*Notice - Triggers in this chapter.

Aftermath

He had held Shikamaru close to him for what felt like forever, never loosening his hold. No words were spoken between them as Neji gently ran his fingers through Shikamaru's shortened hair, while said Nara sniffed lightly against his chest. The clock continued to tick, making Neji aware that it was now light outside; but it looked as though it was now very early in the afternoon.

Has it really been that long?

"I'm sorry." Shikamaru's soft voice broke the silence. Neji looked down at him, confused as to why he was apologizing.

"For what? You've done nothing wrong." Shikamaru was quiet for a few moments.

"I got blood all over you." He sniffed again. "And I was…" He couldn't find the words. Neji placed a finger beneath Shikamaru's chin and gently made him look up.

"That's not something you need to apologize for."

"I'm all dirty." Shikamaru muttered, looking down at himself, embarrassed. Neji smiled lightly, running his fingers through Shikamaru's hair one more time.

"Here's what we'll do." He said, drawing Shikamaru's attention towards him, a look of panic in his eyes.

"You're leaving?"

"No," Neji said firmly, causing Shikamaru to show signs of relief. Neji hesitated, now doubting his judgment. "Will you be okay being by yourself for a few minutes?" The panic was back.

"You said you weren't going to leave."

Let him finish, Child.

"I'm just going to grab a few things and I'll be right back." Shikamaru was quiet for a few moments, his dull eyes searching Neji's face. He gave a small nod.

"Yeah…I'll be fine." Neji searched Shikamaru's eyes, trying to see if he was lying. He saw that the Nara was uncertain, but not lying. His eyes darted to Shikamaru's left side.

"Let's get that taken care of first." He made to move, but Shikamaru stopped him.

"I can take care of it. I've taken care of wounds like it before." Neji felt a pang of guilt in his chest as Shikamaru pushed lightly against him to help him off the floor.

Once Shikamaru was off his lap, Neji stood and gingerly pulled Shikamaru to his feet, surprised at how light he was. Shikamaru let out a small sound of pain as the wound in his side stretched, pulling it open slightly. Neji noticed the tiredness and weariness in Shikamaru's face and eyes, but assumed it was because it was caused by the overwhelming amount of emotional stress from a few hours ago.

God, how long has it been since…?

He pushed his thoughts away as Shikamaru pushed away from him to stand on his own. He ran a hand through his short choppy hair, the wide variety of different lengths made him glance over to the chopped off hair on the floor. He scratched his forehead, noticing that the longest length of hair just graced his cheekbones. He knew the hair on the back of his head was the shortest and he suddenly felt Neji's eyes on him. He looked over at him.

"I'll be fine." He said wearily, turning away from him and gingerly walking down the hallway towards the bathroom, hanging his head in embarrassment.

"Shikamaru," Neji called gently. He stopped and looked back at him, his eyes holding no emotion. "Take a warm shower. Get in clean clothes. I'll be back as soon as I can." Shikamaru looked back at the floor and continued towards the bathroom, Neji staring after him briefly. He made his way towards the door and stepped out into the sunlight and closed the door behind him, wincing at the sudden sunlight.

He leapt over the rail and landed on the roof of a nearby building, instantly making his way back to the Hyuuga compound. Worry was etched heavily into his features as he moved as fast as he could over the rooftops; however, he felt a small spark of relief when he remembered that he left his window open.

xXxXx

"And he won't answer the door?" Tsunade clarified with her face in her hands, causing the senseis to nod.

"We considered forcing our way in…but we figured that Alecto would most likely attack us if we did." Kakashi said, making Tsunade look up at them.

"Smart move," Tsunade said, remembering what they have told her about Shikarmaru's angry counterpart. "No one else needs to get hurt because of him." The senseis heard the anger in her voice.

"Alecto's doing one of the things he was apparently born for," Kakashi started carefully. Tsunade slammed her hands on her desk.

"And what would that be?" She shouted. "Attacking people to the point where they almost die? Please, Kakashi, explain that concept to me!" Asuma came to Kakashi's defense.

"What he means is that one of the things that Alecto was apparently born to do is protect Shikamaru at all costs, even if it means hurting other people."

"He was showing physical discomfort, so Shikamaru might have been fighting against Alecto and it seemed like Alecto was able to force himself out." Asuma said thoughtfully, making Tsunade calm down slightly.

"How could all of this have happened?" She slumped back in her seat.

"It all just seemed to happen out of the blue," Asuma started. "There didn't seem to be a reason for all of this to start happening."

"No, I mean this whole Alecto thing." Tsunade corrected, rubbing her eyes. "Granted, Shikamaru acting out did seem to happen out of the blue, but how does Alecto work? How was he 'born'?"

"All we really know right now is that he's the embodiment of Shikamaru's anger."

"Plus we need to think about how Shikamaru became so angry and hateful that a whole other being had to be created to handle it." Gai reminded them, causing a collective sigh.

"But he never gave us a reason as to why he's not coming to train with everyone." Asuma said, worry evident in his voice.

"He just suddenly stopped showing up?" They nodded as Tsunade sighed heavily. "Gai, have you been able to talk to Neji about trying to get Shikamaru to open up to him?"

"Not…exactly." Gai said slowly, remembering the conversation he had with his student not long ago.

"Not exactly? Meaning?"

"When I got his attention, he seemed to know exactly what I was going to ask him."

"What would that be?"

"What Shikamaru said to him when he was trying to attack Ino." Tsunade nodded. "Neji's a brilliant kid and he's a master at keeping a very passive facial expression." They all made a sound of agreement.

"So he didn't really say anything?"

"Well, he told me what Shikamaru said and that his voice was deeper, but it seemed like there was more to it than that."

"What did he say?"

"Apparently Shikamaru only said to not touch him." Kakashi glanced over at him.

"The first time we met Alecto," He started slowly. "Neji asked if it was Alecto who told him to not touch him."

"Now that you mention it," Asuma added. "If Neji said that Shikamaru's voice seemed deeper, then it probably wasn't him who said that."

"And Alecto has a deeper voice,"

"Plus he admitted that it was him who attacked Ino." Gai said quickly, just as the office door opened and Kurenai walked in, followed by Hinata.

"Hi, Hinata, come on in." Tsunade said kindly, knowing that the girl was shy and timid. Hinata stood next to her sensei in front of Tsunade's desk, fiddling with her fingers.

"W-was there s-s-something that y-you n-needed?" She stuttered, looking at the window behind the Hokage.

"There is actually, Hinata. I need to ask you something about your cousin." Hinata's eyes darted towards Tsunade's.

"N-Neji?"

"That's the one, Dear."

"W-what would y-you like t-to ask?" Tsunade sat up in her chair, smiling slightly.

"Well Hinata, do you know where Neji is right now?" Hinata thought about it for a moment.

"W-well, I h-haven't seen h-h-him since y-yesterday." She fiddled with her fingers.

"So, you're not sure?" Hinata nodded.

"Y-yes, but w-when I did s-see him, h-he seemed to b-be b-b-bothered about s-something."

"Do you have any idea what he would be bothered about?"

"Shikamaru probably." Kurenai said, placing a hand on her students shoulder. "Everyone's been bothered by what's been happening with him lately." Tsunade nodded as Hinata looked thoughtfully down at the floor.

"W-w-w-well," Hinata started again, her stutter much worse.

"Yes Hinata?" Kurenai asked, trying to make her student as comfortable as possible.

"I t-think I s-saw h-h-him earlier t-today." Tsunade sat up in her seat.

"When?"

"When I-I was l-leaving the c-c-compound to c-come h-here."

"Was he on his way towards the compound?" Hinata nodded and coughed slightly.

"Y-yes, he w-w-was a-actually c-c-climbing into h-his b-b-bedroom window." They quirked an eyebrow.

"Around what time was this?"

"A-about n-noon, I t-think." There were a few moments of silence and Gai glanced at Tsunade's office clock.

"It's 12:45pm right now. Do you think Neji will still be at the compound?" Hinata shook her head.

"H-he doesn't u-u-usually stay at t-the c-c-compound d-during the d-day."

"Do you have an idea where he could be right now?" Hinata was quiet, looking down at the floor. They took her silence as a 'no.'

