101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks
Well, there's only one chapter left after this one...which of course is going to be the grand finale...but before that, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization is going to kill Jar Jar Binks...
Or in this case, someone's going to do the job for them...granted, they are going to appear in this chapter...but they're not going to actually do the killing themselves this time...also, as I said previously, their base is going to be destroyed! Sucks to be them!
This is the last Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization chapter after all...so let's literally end their last chapter with a big bang!
Chapter 100: Death Star
As before, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization was plotting to kill Jar Jar Binks. But what method hadn't they already tried before? He had already died ninety-nine times,...so there wasn't really many options at that point. Just how were they supposed to kill him now?
Believe it or not, sometimes being part of an organization bent on killing horrible Gungans was hard. Granted, it was far from a bad job, but sometimes they couldn't decide just how to do the job right. They had their own opinions on how to slaughter Gungans, after all. But what could they agree on?
"What are we going to do? We can't keep killing him if we can't think up of new ideas...it seems like we've used every way that we can possibly kill him." pointed out one of the organization members.
"Maybe we could use one of our old ideas but improve it to make it even more gruesome. Have we made his head explode yet?" suggested another one of the organization members.
"I don't know. That sounds like it would be too cliche...I'd rather we do it in a way that's rather original...but just how can we do that? To be honest I don't have exactly many ideas myself..." disagreed yet another organization member.
"What are we going to do, then? We can't just leave Jar Jar Binks alive for today. That would defeat the purpose! Why do you think people call us the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization? Are we going to have to change our names to the Cute Fluffy Kitten Organization? I don't think that would work out, really." they asked.
Suddenly, the leader of the organization came by...and he looked like he was a panic. Sweat was dripping down from his face, and it looked like he wanted to tell them something. Something urgent.
"Hey boss? What's the matter?" questioned one of the members, noticing that his employer now had a face that was white as a sheet. Did he see a dead body or something? It was rather unusual that he'd be so frightened. After all, when you run an organization where you kill a Gungan in many different ways...you really can't be too squeamish.
"We've got to get out of here right now! Emperor Palpatine has ordered this planet to be destroyed! He's going to fire the Death Star to blow it to smithereens not too long from now!" exclaimed the boss.
"What?!" they screamed, all of a sudden realizing the immense danger they were in. Were they all going to die? They knew that they couldn't warn everyone about the planet exploding, to say the very least. And of course, there wasn't anything they could do about the explosion, since they didn't invent a barrier that was powerful enough to deflect giant green lasers.
Unsurprisingly, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization left the meeting room and then prepared to leave the planet so that they could escape the earth-shattering kaboom and avoid dying a horrible death.
Thankfully, they were thoughtful and made sure to pick up Anakin Skywalker and his friends so that they could escape the explosion too. They had been a big help for them after all...even though technically they had brainwashed them to do their bidding.
But in the process, they forgot about one particular person...who ironically enough they were planning to kill that day to begin with, and had already killed many times before.
"Where did everybody go? Is mesa missing out on something? Are yousa throwing a party without mesa? Mesa love parties! Don't leave mesa out!" questioned Jar Jar Binks.
Curious, he decided to look around and see if anyone was still there. Curiously enough, there wasn't, although there were crickets chirping and the occasional tumbleweed. It looked as if he were the only one left on the planet.
"Mesa feel so lonely now! Why did everyone leave mesa behind? Mesa don't want to be by mesaself. Dis is not mesa day. Mesa feel so lonely." stated the Gungan, who then began to sigh.
Again, he began to wonder why everybody had left...were they going to play bingo? Were they going to play poker? Were they going to drink beer at Moe's Tavern? Were they listening to music?
His question was answered when out of the blue, the Death Star fired its destructive green laser of doom that killed things at the center of the planet.
"What the deuce?" questioned Jar Jar Binks as he noticed the green light heading towards him. He quickly realized he was screwed, and he began to panic.
"Curse you, Emperor Palpatine! Lousy, crummy Death Star! Why couldn't it be the Life Star?! That would have been far more preferable!" exclaimed the Gungan, which was rather ironic considering that he was the one that gave him his powers.
Immediately, the planet was blown to bits...and since our least favorite Gungan was still on the planet when it exploded, he ended up being blown up too. In just a few seconds, he ended up dying.
Emperor Palpatine, who was witnessing the spectacle, laughed in triumph. He had always wanted to test the Death Star on Jar Jar Binks...and judging from the destruction of the planet it looked as if it was a brilliant success.
Granted, he had also destroyed the base of the Anti-Evil Jar Jar Binks Organization in the process which was filled with the equipment they used to slaughter him...but he decided that it was simply collateral damage. Besides, it wasn't like he really needed them anymore considering they couldn't think of any more ways to kill Jar Jar.
Nonetheless, he used his satantic powers to bring Jar Jar Binks back from the dead...so that his friends could kill him one last time and decorate their house with his blood or something like that. They sure had been hard at work.
But how would they kill him this time? Since it was the final time they were going to kill him it would have to be one of the worst ways to die in the entire galaxy...which of course would really be saying something.
That was the penultimate chapter folks...like I said, the Anti-Evil Jar Jar Binks Organization has been destroyed...or at least their base has, so it looks like Anakin Skywalker and his friends are going to have to do the job themselves...
And of course, it's going to be one final death...I sincerely hope you enjoy the finale...I in particular have been looking forward to it...even though that means I won't be writing any more chapters...
It's been kind of a long story and I've been looking forward to getting to complete it...that way you can see the ending for yourselves...