Author's Notes: Thank you to every person who has reviewed, read, followed, and favourited this story so far! I need to specially thank G for writing up a draft for an important portion of an earlier scene in this chapter for me. I simply couldn't get it done without her help, whereas the rest of the chapter was waiting to be written. She's an incredible friend, and a life-saver!

Important: An OC character, Jane, will be properly introduced soon - however, you need to know an important fact about her dialogue. Any misspellings you may notice are completely intentional. Though a Brooklyn accent is what she used for most of her life, Jane now has a rather unique way of talking that can't be catagorised by just one accent/manner of speaking. If it seems confusing or inconsistent, that is also intentional. I am doing my best to not write it in an annoying way, but be aware that the dialogue is very crucial to her characterisation - more on this will be explained as chapters go along, either in notes I put here or within the fic.

The morning sunlight was not at all welcomed by Kensi, as she rolled onto her side and made a sound of protest.

Yawning, she wondered where she was. It wasn't her bedroom, either of them, yet it was filled with a familiar scent. The warmth beside her was suddenly noticeable, when she felt a shift on the mattress. Deeks' arm wrapped around her, and Kensi tried to work out if she was meant to sink into his embrace or flee. Deciding she was comfortable, Kensi merely exhaled and allowed herself that moment.

While she lay in his bed, Kensi considered how quickly things had changed again. He'd dropped her outside her place, and she'd asked him to stay. However, she'd woken in his bed instead of her own - Kensi lay there trying to remember why, as her mind left the fogginess of sleep.

A sound briefly startled her, and Kensi looked over to see Monty making his way towards her. She smiled when Monty stood on his hind legs to reach the mattress with his nose, resting his snout a short distance from her. He whined, and wagged his tail, as Kensi reached to scratch his ears. She remembered, now – Deeks hadn't wanted to leave Monty alone. Instead of Deeks heading to pick Monty up, then coming back to her apartment, the two partners had simply relocated from her place to his.

Kensi felt a bit guilty about hiding the truth from Deeks. She spent very little time at the apartment, but Kensi didn't think it felt right yet to tell him about the house and Jane. In fact, Kensi hadn't told anyone; not even her mother. It wasn't necessarily a huge secret, but it was a part of Kensi's life so entwined with her past that it would feel strange and scary for her to share it with anyone of the present.

Kensi was so ensconced with her thoughts that she hadn't noticed Deeks waking up or reaching for her. She jumped when his hand brushed the hair from her shoulder, but didn't face him, as she continued to give her attention to Monty. It wasn't until Deeks spoke that Kensi finally glanced in his direction, however briefly.

'Morning, Fern.' Deeks said.

He turned onto his back to see her properly, and gave her a lopsided grin. Yawning, Deeks sat up and watched, as she slid over to the edge of the bed where his furry dog stood on his hind legs to better reach the bed. Deeks was amused to observe how happy Monty was to have Kensi there in the morning. Deeks thought her presence was the best thing he could possibly wake up to.

'Sleep well?' He asked. Deeks felt as if he'd had the best night's sleep of his life.

Kensi merely shrugged in response. Her non-committal gesture was partially because she had slept really well, yet also partially because she had no idea what to say to him. Giving Monty almost all of her attention was simple, and without any confusion, which Kensi preferred for the moment.

Deeks shifted so he could see her better. In his opinion, she was the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. Kensi was dressed in one of his shirts, with her bare legs tucked underneath her, while her brown hair flowed around her shoulders. The golden morning sunlight touched her form, and Deeks wondered if he was still dreaming. He then observed the way her hand absent-mindedly stroked through Monty's fur, and how she lightly chewed on her lower lip.

An uninvited pit of worry formed in his stomach.

'Do...Do you regret it?' Deeks asked.

'What?' Kensi halted her actions, much to Monty's disappointment, and turned to look at Deeks.

'Us.' Deeks held his breath when her gaze met his. 'Have you changed your mind? Do you...Not want a relationship with me?'

The word "relationship" felt strange to him, as if it was being spoken for the first time in existence. Kensi inhaled a short breath when she heard the word, and Deeks had to avert his gaze in fear his anxiety would become too transparent.

'What? No...Why would you think that?' Kensi offered him a shy smile, then stood from the bed.

