It's warm…

I don't want to wake up…

"Shizu-chan…"

Who..?

"Shizu-chan…"

Ah…this voice…

Her eyelids fluttered open and her cerulean orbs looked around the unfamiliar surrounding then landed on the three worried boys beside the bed she was laying on. She could see their expression turn into relief the moment she woke up and staggered to sit.

"Shizu-chan, how are you feeling?" Mibuchi asked.

"…better than before I guess…"

"geez, you should've told us if you were feeling sick! We could've let you stay in the dorm.." Hayama scolded though it sounded more like whining.

"I wanted to see the match. 'sides, I hate playing the damsel in distress."

Disagreeing sighs came out from the trio's mouth and feeling that she should, the girl apologized for causing them to worry. The next sentence that Nebuya said made her want to check if the current situation was just a dream.

"you should apologize to Akashi too."

"that's right. Sei-chan was really worried. Also the one who brought you to the infirmary inside the stadium before coach arrived"

"is that..so…"

It sounded like a lie but the way they were looking at her suggested that it may be true. She had to hold back a frown at the thought of apologizing to Akashi. Even though she did like him, saying sorry to him was a bit too much for the prideful girl but she did cause him to worry— though she has a hard time believing it —so an apology was inevitable.

"by the way, how did the game go?"

"of course we won~" Hayama grinned and made a V sign with his fingers. "86-70"

"heeh…congrats"

"well with Sei-chan leading us, there is no way we would lose"

"hm..where's Akashi anyway?"

"oh? Going to apologize so soon?"

"that's the main idea" she dryly said, getting off the bed.

"he went out for a walk right after Seirin & Kaijo's match. I assume he's in the nearby park since there's a court there"

"thanks"

Feeling refreshed after a long time passing out, she grabbed her coat and ran out in search for the red haired boy. The park Mibuchi mentioned was in Haido street and usually at this time where the skies have already darkened, it would be quite empty so it would make a perfect place from someone who wanted to have a stroll with no disturbance. The moment she reached her destination, she found the male shooting hoops alone. Even in this cold weather…

"Akashi—!"

He stopped when he saw the female jogging towards him and for a moment, Shizune swore she saw a flash of relief on his face. Mixed with irritation though.

"Kudo. I see you're feeling better."

"yea..sorry I made you—"

"I wasn't worried. The others just jumped into their own conclusions."

She twitched the moment he interrupted her and that he had completely denied any sense of worry for her but shrugged it off and sat on a bench place beside the court's fence.

"you're gonna get sick y'know.."

"I'm not as weak as you."

"…whatever you say"

The brunette rested her head between her palms with her elbows on her knees and watched Akashi resume his little practice alone. The scene was beautiful. The sight of the redhead playing with the ball wearing his coat with only the light from the park lamps illuminating the court in the darkness of the winter evening. Her admiring of the other was disrupted by the cold and freezing sensation of something falling from the sky.

Snow…

It was a rare occurrence in Tokyo and also in Kyoto so the two teens looked up to appreciate the chance of seeing it. Deciding it was time to stop, Akashi walked over to the bench but instead of sitting right beside his female companion on the object, he sat down on the ground and leaned on the bench with one of his legs outstretched and the other folded up against his chest. Though puzzled by his choice, the girl said nothing and casually handed him a bottle of water she brought which he accepted.

The two silently watched as the snow fell gracefully and disappeared the second it landed on the ground. It was a first for the young detective to actually concentrate so much on the frozen beauty of nature. She noticed how pure it looked like. How breath-taking. And how it perfectly it decorated the view of the male next to her.

The white falling from the sky made the boy's small smile which formed as he observed it look so innocent and gentle in her eyes. Something Akashi Seijuro should not be able to produce in her opinion. Or was it because of her feelings that he seemed so…appealing.

…eh?

Shizune blinked and gave a hard stare at the redhead with a bewildered expression on her face. Am I imagining things? Once again, she saw the young boy which she 'dreamt' after her little scuffle with Akashi only this time, his image was over lapped with the redhead beside her. Why it happened? She has no idea. The male noticed her gaze on him and asked what was the matter which she said it was nothing. Not really accepting her answer, he got up and simply told her that it was time they return to the dorm. She readily agreed and the pair started their walk back.

"ah." escaped from the girl's lips once they were halfway to their destination.

"what's the matter?"

"Mibuchi-senpai requested me to get something for him. You head back first. I'll return after I get senpai's stuff"

"..I'll—"

"it's okay. I'll manage. Later!"

She ran off, leaving the other alone. Once she reached the supermarket, she grabbed the medical items she was requested to get and headed towards the counter to pay. The time she had to wait for the queue was rather long. Every minute, a sigh was emitted from the girl. There was only one open counter and the people that were there were buying tons of stuff, even though it's already dark outside. This is gonna be a drag…

Shizune leisurely walked back to the dorm while humming— despite her tone-deaf feature —Break by Two Mix, the stuff she bought (after almost an hour of waiting) held close to her chest. The snow was still falling and she could see her own breath in courtesy of the cold air. The journey back was suppose to be a calming one but the sound of her phone ringing ruined the atmosphere.

Who is it..?

