Glance at Change
He opened his cloud-like eyes and frowned in confusion, not sure of where exactly he was or why his body felt heavy. He blinked slowly and looked down, a gentle smile forming on his face. Neji thought back to his and Shikamaru's conversation the day before and remembered the peaceful and comfortable silence that fell between them. It took a little while for Neji to realize that Shikamaru had fallen asleep during the silence and when he stood to leave, he looked back down at Shikamaru when the Nara had released a small whimper. Neji had to wake him up when he realized that he was having a nightmare; so he decided to stay with him for the rest of the evening.
Sometime during the night, Shikamaru must've curled up against him. His head was lying on his chest along with an arm and a leg was crossing his hips. He felt his face become slightly warm when he realized that he had his arm wrapped possessively around Shikamaru's narrow waist. Neji felt his face become even hotter when Shikamaru shifted and snuggled closer into him, wrapping his arm around his neck and pressing his face into the base of Neji's neck, inhaling deeply.
A bird tapped its beak against the window, making Shikamaru jump. He blinked his eyes open, confused as to what his current surroundings were. He felt a steady beating against his chest and a strong grip around his waist. Shikamaru's eyes went wide and his face flushed with embarrassment as he realized his situation:
He was snuggling up against Neji.
Do not freak out, Child. This is a very good thing.
Shikamaru rolled his eyes at Alecto's chuckle and he slowly retracted his arm and leg away from Neji, then rolling over onto his back away from Neji, fiddling with his fingers. Neji was disappointed that Shikamaru moved away from him, but he thought that he knew why Shikamaru did that. He rolled over onto his side and propped his head on his arm, gently placing his hand on Shikamaru's fiddling fingers. Shikamaru hesitantly looked up at him, his dull eyes being slightly hidden by short brown hair.
"Sorry." Shikamaru mumbled, redirecting his eyes downward.
"You didn't do anything wrong. You had a nightmare last night and I didn't want to leave you alone." Shikamaru felt his face heat up as he looked back up at Neji.
He didn't abandon you.
"I've been having them a lot lately." Shikamaru admitted. Neji felt his heart drop.
"How long has it been exactly?" Shikamaru looked back down at his hands, remaining quiet. Neji used the arm underneath his head to get Shikamaru's attention; he used his hand to gently tug at Shikamaru's hair, indicating for him to look back up.
"A couple of days." Neji blinked.
"So since," He hesitated, not sure if his word choice would be the best at the moment; but he figured that it would help Shikamaru to hear the actual words.
"Since?" Shikamaru pressed, not understanding his hesitation.
"You've been having nightmares since your breakdown." Silence fell between them as Shikamaru blinked his dull eyes up at him. Neji felt his heart break when he saw them become glassy, now making him regret his words.
He is trying to help you, Child.
He's rubbing it in my face.
No he is not. He is putting the name to what happened. This is going to help you, Child.
Shikamaru was quiet.
You had a mental breakdown, Child.
"Yeah." Shikamaru said, nodding slightly.
Feeling bold, Neji wrapped an arm around Shikamaru's waist and rolled him back towards him, barely able to catch the small brief smile on Shikamaru's face. Shikamaru laid his head back on Neji's chest and draped an arm and a leg over his middle. With one arm wrapped possessively around Shikamaru's narrow waist, Neji placed his other hand on Shikamaru's head, using his fingertips to lightly fiddle with Shikamaru's short choppy hair. Shikamaru tried to suppress a smile as he buried himself deeper into Neji's hard chest.
This is nice.
"What was is about?" Neji asked carefully, tightening his grip on Shikamaru's waist. The younger man was quiet for a few moments.
"Our comrades and senseis." Neji's eyes briefly widened.
"What happened?" Shikamaru sniffed.
"Some of them attacked me and started yelling at me." He tightened his grip on Neji's shirt. "They said that I was a horrible person for what I've done and that they hated me. They told me to leave them forever." Neji wrapped his other arm tightly around Shikamaru's shoulders, trying to soothe him.
"Shikamaru, it was a nightmare. They wouldn't do something like that."
"Some of them would." Shikamaru retorted quickly, his voice becoming thicker. Neji thought for a moment, choosing his words carefully.
