"Don't fucking play dumb and tell me why!" The words ran on repeat on Brittany's mind and nothing else registered. She understood Santana said other things but the blonde's mind couldn't grab onto anything other than the coursing pain that flowed in her body over those words. She messed up so horridly that her closest friend, the girl she fell in love with had called her dumb. She looked at Santana through the teary haze, hating herself more and more as she saw the pain etched all over the Latina's beautiful face.
"Santana, I'm so sorry, I wanted to tell you earlier but I didn't know how to. I wanted to so bad but each time I tried to bring it up, something told me you weren't ready for me to tell you. Maybe you still weren't ready but it doesn't matter because now you know. I'm so sorry," Brittany sobbed, dropping to her knees. "You're right, I'm so stupid." Her body was shaking and it was obvious that she was having trouble breathing but Santana couldn't bring herself to do anything.
Shock paralyzed the Latina as she stood over Brittany, looking down at her with an unreadable expression. She'd been so angry that she hadn't realized all of what she said until she saw the blonde break down. Not only did she admit her feelings but along with that, she said the most unforgivable thing she could to the blonde. She had called her dumb.
Throughout the times they spent together sitting on that piano bench, Brittany had confessed the sadness she felt every time anyone called her stupid or dumb. The Latina was flabbergasted; unsure how anyone could ever accuse her of such a thing. She explained to Santana that even if she had a decent level of understanding when it involved math and certain sciences, Brittany had issues with words and boredom.
She knew what she'd want to say but the words that came out of her mouth were never understood. And when she'd get bored during tests she had in classes, she couldn't help but doodle away and forget about whatever it was she was supposed to do. Her tendency to get bored earned her a label she didn't agree with and most certainly didn't deserve. Santana couldn't for the life of her understand how no one, save herself and very few other, saw what a genius Brittany was. She saw things differently, sure, but a nongenius could never rig the set up she had at the mall.
"Brittany, I didn't mean to call you dumb or anything, you know, because you're not." Santana's cheeks flushed as she began to fidget with her fingers; something Brittany recognized as a nervous habits of hers. "You're sort of the smartest person I know."
"No, San, you're right I was st-"
"No, no. I was angry, still sorta am but I have no right to say things that aren't true." She closed her eyes and ran a hand through her dark hair, sighing before dropping down and opening her eyes to look at the blonde. "I just… why didn't you tell me?"
"I hadn't realized you were a unicorn," Brittany whispered, wiping at her eyes. "I knew you were special; I always knew that but didn't understand how until you told me. But you've always been so… so scared."
"Britt, I'm not… I'm not." Santana felt her chest tighten as she tried to think of something to say, anything.
"I'm a bi-corn, y'know?" Brittany offered up, sensing the other girl's panic. "I don't talk about it much because when I do, my friends get… weird. Marley starts to blush and stutter, Sam does the clueless baby fish face and Rachel starts talking about her dads." Both girls found themselves rolling their eyes at the mention of the aspiring broadway star. They shared a small, brief smile until their previous somber attitudes returned. "I know people here aren't always nice but that doesn't mean you should hide your magic. I believe in you, Santana. And, if you want me to be completely honest, I will."
The brunette simply nodded, unable to get her mouth to form words.
"Okay." Brittany took a deep breath then quickly plowed ahead, determined to get absolutely everything off her chest and clear the air. "I was seven when I saw you for the first time. You walked into the studio like a small princess and that's exactly what I knew you were. I remember feeling so nervous because I didn't know how to act around royalty. When I saw you dance, I felt so happy because you were the best one in class; better than Paige who always used to brag. I loved watching you dance around in your own world." The blonde felt her body relax as she recalled those times and the simplicity behind them.
"I didn't think you ever noticed me but I noticed you all the time. Thinking about it, I think I started loving you from the moment the instructor said your name without even knowing it. I remember how badly I wanted to go up to you and say hi but I was too afraid that I wouldn't say your name right and you'd get upset. Every day when I got home from then on I asked my daddy to help me learn how to say your name the right way.
"Later, when school started up again, I remember I was so happy because I saw you on the bus in the morning. I spent the rest of the school day excited to go home simply because we'd be going home together. I wanted to sit next to you, but then I noticed Quinn and I couldn't just slide in, that's rude. Plus, Quinn kinda scared me."
The blonde stopped for a moment to study Santana, taking in the features she often found herself dreaming about. The girl's dark eyes were soft but serious and her full lips were pulled down into a small frown. All the previous pain that was once as plain as day faded away into something more manageable and that gave Brittany hope.
"When we were in fifth grade was when I knew I liked you, maybe even loved you. It was maybe a few weeks before the accident…" A familiar lump formed in the blonde's throat. She didn't feel too sad, just… emotional.
Santana watched as the blonde struggled to continue, barely managing to keep her arms to herself. "What did I do?" she eventually asked, hoping that was enough to help the girl. Santana was still hurting but there was something so incredibly soothing about Brittany's voice and honesty. Especially since the quirky girl managed to squeeze in the 'L' word a few times. Still, she didn't know if physical contact would be the wisest thing.
Brittany laughed then, letting a few tears roll down her cheeks as she gazed into Santana's eyes. "You punched Finn in the face when he called me stupid."
The Latina's brows shot up at the blonde's giggles but a smile of her own found its way onto her face. It was a bittersweet memory she had.
"I remember that," the brunette nodded. "Finn was being annoying then randomly started yelling at you. He had no right to."
The blonde's laughter faded but a small, wistful smile remained as she shrugged. "They all did it."
Santana's heart tugged painfully at that and she couldn't resist any longer; she threw her arms around the lanky teen and held her close. Her breath caught in her throat when Brittany pressed her face to the Latina's neck and mumbled against her skin.
"Uh, Britt..." Santana cleared her throat, awkwardly trying to pull back while her face burned. She couldn't face that just yet.
"Right..." With a small sigh, she let Santana go and stood up, reaching down for the other girl. "Come on, join us for dinner, okay?"
"I don't think I can, not today after... everything that happened today." The Latina reluctantly got to her feet, trying to ignore the look Brittany gave her. She simply couldn't touch the blonde if she wanted to leave. "I should get home."
"Okay but, um, San?"
"Yeah?" She was already halfway out the door with her hand on the knob.
"Will you be there tomorrow? It's okay if you won't. I'll understand," Brittany said gently.
"Uh, yeah."
"Really?" Brittany's blue eyes were wide and hopeful and beautiful.
"I guess," she replied with a small smile. The moment reminded Santana of that night years ago when she first played the piano with her mystery player, with Brittany.
"Please?" The blonde caught on, a twinkle in those baby blues.
"Okay." Santana smiled broader, stepping further out. "I promise," she tossed over her shoulder as she quickly retreated out of the house.
A/N: Not very long and maybe a little rushed? I don't know, I sort of liked this one but wished I could get out more. Sorry if it wasn't so wonderful, my brain is still in recovery. I wrote like 16 pages in one period of 11 hours on the economic/business opportunities of my local area and got an A on it, so yeah, recovery.
On a happier note... Brittana is ALWAYS ON! Gah, can't wait to see them gracing my tv.
Anyway, have a fantabulous time wherever and whenever you are (: