Locket and Let Go

Hinata tapped the door lightly, but didn't receive an answer. She turned to Neji who was cautiously turning the doorknob and pushing the door open slowly. He peered through the gap to see if Shikamaru was asleep. Neji was surprised to see him on his knees with his arms resting on the windowsill, looking out through the opened window.

We need to get outside.

"He's feeling a little shy, I think." Alecto said, briefly glancing back at the cousins. Neji sat at the foot of the bed while Hinata stood next to him, fiddling with her fingers. Alecto made her feel a bit anxious.

"Why would Shikamaru be shy?" Neji asked. Alecto quirked an eyebrow at him as Hinata took the notebook from his hands, patting his shoulder with it playfully.

"He let both of us read some very personal thoughts. It's normal to be shy about that." Alecto gave her a small smile.

"Smart girl." Hinata blushed, not meeting his eye. "You don't need to fear me, Girl. I won't hurt you."

"I-I know, b-but..." She didn't finish her thought. She had a gut-feeling that Alecto wouldn't hurt her, but that didn't ease her anxiety. Neji patted the bed besides him, encouraging her to sit. Hinata opened the notebook to Shikamaru's entry and sat quickly, still not meeting Alecto's eye.

Don't be shy. I think they understand that you don't want to talk about what you wrote.

Neji felt the right side of his body heat up exponentially as he and Hinata panted slightly because of the already high temperature of the room, but even more so as Shikamaru and Alecto switched places. Neji brushed hair away from his eyes as he stared at Shikamaru, who ran a hand through his short choppy hair.

"I don't really want to talk about it." He said shyly, looking up at them with big dull eyes, his cheeks slightly pink. Neji and Hinata nodded.

"That's okay, Shikamaru. I think we have a fairly good idea of what you meant in here." Hinata said from around Neji, tapping her fingers lightly against his notebook. Shikamaru nodded as he picked at his cuticle on his left hand. He began chewing on his nail.

Silence.

"I miss her." Neji and Hinata instantly knew that Shikamaru was talking about his mother. They decided to remain quiet, letting Shikamaru control the direction of the conversation. They noticed his thin hands start to shake as he continued to chew on his nail.

Neji felt a strong tugging at his chest as he heard Shikamaru sniff again and brush a frail hand against his face. Neji went to comfort Shikamaru, but was surprised when he felt a soft yet firm grip on his left wrist. He turned back and realized that Hinata was preventing him from moving to Shikamaru. He quirked an eyebrow at her and was very surprised when she had a firm look in her pale eyes and features.

"Don't touch him." She mouthed, widening her eyes in a warning-manner. Neji stared at her in confusion.

"Why?" He mouthed back, Hinata noticing that her cousin was starting to get a little angry with her for preventing him from holding Shikamaru.

"Just don't." She mouthed again, the unusual look of firmness in her eyes sent a strange chill through Neji's body. Neji turned back towards Shikamaru.

Silence.

"You miss your mother?" He asked, making Shikamaru nod and sniff again.

"Yeah. I guess I miss her more than I realize I did." He sniffed again. Neji pulled against Hinata's firm grip on his wrist, but was again surprised when she tugged heavily against him. He felt her dig her nails into his skin slightly, as though giving him another silent warning.

"I wish she was here." He rubbed his eyes wearily. "She promised she wouldn't leave me." He whimpered and chewed harder on one his nail. He began to rock his body slightly.

"Ouch, shit." Shikamaru hissed as he bit his nail too hard and nicked his skin, causing a small bit of blood to appear underneath his nail.

Hinata pulled a handkerchief as she stood, leaning over Neji to hand it to Shikamaru. The Nara turned his dull brown eyes up towards her and took the handkerchief delicately, a small embarrassed blush covering his face. He used to handkerchief to blot at the blood underneath his finger as a small gleam of light caught Hinata's eyes. She turned towards it.

It was Shikamaru's mother's locket.

Neji followed her gaze towards the locket and quirked an eyebrow as Hinata quietly walked over to it, gently taking it off the hook on the wall. As she turned around, Neji widened his pale eyes at her, silently asking her what the hell she was doing. She turned her gaze up to Shikamaru as she walked over to him, sitting between him and Neji.

"Here," She said cautiously, dangling the locket in front of Shikamaru's eyes.

Shikamaru stopped fiddling with his fingers as his dark eyes followed the side-to-side motion of the locket. His heart seemed to pound in his ears as the small silver heart swayed from side-to-side like a pendulum. He felt his surroundings fall away from him, as though the locket was putting him under some kind of spell.

xXxXx

They were sitting on a pale-blue blanket near the bank of a pond in the park within the village. His mother placed two puzzle pieces into the puzzle board as his big brown eyes followed her elegant fingers. He tapped his small fingers against the surface that their puzzle was on as he searched for the last few pieces to complete the boarder.

"Try this one." His mother's soft voice said as she handed him a puzzle piece.