She dug around in her pocket and flipped her phone open, revealing the caller's name on the display.

"hello? Something up, mom?" she asked in the most nonchalant tone she had. If it's her mom, it wouldn't be anything important. It'll usually be her asking how she's doing or complaining about something. But, today was different. The alarmed and brittle tone the caller used worried the young detective so much that she felt her heart would stop.

"S-Shizu-chan..I don't know what to do! Y-Yusaku is…Yusaku is…!"

"c-calm down, mom. What happened to dad?"

"It's terrible! They said he might not make it and that he's in a critical condition and I just..I just.."

On the other line, Shizune could hear her mother break down in tears. By her words, she could already guess what happened. Her father either got caught up in a case and was injured by the culprit or he just met with an accident. The girl's grip on her phone tightened and she used the calmest voice she had in order to give an impression to her mother that she wasn't going to go in the same condition like her.

"mom. I'm sure he'll be fine. You know dad. He doesn't go down that easily"

"but..!"

"if his own family doesn't believe he will be fine, who else would? That's why, we- you should stay strong. Okay?"

Silence went for a while before a soft "okay" was heard from the other end. The girl gave a small smile and her mother ended the call after mentioning she will inform her if anything happens. As quickly as it came, the smile disappeared and the brunette could feel her chest tightening. She wasn't that close with her parents but even so, hearing the news was a huge shock to her and if possible, she wanted to fly off to America to stay by her father's side. But no. She has a responsibility on the team here. She can't just abandon them.

Besides, even if she does go to America, she wouldn't know what to do. Faking a calm composure over the phone was easy but if she faces the real thing, she doesn't have the confidence that she could keep her mask on. Slowly, she proceeded towards the dormitory where she was confronted by a rather unhappy Akashi Seijuro, his arms crossed and with his usually cold, intimidating gaze.

"what took you so long?"

"..sorry.."

He, being the observant one, saw the dull light in her cerulean eyes and her pained expression which she could've managed to hide if the opponent wasn't the red haired captain. His ruby and gold orbs softened and he gently asked the reason which she answered with her usual "nothing" and rushed up to her room, ignoring the male's command to stay put.

All she wanted was to curl up in the futon and forget about her mother's call. Forget about her father's condition. Forget about everything. She hated that feeling. The feeling of caring for someone. Honestly she hated it. But as her years as a detective increased, the feeling increased with it and discarding it was impossible. She knew that but deep down inside, there are times she just wanted to throw it away. She wasn't used to dealing with much pain. Never has she felt like this. The more she thought about it, the more hurt her chest felt.

She threw her coat and scarf onto the tatami floor and went under the warm futon, not bothering to change or even lock the door. The girl hoped that by just being quiet and shutting her eyes, she might fall asleep unconsciously and forget most of the things that happened when she wakes up.

"Kudo." Akashi's emotionless voice sounded as the room's door slid open with its usual "gata-gata" sound and closed with the same noise. "did something happen?"

"...why do you want to know?" her voice sounding cold but slightly breaking.

"just answer the question."

"leave. I don't want to talk."

"answer the question and I'll leave."

"don't you understand the word leave!?" The brunette roughly pushed away the covers and grabbed the redhead by his collar the second she got up from the futon. His conceited attitude has always annoyed her but this time, it irritated her more than ever. She was not sure why but she was. The dorm's walls were quite thick so there was no fear of the others hearing her shout at him. They were in a deep slumber anyways. "I don't wanna see your face right now so get the hell out of here!"

Unfazed by her raised voice, the male just closed his eyes and calmly— if not, in a more soft tone—asked once more, "did something happen, Kudo?"

"nothing. Nothing at all! Nothing except that my dad is in a hospital waiting for the time of his death to come!"

Ah..that was the problem..Akashi thought. No wonder she looked torn when she returned. According to the stories he heard from his father, the girl was more close to her father rather than her mother because of the similar love in mysteries so it must have been a strong blow. Even so, not even a single tear fell from her eyes. The male acknowledge her strong façade but that didn't mean it should continue.

"…it's enough, don't you think?"

"hah!?"

The redhead opened his eyes and gently brought the female's head to his broad chest in which her cheeks turned slightly pink.

"Aka..shi..?"

"you can cry if you want. No one except me will see your tears. There is no need to hold them back…just let it all go…"

Her eyes widened and then one by one, tears rolled down her cheeks and that was the end. She buried her face in his chest and cried her heart out. After years, this was the first time she actually let her tears flow out. Before, she decided that crying will only make others think she is weak and unsuited to become a detective so for that sole purpose, she sealed the emotion of grief and kept it that way.

That night, where the snow gracefully fell, the young detective's mask of pride and confidence was finally broken. The boy who was responsible softly caressed her hair, sometimes mumbling some words of comfort for her. He kept her company the whole night, holding her small and fragile figure in his arms.

Yes…they were similar. She couldn't reveal her true feelings. He still can't do the same. Both were lonely yet both were not.

Seeing her in front of him in her current state, he couldn't help but think that would he, one day, break down like her?

Like he once did 10 years ago?...

I feel so guilty...
What have I done...
Sorry Yusaku! ;A;
oh and, thanks for reading- :')