"It's alright, Hinata." Kurenai said comfortingly, leading her back towards the door.

"Thanks for your help, Hinata." Tsunade called after them, hiding her anger at not knowing where Neji was. Kakashi shoved his hands in his pockets and looked up at the ceiling.

"We can't move forward until we find Neji."

xXxXx

True to his word, Neji was back at Shikamaru's apartment in record time. He slipped off his shoes by the door and dropped his bag on the floor, walking into the living room. The apartment was quiet, so he assumed that Shikamaru had already taken a shower and was just getting dressed. He finally took the time to stop and look around Shikamaru's apartment.

His eyes landed on the kunai and hair still lying on the floor. Visions of what happened mere hours ago floated through his mind. He shook his head lightly as he noticed that Shikamaru hardly had anything that would pertain to his family and other personal aspects of his life. However, a silver frame caught his eyes on the bookshelf and he walked over and stood in front of it.

When he looked at it, he realized that it was a picture frame that held two pictures, which both showed a woman and a young child. Neji felt a small smile grace his face as he stared at the child-version of Shikamaru, his body seeming to relax at Shikamaru's bright, warm smile. As he stared at the innocent-looking child, he tried to figure out how old Shikamaru was in both of the pictures, wondering if Alecto had existed when they were taken.

Neji's eyes drifted over to the woman who shared many characteristics with Shikamaru. The woman had long dark hair that flowed down her back and bangs that hung slightly in her bright emerald green eyes. Neji realized that the woman was Shikamaru's mother; but he also realized that there was no one in either picture that resembled a father-figure.

So Shikamaru was raised by a single mother?

His smile grew slightly when he recognized the location of where the picture on the right was taken. Shikamaru and his mother were sitting on a pale-blue blanket in front of a pond in the park just inside the village. It looked as though it was early spring judging by the light jackets they both wore. Neji chuckled softly, but his heart was warmed as he saw how Shikamaru's mother held him so close to her with her arms wrapped tightly around his stomach and chest, her chin resting on Shikamaru's right shoulder. Shikamaru had his hands tugging at his mother's arm that was around his chest, his dark brown hair falling into his eyes as him and his mother smiled brightly at the camera.

It looks like he's about 8 or 9 years old when this picture was taken. Shikamaru's about 19 years old now, so if Alecto was born 14 years ago…then he was born about 4 or 5 years before this was taken.

Neji felt an odd chill run through his body.

Shikamaru has no idea that Alecto even exists at this point and it would still be a few years after this was taken that Shikamaru would meet him. Shit, Alecto's been around for 14 years but Shikamaru has only known him for 7 of those years.

His cloud-like eyes drifted to the picture on the left and he felt himself melt, although he wouldn't admit it. The picture was of Shikamaru's mother holding him as a baby. It looked like she was sitting in a window-seat with bright snow sparkling outside. She had her left cheek rested on Shikamaru's small head with her eyes closed and a small smile on her face. She had her hands securing Shikamaru's small body against her as her son slept peacefully, his tiny fists resting on her chest.

Wow…Shikamaru must only be a few months old when this picture was taken.

Neji tore his eyes away from the picture frame and looked around the rest of the apartment. He noticed that Shikamaru had books on every surface that they can lay on. Some were stacked in small piles at random places against the wall while others looked like Shikamaru was reading them, but then tossed it aside. Neji shoved his hands in his pockets and took a couple steps towards a few books that were randomly scattered on the floor and released a small chuckle as he saw books for formulating strategies and devising new ways to win strategy games and solve puzzles.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw an abnormally high pile of books and turned towards it, his curiosity spiked. He was very surprised when he realized that the pile of books was accompanied by a stack of scores for music, and was even more surprised when he saw that he was standing right next to a small, wood-polished piano.

I didn't know Shikamaru could play piano.

"My mother taught me how to play." Shikamaru's voice spoke from behind him, making him jump and look over his shoulder.

Shikamaru's damp hair hung limply around his narrow face as his dull doe eyes hid behind his shortened bangs. The thin black shirt he was wearing fell off his left shoulder and showed a little bit of his midriff as well as his bony shoulders, but his hands were almost completely hidden by the sleeves. Neji couldn't help but notice that Shikamaru had to use a safety pin to help his black running pants stay on his narrow hips.

He's thinner than I thought.

Shikamaru placed a hand self-consciously on the back of his head as he walked around the piano, pulled out the bench, and sat. He looked up at Neji, indicating for him to sit down as well. Carefully, Neji sat next to him, not saying anything. He saw how Shikamaru's hands shook slightly as he uncovered the keys.

"She started teaching me when I was six years old. I don't play as much as I used to though, but I do occasionally."

"So you've been playing for about 13 years?" Shikamaru nodded, brushing his fingertips over the keys.

"Yeah, I'm a naturally fast learner, so I was proficient at piano by the time I was about eight years old." Neji raised his eyebrows in surprised.

"Wow, that's impressive." Shikamaru was quiet and Neji wondered if he had said something wrong.

Child, we both know that the Boy does not know what kind of things to say. He doesn't know what to do…he needs you to guild this conversation.

Shikamaru began to rub his hands in his lap, his thumbs brushing over wide white lines at the base of each hand. He felt his throat tighten and his eyes become wet.

Do not push him away, Child.

Neji felt his heart jump when he heard Shikamaru sniff softly, brushing his hand briefly underneath his eyes. Shikamaru turned his head towards him, his short choppy hair blocking his eyes.

"That's my mother in those pictures." He eventually said, waving his hand vaguely towards them.

"I saw those. She seems nice."

"Seemed."

"What?" Neji asked, confused by Shikamaru's response.

"She seemed nice. Past tense." Neji felt his heart fall.

"How long ago did she…?" Neji asked carefully, not sure of Shikamaru's reaction of talking about the death of his mother.

"About 4 years ago." Neji bit his lip, having no idea what to do from here; but he knew that asking how she died would be the worst question to ask at the moment.

He hid his grief well.

Shikamaru hesitated before standing and walking over to a small cabinet to the right of the piano. When he opened the door, Neji saw that it was full with more sheets of music, even more books that he assumed were about music, and many random notebooks. He saw Shikamaru grab a small object before closing the cabinet again. Neji saw him place a small, delicate blade on top of the piano. He got the message.

Well, fuck me.

"So…your mother…used that?" He asked carefully, never having been in a situation of talking to someone about the suicide of a relative.

"When I needed her…" Shikamaru's voice came out as a growl. "She wasn't there. She never said anything about doing it, she just did." He glared darkly at the blade, gripping his hands tightly in his lap.

"Well," Neji had no idea what to say. "Oftentimes people don't talk about their intentions."

"There wasn't even a sign!" Shikamaru shouted, surprising Neji. He slammed his hands on the piano keys, causing the bizarre sounds of random keys to echo in the apartment. He breathed deeply, steadying himself.

Settle.

"She abandoned me." He said quietly, his voice was thick with unshed tears. Neji, still at a loss for words, scooted closer to him, carefully, and wrapped an arm around his small waist.

"Maybe she had a reason she couldn't tell you." He said quietly, rubbing his thumb against Shikamaru's side.

"She promised that she wouldn't leave me." Shikamaru turned towards him, his brown eyes glassy with unshed tears.

"Maybe whatever was going on…became too much for her." Shikamaru cased his eyes down and turned back towards the piano, running a hand through his drying hair.

You are doing well, Child.

Shikamaru took a deep breath as he ran his fingertips over the keys. Neji noticed that his hands began to shake slightly. A small laugh escaped Shikamaru's lips as he continued to observe the keys.

"I never really wanted to learn how to play in the first place." He admitted making Neji smile slightly.

"Why's that?" He hesitated, now looking at his hands.

"I couldn't move my fingers very well." Neji's brow furrowed in confusion as he eyed Shikamaru's face carefully.

"Why's that?" He said softly. Shikamaru hesitated again, eventually showing his hands to Neji. He held one of Shikamaru's hands gently, noticing a wide white line at the base of his hand.

"When I was…" He felt his throat tighten, feeling his emotions overwhelm him again. Neji waited patiently, knowing that Shikamaru needed time to think through his words. Neji tightened his arm around Shikamaru's waist, rubbing his thumb over Shikamaru's pulse on his wrist. Shikamaru took a deep breath and continued.

"When I was four years old…my mother remarried. I hated the stepfather." Neji frowned at the use of 'the' instead of 'my' when Shikamaru spoke of his stepfather. He was going to ask, but he didn't want to interrupt Shikamaru.

"He was a handy-man." Shikamaru continued. "He could fix anything that my mother asked him to. He was nice to her."

"Was he nice to you?" Neji pressed uneasily, feeling Shikamaru tense.

"He was never nice to me." He paused. "These," he indicated the wide white lines at the base of his hands. "Were from him." Neji's eyes examined Shikamaru, seeing that tension was leaving his body. He slightly tightened his grip on Shikamaru's hand, continuing to gently rub his pulse with his thumb.

"How did they get there?" Neji asked quietly, causing Shikamaru's dark eyes to turn up to him, their noses almost touching.

"He…" He felt his throat close again and more tears come to his eyes.

You are doing well, Child. The Boy is there with you…he will help you through this.

Shikamaru released a small whimper and brushed his hand underneath his eyes again, sniffing. Neji felt his heart sink when he felt Shikamaru pull away from him and stand, walking carefully between the piano and couch. When he was by the arm of the chair, he looked back at Neji who was sitting helplessly on the piano bench.

Neji saw the silence request in Shikamaru's eyes and he stood, walking towards Shikamaru who just collapsed on the couch. Neji let a brief small smile grace his face as he sat down at the end of the couch as Shikamaru lay on his front, facing the wall with his hair falling into his eyes. Neji remained quiet.

"The stepfather was a fucking bastard." Shikamaru said bitterly, his voice slightly muffled. "He wasn't fucking human. He manipulated people to do what he wanted and to cover his own fucking ass. Fucking bastard!" Shikamaru shouted, catching Neji off guard.

Gingerly, Neji stood and carefully sat in front of Shikamaru's face, causing Shikamaru to open his eyes. Neji slowly reached up and brushed the hair away from Shikamaru's eyes, now realizing how short it really was. Shikamaru's features seemed to soften slightly, feeling comforted by Neji stroking his hair. Neji seemed to sense this and he leaned up against the couch, running his fingers slowly through Shikamaru's hair.

"He would tie my wrists to the wall of the attic and leave me in the dark."

Whatever Neji had expected to hear, it wasn't that. He felt his anger boil at the fact that someone had tied Shikamaru up in the attic and then abandon him.

What sick bastard would do that? Especially to his own stepson?

"Why would he…?" He wasn't sure if he should've asked that question, but Shikamaru didn't break eye contact with him.

"T-that was just the way he was. He liked…hurting me." Neji did his best to not let his anger show through, knowing that he being angry was not going to do anything good.

"So he would…tie you up in the attic…and then…leave you there?" Shikamaru nodded.

I think it's why I'm scared of being close with someone. I don't want to be abandoned again.

Neji didn't know what to say as Shikamaru sniffed, burying his face in the couch. Neji carefully wrapped his arms around Shikamaru's body and gingerly pulled him onto his lap, Shikamaru instantly wrapped his arms around his neck. Neji held him close to his strong front, laying his cheek on top of Shikamaru's hair and closing his eyes. Guilt started to flow through him, making him feel like he was about to explode. He knew that Shikamaru said that his mother remarried when he was four years old, but did the abuse start at the same time?

"Shikamaru," He whispered in his ear, "when did this start?" Shikamaru sniffed again and cleared his throat.

"Not long after he married my mother." Neji scrunched his eyes shut, doing the math in his head.

Shikamaru's 19 years old now and he was four years old when his mother remarried, so that was 15 years ago. But when did the abuse stop?

"When did it stop?" Shikamaru tightened his arms around Neji's neck.

"About six months after my mom died. He abandoned me for good."

The feeling of guilt was overwhelming.

He dealt with abandonment and his mom's suicide on his own. Fucking hell.

"Shikamaru, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't do something sooner." Shikamaru turned towards him.

Sorry?

It would be hard for him to not feel guilty.