Deeks watched her walk across the room, with Monty padding at her heels, and enter the bathroom.

He exhaled, and got up to pull on some sweatpants. He walked to the bedroom door, but was unable to cross the threshold. He rested his head against the door-frame, then turned abruptly to approach the bedroom window. He parted the curtains further, and squinted at the bright sunlight, then returned to the doorway of the room. The bathroom door closed, and Monty whined as he rested his chin on the floor just outside the barrier.

Deeks took no notice; his mind begun to swarm with thoughts and doubts.

Kensi had wanted this, hadn't she? He hadn't overstepped; she had been the one to ask him to stay. Deeks knew she was disappointed about not being pregnant, but had she changed her mind entirely? He wished he could be angry at fate, or himself, for their unsuccessful attempt to make a baby, but Deeks simply didn't have the energy to.

After only a few minutes, he found himself doing something he hadn't done since he was a child: Deeks paced up and down the hallway just outside the bedroom, and started biting his nails. He stopped, walked into the living room, and rooted himself to the spot to stare unfocused through the window at the view of the ocean he sought calmness from.

'Deeks?'

He was startled when her hand rested lightly on his shoulder. The roles had been reversed; now Deeks was the one unable to fully turn to face her.

'I...I'm sorry.' He said, forcing himself to look in her direction.

Kensi was confused, and it showed on her face. She saw how sad and uncertain Deeks looked, and wondered if she'd made a mistake. Kensi wanted to be with him, but had he changed his mind - did he no longer want a baby, or her?

'I shouldn't have made you stay.' Kensi said, and pulled away from him.

She focused her brown eyes on the floor, unable to meet his gaze in effort to prepare herself for what she may have to do in order to protect herself - and to salvage what she could, if he'd indeed completely changed his mind.

'What? You never made me stay – I wanted to. God, how I've wanted to be with you for so long.' Deeks pulled her into his arms. He felt her stiffen for a moment, then relax into his embrace.

'I didn't realise, at first, how badly I wanted for it to happen. When it didn't, I saw the disappointment in your eyes, and I felt like I had let you down.' Kensi confessed, burying her face against his white shirt. It felt incredible to be held in his warm, supportive arms; she felt comfortable there – more comfortable than Kensi ever thought was possible.

Deeks leaned back and cupped her chin with his hand, lifting her face to meet his. The uncertainty and guilt displayed in her eyes spurred on his next words, which he had to make her believe. He had to let her know how much he meant what he was saying.

'You can never, ever disappointment me. You are everything to me, Kens.' Deeks said sincerely. 'I just thought you were upset with me. You wanted the baby so bad, we both did, and if I couldn't give you a baby, would you leave me?' He stepped back to give her the space to answer.

Deeks hoped she understood it wasn't just about their desire for a child - it was much more. Initially, they'd only thought of the baby. Now, things had evolved even in such a short period of time. Deeks wanted to wake beside her every morning, and to hold her in his arms for as long as possible. He wanted a future where they were together, and not just as partners.

Her eyes filled with tears, and Kensi fought the instinctual urge to hide her emotions. She didn't need to lock it away this time, she told herself; not with Deeks.

'I...I want this so bad. But I want it with you.' Kensi whispered.

The magnitude of their failed attempt fell on her shoulders again, as she wrapped her arms around herself protectively. Deeks stood close, and Kensi synced his actions by wrapping her arms around him. He held her protectively to his chest, and kissed her forehead.

'Let's not worry too much right now.' He told her, trying to offer reassurance. 'My mother always said, if a baby wants to be born than it will be. We can use this time to get to know each other better. I mean, we know each other really well at work – and God knows I can list all your favourite snacks without even thinking about it - but things are different now. You know I'd die for you, if our yummy yummy heart attack nights don't kill us first, but our habits at home...Maybe we need to work on that.' He said wisely.

'Like...?'

'Like, maybe you could stay with me for a while? We'll check on your place so you don't have to worry, but you could see what it's like being together. Then, maybe...' Deeks let his words trail off, unable to finish, as his nervousness caught up with him again.

He glanced up at the clock on the wall, and sighed. He wanted to ask her to move in, to live with him, let them try again for a child they could raise together – any child they had together, but he couldn't.

