the truth is I was scared what you would do to him. And right now, that's the last thing he needs what with Jamie and everything. Plus, the very next morning he apologised to me. We both agreed it was a mistake and I decided there was no need to dwell on it. In fact I just wanted to forget it had ever happened. I guess that's why I decided not to tell you."

Paul chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully and shook his head. His big hand raked through his blonde hair absently. He didn't believe for a second that Mark meant that apology. Just like he didn't believe Mark kissing his wife was a mistake. Because he wasn't stupid. He knew that despite Stephanie insisting they were nothing more than friends, the guy had designs on Stephanie. That had been obvious to him the second Mark had set foot in his home and he didn't like it. He didn't like it one bit. He would even go so far to admit he didn't like Mark and he couldn't trust him as far as he could throw him. Especially now. So as far as he was concerned, that meant only one thing. He had no other choice. Not if he wanted to protect his wife and his family.

Paul's expression was solemn as he finally turned round to face Stephanie. Her big sad blue eyes were watching him, waiting patiently.

"I don't trust him Steph." he admitted. "I want you to stay away from him."

"But why?" she asked, astounded. "We're just friends, Paul. He knows that."

"Actually I don't think he does."

Paul got to his feet and slowly turned to face his wife. His deep brown eyes silently pleaded with her to understand that he had to do this. He had to force his hand.

"Stay away from Mark, Steph. I mean it."

Stephanie sat in stunned silence as she watched her husband walk away. She couldn't believe he had told her to give up her friendship with Mark. Paul had never issued her with an ultimatum in the whole nine years they had been together and she wasn't sure she liked it. In fact she didn't like it at all. But then again, if she was completely honest with herself, she could hardly blame him because if she was in his shoes, she'd probably do the same. The mere thought of Paul kissing another woman killed her inside and she wouldn't want him going anywhere near her. Paul obviously felt the same way about Mark and she had to respect that. She had to respect him. So now all she had to do was figure out a way to tell Mark that she had to keep her distance. Because she loved Paul with all her heart. He was all that mattered to her. He was quite simply her life and nothing or no one would ever get in the way of that.