Chapter 15

Thank you for the reviews. Some good ideas are blossoming there! For the person who wanted Damon to be based on Heathcliff - brilliant idea, but unfortunately he was twenty years to late. But Damon is a 'Heathcliff'.

Sorry that this is soooo late! As soon as exams are over I will promise to update every second day!

Note – Caroline's dad is not dead.

"We need to talk."

I snapped my book shut. "Okay."

We sat in silence for a few moments.

"What almost happened earlier … it."

"It can't happen again. I know."

"Yeah .. wait, what?"

"What would be the point Damon? Think about it." I looked at him. His eyes had morphed into disbelieving blue saucers. Seeing no evidence of actual brain function, I continued. "I am twenty four years old, Damon. I have a degree and an amazing job in New York. I am up for a promotion. My life is moving forward." Still nothing. "My mom adopted me when she was twenty six, Damon. She met my dad after college and dated him for ages before they got married. I want a family and…"

He was awake now, "And I can't give you one." His eyes had turned from deep blue pools into a wild and grey storms.

"And it's not that I don't have any feelings for you, Damon. I do … its only"

"You want a family more."

My eyes began to swell up. If only he knew how late these thoughts kept me up at night, how I would toss and turn trying to decide what I wanted more. Love or a family. Damon or a baby. My baby. At that last thought the tears spilled over.

"Oh God. Don't cry Lena, please." I tried to stop but I couldn't. Damon sat up and pulled me into his lap as I buried my face in his shirt. I wanted him to say he understood. That he wanted me to be happy. But nothing came. Just silence.

When I pulled away from him, I saw that it was already pitch black outside. The only light in the room came from the light in the passage. "What if we adopted?" He asked in a soft voice.

"I … I don't want to."

"For godsake Elena. YOU were adopted and your parents loved you."

"Damon, I want a child, a baby that is MINE."

"There must be some –." He and I both realised our only other option at the same time. "No. No way. I am not raising another man's child."

"But."

"No Elena."

"You know what Damon. This is just pointless anyway." I shoved away from him and got off the bed. "You want to know why? Because I will have a child, both of us will grow old and then die. And you will be left behind. I won't stay young for ever and how could you ever bury a child? And how the hell would you explain to the child why his dad never ages, why he is always young, why he has to drink blood? Kids do notice these things Damon. And how would we explain to everyone how I am 60 and have a husband who never hit 30? Tell me." He looked dumbstruck. He just sat there, deadly silent. I shook my head, "I'm sorry," and left the room.

I wondered around the dark and silent house for hours before finally finding a chair in a dark corner to wallow in my thoughts. What I had said to Damon was true. I wanted a family. It was something that was important to me. And I could not have that with him. What I hadn't told him was that I would be fine with adoption or any other options as long as I could be with him. The truth was … I was absolutely terrified of having to make such a commitment and a choice as to whether I would live and die or become a vampire and live forever with the man I love. I was afraid of what our children's choices may be. Could I bury my child? Would Damon's love be enough?

It took only a couple of minutes for my thoughts to overcome me and for my eyes to close.

"Lena? Are you awake?" a soft voice woke me from my sleep. Someone had placed a soft blanket over me while I was asleep. I recognised it. It was the silky grey one from his room. Caroline was standing over me, her expression one of concern. Clearly she had heard our fight.

"Got the tea, Care." Matt had entered the room behind her holding a china cup in his hands.

"You know, the last time someone brought me tea, I ended up unconscious and in a truck."

He smiled sheepishly, "Yeah, sorry about that."

I smiled back, "Its fine."

"So …" sighed Care, as she sank down on the arm of the chair I was curled up in.

"You heard us."

"Yeah, I'm sorry Lena. I didn't mean to listen in but …"

"Lena, even I heard it and I'm human." Scoffed Matt.

Crap I hadn't realised that Damon and I had been so loud. "Well?"

"Well what?" they both asked in unison.

"What did you think?" I took a large gulp of the hot tea.

"About …?" prompted Care.

"About our fight? I was right wasn't I? It just wouldn't work."

"Lena, I can see where you were coming from, but Damon. He loves you. No, he really does. He was here every day after you left asking if we had heard from you, and if he wasn't pestering us he was hovering around Jeremy in case you called him."

"It was quite funny actually. The famous Damon Salvatore was whipped." Added Matt with a smirk.

The thought of Damon being whipped around anyone brought a smile to my face too.

"And after a while, he went up to New York himself to keep an eye on you. He stayed there for an entire year you know," continued Caroline.