"Maybe seeing them can prove that wrong." Neji said softly, not sure if pushing Shikamaru that much can break him down again.
That is a good idea.
I don't think so. I don't want to see them.
I do not think that the Boy means for you to have an actual conversation with them. I think he means that at least seeing them will help you.
No.
Only a brief encounter, Child. It will help you.
No.
The Boy will be there with you.
Shikamaru hesitated.
Look at what he has done for you thus far. He stayed with you throughout the night, making sure that you did not have another nightmare.
He paused.
You didn't have a nightmare, did you?
Shikamaru shook his head, making Neji look back down at him. Neji kept holding onto Shikamaru tightly as he thought that Shikamaru was just talking to Alecto as silence fell between them again. Neji stroked Shikamaru's hair slowly, making Shikamaru close his eyes blissfully, enjoying the feeling. He thought of Alecto's words as Neji's fingers continued to run through his hair, making him feel at peace. He sighed.
"I don't really want to move." Shikamaru said finally.
"You don't have to. Just stay right here." Shikamaru bit his lip, gently grabbing a small part of Neji's shirt.
"No, I mean…I don't want to move to go to the training grounds." Neji's heart stopped as his fingers froze in Shikamaru's hair. Did Shikamaru just say that he actually wants to see his comrades and sensei? He ran his fingers through Shikamaru's hair again.
"So you don't mind if they come back here?"
"Not everyone." Neji nodded.
"Of course not."
"I don't want Naruto and Ino here." Neji understood his reasoning and hesitated.
"Will you be okay while I'm gone?" Shikamaru tensed.
He's not abandoning you. He will come right back.
What if he doesn't? What if this is his chance to leave?
"I'll be right back." Neji whispered into his hair. "I won't abandon you." Shikamaru thought for several moments before patting Neji's chest.
"I'm not going anywhere."
xXxXx
"Come on, Billboard-Brow!" Ino shouted arrogantly as she landed another punch on Sakura, making her fall to the ground.
"Shut up, Ino-Pig!" Sakura yelled back, tripping her from her place on the ground.
"So, we got Naruto and Sasuke's rivalry and we have Sakura and Ino's rivalry. Gai and Kurenai, we need a student from each of your teams to have a rivalry to call this even." Kakashi concluded, making them chuckle.
Asuma's eyes brushed over Ino and Choji; he knew that not having Shikamaru around was tearing them apart. All 3 of his students shared a deep bond that was more than teammates and no one understood why Shikamaru would disappear without telling anyone. Asuma could tell that the guilt of some of their students was taking a toll on them; especially Naruto and Ino.
"Naruto! You are a formidable opponent! But this is where I unlock the Fountain of Youth and defeat you!" Lee shouted just as he fist collided with Naruto's face, sending him forcibly into the ground.
"Wonderful work, Lee!" Gai shouted, giving his student the thumbs-up.
"Thank you, Gai-Sensei!" Lee shouted back, returning the thumbs-up.
"Are you two sure you're not twins?" Naruto asked dizzily as he pulled his way out of his hole in the ground.
"Most certainly, Naruto. Allow me to help you." He grabbed Naruto's hand and pulled him up to his feet with little effort.
"Alright, Gang. Come on over here for a minute." Kakashi said and they walked over to the senseis, panting.
"You guys are falling back into your same habits." Kakashi said in a song-like voice, tucking his book behind him.
"What do you mean?" Naruto shot back, his temper instantly flaring.
"Shut up, Naruto." Sasuke said, rolling his eyes at him. Naruto growled and turned towards him, fists clenched.
"What did you say you arrogant, selfish, black-haired jackass?" Naruto growled, grabbing Sasuke's attention instantly. They were in each other's face, glaring heatedly at each other; both of their prides bruised.
"Guys, cool it. We don't need—"
"It looks more blue than black to me." A calm voice said, scaring them. They looked around, but found that no one was around them.
"Where are you?" Naruto barked, his blue eyes darting around him.
"It shouldn't be difficult to find me, Naruto."
"How the hell do you know my name?" Everyone instantly turned towards the tree behind the senseis as they heard the leaves rustle. They looked from the trunk to the branches above their heads, but didn't see anyone.
"Where are you?"
"Right above Asuma-Sensei's head." They turned towards their attention to that area just as Neji popped his head out from the leaves, looking innocently at them.
"Where the hell have you been? First Shikamaru disappears and then you do!" Ino shouted, anger radiating from her. Neji raised an eyebrow at her.
"I'm not answering any questions until you calm down." Neji said as he slowly lowered himself to the ground.
They were surprised to see Neji in a different way than what they're used too. His light blue jeans hung on his hips and his green tank top outlined his upper body and his long hair was pulled into a messy bun near the base of his neck. They were surprised that Neji had left his forehead bare, allowing the cursed seal to show slightly through his bangs that fell into his cloud-like eyes.
"Neji, we're just surprised to see you, that's all." Gai said, Neji's face returned to its usual passive state.
"Would you be surprised to see Shikamaru?"
"Of course!" Ino and Choji responded instantly. Neji's eye twitched in irritation.
And yet you didn't fight for him.
"Well, you're lucky. Here's your chance." Asuma's brow furrowed.
"Wait," Neji turned towards him. "You know where Shikamaru is?" Neji nodded.
"He's been in the same place all of you were looking."
"His apartment?" Neji nodded. "He let you in there?"
"No, I broke in." They raised an eyebrow at him.
"You broke into Shikamaru's apartment?" Choji asked with a slight tone of disbelief in his voice.
"He wouldn't have let me in if I just knocked."
"That's what he did with everyone who went to his apartment." Ino added. "He just ignored us."
Neji felt his temper flare and he tucked his hands into his front pockets, causing part of his midriff to show. He assumed that some of them felt bad about their treatment of Shikamaru and because he was currently getting pissed off, he decided to rub it in.
"I refused to be ignored." Neji said coldly. "We all knew that something was going on with Shikamaru and when he disappeared, it was possible that things were getting dangerous." Ino glared at him.
"We're not stupid, Neji! We all knew that!"
"Then why didn't you fight for him?" Neji retorted instantly, catching Ino off guard. Asuma cleared his throat.
"Our primary reason for not breaking into Shikamaru's apartment is because we didn't want to be confronted by Alecto." He paused. "And Alecto seems to prefer you over everyone else here."
"That shouldn't be why you didn't try to get to Shikamaru. Alecto has to get through Shikamaru and even then, Shikamaru puts up a fight against Alecto before he can break out." They noted Neji's cold tone of voice and facial expression.
Neji's getting pissed.
"What's been going on?" Choji's voice broke the silence, making Neji looking over at him.
"Since early last week?" They nodded.
Neji had to think through his response carefully, not wanting to tell them anything that Shikamaru has disclosed to him over the past couple weeks. He also had to tell Naruto and Ino that Shikamaru doesn't want to see them. He knew that Naruto and Ino had explosive tempers, so he honestly wasn't sure how they would react to Shikamaru's demand. Neji also had to factor in Shikamaru's health, especially since it's only been 2 weeks since the breakdown. He wasn't sure if Shikamaru coming face-to-face with other people was a good idea, but he couldn't back out of it now. Plus he would be there to protect Shikamaru, but there was only so much he could do. And with the way Shikamaru has been over the past couple of weeks, anything can send Shikamaru over the edge.
"Do you want to go see him?" Asuma, Choji, and Ino looked hopefully up at him.
"Yes!" Ino and Choji shouted.
"I want to go see him." Sakura said kindly. "He's a good guy and it's been kind of weird not having him around."
"Let's go!" Naruto shouted, jumping to his feet. Neji's anger faded and his gently bit his lower lip. Gai noticed his student's discomfort.
"Neji, what is it?" Neji rolled onto the platforms of his feet and then back down.
"Shikamaru said something before I left to come here."
"What would that be?" Neji hesitated and looked over and Naruto and Ino.
"Shikamaru doesn't want you two to be there." Naruto and Ino looked as devastated as they felt. Ino felt her eyes become wet as Choji rubbed her back.
"Why doesn't he want to see us? I'm his teammate!" Ino cried. Neji sighed with slight frustration.
"Think about it, Ino." Ino's face fell and she looked down at her lap. "There's been…conflict between you. Shikamaru can't deal with certain things right now."
