A/N:
Hey guys!!! Okay, I'm so sorry this is a few days late, but it's a bit longer than the other chapters and required about twice as many edits for me to get it just right besides, lol :) But, anyway, here it is, and I hope you all enjoy what Arnold has to say and what Helga has to say and then a few things that happen after that ;) And, also, sorry once more but this one kind of ends on a cliffie too—it just keeps happening!!! But at the very least I don't think it's nearly as unbearable as chapter 3's cliffie, lol ;)
Okay, so get to reading (and reviewing too please!!!) and I'll discuss when the next update will be and some other things in my ending A/N!
LEARNING TO BE HELGA
Chapter 4:
THE MOST Complex, Labyrinthine Conundrum of a Boyhood Problem…And Helga's Solution(s)!
'She's right, Arnold…you just need to be honest with her and tell her how you're feeling just like she was with you about the shrine. She might be disappointed in you or angry or upset or frustrated, but she's…she's not going to hate you or stop loving you just because you're a little less perfect than she thinks you are… She…she won't…right?'
And thus with these last thoughts to assure himself that admitting what was he was about to admit right now wouldn't destroy his newfound mutual relationship with Helga G. Pataki, Arnold took a deep breath…and finally spoke! (Spoke, of course, without making any eye contact with the girl seated before him.)
He let out his breath and began pacing to the right…
"Helga…the thing I said before—about 'not knowing when I would have been able to stop kissing you' being the problem… I meant it, but I didn't mean that there was anything bad about kissing you… That's the problem. You see, I….I like it a lot. Really. A LOT. I'm starting to think I might even like it just as much as you do, actually… But the thing is…well, when it was just you who wanted to kiss me it really didn't come up all that often and I really didn't think I felt anything for you back during those times, so I never kissed you back and you always took care of stopping the kiss when you were done anyway. But…but if you want to do it and I want to do it, then what's to stop it from…from happening all the time!? I mean, from me kissing you or you kissing me or us kissing each other and just kissing and kissing just because we can and we both finally know we want to, and… I don't know, I'm just afraid that if I keep liking it like you do or at least like it more than I used to that you're not going to like that part of me. I mean, I'm barely sure if I like that part of me…I guess what I'm trying to say is I do like doing it to you but I'm not sure that I like that I like doing it to you, if that makes any sense. And then I also feel guilty that if I like doing it to you and just do it, that you're only going to be going along with it because it'll be the heat of the moment and I'll have taken advantage of your feelings and I don't want to do that, Helga. I mean…okay, I know I was doing that a little when you were helping me with the poetry two weeks ago but there's a difference between just holding your hand to get you to stop yelling at me, and grabbing you and pushing my mouth against yours to make you feel that way it always makes me feel when you do it to me, and to feel you move in my arms and to hear you make that sound that you alway—ANYWAY…uh…what was I saying again? Oh, yeah—about liking the kissing and not wanting to hurt your feelings….heh, heh…."
He paced to the left.
"Well, anyway, I mean, I decided to try the kissing again yesterday in my room when you leaned in and we were sitting on my bed just to see what would happen, and it was hard to keep from grabbing you and making things keep going but I could manage it because there was always a chance that my Grandpa or one of the other boarders could have suddenly come up there and interrupted us like Phoebe did last weekend, and I didn't want us to get caught because it was a little embarrassing…I mean, NOT the kissing YOU part—that wasn't what was embarrassing—it was the kissing in general part. What was I saying again? Oh, yeah—about the getting interrupted. Well, I just…like I said I REALLY didn't expect you to be here tonight, but then you're not only here but we're all alone and we're in your room and you keep wanting to and it's our anniversary and I really want to too but…there'd be no one and nothing to stop us if we started, and what if I got carried away again and…Oh Helga, I still can't believe I tangoed with you like that at the April Fools Dance or threw you on the couch last weekend or just grabbed you at the closet before! I'm sorry I keep doing things like that, it's really not me! But…it kind of is me in a way…or, some new part of me or something… I don't know! But…but…what was I saying again?"
He paced to the right again…
"Oh…uh…well, I just…like I said, it's a really awkward situation and you keep looking at me with your eyes wide and blushing every time I say something nice and don't even realize it and talking to me in that sweet voice, and the hair and the pink and the poetry and the shrine and the shoe, and it's not helping that I can't get out of my head lately how funny and interesting and passionate and caring and beautiful you are and wondering how I couldn't see it before. And then that stuff's all balanced against the fact that I really care about you Helga, and I know you have this image of me as this nice, innocent, wonderful person but I'm obviously notall or any of those things if I'm trying to make out with you in your room like I keep trying to stop myself from trying to do. And THEN thinking about that reminds me that I really want to be a gentleman about this whole love thing because it's the first time I've ever had a real relationship with someone and you're so special, but meanwhile you're a girl and I just snuck into your house and I'm alone with you in your room and your parents are gone and somehow I keep ending up almost holding your hand on your bed and then kissing you and then putting my arm around you, and it's all making me feel really guilty and like the worst boyfriend in the world no matter what your poetry says about me! And I know we kissed last weekend in your living room but it was different because I was invited and it was your living room and your sister and Phoebe and Lila were upstairs, and I didn't even know it was going to happen until it happened so, somehow, it felt more okay. But right here and right now it'd be like it was planned or something! Because that date last weekend was Olga's idea and when I got here I wasn't sure what I wanted to happen…but tonight was my plan and I…I've known what I want to happen ever since you pulled me in here and asked for a kiss as part of your present!"
He paced to the left again…
"And maybe a part of me was even hoping when I was planning all of this stuff out that somehow I wouldn't just be able to sneak in here and sneak out of here in secret…that maybe you'd be here…because we've barely gotten a chance to really talk ever since our date last Friday and I miss you! The REAL you, Helga! And I know that sounds like something the Arnold you love would say but that's only half true because, yes, I do miss the conversations we have and reading your poems and hearing your laugh and getting to see how much you really care about me and going places and doing things with you, but I…I also miss…I also miss holding your hand when we're next to each other and hugging you whenever you say one of the million things you always manage to say to make me happy and…and how it feels when we kiss. Because when we kiss, it…Helga, you're better at it than me so I don't know if it's the same for you but to me at least it's…it's not just good. If it was good I could handle that but it's…it's…amazing, Helga... I've never felt anything like it makes me feel in my entire life! And it's all so strange, Helga, because it's been two weeks and I've gone from seeing you in the hallway and just hoping I wouldn't bump into you because the idea of even brushing against you after your confession terrified me, to seeing you in the hallway and wishing I had more courage and was just as good at keeping secrets as you are so that I could just manage to...I don't know—smile at you without someone seeing or hold your hand when no one's looking and not get caught, or surprise you and all of a sudden grab you and pull you into a janitor's closet or an empty classroom where we could finally be alone and just talk again without having to hide everything… And maybe I'd manage to say something to make you smile or even laugh and blush before we had to go back to the hallway and class and everyone else …and then just before we opened the door I'd put my arm around you look into your eyes and feel your warm arms come around me, and then I'd look at your lips and then look back into your eyes and feel your heart pounding and feel my heart pounding, and then I could lean in and lean you back and just… I MEAN, I…I mean…I just said that out loud, didn't I? Oh boy…"
He paced to the right (yet) again…
"Okay, I think I need to just stop talking because I think I've already made it pretty clear how much of a failure I am at being the nice guy you've always thought I was and have always loved. And if you want to just write, 'Arnold's a huge disappointment' as your poem about why you love me then I almost couldn't blame you!"
He paced to the left (yet) again…
"And so everything I just said is why I'd just feel better if we didn't kiss here and tonight, Helga—because every time we get close I feel all of those thoughts and worries and doubts jumbled together at the same time. And if how you've secretly felt around me all these years has been even half as complicated and confusing as all of that, then I'm really sorry again, Helga. Really. I don't know how you managed to do it for seven years because it's been seven days and, in case it isn't obvious, I'm kind of falling apart here!"
Arnold finally stopped his pacing, his rant and the gesticulations and the dramatics that had accompanied it finally over, leaving him just breathing heavily and standing right in front of Helga and awaiting what she would say in response to everything he had just admitted. And yes, just as he'd feared, it had felt incredibly awkward and incredibly embarrassing getting all of that out in the open…and yet, Arnold couldn't deny that somehow he also felt relief, like a huge weight had been suddenly lifted from him: almost like he could finally breathe after a long time or something. 'Well that explains why Helga confessed to me like she did on top of that building: letting it all build up like that…you need to just yell it all out and worry about the consequences later.' And, though he was still quite distracted with dealing with the situation he'd just laid out, at the back of his mind Arnold also couldn't help but think to himself, 'And no wonder she kissed me when it was over—after something like that I'm sure she needed something to pick her up and to replace the space left over inside of her with something new. Despite everything I could almost go for a kiss myself…' And then, suddenly, this interesting thought was quickly cut off as Arnold swallowed and finally found the courage to bring his eyes up to Helga's face…and had to blink in surprise at the very unexpected look there in response to the fact that he'd just admitted he was a 'lousy boyfriend'...
Helga's eyes were wide, her body was stiff, she was blushing almost as much as Arnold, and her mouth was agape (all expected reactions)… but she also had a smile on her face a mile wide…
Arnold just kept looking at her, his breaths slowing as the seconds passed and he managed to calm down a bit. He was waiting for a verbal response, too afraid to go just by the look on her face that she wasn't absolutely furious at him like she ought to be for all the things that she now knew he'd been thinking about doing with her and all the awkward positions (this evening, in particular) that he'd been putting her in. The seconds kept passing, though, and she just kept smiling at him like she was the happiest person in the world, occasionally opening her mouth a bit more like she was finally about to say something but then hesitating like she couldn't decide exactly what to start with.
Finally, Arnold took a breath and then a very cautious step toward her. "Helga…?"
"WHOA!" He was pretty surprised, to say the least, when she suddenly stood up and threw herself at him in a vice grip hug, knocking him to the floor and falling on top of him.
"Oh, Arnold…" she cooed in that voice he recognized from the top of the FTi building. And she giggled.
Arnold just blinked several times at this reaction. "Helga…?!" His voice came out much shakier this time, and his tone sounded more like he was lamenting the loss of the sarcastic girl he was used to than asking anything of this other, once again very unexpected Helga.
At the sound of him saying her name once more, Helga released her arms from around Arnold's body and folded them over his chest, resting her head upon them, a very dreamy smile on her face and her blue eyes half lidded as she gazed into his terrified green ones. "A disappointment…a disappointment? You think you're a disappointment?! Oh, my perfect little angel, I'm only disappointed in the fact that you'd ever let a horrid thought like that cross your wonderfully wide-shaped head…and on our Anniversary, of all nights." She giggled. Again. And it wasn't helping Arnold be any less weirded out by this whole thing. She took a breath, let out a faint sigh, and then continued, still smiling dreamily. "And all this time I thought there was something wrong with me tonight or that your feelings were starting to fade…but no!" she exclaimed happily. "The only 'problem' is that you like kissing me so much that you're actually afraid you're doing something…wrong! That you're actually shy and worried and nervous and afraid about hurting my feelings, about the chance of taking advantage of me, all by doing something as simple and sweet and satisfying as just pressing those soft little lips of yours…" She actually touched his mouth with the tip of her index finger causing Arnold to blush. Darkly. "To mine…" She delicately removed her finger. "Oh Arnold…" She cooed his name again in that same way…that way that made him swallow hard…and closed her eyes and leaned her face in closer to his, her lips just slightly puckered.
Arnold instantly scrambled out from underneath her and sat up, breathing heavily once again that evening.
Helga, meanwhile, found herself suddenly resting facedown on her pink the carpet, ditched by Arnold yet again this night. However, rather than getting angry like last time, she just picked her head up and rested it in her hands, her elbows propped up on the floor, and looked at her beloved, still with that dreamy smile and speaking in that airy voice. "Oh, Arnold, you keep playing hard to get but I've gotten used to waiting after seven years…and now that I know that you want it as badly as I do, I know I won't have to wait too long!" She winked and then sighed girlishly at him.
Arnold had been still laying on his back and propped up on his elbows on the floor a few feet away from Helga after her sudden attempt to kiss him, wide eyed and feeling his heart pounding in fright and confusion. As she finished this little speech about him playing hard to get and 'wanting it' as badly as she did, though, he felt his jaw actually drop.
It took Arnold a second or two to come out of this even deeper state of shock that Helga had somehow managed to send him into, and then he quickly shook his head to clear it and crawled back over to the obviously lovesick girl on the other side of the room, grabbing her shoulders and sitting her up from the floor. He looked into her eyes with worry and just a touch of fear evident in his face and voice. "Helga! HELGA! Snap out of it!"
"I knew I wouldn't have to wait long…" She smiled just a bit more mischievously at him. "Oh, Arnold I really am starting to like this new aggressive, take charge you, you know…" She began to lean in yet again for another kiss.
"HELGA!!!" Arnold exclaimed once more before pushing himself away from her again in total panic to avoid the kiss.
His action of moving away caused Helga to fall completely forward this time, resulting in her going from standing to smashing face first into her pink carpet. "Ow!" she suddenly yelled, sitting up and rubbing the side of her head with one of her hands.
"Helga, are you okay?" Arnold asked with concern at the sight of her falling like that and the sound of her small exclamation of pain.
He watched as Helga blinked a few times, and then as a scowl came to her face and she opened her mouth and seemed about to say something sarcastic to his inquiry. Suddenly, though, she blinked and her hand dropped from her head and her eyes got wide. "I…I…" She put her hand to her mouth for a moment in disbelief. "I'm sorry, Arnold…" she managed to say in a calm though totally shocked sounding voice. "I…I think I blacked out there for a second. I mean…" she blushed, and rubbed one arm with the other, "I knew what was going on but I just couldn't…" Her blush strengthened and she awkwardly cleared her throat and put her arms behind her back, a weak smile coming to her face in an obviously doomed-before-it-started effort to humorously gloss over the situation. "Well, that was definitely the most gone I've ever been. Whoo boy…heh, heh…" She blinked and then looked at him unsurely, her smile leaving. "Are you okay, Arnold? I mean, I didn't hurt you when I threw you on the floor or anything, did I?"
"I'm…I'm fine…" Arnold managed to respond, and he couldn't help but following up his words with an obviously relieved sigh and smile at the fact that Helga seemed to be back to normal.
Helga swallowed and glanced away, still feeling totally mortified about suddenly going all 'monologueing Helga' on her beloved despite how well he seemed to be taking it. "Good…." She saw some movement out of the corner of her eye and turned her face to see Arnold standing before her with an understanding look and holding out his hand to help her up. She swallowed once more and then reached forward, grasping his warm palm in her own and righting herself.
There was a moment of awkward silence between the two ten year olds.
Finally, Helga took a deep breath and then managed to look at Arnold directly again without feeling like she was going to collapse from utter mortification about what she'd just done. She spoke calmly. "Okay, let's try that again, shall we, Arnoldo? I mean me reacting to all that stuff you just said in a way that WOULDN'T get me locked up for life if anyone else saw it."
Arnold just swallowed and nodded slightly. He recalled, with a slight blush, that he was still holding her hand, and quickly released it, taking a step back to give her some room.
She cleared her throat, the last of her strong embarrassment managing to subside, and actually had to do her best not to roll her eyes as she suddenly recalled this 'crisis' of Arnold's that apparently needed to be addressed before he could ever touch her ever again. 'I swear, only Arnold would need to have a conversation like this…' She couldn't help but smirk to herself. 'But before we talk about this, though…'
Suddenly, Arnold watched with surprise as Helga scowled and took a step back toward him. "But before we talk about this, though…"
"Ow!" And then Arnold suddenly found himself cringing and rubbing his right ear which Helga had just flicked very hard. He opened his eyes and scowled at her. "Hey, what was that for?"
She scowled more firmly at him. "For scaring the HECK out of me with how you were acting before when you could have just told me from the beginning that you were just having a problem with your modesty colliding with your romantic feelings, Football Head!" She crossed her arms over her chest.
Arnold blinked and then opened his mouth like he was about to say something. However… "OW!" He was cut off from his intended reply and had to yelp in pain yet again as this time Helga flicked his nose hard. "Hey! Cut that out!" He rubbed his sore nose.
Helga smirked. "And that was for teasing me about being as worried as I was about the shrine when you're the one who just had a near mental breakdown about a little making out, Arnoldo!" She almost had to laugh in her disbelief. "Seriously….SERIOUSLY?!" She gestured to herself and then to Arnold. "I'm being over dramatic by worrying that you might not take a life size dedication of you in my attic too well, but you get to just pop a synapse about a kiss? A MUTUAL KISS?!"
Arnold, still scowling, was about to say something in response when once again… "OW! Helga!" He rubbed his shoulder that she had just given a firm jab. "Enough! I get it—you're upset!"
Helga chuckled to herself in satisfaction, and then crossed her arms over her chest and had to just shake her head in amusement. "No, not upset, Arnold—just indescribably relieved that you weren't about to dump me or something, and expressing it through torturing you just like how I've always expressed my feelings. Come on—EVERYTHING can't change now that we're an item, Football Head." She sighed, still smiling at him. "Oh, and, by the way, that one…" she indicated his shoulder that she'd just hit by tapping it with her index finger, "was for actually thinking for even for a second that there's anything you could ever do to make me think you're a 'disappointment.'" She shrugged. "I mean, I would have kissed you to add to that point but, like you said, you're having a little trouble wrapping that wide head of yours around the physical aspects of this relationship, so I think I should hold off on that until I've said a few things about this sudden crisis of yours. Okay by you, Football Head?" She asked casually, still grinning at him.
Arnold blinked a couple of times at everything she'd just said, but then finally cleared his throat and just nodded his head, very interested whatever she seemed to be planning to say next. 'Does she mean…does she mean, if she's talking about kissing me later, that she's…she's not angry with me?'
While Arnold had this last thought, Helga took another breath, put her hands behind her back, considered for a few seconds, and then finally looked Arnold in the eye and began to do her best to address his 'concerns'…
"Okay, Arnold, it seems to me that everything you just said boils down to two or three main problems, so I'll just try addressing them one by one and hopefully I can at least get you started in finding a way out of this huge web of guilt that overbearing conscience of yours has concocted for you." She laughed slightly to herself. "And meanwhile, Football Head, nice job managing to turn yourself into an even bigger basketcase than me. 'It's been seven days and in case it isn't obvious I'm kind of falling apart here…'" She closed her eyes and shook her head with a smile. "Classic…I'm writing that one down…"
"Helga…" Arnold gave her a look.