"I didn't," I answered softly, in bewilderment. "Maybe, I should have given him a chance." Confusion crossed my face.

"Lena, I never have been Team Damon, but I think you should go and talk to him again. You were completely justified in your argument. I don't think you should give up on wanting a family to love. But you love Damon and that family should be with him. He will see sense. He knows he cannot give you a family, but he also knows that he cannot survive without you. And he's selfish. He won't give up all too easily. Even if it means loving another man's kid. You know, Stefan and I were talking about children and such after our engagement. I had always thought that I wanted kids, but now had to face the fact that I would never have them. Funnily, I was okay with that. We said we would adopt one day, but we have forever. Now I know that you and Damon are not in the same situation as us, but what I am trying to say is that … love conquers everything and will always provide you with an answer."

Caroline's muddled but touching speech was followed by silence.

Matt broke it first, "Wow, Care. Didn't know you had it in you."

She grinned, clearly pleased with herself, but the grin dropped when she looked at me. I didn't know what to say. What to think. A tear slipped from the corner of my eye. Matt, being faced with female dramatics, muttered some excuse before leaving the room, taking my empty mug with him. Once he had left, the tears fell more freely and before I knew it Caroline was pulling me into her arms and onto her lap, hugging me tightly and whispering soft comforts as she rubbed my back.

We stayed there for a good part of an hour before I pulled back and wiped my eyes with my palms. She had teared up too at seeing my distress. I smiled encouragingly, "Look at us. It's your wedding in a few days and here I am blubbering like a baby. I am supposed to be comforting you!"

"Well, you can't have everything. Now come on, we have the rehearsal dinner tonight. We have to get you dressed." Only now did I notice that her hair had been done up in an elegant bun.

I let her pull me up. She linked her arm with mine and we walked up the stairs together. "Wait, we haven't even had the rehearsal yet."

"No, that's tomorrow." When she saw my confusion she continued, "My dad is arriving later and we thought we would combine his welcome back dinner with the rehearsal one. Saving money according to Stefan." She snorted.

I just laughed.

Caroline had taken me to her room and Stefan's room to get ready as I was not ready to face Damon yet and was unaware as to where he was at this point. For all I knew he could be lurking in the corners of my bedroom still.

We chose a pale cream coloured dress with a lace bodice that came to just above my knees for me to wear. Care already had a beautiful pale pink dress with beading along the sweetheart neckline picked out with a matching pair of court shoes. I slipped on a pair of black lace covered peep toe heels which showed off my French pedicure. Caroline insisted I just left my hair down and as she can be a very demanding bride, I couldn't help but agree. Stefan arrived looking very dapper in his smart classic black suit and insisted on escorting both of the "beautiful ladies" down stairs.

Magically over the course of the day an expansive white tent had been set out over the football field sized grass beside the pool. Fairy lights wrapped around the poles holding the tent up, illuminating the tent. It was warm and slightly balmy outside, a gentle shower of rain trickled down, hence the tent which also covered a carpeted pathway from the house to the tent, protecting the guests which wandered under the tent towards the spread. Ruby red roses covered the tables accompanied by red patterned china plates and crystal glasses. Lively music was playing from the band off to the side and a few couples were swinging around the dance floor. I spotted Bonnie and Jeremy jiving in the middle of them.

"Dad!" Squealed Care as she spotted her dad standing at the end of the table talking to Carol Lockwood. She rushed over to him and threw herself into her arms.

Stefan leaned over and whispered to me, "three years ago he showed up here and they really got on well. He apologised and everything went really well. She speaks to him almost every day, much to her mom's disdain." He gave a low chuckle.

I joined him when I spotted Liz at the other end of the tent, glaring at the two of them. Some things never change. My eyes scanned the crowd, searching for a familiar face. Stefan noticed my distraction, "he's not here."

"Sorry what?" I turned to him abruptly, alarmed.

"Damon. He left earlier in his car and didn't come back."

"Oh." I felt dejected at the thought of him not coming back.

Stefan, sensing my dejection, put an arm around my shoulders and squeezed them comfortingly. "Don't worry, he'll be back tomorrow. There is no way in hell that man is missing my wedding and he can't come unless he has rehearsed. Contrary to popular belief, we vamps don't attend many weddings, especially Damon and he needs all the practise he can get." This was followed by a good humoured chuckle.

Matt came up to us and offered his hand towards me graciously, "May I have this dance Miss Gilbert?" I grinned, took his hand, and let him whirl me gracefully onto the dance floor, well as graceful as a jock could be. The night was turning out well.

Enjoy.