"What does that mean?" Asuma asked quickly.
"If you see him, you'll understand." Silence fell around them and Asuma, Choji, and Sakura stood.
"Billboard-Brow, why are you going?" Sakura looked calmly back down at Ino.
"Shikamaru and I have always gotten along, but I shouted at him and was terrible to him." Her face saddened. "I feel bad about that. I need to at least make him hear my apology, even if he doesn't accept it." Neji hid his slight smile as he turned away from the group and led Asuma, Choji, and Sakura back towards Shikamaru's apartment.
xXxXx
They stopped in front of Shikamaru's apartment and Neji unlocked the door. The other's eyes drifted around Shikamaru's dark apartment, surprised by the amount of books that lay around and the piles stacked at random places next to the walls. They had no idea that Shikamaru read so much nor did they know that he played piano.
"Have a seat." Neji said as he walked down the hallway.
"Why is it so dark in here?" Sakura asked quietly, sitting down at the end of the couch.
"It could just be a preference." Asuma said. "Or it could help the situation somehow."
"But what exactly is 'the situation'?" Neji ignored them.
He walked into Shikamaru's bedroom and found him staring at the closet door with his blanket wrapped tightly around him. His eyes were red and tear stains were on his face. His short hair made a messy halo on his pillow and found that the alarm clock was in pieces on the floor after what seemed to be Shikamaru throwing it at the wall.
Neji sat down on the side of his bed and Shikamaru made eye contact with him, but quickly broke it and pulled the blanket more over his face. Neji quirked an eyebrow at Shikamaru's discomfort at seeing him as the Nara continued to hide from him. Neji gently grabbed the top of Shikamaru's blanket and attempted to pull away from Shikamaru's head, but was surprised when the younger man resisted.
"Shikamaru?" Neji asked quietly, having a tinge of worry in his voice. Shikamaru remained quiet and sniffed, exhaling slowly. Neji shook him gently. "Shikamaru, what's wrong?"
Shikamaru shifted and coughed lightly, causing a strange rattling sound to briefly echo in the room. Neji's brow furrowed and he became more forceful in trying to get Shikamaru to come out of hiding. He sensed Shikamaru become frustrated and was surprised when Shikamaru reached out from underneath his blanket and forcefully slapped away Neji's hand, making a sound of annoyance as well as another rattling sound.
"Shikamaru," Neji repeated, with a slight edge in his voice. Shikamaru sniffed and huffed, throwing the blanket off of his head and glared heatedly up at Neji with dark eyes.
"What?" Neji was thrown off by the sharpness in Shikamaru's voice.
"What's going on? What's that rattling sound?" Shikamaru's eyes narrowed.
"Does it matter?"
"Yes." Shikamaru couldn't hide his surprise in time at Neji's instant and honest response. He huffed again and shifted underneath his blanket, snuggling into his pillow.
Neji patiently waited as Shikamaru reached behind him, searching for something as more rattling filled the room. Shikamaru let out another puff of irritation and rolled over onto his side, away from Neji as the rattling sound died down and Shikamaru lay still. Neji almost let out his own sigh of irritation and frustration at Shikamaru's unusual behavior. Carefully, he stood from Shikamaru's bed and knelt on the mattress, leaning over Shikamaru's small body.
Against his better judgment, Neji gripped Shikamaru's blanket and pulled it away with more force than usual. Shikamaru growled and turned his dark eyes up to Neji, glaring at him through the curtain of his short brown hair. Neji ignored the chill that went through his spine as he stared deeply into Shikamaru's eyes, making the Nara slowly turn his face towards him. Shikamaru's glare was replaced with a sad, defeated look. Neji started to feel more concern in Shikamaru's drastic change in behavior due to the fact that the Nara was once aggravated and frustrated, but now seemed to be defeated and lost.
Alecto had absolutely nothing to do with Shikamaru's aggravation, I'm sure of that.
"Shikamaru, what's up?" Neji asked carefully, feeling his own irritation at Shikamaru's stubborn behavior fade away. Neji placed a comforting hand on Shikamaru's shoulder, rubbing his arm gently. Shikamaru bit his lower lip as he redirected his eyes to the window, feeling embarrassed. Neji remained quiet and patiently waited for Shikamaru to make the next move. Their eyes locked again.
"I have control. It's not a problem." Shikamaru mumbled, his eyes becoming slightly glassy. Neji's brow furrowed in confusion.
Oh Child, you're not in control anymore.
"What's not a problem?"
Shikamaru bit his lip again as he fought back the wave of emotions that started to crash down on him. He shifted his arms and reached again for something underneath his blanket, causing the rattling sound to echo in the room again. Before Neji could clearly see what Shikamaru grabbed, he briefly saw 4 bright blurs fly over his head and crash onto the floor; which caused a louder rattling sound and then silence.
Neji saw Shikamaru sniff and turn away from him, facing the wall as he scratched his left arm. Neji turned towards what Shikamaru had thrown and was surprised to see that the bright objects were actually medication bottles. He carefully stood and walked over to them, picking them up off the floor to examine their labels. His brow furrowed when he didn't recognize any of the names or their purposes.
"They help." Shikamaru mumbled as he sniffed again. Neji walked back over to him, placed the capsules on his nightstand and sat next to Shikamaru's slim frame.
"How so? What do you take them for?" The Nara was quiet and Neji mentally kicked himself, thinking that he asked a question that would make Shikamaru clam up.
"I'm not really supposed to take them."
"So you don't get them from a doctor?" Shikamaru nodded.
So he was never prescribed them? So if he wasn't prescribed them, how did he start taking them?
"How did you start on them then if a doctor didn't give them to you?"
"I just thought of anything that could help me, so I turned to that."
"Help with what?" Neji asked before he could stop himself. Shikamaru was quiet.
"Things in general."
So taking medication that he's not supposed to is his way of coping with the things going on in his life. Makes sense since drugs are a common coping mechanism. So Shikamaru doesn't take these drugs for something specific. He takes them because he feels that they bring some kind of comfort.
"What kind are they? What are they usually prescribed for?" Shikamaru coughed lightly, causing Neji's ears to perk at the slight wet sound in his cough.
"They're just anti-convulsants and sleeping pills." Neji was honestly thrown off by the casual tone in Shikamaru's voice.
Anti-convulsants are used for a wide variety of mental issues, but from what I know, they're powerful stuff. Sleeping pills are obviously for insomnia and other sleeping issues. Shikamaru taking sleeping pills make more sense than him taking anti-convulsants.
"It's not a problem." Shikamaru said quietly. Neji quirked an eyebrow at him.
"Taking medication you're not prescribed isn't a problem?" Neji asked carefully, a slight challenging tone in his voice. Shikamaru shook his head, sitting up and facing him.
"I'm in control of it." He said quietly, running a hand through his choppy hair.
"You're in control of taking pills and hurting yourself?" Neji asked, placing a ginger hand on Shikamaru's knee. Shikamaru nodded, a slightly confused look on his face.
He truly thinks this self-destruction isn't a problem.
"Shikamaru, if you were truly in control of this, then you would stop doing it on your own." Shikamaru felt his body freeze at the thought.
It's not a problem if I have control.
But you don't have control over any of this anymore, Child. When you hurt yourself, that's not control. It's a lack of control.
Shikamaru fiddled with his fingers, eyes darting between Neji's hand on his leg and the door. He needed to get away from this conversation.
"Are they here?" Shikamaru asked quietly. Neji patted Shikamaru's leg gingerly, preparing himself for Shikamaru's unknown reaction to seeing other people.
"Yeah, Asuma, Sakura, and Choji are here." Shikamaru looked up at him with a slightly confused look.
"Sakura's here?" Neji nodded.
"She feels bad for how she's acted towards you." Shikamaru nodded, not seeming to be upset about Sakura. Shikamaru blinked slowly, Neji seeing the heavy weariness that started to settle in on Shikamaru's face.
Some of the medication might be kicking in. By the looks of it, he took some of it when I was out. He doesn't look like he can stay awake long enough to even face Asuma, Choji, and Sakura.
He heard a slight groan and felt some movement as Shikamaru stood. Neji was barely able to see a small red line on Shikamaru's left wrist before the Nara could hide it. Gingerly, Neji grabbed Shikamaru's arm so he could clean it, figuring that the wound opened when Shikamaru scratched it.