'Damn!' He swore, observing the wall clock. 'We're going to be late. You want the shower first?'

Kensi nodded, and thanked him, as she turned to rush down the hall.

She'd grabbed a bag the night before, making Deeks wait outside, but most of her clothes were back at the house so her packing options had been very limited. Kensi knew, with what Deeks had said earlier, that she was going to have to tell him the truth soon. A part of her wondered if her apartment was only to keep up appearances now; since she'd essentially moved back in with Jane almost a year ago. As bold a claim as it may be, Kensi was quite certain even Hetty didn't have the address on file or know about Jane. Those thoughts remained with her while she stepped under the warm stream of water, and allowed the shower to smooth the curls of her hair.

In the bedroom, Deeks sank against his side of the bed and listened as the shower turned on. He knew he had to convince Kensi to do this again. It wasn't just because he liked sleeping with her - he loved sleeping with her; he loved watching TV with her, even the girly shows, and he just loved doing anything with Kensi that made her smile.

Deeks soon wondered, if she got pregnant, what their baby would be like. He closed his eyes and saw a small girl with curly blonde hair, her mismatched eyes, and his cheeky grin. It was a happy image, and he could almost hear the little girl giggling while she played. When she looked in his direction and said, "Daddy!", now with a brown-haired boy beside her, Deeks felt a flush of emotion for what could have been.

The word, however, seemed to reach his ears as well. Confused, he jerked his eyes open and focused on the site of Kensi standing just outside the bathroom. She was dressed in jeans, and a casual top, while she leaned against the doorway to watch him with a quizzical smile.

'What?' Deeks blinked. He shook his head, clearing his mind of thoughts he shouldn't allow.

'I said, the shower is ready.' Kensi said, her tone lightly laced with teasing. 'You look tired. I'll make you coffee.' She decided, and headed for the kitchen in the other room.

'Just the coffee machine!' Deeks called to her, while getting up to head for the bathroom. 'The rest of the kitchen isn't ready for you yet.'

'Ha. Ha.' She snarked back, turning the corner to reach the kitchen.

Despite her words, Kensi smiled and felt her mood lifting when her nervousness began to somewhat fade. Her mind still worried; a relationship itself was a lot for her to adapt to - except it was Deeks. Anyone else, and she'd have been out the door over an hour ago, but not with Deeks. For him, Kensi was keeping her cold feet in a pair of fluffy socks to help her walk across her frozen lake.

She moved around the kitchen, glad she was at least able to safely operate a coffee machine, and patiently waiting for Deeks to shower. Monty quietly anticipated her to feed him, from where he sat at her feet beside his bowls. Kensi did, and continued to watch him as Monty offered her a meaningful look.

'You think I should tell him, don't ya?' Kensi said softly. She bent to scratch behind his ear, then stepped back to let him eat. 'I will. Not yet, but I will.' She avowed.

Kensi resumed what she was doing, her mind tossing over when would be the right time to tell Deeks about Jane and the whole side of her life no one knew – not even her own mother, or Hetty. At least, Kensi didn't think Hetty knew - one could never be entirely certain with Henrietta Lange.

~ EB ~

By the time Deeks had showered, sort-of shaved, and dressed, he found Kensi standing at the front door with his "to go" mug of coffee. Monty rested comfortably on the couch, looking to have been fed and gone for his walk. Deeks wondered how Kensi had achieved so much for the five minutes he spent in the shower, or if somehow his shower had turned into a time machine without him noticing.

'Thank you, Dear.' Deeks commented cheekily, though the gratitude shone in his eyes.

When she aimed one of her brilliant smiles in his direction, the gravity beneath his feet felt oddly light than the day before. He grinned at her, and took the hot drink.

A smirk remained on his face, as he opened the door and led the way outside.

'Deeks!' Kensi growled, following him down the stairs – after locking the door behind them.

'Yes, Dear?' He asked innocently, looking up at her with his clear blue eyes.

'I'm driving.' She said, shaking her keys at him.

Deeks sighed theatrically, and stood to one side to let her pass him with her usual flair of bossy determination. It only made him grin wider.

'Oh, God.' He breathed, as she shot him another smile on her walk to the driver's side of the car.

The light mood of the moment rapidly vanished in a few seconds, as though a giant air vent sucked out all sense of calm and comfort. Deeks halted at the look on Kensi's face, and chilling dread filled him again.

'Kens?'

'Uh, I can't.' Kensi shook her head. 'I have to make a stop first. A private, non-Deeks stop.' She gave him a mocking dead-panned expression, hoping to hold onto what little playfulness was left in the moment.

'Really?' Deeks beamed at her, relieved by her continued confidence. 'Admit it, Kens, you just wanna call up your girlfriends and tell them how irresistibly awesome I am. And who could blame you? I'm just that amazing.'

'Yeah, as if.' Kensi snorted, though a slight blush appeared on her cheeks against her will.

'You didn't take any photos when I wasn't looking, did you?' Deeks continued. 'I wouldn't want anyone seeing the goods, but you.'

'Deeks.' Kensi rolled her eyes, trying to hold back her chuckle. 'That's not it. It's personal stuff. Private, personal stuff. Non-Deeks stuff, remember?'

'Ooh, so girl stuff?' Deeks didn't back down, enjoying the way they bantered like usual even when everything between them had either changed or evolved. 'Does this involve chocolate and tampons, cuz, you know, Kens, I'm a modern guy – I can get them for you.'

'Oh, that is so not happening.' Kensi threatened, but could not prevent the short laughter from escaping her lips. 'Sam will walk around the bullpen in a pink tutu before THAT happens!'

'So, it's possible?' Deeks said cheekily, with a wide grin still gracing his features 'Be careful, partner – it almost sounded like you made a joke there that was actually funny.'

'I'm going now.' Kensi shook her head, feeling like an idiot for how giddy she was. 'Before I have to shoot you.'

'And risk harming this stunning body?' Deeks said, as he backed away from her car while she got into the driver's side. 'You'd only be hurting yourself, Kens. I can't let you do that.'

'Goodbye, Deeks.' Kensi rolled her eyes again, peering at him through the open window. 'I'll see you at work, partner.'

'You're going to stop for doughnuts, aren't you?' Deeks called to her when the engine started. 'That's what this is about! You're going to stop for doughnuts, and not get me any! That's just cold, Kens. I wouldn't ever do that to you, Honey.'

'You wouldn't dare.' Kensi corrected. 'Bye, Deeks.' She gave a brief wave, then turned out of the parking space and drove away.

Deeks watched her car fade into the distance, then released a long exhale.

He took a moment to absorb everything that had happened since they'd left work the night before, to waking up beside her, and now. Deeks worried he'd dreamed the whole thing, except his imagination had never been quite so incredible. It was real, and even without a baby – Deeks was happy with how things were going. Maybe this was supposed to happen instead – maybe they didn't need a baby yet? For now, Deeks had Kensi.

He was perfectly content with that.

After leaving Deeks' apartment, Kensi headed straight to the one place she considered to be her true home for now.

Parking incorrectly across the driveway, Kensi got out of the car while balancing her keys and coffee cup. Her teeth clenched the top of a doughnut bag, which contained her intended breakfast, and removed any ability she had to greet the elderly lady on the other side of the fence.

Reaching the front door, Kensi managed to unlock it without risking her breakfast or coffee, and hazardously strayed into the large entrance hallway. With a heavy huff of relief, she dropped her paper bag onto the small side-table she and Jane had put next the doorway for that exact purpose.

Kensi wandered along the hallway until she turned to the right into the kitchen. The answering machine rested on the pale kitchen counter, along with various other scattered objects; neither she nor Jane had much interest in cooking. Or skill, really, but that was another matter altogether. Kensi saw the flickering red light on the machine, announcing she had received a message while she'd been away. Sipping her coffee, and resting her elbows on the counter to stare at the machine, Kensi pressed the button to listen.

As she'd expected, Jane's carefree yet bossy voice flushed out the otherwise silence of the room. Traces of her Brooklyn accent were still detectable in her tone, though Kensi had known Jane for so long she hardly noticed the unique way in which her friend spoke.

"Hey, Girl, you're not answerin the damn phone! You better be out with some smokin hot dude instead of hogging the couch watching Top Model." Jane said, to which Kensi merely rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, I'm kinda in the middle of somethin - I'll keep this short.' Jane continued. 'I'll be home in a couple of weeks so make sure you restock the ice cream. If I get home, and my freezer doesn't have ice cream, I won't be hearin any excuses. I gotta tell you, that creep what's-his-stupid-name has been callin me again – is there anythang you can do about it with your top secret job I'm not supposed to know nothing about? Oh, and this is probably a good time to tell you I need bail money. Do you mind sendin it as soon as you can? I'll pay you back when I get home. I gotta go, Mr Pudgy Officer here is givin me the evil eye. Whatever – just take care, Girl. I'll see you soon."

With a click, the message ended.

Kensi straightened her posture, and pressed a button to save the message. She shook her head, sipping the last of her coffee, and huffed with partially amused annoyance.

It was going to be a long day.

~ EB ~

When Deeks arrived at work, he'd hoped to see Kensi already there. Even so, it wasn't unusual for him to walk in moments after Callen and Sam, but before Kensi. He was still rather cheerful, despite how coming into work had resurfaced the reality of the situation, as Deeks walked to his desk and sat down. He glanced at the other two, unsure what to say or if he should risk talking, and merely fussed with his paperwork.

Before either Sam or Callen had the chance to comment on his lack of chatter, Kensi came hurrying inside as if in a disastrous rush. She walked to Deeks' desk, and dropped a bakery bag in front of him, before she darted to her own desk.

'Am I seeing this right?' Callen snorted.

'This is definitely a first.' Sam added, leaning back in his chair slightly, as he observed the pair.

'Deeks is quiet.' Callen continued.

'Kensi brought him a doughnut.' Sam joined.

'And they both completely ignored us.' Callen pretended to be offended, whereas he was clearly enjoying himself. 'What, no doughnut for us?'

'How do you know it's a doughnut?' Deeks questioned, equally surprised by Kensi's gesture. He warily reached for the white paper bag. 'It could be a pastry hybrid. A variant of French flat bread. Or a stuffed snake. Or a bomb.'

'It's a doughnut.' Callen nodded confidently, and glanced at Kensi. 'You still have nothing to say?'

'About what?' Kensi asked, distracted, as she scribbled down some notes on a piece of paper.

'Doughnut.' Sam nodded, watching Deeks lift out his deliciously fresh cinnamon doughnut.

'I bet there were another four in this bag.' Deeks chuckled, raising the doughnut to inhale its warm scent. 'What is this going to cost me, Partner?' He then joked, looking across the bullpen at his oddly focused...What was she now? His girlfriend? Deeks certainly hoped so, but they hadn't gotten that far in their discussions for him to be sure yet.

His bantering dropped slightly when he saw how intensely she was trying to shut them all out, but didn't want to be too obvious in her actions.

'Nothing.' Kensi said simply, keeping her eyes on her desk.

With a dreading sigh, she reached for her desk phone and gradually pressed each number in hope of delaying the process.

'Now I really want a doughnut.' Callen sulked.

'You had bacon and waffles this morning.' Sam pulled a face of disapproval. 'Isn't that the same thing? You need a proper breakfast, G. I still don't understand how your cholesterol isn't sky high by now.'

'What terrifying world do you live in where bacon, waffles, and doughnuts are the same thing?' Callen stared at his partner, as if he didn't know who Sam was or where he'd come from.

'Guys, shh!' Kensi growled. 'Hello? Yes, yes. Mathew Glock, he's a-Yeah, I know it's a fake name.' She said, and shoved some scrunched balls of paper off her desk into the trash bin beside her. She pretended not to care that the others were watching her with intrigue, though she often squirmed with discomfort.

'Boyfriend?' Callen attempted to guess with Sam.

Deeks tensed at the word. He tried to give his doughnut attention, rather than eavesdrop, but he couldn't help himself.

'No.' Sam shook his head, watching Kensi carefully. 'Too serious. Too irritated.'

'Ex-boyfriend, then?'

'Regretful associate, maybe?' Sam assumed.

'Aren't they the same thing?' Callen frowned.

'Not to a woman.' Nell said, walking into the room. 'What's going on?' She noticed Deeks acting as if one doughnut was his whole world, whereas the other pair were intently observing Kensi while the agent talked on the phone.

'Mystery caller.' Sam answered.

