"Welcome to My Happy World, now get your shit and leave."

Tiny Step

He sat on the roof of Shikamaru's apartment building with his legs dangling over the ledge as his lilac-colored eyes stared up at the twinkling stars. He thought about what he learned from Alecto about a week ago, still figuring out what to do from here. He didn't understand the unbearable need that Shikamaru had to hurt himself. He didn't understand what it was like to be so uncomfortable that he wanted to claw himself out of his own skin.

He couldn't protect or save Shikamaru from himself.

Neji had began to worry that the isolation that Shikamaru has engaged with would worsen his health. They would stay in Shikamaru's apartment all day, Neji going out for brief periods of time while Shikamaru slept.

Over the past 4 weeks, not only has Shikamaru changed, but he has as well. Granted, Shikamaru's change in behavior and health is much different than what Neji was experiencing, but Neji was slightly surprised when he realized the slight changes in himself. He expressed much more emotion than he ever has in his life, and he was a bit uneasy about Sakura noticing it. His already long span of patience had increased over the course of his stay with Shikamaru. He knew that Shikamaru would take quite a long time to show improvement and recover, and he willingly stayed with the younger man every single day.

He was protective of Shikamaru, he and Alecto both knew it. His face felt hot at the thought of Alecto knowing his feelings towards Shikamaru.

If Shikamaru and I become something down the road...it would make sense that Alecto will be along for the ride.

Neji hesitated for a moment, his cheeks becoming more hot.

I wonder how much separation there is between Shikamaru and Alecto.

He noticed that he was opening up more about himself to Shikamaru. Even though Shikamaru didn't talk very often and was very quiet when he did so, Neji knew that Shikamaru was listening; he even found himself voicing his insecurities, fears, and frustrations. He had become very emotionally attached to the broken man that he has spent four weeks with, finding that he ran errands much quicker than he usually does and wasn't out of the apartment as often as he used to be.

He continued to stare up at the stars that twinkled back at him; his mind occupied by the younger man a few floors below him. He was exhausted and mentally worn out, but he had to remain strong for Shikamaru's sake. He knew he could remain strong for Shikamaru, he had no doubt about that, but that didn't mean that he couldn't feel some form of fatigue. He was determined to make sure that Shikamaru gets better, no matter how long it took. He was dedicated to the Nara physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Neji smiled slightly.

He never had a true emotional connection with anyone; never felt a sense of unwavering dedication to another person. How Shikamaru was able to change that without knowing it was beyond him, but he knew that he couldn't let Shikamaru go no matter how much the younger man pushed him away.

He wasn't going anywhere.

Although Shikamaru was quiet much more often, Neji was relieved that he would open up bit by bit about his past and thoughts. Neji had lost count of how many times he would sit on Shikamaru's bed, leaning against the wall with Shikamaru's legs across his lap as Shikamaru stared at the wall or ceiling, just speaking about whatever was on his mind. Neji would listen intently to every word that Shikamaru spoke, not only to be supportive and because he wanted too, but also because he had a strong feeling that some of the things the Nara said had a deeper meaning.

Never in his life did Neji think that he would become so strongly attached to anyone, much less someone like Shikamaru. Whenever Shikamaru slept, Neji would think back to when they first met; not believing that the person he met back then was the same person that lay broken underneath his blanket, as though making a barrier between him and reality.

Even after the first few days of staying with Shikamaru, he knew that there were so many sides to him that no one has ever seen; sides that people didn't know existed. He realized that behind the laid-back, whimsical, lazy, unmotivated façade, laid the person that Shikamaru truly was, but didn't want people to know exist. No longer did Neji see the Nara in the light that everyone else did; he no longer saw him as unmotivated and lazy, but now saw the true strength of Shikamaru's character.

Shikamaru is nowhere near lazy…he just pretends he's lazy because he's always had to fight for his life.

Shikamaru endured years of abuse, but he hid it so well that even the most observant people didn't notice. At home, Shikamaru bared scars too numerous to count. And yet he was able to put on a façade of a lazy, unmotivated, laid-back genius with the skill and precision of a professional; but behind the carefully formulated façade, laid the person who Shikamaru refused to show anyone.

The true Nara was broken.

He was abandoned.

Lost.

The true Shikamaru spent countless hours silently screaming for help that was not delivered. Spent more countless hours crying alone, feeling the nightmares coming to haunt him; feeling the suffocating loneliness tighten its grip on him.

The true Shikamaru was locked away from the world, silently hoping that the sweet kiss of Death would take him away as he felt the sting from fresh cuts or the influence of medication.

Shikamaru had suffered in ways that Neji honestly couldn't wrap his mind around. But the most painful part for him was knowing that Shikamaru had suffered in silence.

Shikamaru's silent screams for rescue went unheard.

And yet, despite all that Shikamaru endured, he hid the pain and hid it very well. Shikamaru silently endured years of cruel abuse, but was able to keep it to himself and away from the prying eyes of the world in which he lived.

That is the true strength of Shikamaru.

The Nara's strength of endurance was unlike anything Neji had ever even heard of or thought existed.

Neji scowled slightly as he stared up at the stars. The people of the village practically admired people like him and Sasuke, when they really should be admiring a person like Shikamaru for his strength of immeasurable endurance. People only looked up to people like him, Sasuke, and some of the others of the teams because of their skills and strength. Shikamaru is just seen as the lazy genius, when in reality, he is the strongest one out of all of them.

He sighed lightly as another light breeze came, blowing more bangs into his eyes. Neji reached up and pulled the hair tie that held his hair in a messy bun near the base of his neck; his brown hair cascaded down his back as he rubbed his eyes wearily. Neji redirected his eyes back up to the sky, smiling lightly as he remembered one of Shikamaru's favorite hobbies:

Cloud gazing.

I should take him back to his favorite hill some time. The fresh air and sunshine would do him some good.

As time passed, he felt his feelings grow stronger and stronger for Shikamaru. He never felt this kind of feeling and attachment to someone before and it honestly frightened him at first. He realized as time passed that he was falling more and more in love with Shikamaru, but he felt that Shikamaru wasn't in a place at the moment to handle such emotion and an intimate relationship.

Feelings can change.

He sighed quietly and swung his legs back towards the roof, standing slowly. He walked towards the door that led down to the apartments and began to descend them; going back to the strong broken person below.

NejiXShikamaru

"It's been a month." Ino said as she stirred her ramen aimlessly as she rested her head in her hand.

"Yeah, and Neji said he would be in touch." Choji said bitterly, staring at his empty bowl, surprising the others by the bitterness in his voice.

"True, and Neji isn't the kind of person who doesn't follow through with what he says." Sakura paused. "But maybe he has a reason for not talking to us since we saw him and Shikamaru a couple weeks ago." Choji scoffed quietly.

"I'd love to know his damn reason for not telling us anything about Shikamaru."

"He told us some things." Sakura tried to reason.

"He barely told us anything!" Choji said loudly, becoming more frustrated by the lack of knowledge about his best friend. They were quiet for a few moments.

"N-N-Neji," Hinata started, drawing everyone's attention to her.

"Yeah, Hinata?" Naruto asked, making the girl blush heavily.

"H-He is very c-c-calculative and p-perceptive. I-I'm sure he k-knows full well w-what he's doing e-even if we d-d-don't understand his r-reasoning behind h-his silence."

They all sat in silence, thinking about what Hinata said and realizing that she had a good point. Even though Neji never talked about himself, it was obvious that he was everything that Hinata just said and more.

"She's right," Kiba said, slumping back in his seat. "I'm not his biggest fan, but that doesn't mean I don't like him. He's reclusive, sure, but if myself or anyone else here were in danger…I'm sure we would agree that Neji would be one of the few people we would depend on to help us out."

Hinata looked down at the table to hide her smile, feeling her pride of her cousin rise at the honesty in Kiba's statement. Sasuke stirred his drink quietly as he bit the inside of his cheek lightly, not wanting to admit that Kiba had a point no matter how much he wanted to believe that he wouldn't depend on Neji to get him or anyone else out of danger.

"I still can't believe what Shikamaru looked like and what his behavior was like when he saw him." Sakura said quietly, still stirring her ramen.

"That bad?" Ino asked worried. Choji and Sakura nodded.

"It's hard to put it into words."

They didn't understand anything that was going on with Shikamaru, but they, including Choji, realized that Hinata was right:

Neji knew what he was doing even though he has remained silent since they saw him and Shikamaru for reasons they didn't understand or even know.

NejiXShikamaru

"You alright?" Neji asked worriedly as he sat on Shikamaru's bed, leaning against the wall with the Nara's legs across his lap. Shikamaru didn't answer as he released another painful-sounding wet cough.

Silence.

Another bout of painful-sounding coughing gripped Shikamaru's frail body, causing Neji to slide out from underneath his legs and kneel beside Shikamaru's head on the floor. His eyes widened when he saw that Shikamaru's lips had an unnatural tint of red in them. He darted his eyes to his pillow and his brow furrowed slightly:

The pillow was clean.

"Let me see your hand." Neji asked carefully, having a feeling of what Shikamaru was doing.

The Nara sighed and shook his head lightly as another bout of coughs racked his body. Neji took this opportunity to gently grab Shikamaru's arm, being mindful of the healing wounds, from underneath the blanket and open up Shikamaru's hand.

There was a small puddle of blood on his palm.

"Where do you hurt?" His voice was soft despite his sky-rocketing worry. Shikamaru swallowed and blinked slowly a few times.

"Throat," Shikamaru rasped and slid his thin arm out of Neji's hand. "And here." He laid his hand on his chest, coughing lightly.

"Anywhere else?"

"Here." Shikamaru indicated his temples as he closed his eyes, feeling like his head was about to explode. Neji's brow furrowed.

The coughing fits started about two weeks ago, but this is the first time he's coughed up blood. Why now?

His eyes narrowed as he answered his own question.

Maybe it's the withdrawal. Something that he was taking could have a withdrawal symptom like what Shikamaru's showing.

He sighed quietly.

I guess this is somewhat similar to itchy blood, but the itchy blood came first then the coughing.

Shikamaru's wet coughs pulled him out of his thoughts as he saw a small amount of blood fall onto the white fabric pillowcase. Neji sighed quietly, hiding his worry even though he knew full well that Shikamaru would pick up on it.

It definitely sounds like there's internal damage, but I doubt that he would let me take him to the hospital.

His calculating eyes brushed over Shikamaru's fragile face and landed on the white pillowcase that now had small patches of blood on it. He felt his lips tug slightly upward as he stared at the white fabric.

NejiXShikamaru (Slight time lapse)

"Anyone hear from Neji?" Ino asked tentatively, briefly looking up at her friends and comrades in the restaurant.

"Nope." Naruto said, shoving ramen into his face, though his blue eyes showed worry.

"It's been almost two months now! Why has he not told us anything?" Choji asked bitterly, angry at the fact that the only person who knew anything about his best friend was not telling them anything about his condition or wellbeing.

"Well," Kiba said, stretching his arms above his head. "Hinata's right though. Neji's not stupid; he knows what he's doing even if we don't."

"Have you heard from him, Hinata?" Sakura asked, looking at the timid girl across from her. Hinata blushed slightly and shook her head.

"No, I-I haven't h-heard from h-him since we a-all saw h-him at t-the t-training grounds." She fiddled with her fingers absentmindedly. Their frustration and worry grew at her words. Neji wasn't even telling his cousin anything, even though they were on better terms with each other.

Hinata felt some of her comrades' eyes on her, like they were expecting her to tell them something about Neji and Shikamaru. She sneezed, feeling the strange tickling sensation in her nose. She sneezed again; feeling like she had allergies that she knew didn't exist. She sneezed again as she excused herself from the table to walk outside, hoping the fresh air would clear her non-existent allergies.

"Are they interrogating you as much as I think they are?" A soft voice asked from behind her, making her yelp loudly and whirl around. Her eyes became bright as she saw Neji leaning against the wall of the restaurant, looking at her casually.

"T-they're t-trying to make me s-say things that I d-don't know." Hinata said, smiling lightly; finding the behavior of her comrades somewhat humorous. Neji chuckled lightly, slightly surprising Hinata.

"You're not stuttering that much anymore, Hinata." Neji commented, making Hinata blush. "I'm glad." Hinata's blush deepened at his words.

"W-where have you been?" Hinata asked as she looked up, surprised at herself for only stuttering once.

Neji directed his head slightly to the left, indicating for them to walk. Hinata glanced briefly back into the restaurant, knowing that the others will wonder where she went. But she jogged to catch up with her cousin as he continued to walk.

"I've been in the same place; I'm just not speaking to anyone." Neji started quietly, not wanting to be overheard.

"You and Shikamaru are still at his apartment? W-why haven't you k-kept in t-touch like you s-said you w-would?" Neji smiled lightly at Hinata's growing confidence that reduced her stutter.

"I thought that it may have been best for his body to heal first before trying to socialize." He paused, sighing slightly. "Now I'm not sure if that's the best decision." Neji answered, choosing his words carefully. Hinata thought for a moment.

"Is h-he any b-better?" Neji slowed down the pace of their walk at her question, now feeling somewhat better about not being surrounded people who could overhear their conversation.

"That depends on your definition of 'better'." Neji answered, making Hinata glance over at him.

"He i-isn't, is he?" He sighed quietly.

"He has a long way to go, but…" He hesitated. "I need your help." They stopped walking; Hinata surprised by Neji's last statement.

Neji never asks for help, much less from her.

"W-w-what do you n-n-need h-h-help with?" She stammered, completely thrown off by Neji's statement of needing help. Neji smiled lightly as he heard Hinata's stutter come back with full force. He knew that his statement was bizarre for him…he expected it to throw her off.

"Shikamaru has been having a painful wet cough for about two weeks now and he started coughing up blood this morning." Hinata locked eyes with her cousin, clearly seeing the worry that lay in their depths. Her cousin was showing more emotion than she's used to seeing, but she was beyond glad that he was doing so.

Shows of form of respect and trust.

"W-what do you w-want me to d-do?"

"Do you have any remedies that could help him?" Hinata broke their eye contact and looked to the ground on her right, thinking.

"I'm s-sure I h-have s-s-something," She said looking back up at him. "But I-I'm not s-sure how t-they would affect S-Shikamaru." Neji nodded slightly, understanding her reasoning.

Every remedy is different for every person and with Shikamaru the way he is right now…Neji had a feeling that Shikamaru will be feeling like a lab rat until they figured out what could cure Shikamaru's bloody cough. But there was a big catch:

Hinata would need to be there with him to help Shikamaru.

He bit his lip gently, thinking about the possible reactions Shikamaru would have to having a person so close to him that wasn't Neji. He didn't have a good reaction when he saw his two closest friends and sensei. Hinata watched her cousin, seeing him think about the possible outcomes of the situation.

Shikamaru has always had a mutual respect for Hinata and Hinata wouldn't hurt him intentionally.

He looked back up at his cousin.

"Do you remember where Shikamaru lives?"

NejiXShikamaru

Alright Gang,

As always, patience and reviews/PMs would be appreciated!

When-Rabbit-Howls