Neji reached into the small plastic bag he kept in Shikamaru's nightstand that was full of bandages and disinfectant. He was glad to see that Shikamaru wasn't resisting against him as much as he used to. Neji had figured out early last week that the reason why he had a red line on his hand was because when he gripped Shikamaru's wrists, some of the wounds came open.
Silence continued to surround them as Neji finished patching up Shikamaru's wrist and placed the supplies back in the nightstand drawer. Shikamaru fiddled with his fingers as his short choppy hair hid his face. He felt Neji stand and turned his head towards him, his hair still hiding his face. Slowly, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood, shuffling over to his closet for a baggy sweater; he felt Neji's eyes follow him.
Slipping the baggy dark green sweater over his head, he caught his reflection in the mirror. He scratched his nose as he noticed that he had to pinch the waistband of his black running pants more so that they wouldn't slide down his hips. The sweater hid his thinning frame and the majority of his hands, kind of making him look as though the sweater was eating him. He ran a hand through his short choppy hair, making it fall back into his eyes and around his cheekbones. He turned towards Neji.
"Fuck it. Let's go."
xXxXx
Asuma, Choji, and Sakura continued to look around Shikamaru's tidy apartment, honestly surprised that it was as well organized and clean as it was. But what made them even more surprised when they saw the massive amount of books that Shikamaru had and the fact that there was a small piano behind the couch and pushed against the wall.
They looked up when they heard 2 sets of footsteps coming down the hall, feeling their hearts race because of their anticipation to see Shikamaru. They heard Neji and Shikamaru stop at a room and flicked on the light, making them assume that they stopped at the bathroom; but they became confused when they heard a slight rattling sound and some mumbles. After a few minutes, they heard Neji and Shikamaru walk down the hall again and enter the living room.
Whatever condition Asuma, Choji, and Sakura expected to see Shikamaru in, it certainly wasn't what they were looking at now. They didn't expect to see Shikamaru as frail and broken as he was. The baggy dark green sweatshirt prevented them from seeing the extreme thinness of his upper body and arms, and the fact that Shikamaru had to safety pin the top of his running pants to keep them from sliding off his hips was thankfully hidden.
My God, Shikamaru. What the hell happened to you?
Asuma felt his throat become tight at the sight of his broken, rundown student. The only part of his body that they were really able to see thoroughly was his head, which Shikamaru seemed to be having a good bit of trouble keeping it up. Sakura's eyes softened when she looked at Shikamaru's now choppy, cheekbone-length hair that fell into dull, weary eyes.
"Where's the one we're working on?" Shikamaru asked, his voice tired and dull.
"I think I left it near the piano." Neji said as he walked to the kitchen. Shikamaru sighed, not paying attention to the others. Asuma was taking steady breaths, making sure that he didn't allow his emotions to overwhelm him.
Shikamaru looked around the room and shuffled over to the stack of books near the door and looked down at the piles, not acknowledging Asuma, Choji, and Sakura. They weren't sure how to react around Shikamaru since they've never seen him in this condition before, but they heard him let out a small groan as he gingerly knelt down in front of one of the piles and started looking through the books.
"S-Shikamaru, do you need some help?" Choji offered, stepping forward so that he was standing next to his friend. The Nara didn't respond to his question as he continued to shuffle through the books on the floor. Choji bit his lower lip nervously…he wanted to talk to his friend…at least make him look at him. Carefully, he laid a hand on his back.
"Don't touch me!" Shikamaru said sharply, standing and whirling his attention towards him. Choji didn't know how to react when Shikamaru's eyes glared at him, almost like he was staring straight through him. Shikamaru took a step towards him, still glaring at him.
"Find it yet?" Neji asked as he walked into the living room, placing a coffee mug on top of the small bookshelf. "I'm sorry, did you guys want anything?" He asked the others, who kindly declined. They heard Shikamaru growl.
"No, I haven't found it yet. Where the hell could it be?" He lightly kicked over the stack of books he was sifting through, causing the pile to spill over. He sighed heavily and picked up the book on the bottom of the pile. "I found it." Shikamaru released another small groan as he stood.
"It was at the very bottom?"
"Yeah, and we lost our spot."
"Don't worry, we'll find it." Neji said, now sitting on the arm of the couch next to Sakura.
"What is that?" Sakura asked, doing her best to keep her voice soft and kind. Shikamaru turned his attention towards her and felt a very bizarre vibrating sensation in his temples, making his body feel as though it was stalk-stiff.
He's never noticed it until now. Sakura's eyes looked very similar to someone's he used to know. He clenched his teeth and felt his eyes grow glassy with anger as he realized who Sakura reminded him of:
His mother.
His mother's eyes were bright green and they sparkled for the majority of the time he remembered seeing them. He saw her long dark brown hair flowing down her back. He heard his mother's voice, her laugh. He heard her read to him. He felt her hands over his as she showed him how to play a certain song on the piano. He felt her arms wrap around his small body, trying to make the tremors go away. He saw her lying on her bed, covered in her blanket. He saw a small blade in her hand. He saw her pale skin and blue lips. He felt the coldness of her skin in his hand.
His saw his mother's dead body.
Shikamaru snarled at Sakura, angry tears now welling in his eyes and slowly rolling down his cheek. Neji pushed himself off the couch, knowing that Shikamaru was going to do something. Shikamaru felt the hatred towards his mother swell within him, making feel like he was on fire.
"You bitch." He hissed at Sakura, taking everyone by surprise. However, Sakura became angry at him and placed her hands on her hips. Everyone felt her anger flow through the room. She was like Tsunade. She was known for her anger and usually got her way when she was angry.
"What did you just say to me?" She yelled, taking a few steps towards him, not caring about the current condition that Shikamaru was in.
"You fucking bitch! You abandoned me!" Sakura was taken aback by this.
Abandoned? I didn't go anywhere.
"Shikamaru, I didn't go anywhere!" She yelled back.
"You left me behind!" Shikamaru screamed as Neji hurried over to him and gently wrapped an arm around his narrow waist as he pulled him back, realizing that he was approaching Sakura slowly.
"Shikamaru, what the hell are you talking about?" Sakura asked, her voice laced with anger and confusion. Neji looked at her from behind Shikamaru, shaking head lightly as he stared at her from over Shikamaru's shoulder, silently telling her to not push Shikamaru anymore. She saw Neji's silent warning, but didn't feel her anger dissipate. Neji wrapped his other arm around Shikamaru's slim waist and pulled him back against him as he felt Shikamaru try to advance towards Sakura. He held Shikamaru close to him, attempting to get Shikamaru to calm down and not try to hurt Sakura…even though he was sure that he wouldn't be able to anyway because of his current condition.
"Shikamaru…Sakura didn't abandon you." Neji said quietly into his ear. He felt Shikamaru try to get near Sakura.
"She left me behind."
"Shikamaru," Neji repeated. "She didn't leave you. No one has left you."
"She left me behind." Shikamaru said in a voice barely above a whisper.
Neji's brow furrowed slightly as he tried to think of why Shikamaru was saying that Sakura left him. It didn't make any sense, but his thoughts were interrupted and his heart skipped a beat when Shikamaru's legs gave way and he collapsed. Neji barely caught the Nara before he hit the ground and he gently lifted the small man into his arms.
"Hang on." Neji said quietly to the others, briefly looking at them. He began to walk down the hallway when something caught his eye:
The pictures of Shikamaru with his mother.
He narrowed his eyes as he stared at Shikamaru's mother and it clicked:
Shikamaru's mother had bright green eyes. [1]
I guess he was seeing Sakura as his mother because they both have green eyes, but why now? He's known Sakura for quite a while, so why would he react to seeing Sakura like this now? It makes sense for Shikamaru to make that comparison between his mother and Sakura, but why would it click now?
He sighed as he continued to stare at the pictures, but a realization hit him painfully:
He would have to tell the others what has happened in the past couple weeks.
He sighed again and looked back at them. With Shikamaru's head nestled in the crook of his neck, he looked down at them with a relatively somber expression.
"Let me put him in bed and I'll be right back."
xXxXx
Alright Gang,
[1]: Yes, I did give Shikamaru's mother green eyes just because I wanted too.
As always, patience and reviews/PMs would be greatly appreciated!
When-Rabbit-Howls