'Not a boyfriend.' Callen added.

'Oh.' Nell stood beside Callen's desk and glanced at Kensi as well.

The smaller woman narrowed her hazel eyes in inability to resist an intellectually-charged challenge. She crossed her arms over her chest while she observed the scene, which was a habit Nell had recently been doing more frequently.

Sam continued to watch Kensi, whereas Callen's blue gaze drifted over to the ginger-haired woman standing beside him. He saw Nell's expression change, and knew she had figured it out or else had an educated guess so good she may as well have figured it out.

'Well?' He prodded.

'Uh, can't say.' Nell said simply, shaking her head. 'Women's code.'

'That's a real thing?' Callen creased his expression, looking to Sam for confirmation - since his partner was married.

'It's a real thing.' Sam nodded, displeased.

'You know who Kensi is calling?' Callen asked Nell.

'Nope.' Nell shook her head, offering Callen a sly smile.

Callen never knew if that particular expression on her face was maddening or thrilling - it was Nell's way of letting him see she knew more than she was saying, and whatever it was he'd probably rather know.

'But I know what it's about.' With her parting words, Nell turned and walked away without explaining why she'd ventured into the bullpen at all.

Callen, distracted from Kensi, watched Nell ascend the stairs, aware that she'd joined them around the time she was usually calling them up for a case. Or Eric was. The room remained whistle-free - and with Nell back up in Ops, Callen returned his interest to the bullpen.

'I don't care!' Kensi ranted on the phone.

The stress and contained fury in her tone finally earned Kensi Deeks' undivided attention. He recognised her protectiveness, and suddenly Deeks didn't like being at the same level of knowledge as the others were when it came to Kensi. He tried to work out if he'd missed something she'd said recently, or how he could have overlooked another sign that more was on Kensi's mind than just their unsuccessful attempt to have a baby. It confused him at first, then Deeks felt ashamed for assuming he was all Kensi had on her mind lately.

He wanted to ask her about it, but knew the open work area was not the place to do so.

'I. Don't. Care.' Kensi pronounced firmly. 'Get Thompson on it. The guy is still stalking her! I don't know how he's getting her number, but he is. Deal with it.' She slammed the phone receiver down into its place.

Exhaling a breath to prevent her urge to throw it across the room instead, Kensi wished she didn't have to make that call at work with the others all around her. Kensi wanted to figure out why Jane was still having trouble with her stalker, after what they'd done to handle it last time, and would do anything to keep Jane safe.

Kensi owed Jane her life, and more.

What she didn't like, however, was how uncomfortable she felt under the scrutiny of the others. Kensi could have waited, she knew, but was deliberately trying not to be secretive. She'd kept it to herself for so long, and the phone call was supposed to be her first step to getting the truth out. A swell of panic and survival instincts made her second-guess if she could go through with it.

'You good?' Deeks asked.

Kensi looked up to see he was watching her with more attentiveness than the other two. Deeks was worried and confused, and it only made her feel worse. She had to tell him, Kensi knew, but wasn't sure when would be the right time. Deeper down, Kensi wondered if there was ever a right time for certain things or if it was merely her excuse to stay enveloped by the security of no one knowing the full extent of her past. She kept Jane, the house, and everything that came with it to herself because that way Kensi felt it would never change. She didn't want the present altering her past – it scared her that everything she'd ever known would no longer be kept entirely for herself and Jane, as if the present world would taint it.

'I'm good.' Kensi nodded, then glanced back at the papers disorganised on her desk in front of her.

She had a lot to sort through, mentally and emotionally, but Kensi was soon distracted from it all when she instead focused on the lovely night before. She yawned into her hand and sighed, wishing she'd bought more than just doughnuts for breakfast. Kensi felt strange all of a sudden, but didn't think much of it. A lot had happened recently, and she assumed it was just the ordeal of it all. Looking over at Deeks, who continued to watch her (much to the amusement of Callen and Sam), Kensi offered him a genuine smile.

For now, she was content.

Whatever happened next - whatever came their way, Kensi and Deeks were determined to get through it – together.

Author's Notes: Thank you! Is anyone looking forward to meeting Jane, and/or finding out how she's involved in Kensi's life? I would really apreciate your feedback, so please take a moment to review and let me know what you thought.