"Don't blame yourself for something like that. It's over now and that's good enough for me." Their eyes locked, but they both knew that Shikamaru was lying about being away from the stepfather was good enough.

"Where is he?" Neji asked quietly, wanting to give that man a piece of his mind.

"I don't know. I doubt he's still local." Neji's heart sank. He thought that if Shikamaru were to be placed face-to-face with his stepfather, then maybe he could have some closure.

"So...these lines," His thumb traced the wide white line on Shikamaru's wrist. "They were caused by the bindings he used to tie you in the attic?" Shikamaru nodded, turning his eyes down to Neji's thumb tracing his wrist.

"I pulled against them for a while, but." Shikamaru swallowed. "But he told me to quit fighting because I wasn't supposed to fight or talk back. Mom taught me how to play piano to regain control over my fingers. I ended up loving playing it anyway."

"So your mother knew that you were being abused?" Neji asked quickly, not believing that a mother would allow her child to be treated in such a way.

"Yeah, she knew. But she couldn't do anything because the stepfather said that he would kill me if she did anything." His eyes grew darker. "But he never hurt her."

"Did he hit you?" Neji asked cautiously, hoping that Shikamaru didn't have to endure anymore. His heart sank when Shikamaru nodded, directing his eyes back down to Neji's hand over his wrist.

"So Alecto came along to deal with the anger that you suppressed because your stepfather convinced you that you're not supposed to fight or talk back?"

"'The'." Shikamaru retorted quickly, catching Neji off guard.

"What?"

"He's not my stepfather…he's just a stepfather."

So that's why Shikamaru says 'the' instead of 'my'. He doesn't want to give him the kind of power of being a 'parenting' figure. It makes sense now why the pictures of him and his mother don't have the stepfather in them.

"But yes, Alecto was born to deal with the rage I was forced to bury; but I didn't know he existed until about seven years ago."

"And he was born 14 years ago?" Shikamaru nodded.

"When I was a kid, I wondered why I never got 'really' angry."

"Because Alecto was the anger and he never showed himself until a few years ago; and you can't really feel anger because Alecto is the embodiment of it and he's separate from you." Shikamaru nodded again.

Look at him go. Smart Boy.

What the hell was wrong with him? Why didn't he see this sooner? He should've been able to do something earlier, but he didn't…no one did. Guilt bombarded him, trying to suffocate him. Neji sighed. He had no idea what to do from here or how to handle the amount of guilt he was feeling. He felt Shikamaru move and soft fingertips placed themselves on his cheek, making him open his eyes. Shikamaru was looking up at him.

"There was nothing you could've done." He said quietly, almost like he was reading his mind. "I could've said something…but I didn't. Don't blame yourself for anything…I made sure that no one would notice."

"Why?"

"Because if someone were to do something…it would change what I've always been around. It would've made me feel out of place because the environment I was so used to would've been taken away."

"But you needed to be taken away from him." Neji said sharply, not understanding Shikamaru's logic.

"It took me a while to figure that out actually." Shikamaru said abashedly.

"You didn't know that what he was doing to you…was wrong?"

"I knew that what he was doing was wrong…I just didn't understand why it wasn't happening to anyone else." He admitted, blushing slightly. Neji placed his cheek on top of Shikamaru's head again, thinking about everything he's just said. He closed his eyes and breathed in his scent.

"Shikamaru?"

"Hmm?" Neji chose his words carefully, running his hand up and down Shikamaru's back.

"I won't abandon you." He whispered.

Neji scrunched his eyes again as he felt warm tears fall onto his neck and he grew frustrated at himself for not being able to do something to make the pain go away. Neji degraded himself for not seeing any of the signs of abuse. How could he have been so blind and stupid? Silence fell between them. He felt Shikamaru hook a thin finger onto the collar of his shirt as he relaxed on his lap, breathing steadily.

He's asleep.

He adjusted his position on the floor, careful to not wake Shikamaru. He'll have plenty of time to think about what to do since he wasn't going to leave the Nara alone.

He wasn't going anywhere, even if Shikamaru tried to get rid of him.

xXxXx

Alright Gang,

As always, patience and reviews would be appreciated!

When-Rabbit-Howls