101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks
In this chapter, our heroes are going to encounter yet another famous horror icon…if they're lucky, it might actually be their last one. But knowing their luck, this might not be the case. Either way, Jar Jar Binks is still going to die. Interestingly enough, the Terminator actually became a good guy in the second movie…why you ask? Well, apparently they reprogrammed him or something. It's kind of weird.
But for the time being, he's evil and he's going to show Jar Jar Binks and his "friends" no ounce of mercy, just the way you like it. I hope you like that I'm cracking down on this story…because if I'm lucky (or persistent enough), I might actually be able to finish them by the end of Febuary…or it might not even take that long. Then again, the chapters in this story aren't particularly long due to how simple they are…but I hope you'll enjoy this one nonetheless.
Chapter 87: Deadly Robot
Our heroes were happily relaxing this fine morning on a hot, sunny day. Today was the day they had decided to take a break from killing Jar Jar Binks, curiously enough. What's that? Why were they taking a break from killing the Gungan? Let's just see he was becoming progressively harder to kill lately and our heroes to give him a break for a change.
However, the same cannot be said for a robot that had been sent from the future to stop Jar Jar Binks from taking over the world. As it turns out, in some horrible alternate future, the obnoxious Gungan had become an all-powerful sith overlord known as Darth Darth Binks that ruled over everything that breathed. Suffice to say it wasn't a very pleasant place.
Time and time again had people tried to stop him, but every time that happened, they all ended up dying gruesomely one way or another. Thankfully, there was always hope…in this case, it was the form of an android, who had been created to go back in time and kill the past Jar Jar Binks so that Darth Darth Binks would cease to exist and therefore not take over the galaxy, creating a beneficial time paradox. Confused?
Long story short, the robot would stop at nothing to kill Jar Jar Binks, and he had powerful tools that he could use to do so easily. Regardles of what he did, he had nowhere to hide, and nowhere to run. Anything that he did to try to defend himself would ultimately prove futile. And if he tried attacking him, it probably wouldn't work too well considered he was secretly made of a powerful titanium alloy. To top it all off, he wasn't even aware of his presence. Unfortunately, neither did his so-called friends, as they were about to discover shortly.
The android began scanning the planet to see if he could locate any sign of the obnoxious Gungan that would later screw over his creators' solar system. Sure enough, he managed to locate him using his heat signature, and immediately he sprang into action.
"Hasta la vista, baby!" he bellowed.
He then used his built-in jetpack to fly towards the Gungan and his friends. However, he wasn't completely undetected.
"I sense a disturbance in the force…a big disturbance." said Obi-Wan Kenobi.
"That's never good." answered Anakin Skywalker, who always knew that whenever Obi-Wan said that trouble was nowhere close behind.
"Is it another horror icon? We've encountered a lot of them…but who's left?" questioned Padme Amidala.
On cue, the deadly android flew just a few feet away from them. His red eyes began to glow ominously, although this wasn't too noticeable due to the shades the android was wearing for some particular reason.
"Can we help you? You seem to be looking for somebody." asked C-3PO.
R2-D2 beeped in amazement. While he was always hanging out with a bunch of other robots, he hadn't seen one that looked human before. Such was the wonders of technology.
"I'm looking for the one known as Jar Jar Binks." answered the robot.
"Funny, you look just like Arnold Scwarzenegger." pointed out Padme.
"Very funny. Now then, do you know where he is?" retorted the killing machine.
"Oh him? He's right over there." answered Anakin.
As it turns out, he was busy playing with his own abnormally large tongue, unaware of what was about to happen to him…at least until it was too late.
Suddenly, he noticed the robot pointing a rather large rocket launcher at him, and realized what he planned to do.
"Oh snap! Mesa better run! Mesa always hated killer robots…" he screeched.
Unfortunately, said rocket launcher was heat-seeking, so he wasn't able to escape from the rocket and he was blown to smithereens.
"What a nice robot." thought Obi-Wan Kenobi, glad that he had murdered Jar Jar Binks for them today.
Suddenly, the robot began to malfunction due to its rather cruddy design (let's just say that it was a prototype), causing it to go crazy and begin to want to kill Anakin Skywalker and his friends.
"Hasta la vista, jedi!" screamed the now incredibly insane robot, who pulled out a minigun and began shooting our heroes.
"Chewbecca's poop! Run for it!" swore Anakin Skywalker.
Our heroes tried to run away from the Terminator, but it didn't work that well, as he had many weapons that he could use on our heroes even from a far distance, such as his shotgun (which he used to blow Anakin's head off), his laser cannon (which used to vaporize ObI-Wan Kenobi), his plasma beam (which he used to reduce Qui-Gon Jinn to ash), and his chainsaw (which he used to slice R2-D2 to scrap metal).
All that was left now is Padme Amidala and C-3PO, who had been cornered by the now insane robot.
Fortunately for them, the robot had a very cheap battery due to the fact that the creators wanted to save money, so it shut down shortly afterwards. Padme let out a sigh of relief.
"Funny, for a moment I thought we were done for, but it's really weird. Why did that robot shut down all of a sudden?" thought Padme.
C-3PO shrugged.
Padme Amidala then resurrected Jar Jar Binks and all of her dead friends using the Book of Resurrection so that they could try to kill the Gungan again, assuming another deadly robot didn't come from the future to do the job for them.
Meanwhile in the bad future…
The creator of the robot began to wonder why the future wasn't changing. Thanks to a miniature camera he installed in the cyborg, he saw it murder Jar Jar Binks…so why hadn't the bad future changed?
Suddenly, he realized that he had forgotten something…the Book of Resurrection our heroes had used to bring him back from the dead time and time again.
"Noooo!" screeched the robot's creator.
Oh dear, maybe our heroes shouldn't have resurrected Jar Jar Binks…now the bad future is going to still happen and our Gungan enemy is going to become an evil dictator…
At least, that's if our heroes don't kill Jar Jar Binks for good. They actually only have several deaths left to go before they can call it quits, but just what will happen until then? He does keep getting harder to kill after all. Will things take a turn for the worse?
You'll have to find out in the next chapter…of 101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks!