101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks
This chapter is going to reference a rather scary video game…basically speaking, our heroes are going to be hunted down by a rather scary monster that you may know from the internet…let's hope that he doesn't try to get you because for some strange reason, the fourth wall doesn't seem to work on him. He always appears out of nowhere…
But for the time being, he's hanging around in the woods in the middle of the night, as our heroes will eventually find out as they collect several unusual pages. What secret could be hidden in them? And just who do you think could have written them? The galaxy may never know.
Chapter 93: Slenderman
"These woods are awfully scary." thought Padme Amidala. "You sure we should set up camp here? It doesn't look overly ideal, to say the very least."
"Every time you take us somewhere else, something always happens that ends up getting us killed. Are you trying to commit suicide again, Obi-Wan Kenobi?" pointed out Anakin Skywalker.
"Relax my apprentice, I promise you that nothing bad is going to happen to us this time." Obi-Wan Kenobi pointed out.
"But I'm sensing a disturbance in the force. A big one." stated Anakin Skywalker.
"It's probably just your imagination." ignored Qui-Gon Jinn.
Unbeknownst to our heroes, there was a monster in these particular woods…one that for some strange reason liked to dress up in a fancy suit whenever it wanted to go out and kill more victims. Oh, and for some strange reason, it had tentacles and liked to teleport around the place.
Jar Jar Binks had once again wandered away from the group, and noticed that there was a written page on one of the trees. He wondered what was going on as he began reading.
The letter read "Help me! There's a maniac in the woods! He dresses in a tuxedo and he wants me dead! He has tentacles and if you look at him for too long, you'll lose your mind! Get the heck out of here now!"
"Dat was rather unusual." thought the Gungan. He wondered who on earth would write something like that, and whether there really was a monster in the woods.
He decided to head back to his friends, when suddenly Jar Jar Binks noticed that there was a strange-looking man standing out in the woods. He noticed that for some strange reason, he was abnormally tall and was rather slender.
"Hi there! Yousa better be careful! Dere's a monster in the woods! Yousa better get out of here!" pointed out the Gungan.
The monster responded by lunging towards Jar Jar Binks, and he began tearing his organs out.
"Ouchies! Quit taking mesa organs! Mesa need mesa organs to survive!" exclaimed the unfortunate victim.
The monster simply ignored him, and continued tearing out his vital (and non-vital) organs until his latest victim croaked…which didn't take very long at all considering how fragile Jar Jar Binks tended to be.
With his hands now covered with delicious Gungan blood, the Slender Man then teleported away to search for his next victim…which ironically enough was very nearby.
As it turns out, our heroes were also discovering disturbing pages throughout the woods.
"Beware of the Slenderman! He is a crazy maniac who wants to kill you and your friends and family! He won't rest until everyone in the world is dead!" stated one of the pages.
"I want my mommy! I want my daddy! I want to get out of here! The Slenderman is E-V-I-L! Why does he have to be so cruel? Does he have any sense of humanity?" stated another one of the pages.
"Run for your lives! The Slenderman is here! Get the heck out of this forest before it's too late!" informed yet another page.
"Please Slenderman, have mercy! What did I ever do to you! No please! Aah!" informed the fourth page.
"Slenderman is a jerk. He is stupid, ugly, and fat. He also smells like raw sewage." retorted the fifth page.
"Why the heck does he have no eyes? Can he even see us? Is he blind?" questioned the sixth page.
"Why are we even writing these pages? It's not like it's going to help us in the long run, anyway." questioned the final page.
"These pages are really disturbing." thought Padme Amidala. Who do you think was creating them? And just who was the Slenderman? Was he some kind of serial killer that lurked in dark forests hunting for lumberjacks and the like? Either way, it looked like that it might be in their best interest to get out of the woods before anything horrible happened. They then noticed one of them was missing.
"Has anyone seen Jar Jar Binks? I think he wandered off again. I hope something horrible happened to him. We were planning on killing here anyway." Anakin Skywalker questioned.
"Let's hope he died gruesomely, my apprentice. That's what usually happens to him whenever he splits himself away from us, ironically enough. I still don't understand why he keeps doing that." agreed Obi-Wan Kenobi.
"But what do you think could have killed him this time? I don't understand what could kill him out here." asked Qui-Gon Jinn.
Suddenly, they heard an unearthly roaring noise, and they saw the Slenderman rushing straight towards them with his several arm tentacles.
"Run for it!" exclaimed Anakin Skywalker.
Unfortunately, Anakin was too slow, and the Slender Man teleported towards him and ripped his head off his shoulders. He then began using it as a basketball.
"Oh my force!" exclaimed Obi-Wan Kenobi.
He then threw it to our heroes, causing them all to scream like little girls.
"Oh my gods! Disembodied Anakin head!" exclaimed Padme Amidala.
C-3PO began to scan the Slender Man, and determined that he was an ancient demon that despised all good in the universe and therefore wanted to kill virtually everything in the universe. It could also transfer between cosmos in the blink of an eye.
"We are so very screwed." stated C-3PO.
R2-D2 beeped in fear. Was that what our heroes were dealing with? If so, they were probably doomed.
Our heroes, in desperation, started climbing the fence that they had used to enter the forest in the first place, but the Slender Man blocked the way.
"No!" exclaimed Obi-Wan Kenobi, who thought they were finally safe. Was fate against them? Were they all going to die from this monster?
The Slender Man then impaled Obi-Wan with one of his nasty tentacles, and Qui-Gon Jinn with another one of his overpowered tentacles. They were now both dead.
"Save yourself…" they told Padme, right before they came one with the force like they did in the first and fourth movie respectively.
Now all that was left was C-3PO, R2-D2, and Padme Amidala, who started trying to run away from the Slenderman. Unfortunately, he was rather persistent, and he simply wouldn't leave them alone. Perhaps it was because of all the pages that they had collected?
Either way, it looked like they were in trouble. Not only was he faster than them, but Padme Amidala got the feeling that a lightsaber wouldn't be a match for those deadly tentacles.
C-3PO pulled out an overly sized laser cannon from out of his head and began firing at the slender monster, but it simply phased through him. Was he some kind of ghost? He had no idea why that didn't work on him.
R2-D2 immediately wet himself as the Slender Man slowly approached them, causing oil to spill all over the floor.
Slender Man then stabbed C-3PO and R2-D2's harddrives with his tentacles, causing them both to shortcircuit and explode. Padme Amidala was the only one of our heroes left.
In desperation, Padme decided to read a book about the Slender Man Mythos (where she had gotten one, the galaxy may never know) to see if he had any weaknesses. Apparently, the only thing that could stop him was none other than Chuck Norris.
She pulled out the Book of Resurrection and used it to summon the cowboy to attack the monstrous creature. Curiously enough, they were fighting on rather equal terms.
During the confusion, she resurrected all of her deceased friends and then got the heck out of the forest before Slender Man or Chuck Norris noticed them and killed her friends again.
"I never want to go into a dark forest ever again. Especially not with him around." said Anakin Skywalker.
"Why do I even take you on vacations…they cause nothing but trouble." thought Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Fortunately, our heroes were now safe from the incredibly evil Slender Man who was always hunting and killing others…
Or were they? For all they knew, they were probably on his hit list…would they ever see him again? Our heroes certainly hoped not…but hope probably wouldn't be enough to save them from Slender Man. Would they survive a possible future encounter? Time would only tell.
And our heroes have once again thrown themselves in another life-threatening situation…once again, their foolish decisions have resulted in their deaths…
Are there any more Creepypasta monsters that you want to kill Jar Jar Binks with? Or do you want to stick to more original horror icons…then again, I've used a lot of them already, so I'm kind of running out of horror movies.
Or do you want me to stick to more original methods? We're reaching the end of this story so I figure we might as well use some of them…then again, you're probably also longing for something more creative. I do want to make the last few chapters intense, after all. There's only eight more to go.
But you should probably know that considering what the title of the story is…I've actually had a reviewer tell me to change the title so that I can kill him even more…but to be quite honest with you I'm actually running out of ideas. You can only kill Jar Jar Binks so many times before you can't think of anymore ways to kill him. Then again, there is a far larger list I found on the Internet somewhere…although it's not as detailed when it comes to killing him.