She opened her eyes and sighed, still smiling to herself. "Right, right…fixing your mini-crisis…" She glanced down for a second and then, seeming to have settled on where to begin, turned her gaze back to Arnold. "First of all, Football Head…about the whole 'you being worried about liking kissing me' thing…which I don't see as a 'problem' but you do so I'll give 'solving' it a shot. Arnold…" She took a step forward and put a hand on his shoulder, causing him to lose the exasperated look and blink in surprise. "Liking kissing someone you love does not make you a bad person, no matter how much you think it conflicts with the mild-mannered, goodie two shoes, unbearably moral image you have of yourself. I mean, did it ever occur to you that maybe it actually is a part of who you are, but you just didn't know it because you'd never tried it before? Take me, for example…" She removed the hand from his shoulder and gestured to herself. "I've always known and accepted that liking the idea of kissing you was a part of me but that's because I've been thinking about it practically ever since the day I met you." She gave him an understanding smile. "It's okay to discover something new about who you are, Football Head. I mean, you've been discovering new things about who I am almost every day and you seem to like them, right? Well, talking to you let's me discover new things about who you are and so far I love them all, including this!" She looked into his eyes and spoke sincerely. "You don't ever have to put on some kind of show for me, Arnold—I want to know who you really are. "
Helga gave the intrigued-looking boy before her a moment to absorb this statement and then crossed her arms over her chest, shaking her head, her smile growing. "And Arnold, seriously, do you really think I'm not aware of the fact that you're a real person and not actually some kind of perfect love god?" She blushed a bit. "I mean, I know in the poems and with the crazy monologues like what I just put you through that I act like I really believe that you're perfect, but that's just all the love talking. I really do know, though, that you've got flaws, Arnold, and I know that you can't be my wonderful little love god all the time just like I can't always be your poetry writing, romantic fluff spouting, trying to sneak into your house every eight seconds, blushing at every word you say girlfriend. And sometimes we have fights and sometimes I screw up and sometimes you screw up, but like I said before somehow my love for you just feels more real because we're having all of these experiences together and because I'm really getting to know you and be a part of your life and because you're starting to become a real part of mine. We went over this already with why I don't really need the shrine anymore, Football Head. So…" she took a breath and put her hands behind her back, "Do you get why I'm not going to 'disown you' because you suddenly discovered you don't mind making out with me every once in a while?" She had to let out a slight chuckle and roll her eyes as she added, "Even though I think the fact that I've initiated most of those make out sessions should have tipped you off a long time ago…" Helga smiled at him and patiently awaited a response to the culmination of her first set of arguments.
Arnold, who had just been watching her speak with a mixture of confusion and interest on his face, now just took a slow breath in and out and glanced down like he was trying to process all of the logical response Helga had presented to him. Finally, he took another breath, looked back up at her and hesitantly spoke. "So…you mean…you're saying it's okay to still be Arnold but also to have a part of me that likes doing something that might not be the most…um…innocent thing in the world?" He had stuttered at this last part and was also now blushing a bit as he finished his question to Helga.
Helga smiled at him with satisfaction and nodded, putting her hands on her hip. "You got it, Football Head! It's okay to be you as long as you're not hurting anybody…and believe me, you're the opposite of hurting me when you kiss me." She tried not to laugh. 'Well what do you know…therapy with Dr. Bliss actually just served a purpose other than letting me vent for two hours a week… Oh man, but if she's just looking forward to me telling her how Friday's date went come Tuesday she's got a big surprise in store when I tell her it resulted in all of this! I honestly don't think she's gonna believe me. Heck, I probably won't believe me in the morning. I almost wouldn't be surprised if I pulled a Gerald and started calling old Football Head up and asking him if it was all a dream or not.'
Helga tried not to chuckle at her thoughts as she continued to watch her beloved who appeared to still be mulling over her advice in his head. Finally, after another couple of seconds, he cleared his throat and looked at her unsurely and yet with an obviously relieved smile on his face. "Okay, Helga… It'll probably take me a little while to get used to it but…I actually never thought about it all like that. I mean, that liking the kissing might just be a part of myself that I didn't know was there until now…kind of like with how I feel about you…" His smile grew just a bit more at the comparison.
Helga smiled a bit more, both at his small reconfirmation of his feelings for her and at the fact that it looked like she'd actually gotten through to him. 'At least my dense little Arnold is becoming a bit quicker on the uptake these days…I mean, it takes a lot but at least the poor thing's getting stuff eventually…'
"But…" Arnold continued, his hesitant look returning just a bit and catching Helga's attention again. "But, even if I think about this some more and learn how to be okay with it all, that's not really the most important thing...." He looked at her sincerely. "Are you okay with it, Helga? That I'm…" He glanced down shyly again. "That I'm a little less perfect than the boyfriend you've probably always imagined I'd be, I mean…?"
Helga had to blink at the question and her face went blank for a second, but then suddenly she smiled again and in fact had to do her best not to burst into laughter. She shook her head at her beloved in amusement and crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh, Arnold, Arnold, Arnold…" She let out a sigh. "I may love you because you're the sweetest, kindest, most wonderful boy on the whole planet but if you think all of my fantasies about us actually having a relationship just involved you holding doors open for me and pulling out chairs for me at restaurants and, I don't know…" she wracked her head for another cliché, "Throwing your jacket over mud puddles in the rain so that I wouldn't have to walk through them, then…" She really had to do her best not to laugh at this point so that she wouldn't hurt his feelings, considering how obviously important this whole thing was to him. "Well, then, it's good to know that at least some of your old denseness is still around, Football Head, because, not that I haven't found you 'figuring me out all over the place' for the past two weeks interesting, but there's always been something very nice about you just standing there and giving me one of those classic, clueless looks of yours…Kind of like you're doing right now, actually!" Helga finally had to chuckle to herself just a bit at the sight of Arnold actually standing before her right now with an eyebrow raised in confusion, genuinely unsure of where she was going with all of this...and then instantly blushing a bright scarlet and looking away as he obviously realized what she was implying about 'other things' she might have always imagined him doing with her.
Helga just sighed and rolled her eyes at him and his continued shyness and dramatics. "Okay, Arnold, enough of me having fun with you however amusing it always is…" She cleared her throat. "So to summarize things so that we can finally move on because there's definitely some other stuff I want to talk about too…" She raised her hand and counted her points off on her fingers. "It's okay to discover new things about yourself, don't keep secrets from me, maybe liking kissing is just a part of yourself that you never knew about, and quit thinking that you've somehow destroyed this idealized image I've always had of you just for indulging me a little, Football Head, because I've been imagining you taking me in your arms and kissing me just for starters ever since I was old enough to know what kissing was." She put her hands on her hips. "So, are you okay on advice about this particular part of your situation so that I can move on to addressing the next thing, or do we need to go over these perfectly reasonable arguments about why you should just relax already about loving me one more time?"
Arnold, though still blushing quite and bit and doing his best to stop his heart from beating so fast at what Helga had just admitted her fantasies of him as a boyfriend, had managed to listen very closely to Helga's quick summary of her points. Now that she seemed done and expecting a response from him, he took a breath to focus on considering all of her advice and how applying it to his situation made him feel one more time…and then exhaled, smiling slightly to himself at the phrasing of her last question. He finally turned his eyes back to Helga. "Okay…" He smiled up at her. "Like I said, all of that advice actually makes a lot of sense, Helga, and I'm just happy that you're not upset or angry with me and that you actually kind of like that part of me… I'll try to keep it all in mind."
Helga smiled once again in satisfaction at the reply. "Good. Glad to be of service, Arnold." She took a breath. "Okay, what's next then? Hmm…" She went through some of the other things that Arnold had mentioned were bothering him in her head, and then her eyes lit up. "Ah, okay, about this other fear of yours that if there's no one to stop us you're just going to 'kiss me until I die' or something."
Arnold, whose face had seemed quite content as they had completed addressing the first part of his 'confession', now blushed and glanced away again.
Helga rolled her eyes at the reaction and continued. "Honestly, Arnold, I think that whole dilemma is just the result of you doing two things: one," she held up an index finger, "NOT giving yourself enough credit. And two," She held up her middle finger beside the index one, "NOT kissing me enough."
Though that feeling of utter mortification at being reminded of this particular part of his speech to Helga continued, Arnold couldn't help glancing at her and raising an eyebrow at these unusual conclusions.
Seeing his confusion, Helga crossed her arms over her chest and explained. "As for the first one…Arnold, I know you—even if you think that you're turning into some kind of 'romantic deviant,' you're not. Even if you like kissing, you still like talking and spending time together and listening to music and reading poems and having fun in general too, just like you already pointed out in that little speech of yours. And since we somehow managed to cram all of those things into yesterday afternoon along with Slausen's and a kiss (even though I still don't understand how we had the time), I think it's pretty obvious that no matter how long we might kiss we're eventually going to move on to something else. And even if you don't want to, I might want to (it's going to be RARE, but it COULD happen), and even if I don't want to, you might want to…although…" Her smile became a bit smug and she leaned a bit closer to him, "Despite all of these doubts you've been spouting, I'm not sure how often that situation might come up either since, according to you, kissing me is…how did you describe it? 'Amazing,' Football Head…?" She raised part of her brow at him.
Arnold just blushed furiously and looked down with wide eyes. 'I can't believe I ended up saying that out loud…that and the thing about wanting to kiss her in school and then the thing about building a shrine to her before…' At this point, Arnold was just doing his best not to collapse to the floor from total embarrassment.
Helga continued, doing her best not to laugh at his squirming. "Meanwhile, I have half a mind to flick you or punch you again for that little bit you mentioned about not knowing whether it was the same for me since you seem to have no confidence in your kissing skills…" She sighed and smiled at him. "I already told you last weekend that you're not a lousy kisser, Arnold…and by that I meant that you actually give terrific kisses when you're not in complete shock or pretending to be dead because we're both supposed to be acting or something." Helga swallowed hard and felt herself blush a bit but couldn't help but admit with a slight giggle, "Seriously, I thought my heart was going to fly out of my chest last Saturday when you threw me down on that couch…and then when you put your arm around me at the closet before, I…" Helga felt herself getting way too close to monologuing all of a sudden, and quickly just swallowed hard and did her best to wrap it up. "Anyway, what I'm saying is…don't doubt yourself, Football Head." She managed to summon the confidence to glance up and wink at him.
And then Helga pulled away, indulging in another small giggle to herself, as she watched Arnold just swallow hard, his eyes growing even wider and his blushing becoming even stronger at this unexpected compliment from her. 'So, it's…it's amazing for her too…?'
"Anyway…" The sound of Helga's voice broke him from the thought he was starting to process and caused Arnold's eyes to glance back in her direction again. She had her arms crossed over her chest again, and she was just smiling at him, her cheeks still tinged with a rosy color despite how calm and casual she was trying to seem. "Once again, to sum things up, you might want to kiss and I might not want to or I might want to kiss and you might not want to…and that's where compromise comes in, Football Head." She laughed slightly and added, "Or has the arbitrator of the fourth grade forgotten that basic principle?"
Arnold, despite his embarrassment, couldn't help but smile again at her phrasing of a question. He opened his mouth as though about to respond but Helga cut him off, sighing to herself and rubbing one of her temples for a moment. "No, no, let me finish first, Football Head—that was only part one of the argument about your fear about getting lost in kissing me…" She cleared her throat. "Okay, now as for my second point about not kissing me enough…" she put her hands up defensively, "And please just hear me out because I swear I'm not trying to try anything on you..." 'Not just yet anyway...' She crossed her arms over her chest again and scowled slightly. "Now, Football Head, you remember the confession kiss I gave you, right?"
Arnold, despite all of the awkwardness and mortification, narrowed his eyes and gave her a look.
Helga sighed again and rolled her eyes. "Okay, yeah, dumb question." She swallowed and did her best not to lose her courage as she continued. "Anyway, would you agree that I went pretty far with that whole thing? I mean, that since then I've kissed you but not exactly in the same way—with that much intensity and for that long—right?" She put her hands on her hips. "I mean, the coffee table kiss last weekend might be the only exception but in my defense you'd just made my dreams come true so I think I was entitled to lose it a little. But even then, you have to admit, there was something about the confession kiss that was different, right?"
Arnold swallowed hard, feeling his heart pound at the mere memory of it. "W-well…"
He heard Helga's exasperated sigh again, and she let her hands drop to her sides. "Arnold, can we just put the embarrassment on hold for a second so that I can get a straight answer out of you and keep going with what I have to say? Besides, this topic is obviously more humiliating for me than it is for you or did you forget the whole 'Deep Voice' fiasco and that awkward 'Well we're done saving the neighborhood, now what?' conversation I had to endure?"
Arnold took a deep breath and cleared his throat, and then responded to her question about the confession kiss as quickly as possible. "No, you've never kissed me exactly like that time. There's always something missing or something new but it's never been like that one and, except for maybe the coffee table last weekend, you've never been as…uh…physical with it all." Arnold felt like he was genuinely going to pass out from embarrassment…and his heart pounding as hard as it was in his chest and ears wasn't helping to make matters any more bearable.
Helga blushed a bit as he finished, but managed to continue speaking in her same level, logical voice. "Okay, and do you know why that was?"
Arnold glanced at her for a moment and then glanced down, and then looked back up at her and shook his head, a genuinely curious look on his face.
Helga crossed her arms in front of her chest again and supplied the answer for him. "It was because I'd been in love with you for two thirds of my life and I'd only ever kissed you two times before then! That's a total of three kisses over the course of six years, which you think would average out to one kiss every two years which would have been bearable but the first two hadn't happened until within a few months of the FTi thing. So when I confessed I saw my chance and just had to go for it, and basically poured an entire life's worth of passion into about half a minute!" She took a step toward him and couldn't help the sincere grin growing upon her face. "Which is why the kisses now are different: because it's been happening more often and more regularly and it seems more likely and I don't have to or want to pour everything I am into any single one of them…because I have the rest of forever or at least as long as you'll put up with me to do it again and again and again....." She smiled a bit more at her beloved. "Do you get what I'm saying , Football Head?"
Arnold considered her argument for several seconds, an eyebrow raised, still obviously not quite able to put together Helga's exact point…
Helga sighed in a bit of frustration and looked at him with a slight scowl, though a small smile was still on her face. She put a hand on her hip and spoke to him in as understanding and sincere a tone as she could muster. "I mean, Arnold, that if you keep denying it and avoiding it and trying to pretend it doesn't exist, then you really are not going to be able to control yourself when you kiss me, Football Head. But if you just go with it and explore it a little and don't build it up as this huge epic thing, it'll be fine and it'll be fun and we can both have a good time instead of you running off to a corner terrified of what might be and me landing on my butt because I thought I was about to have your face against mine instead of empty space!" She brought her other hand to her other hip and scowled sternly at him. "By the way, let me tell you, there are no more free passes getting handed out for something like that happening again! If you lean in to kiss me and I lean in to kiss you I expect there to be some kissing. Got it?!"
Arnold blinked, considered her words for another moment, and then nodded slowly in understanding. "I…I think so…I mean, just like with the other stuff we talked about, even though I understand what you're saying it might take me a little time to get used to the idea but…This advice makes a lot of sense too…Not letting it all build up and just kind of working with it..." He smiled up at her. "Okay, Helga. I'll…I'll try." A touch of concern came back into his eyes. "As long as you're okay and comfortable with it…"
Helga let out another frustrated sigh and gave him a look. "Arnold, I think we've already pretty much established that anything involving your mouth and my mouth touching is a given 'A-Okay' in my book…"
Arnold did his best not to laugh at the sarcastic reply. "Of course. Sorry, Helga…just checking." He couldn't help but just look at her with his half lidded gaze right then and feel a warmth wash over him at the grateful feeling he was suddenly aware of for having her in his life now. 'She had a problem with the shrine and I helped her, and I had a problem with kissing and she helped me… We really are good for each other, aren't we?'
Helga, meanwhile, just shook her head at Arnold while he had this thought, and felt herself smile at the happy look on his face and at his continued genuine concern for her feelings despite how much she'd been assuring him for close to the last hour that she was okay with everything he'd admitted to her. "I swear, Football Head, I might not be able to get through real life without your help, but I don't think you'd make it a month with this whole 'epic internal emotional turmoil' thing without me to fix things up for you."
He had to laugh slightly at the comment. "You're probably right. Thank you, Helga."
She laughed slightly for just a second herself and Arnold was about to open his mouth once more and elaborate on how much he really did appreciate how understanding she'd been and how good her advice seemed…when suddenly he had to blink as the smile quickly left Helga's face and was replaced by the return of a slight scowl. "Oh, don't thank me just yet, Arnoldo…" she began, her tone sounding just a bit annoyed, "Because we have at least one more thing to talk about from that little 'kissing confession' of yours just now, and I've gotta say even though the lovesick part of me is pretty flattered, this rest of me is just a little ticked off."
Arnold blinked at this unexpected statement. 'What? But what did I—'
Helga suddenly crossed her arms over her chest, cutting off his thoughts and speaking in a mocking voice. " 'I really want to be a gentleman about this whole thing but meanwhile you're a girl and I just snuck into your house…' " She let out an exasperated sigh and rubbed her eyes. "Tell me you are not going all 'you're 'the girl' and I'm 'the guy'' on me, Arnoldo—please! Last month I chased you and every other guy in our class through a cemetery dressed as a bride and carrying a mallet just because you all tried to treat me differently because I'm a girl."
"Helga…" Arnold blinked in surprise, not at all expecting her to be upset by that part of his speech of all things, "I'm not trying to…I just meant that you're…you know…" He could already feel himself blushing. "It's just different now because we're…" She just continued staring him down with that scowl as he fished for the right words and it wasn't helping Arnold feel any less nervous. Finally, he just sighed in a bit of frustration and spoke plainly, doing his best to just say what he felt again regardless of how awkward it might all be. "I'd just feel more comfortable with myself if we were kissing somewhere else or at the very least at my house or in my room. I'm not trying to say anything against you because you're a girl, Helga, but I really want to do this right and I just…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "I just don't feel like a very nice guy showing up here uninvited at night with your parents and your sister gone and…you know…having anything happen." He finished with as much conviction as he could muster considering the amount of embarrassment he was suddenly feeling overwhelm him yet again that evening.
Helga eyed him in silence for a second or two more as he finished this (in his opinion, very reasonable and valid) explanation. Finally, she put her hands on her hips and spoke. "And that's it—I'm not going to change your mind about this flattering if not ridiculous new principle of yours?"
Arnold glanced down for a second but then just looked up at her, once again with as much conviction as possible, his mind made up. "I'm sorry, Helga, but…no." 'She's just not giving herself enough credit—she deserves someone who'll do nice things for her and treat her special and really treat her like a real girlfriend.'
"You're positive?" Helga suddenly asked, still scowling, though she raised part of her brow slightly.
Arnold continued to try and meet her gaze as firmly as possible, doing his best not to let his confidence waver despite how genuinely less-than-pleased with his feelings on the matter she seemed. "Yes, Helga. I'm…I'm positive." 'She's special and she deserves to be treated like it. No matter what.'
Helga listened to his brief reply and then Arnold watched as she put a hand to her chin and took a breath and glanced down, like she was thinking about something. Thoughts seemed to pass through her head for several seconds and then finally she half smiled and appeared to come to a decision about something. She took another breath and closed her eyes for a second, then opened them again and (to Arnold's surprise) her scowl was instantly gone. She looked at him and spoke, all anger gone from her voice. "Okay, Football Head, we can discuss this more later…"
Arnold blinked, surprised by her giving into him so quickly and with so little resistance. Still…she had been thinking for a long time just now…and that fact couldn't help but worry Arnold just a bit, to say the least... 'What's she up to…?'
"First, though…" the sound of her voice cut off Arnold's thoughts and the tone made him raise an eyebrow. He knew that tone…that tone like she was suddenly ready to strike some big sarcastic blow that he couldn't escape even if he tried. He swallowed hard, looking at her nervously.
Helga took a step closer to Arnold, a very sly grin on her face and her arms behind her back. She looked him over for a second and Arnold couldn't help a very sick feeling suddenly coming over his stomach. "First…we're going to talk about a very interesting situation that all that stuff you just said coupled with half the stuff you did tonight has brought to my attention..." 'And maybe teach you a little lesson about this whole gentleman/girl thing…and maybe I'll have a little fun, too…and just a little revenge for some of that stuff from two weeks ago back in your room…' she added, silently, to herself, her grin only growing as the plan continued to lay itself out perfectly in her head…
Arnold, meanwhile, just raised an eyebrow at this cryptic statement from Helga….and then blushed furiously as she suddenly leaned in close to him, still smiling in that slightly mischievous way, and announced with a noticeable touch of pride in her voice, "You are attracted to me, Football Head!"
"I—WHOA!" Her quickly leaning in like that had caused Arnold to lean back in response, and this sudden shift in his balance coupled with the particular thing she'd just said had caused him to go fully toppling backward. Now finding himself upon her carpet once more, Arnold blinked a few times and then sat up looked up at Helga with wide eyes, feeling his heart pound in his chest and heat flood his face once again that evening, though this time was the worst by far!
Helga just laughed slightly to herself at his flustered reaction to her observation. She knelt to the floor and looked him over quickly once again with an amused grin. "Oh, yeah—you're hooked on me, Arnoldo." She grabbed one of his hands and stood, pulling him up from the floor.
Arnold, now standing up, blinked a few times as a result of feeling a little dizzy both from suddenly going from standing to sitting to standing all in a matter of thirty seconds and because of the particular truth Helga was currently milking (which he was still having trouble believing that she was actually milking right here and right now!). He shook his head a few times to clear it and then looked to her. "Helga…" he managed in a slightly panicked voice, his nervousness more than apparent, "I…I mean, yeah, you already know that I like you too but I—"
"Oh, no, no, no, no, no, Arnold…" she shook her head and gave him a look, that grin still there, "I'm not talking about the fact that you suddenly want to love me just as much as I love you. That's great and everything but right now we're talking about the fact that you're actually attracted to me—that touching me or looking at me or even just thinking about looking at me actually makes you're heart beat faster…" She took a step closer to him and continued. "That you like my hair and my eyes and my clothes, and I'd throw in my mouth but, hey, actions speak louder than words, right Casanova!" She winked.
Arnold felt like he was going to die. "He-Helga…" he began in a pleading voice, leaning back from her.
She ignored him, coming closer still and causing Arnold to move back in retreat from her. "Oh, yes, Arnold, I'm talking about the fact that…well, that let's just say that I'm no longer the only one in this room who could just gaze at the other person for hours and never ever get bored." She paused in her approach and smirked. "I have half a mind to check you for a Helga locket right now..."
"Helga!" He stopped walking as well, his eyes going wide practically in fright.
"…And if you're at that level of obsessed yet, I know a place that does great engraving for really cheap!" She winked, ignoring his discomfort and in fact delighting in it quite a bit.
"HELGA!" Helga was fairly certain she'd never seen another human being blush as much as Arnold was doing right now.
And, indeed, Arnold knew full well from how warm his face felt and how much his heart was pounding in his chest that he was blushing considerably… However, it was only due in part to Helga's teasing about the locket… The other part of it was the fact that he was suddenly finding himself flashing back to half an hour ago when he'd actually been thinking about how nice Helga actually did look when you really noticed her…and how he could just gaze at her for hours and let his eyes discover new things about her hair and her eyes and her…
He blinked and shook his head, trying to keep his thoughts from going down that distracting road. "Helga I…" he tugged at his collar, starting to move away from her yet again. She only resumed her approach, though, at the sight of him trying to put distance between them once more, the smug smile still on her face. "Okay, yes, I guess I kind of do feel a little…" he swallowed hard and glanced down, really not wanting to say it but feeling unable to come up with any other word, "attracted to you…sometimes…But," he looked up at her with a mixture of distress and annoyance on his face, "Do you have to just…bring it up like this? I mean…" he tried to get on the offensive a little and felt some of the warmth leave his face as he did so, "I don't go bringing up that you're attracted to me to make you feel uncomfortable, Helga!" Suddenly, to his complete surprise, Arnold felt his back slam into Helga's door. He had run out of places to go.
Stopping directly in front of him, Helga raised a skeptical eyebrow at this last statement and almost seemed to scoff. "Oh, no, Arnold, you don't bring it up—you just, I don't know, tango with me at an April Fools Dance to pull a prank, touch my shoulder or hold my hand in your room to get me to lower my guard, kiss me right here in my room in front of GERALD to make a point in a stupid fight, GRAB my KNEE in front of the ENTIRE CLASS so that I'll quit making fun of your poem and get on to tutoring them..." She was scowling slightly at this point. "So if I let you get away with all of that stuff, then I think I should at least be allowed to bask for a few minutes in the ironic twist of fate that the guy doing all that stuff to me all the time is suddenly pressed up against my door in panic all because I'm within two inches of him!"
Helga, her sly look replacing the scowl once more, suddenly moved her face very close to Arnold's, just looking into his wide eyes. She remained like that for several seconds and watched in amusement as a blush slowly crept up into Arnold's cheeks once more...
"Helga…" he managed to breathe out, his eyes unblinking, completely locked onto hers, "I know we just worked out the kissing thing, but…um…" he swallowed hard, "Like I said I still need a little more time to let your advice sink in and I'm still a little uncomfortable being here in your room and everything…I just, don't think it's right, so…uh…" Still looking into her eyes, he groped with his hand for the knob of the door behind him.
Helga, however, ignoring his pleas yet again, suddenly pushed her face just slightly closer to Arnold's, still smiling, so that it seemed that all one of them would have to do would be to pucker to initiate a kiss…
Arnold instantly stopped trying to reach the handle and his breath caught in his throat. He began to close his eyes but stopped, then began again but stopped again, doing his best to resist the urge to kiss her…just as he had been doing the entire evening… Only this time fighting his desire to feel himself kissing Helga Pataki again was a million times harder considering how little it would suddenly take to actually make it happen…and how much he still knew she wanted it to happen…and how he now knew that she really would be okay with it if he gave in and let it happen… He felt his eyes starting to close again. 'Maybe…maybe it would be okay if we did it just for a second… Just for a second in her room wouldn't be that selfish of me, right…?'
However, he was stopped from finally giving in and starting to kiss the girl less than inches from him, and his eyes flew open wide and stayed that way when he suddenly felt Helga's hand reach up and gently graze the side of his face. "Oh you are cute like this, Football Head, you know that?" she let him know with a small, warm laugh.
Then Helga suddenly shifted away from her beloved and turned around, and Arnold felt himself blink a few times and then really breathe for the first time in close to a minute. Almost involuntarily, he reached his hand up to the warm place upon his face that Helga had touched. 'I can't believe I almost…that she almost got me to… What was I thinking?!' Helga, meanwhile, he noticed as the sound met his ears and broke him out of his shock, had walked over to her bed and sat down, and was now laughing uncontrollably at the sight of him.
It took Arnold a few seconds to regroup himself and feel his heartbeat return to normal and that warm feeling that had come over his body to start to go away (he didn't wait for the blushing to stop—at this point, he'd given up on it entirely). Then he took a breath and looked over at a still laughing Helga, scowling. "Helga, that—that wasn't funny!"
Helga's laughter subsided a bit and she sat up and looked at him, and then raised a finger like she was about to reply. Seeing the blush and the frustrated look still on his face, though, she only succeeded in falling back down onto her blankets in another giggle fit. "That…" she managed to get out between laughs, "…was…wonderful!!!" She managed to sit herself up again. "Between the sneaking in and the mini confession about the kissing and this… it's like looking in a mirror or something! I mean, you've practically become me, Football Head! It's—it's made the seven years all worth it!!!" She continued laughing warmly to herself…
10 Minutes Later…
Arnold, being a very understanding ten-year-old boy and knowing very well Helga Pataki's sarcastic nature, had been trying to be very patient with her fit of laughter that had been basically ceaseless for quite sometime now. Finally, though, he had to just cross his arms over his chest, still scowling at her, and he turned around and put his hand on the knob of her door. "Fine, Helga, you just keep laughing and I'm going to go home now. Happy 'Anniversary'. See you on Monday." He began to turn the knob.
His sudden intended departure finally did get Helga to stop laughing and to start taking his annoyance seriously. "Oh, come on, Football Head, don't be like that…" Still grinning ear to ear she got up and started heading across her room.
Arnold stopped opening the door and turned back to her with a sigh. "Helga, I know this is some kind of big joke to you but like I told you before it's all new to me and it's embarrassing and I'm still trying to deal with it all, and I really don't need to be laughed at about it right now! I'm already going to have to deal with that enough the next time I see Gerald and the first word out of his mouth is 'shrine.' And I know I've done some stuff that hasn't been very fair to you ever since you confessed but at least when I did it, it was always as a last resort and usually to get us closer which is probably half the reason I somehow realized I love you too when it was all over last week." He crossed his arms over his chest again in frustration. "But you're just doing this to have some fun, and if that's all that's going to happen for the rest of the night if I stay here then I'd rather just go back to the boarding house." He turned back around to face the door.
"Arnold…" Helga came up alongside him, leaning with her shoulder against the door. He didn't look at her and tried to open the door despite her weight upon it. It didn't budge, though, much to his frustration. "Come on, Arnold…" Helga continued, smiling and speaking in a very sincere tone. 'If you leave I can't make the point I'm building up to, Football Head!' "And I'm using your real name right now! And this time it's not because I'm angry or because I'm happy—I'm just trying to show you that I can be serious about this, okay?"
Arnold sighed and turned to her and put his hands on his hips, still looking distinctly annoyed.
"Seriously, Football Head—cut me a break, okay?" Helga crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him sheepishly. "I'm not trying to hurt your feelings or anything—I'm just a girl who's suddenly finding herself on the other side of a relationship after seven years of standard unrequited love." She shrugged. "I'm just dealing with the disbelief in the only way I know how: humor, sarcasm, cheap shots, you know—standard 'me.'" She smiled at him. "Now, come on…don't leave angry..." She rolled her eyes and did her best not to chuckle too much as she added, "Not on our first 'Anniversary."
That last comment couldn't help but make Arnold, who had really been trying to maintain a serious and unhappy face during Helga's apology, smile.
"Ah, now there's that Arnold smile I love…" Helga laughed warmly to herself at the sight of the change in his face. She sighed and turned so that her back was leaning against the door now. "So… 'friends' again?" she raised an eyebrow at him, jokingly.
Arnold actually laughed at that. "About as much as usual…" he replied with a wink, letting his arms relax drop to his sides now that they seemed to be making up. His smile grew a bit more as he noticed that the reply actually made a faint blush come to Helga's cheeks and caused her to glance down shyly. Arnold laugh to himself once more and added with a smile, "At least I know you're in the same boat, right?"
On the inside, Helga could feel her heart fluttering like mad at the little bit of flirting they were doing. She tried to stay focused, though, knowing at the back of her mind that if she let him and his adorableness get to her too much, all he'd have to do was ask once more and she'd just end up letting him leave like he was bound to want to do very soon regardless of whether they were fighting or not without letting her have her chance to finish addressing his newfound concerns about the fact that she was indeed a girl. 'Helga, now's not the time to go all ga-ga on him. Remember the plan!' And so, on the outside, despite her internal lovesick feelings, Helga just sighed and tried to seem casual as she responded playfully to Arnold's equally playful question, " 'Whatever you say,' Arnold." She winked at him this time.
And now the blush was back in Arnold's cheeks at her use of his familiar response to her. He blinked but then just smiled at her, all of his annoyance forgotten at this point. "I'm never going to come up with a response to something that you can't top somehow, am I, Helga?" He looked at her with a half lidded gaze.
She laughed and glanced away with a playful smirk. "It's highly unlikely, Football Head… but keep doing your best, though, because you're definitely getting better—I'll give you that." She brought her eyes back to his, allowing herself to linger in those lovely pools of green for a moment. ('Hey, I'm just supposed to be keeping myself from turning into a lovedrunk idiot…that doesn't mean I can't at least admire my beloved a little to tide me over until he leaves and I can finally squeal and dance around and hug my locket in delight just like I want to do right now!')
Arnold, meanwhile, was more than happy to gaze lovingly into Helga's eyes as well, and he couldn't help sighing at how doing so made him feel inside…and then, to his surprise, something about the sigh made him yawn just a bit. Almost involuntarily he glanced over at the clock by Helga's nightstand and then suddenly blinked. "Helga, it's almost eight-thirty! I've been here for an hour and a half!" He went for the doorknob again, a serious tone of worry in his voice. "Grandpa's gonna kill me!"
'Quick, Helga, think of something to keep him here! Otherwise you might as well have just sat down and had a simple talk with him instead of planning out this quick scheme to show him how wrong he is about all that 'you're a girl so it's not right for me to be kissing you here' garbage—and where would the fun in that have been?' Helga quickly wracked her brain for an idea on how to stall Arnold from departing. 'Okay, uh…how did he get me to stay in his room every time I wanted to leave two weeks ago…? Or at least, why was he so bent on being around me that weekend…?' Helga blinked and then suddenly smiled to herself, the perfect idea coming to her head.
"Hey…Football Head?"
Arnold turned around, about to finish fully opening Helga's door and step out into the dim Pataki hallway. "Yes, Helga?"
"Uh…" Helga put her hands behind her back, trying to look as sincere and innocent as possible as she continued. "You know…you've already been here an hour and a half…I don't think another half an hour would make or break you…Besides, I don't know about you but my curfew's not 'til 9 and the boarding house is only a five minute bus ride from here…"
Arnold interrupted her, grinning slightly. He leaned against the wall near the slightly ajar door. "You want me to stay, Helga? After all of that, we're back to you being the one who wants to be near me?"
Helga blinked, realizing she was losing her offense position in all of this. She swallowed and crossed her arms over her chest, trying to sound as casual and indifferent as she could as she replied, "Well, actually, Football Head, I just figured since you're so obsessed with my poetry and that you've probably already plowed through the majority of the two books I left with you yesterday afternoon, that maybe you'd like to read that poem we were talking about earlier. The one about exactly why I love you that I said I'd write for you..." She sighed and tried to continue sounding blasé as she added, "If you don't want to, though, then I guess you can just wait until Friday to see it…provided, of course, the pink book I bring over that day is the one that has it in it…"
Arnold took a step back into the room, closing Helga's door behind him, an interested look on his face. Helga had to try very VERY hard not to smirk as she thought to herself with satisfaction, 'Oh he is so biting again! It's like luring Chocolate Boy into a trap using a trail of Mr. Fudgies!' On the outside, though, of course, she remained casual and cool, sometimes glancing at Arnold and sometimes at other things in her room in boredom, as though whatever his response would be really didn't matter all that much to her…
Arnold, though, was certainly looking at her...and with anything but boredom on his face at the proposition she'd just suggested. "But, Helga…" he began with an obvious touch of confusion in his voice, "If we only have half an hour how can I read the poem. I thought you said you'd need days to write it…"
Helga rolled her eyes and just sighed at him, a half smile on her face. "Well, I thought I'd need days, Football Head, but I also said the right inspiration could also just hit me at any time." She shrugged and looked at him innocently. "That kiss and all of the talking and revelations after it were just the thing. Besides…" she stretched up, once again trying to seem indifferent about everything (though at the same time she also was still quite tired, a fact which Arnold's yawn before had reminded her of), "I've got some free time and there aren't likely to be many distractions right now… We are ALONE, after all." She very specifically emphasized the word 'alone' and the effort wasn't lost on Arnold.
At the sound of another joke starting about the guilt he couldn't help associating with the situation of being alone with her in her room, Arnold turned around and began to head back on the direction of Helga's door, a miffed look on his face. "Goodnight, Helga…."
Helga quickly moved up alongside him again. "Hey! Okay, come on, Football Head! Seriously, I know that was a cheap shot but…Hey!" She managed to get in front of him, and now stood between Arnold and the door, still half smiling at him. She looked at him sincerely as she spoke. "Arnold, I really think you were right about me needing to put into words what it is about you as a person that makes me love you instead of just a bunch of poetic feelings for once. I mean, like I said, I've never tried something like that before, and I actually think it might be good for both of us if I gave it a whirl. But…" she glanced down shyly for a second, "It'd really help me if you stayed while I did it…"
Arnold raised a skeptical eyebrow at the suspicious request, which caused Helga to unfortunately have to admit, in order to keep him around, something that made her blush slightly. "I mean, it'd be easier for me to stay focused more on you and less on my feelings about you if you stuck around…you know?" She looked him in the eyes, meaning what she said regardless of her plans. 'I actually am kind of happy he suggested I try writing a poem like that…it could be fun and it might actually be good for both of us.'
And then Helga, seeing Arnold's continued though indeed obviously weakening hesitation about staying, recalled another thing Arnold had done to keep her in his room two weeks ago…And, well, now that she knew that he was attracted to her along with loving her, the novel idea seemed to stand a much better chance of working…
She put her hands behind her back, tilted her head down just a bit, gazed up at her beloved with wide eyes, and finally pouted just ever so slightly. "Please, Arnold…" she requested in an unassuming voice with the warmest, lightest tone she could muster. On the inside, though, she was doing her best not to smirk…actually, seriously trying very hard not to smirk, as a matter of fact. 'Hmph! Arnold's not the only one who can use an innocent glance and a charming plea to get his way in this relationship…'
And, indeed, at the sight of Helga suddenly seeming to care so much about whether he left or stayed, and talking to him so sweetly as she made this one, relatively small, and actually quite easily-fulfilled request, Arnold felt the last of his resolve to get out of there before things about his feelings got even more awkward quickly crumble. Indeed, to his surprise, he found himself actually feeling an unexpected (and quite undeniable) strong compulsion to see the girl before him go from sad like she seemed right now to happy like she had been before. (And, of course, the fact that he was dying to read another Helga Pataki poem, which impressed him every single time with their craft and the way she expressed herself, was also a significant factor in his new decision to comply with her wishes and to stay.)
And so, to Helga's great satisfaction, Arnold finally let out a breath and smiled at her, taking a step back from the door. "I guess I could stay a little while longer…if it'll help you, Helga."
Her face instantly lit up. "Perfect!" And then suddenly, before Arnold knew what was happening to him, Helga had grabbed his arm and pulled him across the room back to her bed. "Besides, Arnold, if you remember I said I wanted to get back to that whole 'me being a 'girl' ' problem. We can get to it just a little later, though…" 'And a little bit now…' she added mentally to herself. Having Arnold in tow in one hand, Helga, upon reaching her bedside, used her other hand to grab her almost fully filled current pink book from her nightstand. Snagging it, she suddenly and let Arnold go with a gentle push in the direction of the bed, causing him to find himself sitting on its surface at the end. Helga, meanwhile, turned around and jumped onto the opposite end of the bed, ending up with her head propped against her pillows and her legs stretched out writing, just as she had been before Arnold's experiment with the tree had interrupted her that evening. "First thing's first, though, Football Head! Now, let's see about this new poem for you!"
And, so, Helga opened up her pink book, looked at Arnold for a second, considered, and then began to smile and write as a very ironic idea (of course) came to her.
Arnold, after blinking a few times to get his bearings from being suddenly dragged across her room and plopped down upon her bed, turned to Helga. He opened his mouth as though about to ask her a question but then paused at the sight before him. And it occurred to Arnold just then that even though he'd read countless works by her, he'd never actually seen Helga G. Pataki write a poem…and it was a very interesting sight, to say the least. 'She looks so happy…and not even like when she's with me happy. Just very content…like this is what she's supposed to be doing or something.' His thought was interrupted by the sound of Helga pausing in her writing, whispering a word or two to herself like she was trying to work out something in the line before her or find a good rhyme, and then nodding to herself and resuming putting pen to page. 'How does she do that?' Suddenly, Arnold found himself smiling just a bit dreamily and putting down a hand to rest his weight upon his arm so he could lean a bit closer to her (much like he'd tried to do earlier that evening when Helga had initially pulled him inside through her window)…and then Arnold hit the bed problem again.
He blinked as he recalled that somehow or other she'd gotten him to sit near her again when they were still alone in her room, just like he'd been trying to avoid doing all evening. He looked to Helga, reclining only a few inches away and looking so nice just laying there with that content smile on her face, and then even though he knew it was stupid and that she was just writing a poem and that nothing would probably happen, he still couldn't help but become very aware again of the guilt associated with being alone in the room of the girl he loved…
"Um…Helga…?" he started nervously, knowing that she might be a little annoyed at him for suddenly bringing this up again, especially since she'd just hinted at still having some kind of a problem with what he'd said about her being a girl. But he really did want to be a gentleman about this relationship and he figured that that one spontaneous kiss in front of her closet was more than he should have been entitled to upon showing up here tonight.
She didn't reply so Arnold tried again, a bit louder this time. "Helga?"
She sighed, not looking up from the middle of her pink book. "Football Head, I'm writing. This better be good."
Arnold swallowed. "Um, well…would it be okay if I went and sat in one of the chairs over there instead of staying here. I just…"
She rolled her eyes, cutting him off, though her writing continued. "Oh, you CAN'T be serious, right now, Football Head."
"It—it's just…" he felt himself starting to blush again, "You're on your bed and…I'm on your bed and…and we're right next to each other and things always seem to happen when we're right next to each other…"
She couldn't help but smirk, cutting him off. "Yeah, well, until they perfect 'long distance kissing', things are probably going to keep being just a little more likely to happen when we're 'right next to each other'…"
Arnold sighed and did his best to ignore the comment. "Look, I know it seems silly Helga, but I still do feel bad about all of this happening in your room and when we're alone, and…"
Helga did her best not to scoff as she finished his sentence (her writing still continuing, of course). "And I'm 'a girl,' and somehow you're betraying every law of chivalry ever engrained into that Football Head of yours by being in my house by ourselves in my room on my bed with me." She smiled to herself and started writing just a bit more fervently. "Oh man, this new little display of yours is definitely going into poem…"
He narrowed his eyes at her a bit. "Helga…"
Helga sighed, crossing something out and then writing something in its place. "Fine, Arnoldo, go sit on a chair or whatever if it'll relieve that overbearing conscience of yours. But, like I said, later we're having a talk about this new little neurotic tendency of yours and the fact that it's the 21st century and that I'm a modern woman and that I'm just as capable of taking advantage of you as you are of me no matter where we are…lest we forget who threw whom onto the coffee table last weekend, Romeo. But not now: I'm writing."
Arnold swallowed hard and blushed at the memory of last weekend, and then finally stood up and went shyly back over to the seat he'd occupied several times so far that evening.
A few minutes passed in silence as Helga continued writing her poem, broken only occasionally by her glancing at Arnold and laughing slightly to herself as she came up with a new observation or a new thought about him to put down on the page before her.
"Oh, Arnold…" she smiled to herself, finally addressing him at one point, "You know, this angle actually is a lot of fun—I can see why you went for it when you wrote your poem about me. But, in case you're doing some early Christmas or one month Anniversary shopping for me or something, let me recommend YOU writing another poem about me but this time in MY style…" She chuckled to herself as she seemed to reread a line or two she'd just jotted down. "Seriously, that would just make my life! I mean, if it's even close to as amusing as this thing is, I'll wait for it even if it takes another seven years on top of the first seven it took you to figure out that you're kind of into me too..." She laughed in amusement once again to herself, and then blinked like she'd just gotten an idea and proceeded to write a few more lines.
Arnold, meanwhile, just raised an eyebrow at this unexpected poetic request. He hesitated for a second and then opened his mouth as though he was about to say something to Helga, when she suddenly closed the pink book in her hands with a light slam and held it up, looking at him with a satisfied smile. "Okay, all done, Football Head! Your poem about what exactly it is about you that makes me love you is officially complete."
Arnold blinked, standing up. "You mean you really just wrote it…just like that? It hasn't even been ten minutes, Helga…" He couldn't help but add in a noticeably slightly impressed tone.
Helga just shrugged, sitting up and placing the pink book upon her nightstand once more. "Hey, the style might have been new but ultimately it was an Arnold poem and as I said before I can pump those out in my sleep. I'd actually come up with a few more of my normal, gushing poems in the time we have left so that I could top off this book and move onto a fresh one, but I think I used up all the inspiration you gave me tonight for this little masterpiece and all the inspiration I usually have in the five or six poems I wrote before you got here…" She smiled once more that evening in that slightly sly way of hers, continuing. "And as for some new inspiration, well…" She crossed her arms over chest and crossed one leg over the other, rolling her eyes at her beloved and giving him an amused half smile, "Someone won't come anywhere near me right now, so it looks like this is all we're getting for tonight." She gestured with her head to the small book of poems she'd just finished writing in.
Arnold gave her a look for the teasing comment, crossing his arms over his chest….and trying his best not to blush at the way she was sitting there and smiling at him like that after basically implying yet again that she was more then open to the idea of a little making out.
Suddenly, Helga stretched up and yawned, doing her best not to smirk at how frustrated Arnold seemed with her yet again that evening for all of the teasing and flirting. "You know…that was actually really fun—thanks, Football Head. I think you actually just helped me with my poetry. It's like some painfully ironic ending to the story from heck about our lives, or something." She mulled the thought around in her head with a smile for a second, and then shook her head to clear it.
Arnold continued to watch her as Helga then proceeded to climb over her bed to her open window and reach out, grabbing a hold of something. She continued to talk to Arnold over her shoulder as she proceeded with this curious action. "Well, since it is getting late, like you said, Football Head, and since no one's supposed to be coming back here for a little while yet, I guess you should just head out before I succumb to all of that 'masculine charm' of yours, my dearest, darling, dashing, Arnold…" She stopped what she was doing and dramatically put a hand to her mouth, as though surprised at what she was saying. She looked back at Arnold sarcastically. "Oh, there I go, again—I'm already losing control of the things I'm saying with you here unsupervised, Arnold, and it's only a matter of time before I lose control of the things I'm doing too… " She finally managed to pull the end of Arnold's rope across the sill of her open window and into her room, having fully untangled it from the branches below. She gave a sigh and continued speaking. "So, just get going, Arnold, and I guess I'll see you next week in the 'safety' of the boarding house or in the' appropriateness' of your room or anywhere else where a bunch of people are waiting to randomly interrupt our time together and make you feel like you're not taking advantage of 'helpless old me.'" She had to roll her eyes at the very idea of Arnold tricking her into a kiss, though she did her best not to seem too sarcastic about it so that Arnold wouldn't get too annoyed and try to leave again before she could fully execute her current 'brilliant scheme'…
Arnold, however, not really noticing the teasing comment (or the rope currently accumulating in Helga's hands…and also not really putting together what she meant by slowly and carefully unwinding it and only allowing a few feet of it to fall upon her bed like she was doing instead of just yanking it completely out of the tree), approached Helga and glanced from her to the pink book in which she'd just written, and then back to her. "But Helga…you said you were writing the poem you just finished to help me understand why you'd love someone like me…"
Helga glanced over her shoulder, shrugging casually. "So?"
"So…" he had to raise an eyebrow at her in confusion, "You're going to let me read it, right?" 'I thought that was half the reason she thought I should stay longer…'
Helga smiled at him, still kneeling on her bed, and paused in what she was doing with the rope. "Well, duh, Football Head—we already went over how you kind of need to read it since you're so blind that you can't see how special you are yourself, and since my poems are usually too ambiguously romantic to let to you see it easily." She finally let the end of the rope drop to her pink sheets and crossed her arms over her chest. "And I will not have you going around thinking that you don't deserve me or something…I mean, I'd say how I can't even describe how wrong that whole concept is, but I just did it in my poem, so I guess that takes care of that."
She just continued kneeling there, smiling at him across the room, and Arnold just continued standing there, waiting for her poem.
Finally, after about another minute of this stand off, Arnold was losing his patience a bit. "So…can I read it now, Helga?!" he asked anxiously.
Helga blinked and a touch of satisfaction came to her eyes at the somewhat desperate request of her obviously frustrated beloved. 'And the best part is, this whole poem thing isn't even part of the plan… I'm just messing with him for the heck of it and he's completely falling for it…' She sighed to herself. 'At least that means that he should go for what I've got up my sleeve next without any trouble…' She smiled at him just a bit more and finally addressed Arnold's question. "Oh, you mean RIGHT NOW?" She asked with more than a touch of sarcasm, and then shook her head at him "Oh, no, Arnold, you're going to have to wait until at least…" She seemed to consider something in her head for a second before continuing… "At least Wednesday, I think…"
Arnold's look became even more confused at the strange condition. "Why?"
Helga shrugged, still smirking. "Well, that's when the next poetry assignment is due to Simmons, and you can look at the poem when he hands it back to me that afternoon…or hear it when reads it out loud. My preference really…" She smiled devilishly. "And besides I would just love the chance to watch you squirm when the whole class turns to look at you if he does read it. Because this one is even more explicitly about you than yours was about me. I guarantee it." She winked.
Arnold just looked at her very closely for a second, not responding at first. Finally, he managed to say slowly and with at least a touch of conviction, though it was noticeably faint, "Helga…you're lying to me again, aren't you?"
"Am I?" Still smiling, she raised part of her brow at the question, almost as though the concept of 'lying', and especially to him of all people, was a foreign one to her and yet sounded novel now that it had been brought up.
Arnold hesitated for a second, and then replied as confidently as he could, "…Yes."
"Oh, I don't know, Arnold…" she sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. "I mean, I've done plenty of worse things to you over the years. And I'd have a pretty good motive for this particular type of revenge considering what happened that Monday with your poem." She looked at him closely, still grinning. "What exactly makes you think you know me so well that I wouldn't do it?" There was a genuine curiousness in the expression on her face.
Arnold glanced down and considered the feeling he had inside of him that Helga wasn't telling the truth, and then did his best to find the exact reasons why he felt like that and the exact words he would need to express them to her. Slowly, he began. "Because…like you said when we were talking that Monday in the classroom about how I left when everyone started interrogating you, it was a bad situation and you would have kept me out of it any way possible if you could have…" He smiled slightly to himself as he continued. "So, I think you care too much about what would happen to me to try something like that."
Arnold looked up at her for a confirmation of this reasoning and he was met with a very impressed look on Helga's face. "Not bad, Football Head… Anything else?"
Arnold's smile increased at having been right, and then he considered for another moment or two. His smile grew a bit more as a second reason for her to be lying came to mind. "And also…" he began, looking at her now with his half lidded gaze, "Since you're a lot smarter at plans and schemes and revenge than I am, Helga, I'm sure you already figured out that if everyone came up to me after it was over and asked me who I thought was writing poems about me and what I knew about it…" He glanced away for a second and then back to her, putting his arms behind his back. "Well, once again, we hit that 'horrible liar' problem…" He took a step toward her and tried his best not to laugh as he saw Helga smile a bit more herself at this small joke. He continued speaking, taking another step forward and still looking at her with that half lidded gaze of his. "…And, also, there's the fact that I'm only keeping things between us a secret because it's important to you and it's fun, and not because I really want to…" He winked and that made Helga blush, and Arnold couldn't help but suddenly feel a small sense of satisfaction come over him at the feeling of the power play between them suddenly getting balanced in his favor once again.
Helga tried to downplay her reaction to his words, though, of course, and so just rolled her eyes and shot him an amused grin, hoping the slight warmth in her face would subside quickly before he could notice it too much. "I really do hate 'in love' Arnold, sometimes, you know that, Football Head? Not nearly as preciously dense as 'why does Helga always pick on me' Arnold or as adorably in denial as 'Hey wait a minute—Helga's in love with me!' Arnold." She suddenly crawled forward over her blankets and then got off of the bed and snagged the pink book containing the poem in question that she'd just written. She then walked over to Arnold and gently shoved the small item into his hands. "Here," she smiled, "It's almost full, anyway, like I said before, and I know your appetite for these things is just plain insatiable so just use what's in here to tide you over until next Friday—okay, Football Head?"
Arnold smiled down at the pink book and then smiled up at the girl who'd given it to him, his gaze still half lidded. "Thank you, Helga."
She just shook her head at him in response and crossed her arms over her chest again. "You know," she gestured with her head to the book in his hands, "Thanks to you I have a standing order at the bookstore down the street for blank pink books, which aren't quite as easy to come by as you'd think." She had to chuckle. "Seriously, pace yourself, Head Boy—I'm a human being in love, not a printing press. And, as I said once before, I do have a life outside of you, you know." She put her arms behind her back and smiled warmly at him just a bit more.
Arnold laughed warmly at the witty comparison. "Human being in love, not a printing press…got it, Helga." He glanced down at the pink book in his hands. "I'll just read this one and start rereading some of your other books while I'm waiting for more of your masterpieces." He looked back up at her, not even aware of just how dreamily he was smiling at her.
Helga just shook her head and sighed happily at the slightly flirtatious compliment as well as at the beautiful lovesick look on his face that she'd longed to see directed at her for so many years (and that confirmed for her yet again that what she was planning next was not only going to be fun but easy to pull off as well). She then turned and went back in the direction of her bed, climbing onto it and then crawling across the surface once more. Upon reaching the window, she put her hands on the sill and pushed it open as wide as it could go, letting in a burst of warm night air.
And while doing this, she tried her best to keep her heartbeat below heart attack level and her head in the game in general. 'Okay, yes, he's acting adorably right now and flirting just a bit whether he knows it or not, and he's got that gorgeous look on his face and his eyes are just…NO, focus, Helga! Remember the plan…Heck, it's probably the only way you'll get to actually kiss that beautiful face tonight!' With this brief reminder/pep talk to herself, Helga then proceeded to pull in a bit more of the rope that she'd started gathering previously, finally letting the few feet of line she ended up with rest upon her bed while the remainder of the rope still lead outside and into her tree. She then turned back to Arnold, kneeling on her covers, and picking up the rope end in question. "Well, here you go, Football Head—your ticket out of here so that you don't 'corrupt me' any further." She dramatically put a hand to her head and did her best not to smirk too much. "I mean, gosh, I wrote a poem about you because you came up here—I hope my Dad doesn't make us get married because of it or anything!" She crossed her arms over her chest and laughed at her joke.
The comment made Arnold blush slightly, but the rope joke did manage to make him smile a bit again as well, and since he was leaving anyway he didn't see much point in getting upset with Helga for getting in one last little joke about his insecurities about being here right now. "I think I'll just take the door, Helga…" he responded playfully and warmly. "Goodnight…"
And with these parting words, Arnold turned and began to walk back in the direction of Helga's bedroom door. As he made his way across the room, he couldn't help but hear her shift on her bed (almost as though she was moving to do or get something…). He didn't turn back around to see what the source of all this movement and soft noise was, though, until he heard the sound of her voice firmly addressing him from back across the room. "Arnold, you get back here and take this rope down to my backyard right now."
Arnold, in mid reach for the doorknob, sighed with just a touch of amusement and turned back around toward Helga. "Helga, you don't actually want me to—" His response was interrupted by the sight of her doing something very simple and very random…and also somehow very suspicious, if Arnold knew Helga...
A/N:
Yes, I know, I'm HORRIBLE for the cliffhangers!!! But I hope 17000 words worth of awkwardness made up for it a little ;) As for the next update, I'm going into finals/graduation time so you're going to have to give me at least two weeks guys. Besides, I also want to take a little time to edit and post the epilogue for A Perfect Ten and to work on the next chapter of Dinner And a Show which I've been getting a lot of requests for lately :) And then summer's starting so I'll have even more time for HA! and fanfiction, which means even more updates and that, they'll come even quicker (as long as my writer's block keeps itself at bay in terms of my other stories that I didn't have the foresight to write out drafts of in advance like I did with this one, lol)!
Anyway, please review again and I really hope you guys liked this chapter :) And as for what's to come in chapter 5…Helga puts Arnold in another very awkward position, certain new people come on the scene, certain surprises are to be had… I'll work on it as much as possible so that I can def get in done in two weeks ;)
Happy Reading!!!
~Azure129 aka Jenna
AXH FOREVER!!!!