"Pt-ghe-psfttfta-bte-tsi-oof." Tony's goldmine of odd and humorous sounds ended when he hit a soft, fluffy surface, bum first and landed in a very ungraceful heap.
Tony opened his eyes, for the past 5 minutes he was falling in a cool, dark space. Now he was on a warm, violet and white cloud looking thing.
He poked himself on his head, no bleeding but bumps that would no doubt triple in size soon. Then in the crotch, all there, thank science for that, he can't go around with his manhood missing now can he?
He was still looking around trying to think where he might be.
Standing on wobbly knees, he got up on one foot then the other. A bit sore but feeling fine. That disobeys the laws of gravity vs person, but he wasn't complaining.
Taking one uneasy step, he felt that foot sink a little bit but still being able to move it. He took a few more steps when he felt the cloud like things rising to his knees.
"Aw fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking a duck." He chanted while slowly sinking in to the ground.
He could see a brown and yellow surface far beneath him and light blue around him.
"What fuckery is this?!" He yelled his voice cracking very unmanly a few times in that sentence. Then realization flowed through his face. In was in the freaking sky. He then began screaming totally not like a girl as began falling towards the earth.
…..
When Tony finally saw the earth beneath him better, a not panicking-the-hell-part of his brain knew where he was going to die was chicken coup, he mentally groaned. He would go to the "Valhalla" place Thor talked about. He was to die among chickens, at least he would be surrounded by chicks in his final moments.
While thinking about those things he was screaming.
When reaching the ground instead of feeling great pain and then death. He was greeted by a little pain and dizziness. His body was shining slightly with green light. Two different lights, one a leaf-green and the other slightly darker but just as rich in colour.
He laughed. He lived! Tony Stark will not die today!
He leaf- green light faded but the other one turned into a mixture of feathers and glue, that stuck to his skin.
Well, fuck. That was all he could think of. He took out (his still intact phone) called Mr. Happy, his driver and said.
"Happy, find me and pick me the hell up."
….
"I haven't seen Tony since we came back yesterday." Clint voiced to the eating Avengers.
They were eating lunch, only mildly worrying about their goatee- wielding member. He liked to disappear now and then, either pranks or hangovers or being in his lab.
The elevator behind the group clicked ad opened up to a very sour-faced Tony covered from head to toe with feathers.
"I'll talk about this later." He said walking in the direction of his room.
The rest of the avengers resumed their meal.