He looked up at her with a curious look on his face, taking the piece from her and trying to figure out where in the boarder it went. She tapped her finger against a certain part of the puzzle, hinting of where the piece went. He placed it there and as it fit, he looked up at his mother with a new gleam of excitement in his eyes.

She smiled kindly, her eyes softening.

"Good job, Shika."

"Thank you, Mama." She chuckled.

"Looks like we're done with the boarder, Kiddo." Shikamaru stretched his arms above his head and turned to look back at the pond, letting out a cry of excitement.

"Mama, look!" He pointed at a mother duck leading her ducklings across the water. He jumped up and ran towards the pond, his mother following him hurriedly.

"Shikamaru! Don't run off!" He didn't hear her as he stood at the edge of the pond, the sunlight reflecting in his big brown eyes.

He bounced on the platforms of his feet excitedly, his eyes following the ducks swimming across the pond. His mother smiled at him as she tipped-toed quietly behind him. Shikamaru let out a scream of surprise and laughter as his mother grabbed him from behind and began tickling him.

"Mama! Stop it!" He cried as he tried to get his mother to stop tickling him. His mother's bright emerald eyes shone down at him with fondness as she lifted him off the ground and held him across her mid-section.

"My word you're getting big!" She laughed as she carried him back to their blanket.

She dropped him on his feet and he flopped down ungracefully, staring at his mother with a wide smile as he fiddled with his fingers. His mother sat down on their blanket, running a hand through her long dark hair. She sat cross-legged in front of him, her dark brown hair falling in front of her bright emerald eyes. She laughed lightly as she shook her head.

"Please don't go running off like that, you silly boy." Shikamaru's eyes shone.

"Sorry, Mama. I just got really excited." She leaned forward and poked his nose playfully.

"It's okay. You're my baby boy and I don't want you to get hurt."

Silence fell between them as his mother went back to working on their puzzle. Shikamaru's eyes dropped to the gleam of light on his mother's chest, where her locket laid. He had always been curious about her locket, but all he knew was that it had his baby picture inside. She mentioned that it had another picture inside it, but she never went into detail about it. His mother never took off the locket and when he would ask her why, she never answered. His brown eyes followed its pendulum-like motion.

"Shikamaru?" His mother's soft voice broke through his thoughts. He made eye contact with her.

"Yes, Mama?"

"What are you looking at? This?" She held up a blue puzzle piece. Shikamaru hesitated slightly.

"Mama, why do you have that?" He pointed at her chest. She cast her eyes down and fiddled with the heart locket.

"Come here." She said and Shikamaru crawled over to her, sitting in her lap as she held the heart out to him.

She opened it.

"This is you when you were a few months old." She pointed to his baby picture.

"Who's that?" He pointed to his biological father. His mother was silent.

"That's your biological father." He looked up at her, his head resting slightly against her shoulder.

"Where is he?"

"I don't know."

Silence fell between them as Shikamaru fiddled with the closed locket. His mother's dark hair graced his back as he continued to stare at the silver locket.

"Mama?"

"Yes?"

"How come you never take this off?" He felt her body stiffen. She gently took the heart out of his small hand and held it in her own.

"It means a lot to me, Baby."

"Why?" His mother suppressed a sigh.

"I keep you and your father in my heart because I love you so much." She kissed the top of his head. He looked up at her, who was smiling fondly down at him as sunlight caught her eyes.

"I love you too, Mama."

"I'm glad to hear that." Shikamaru made a kissing sound and blew a kiss up to his mother, smiling. She gasped dramatically.

"That's for me?" She grabbed the kiss out of the air and placed it on her chest, over the locket. Shikamaru nodded.

"Of course!" She hugged her son close to her, burying her face in his dark brown hair, inhaling his scent. She stared into nothingness as she felt Shikamaru grab her locket again. She pulled it away from him.

"Stop that." Shikamaru frowned slightly.

"Sorry." She smiled lightly.

"It's quite alright." She paused as she stared into her son's big innocent brown eyes. She brushed his hair away from his face.

"Mama, are you okay?" She smiled again.

"Oh yes." She paused again as she looked down at the locket in her hand. She dangled it in front of her son.

"You'll understand this when you're older, Baby. I promise."

xXxXx

Shikamaru blinked rapidly, surprised to feel his eyes to be wet. He tossed Hinata's handkerchief to the side as he fiddled with his mother's locket. He felt Neji and Hinata eyeing him carefully.

"She said I would understand this whole locket thing when I was older."

"And do you?" Hinata asked, throwing Neji off with her steadiness. He quickly darted his eyes at the back of her head. Shikamaru hesitated for several moments before nodding.

"I think so. She never took it off because she felt like it kept my biological father and I close to her heart because she loved us so much." Hinata smiled lightly.

"That makes sense." He looked up at her with glassy eyes, a small smile on his lips.

"She always got defensive when I touched it." Hinata thought for a moment.

"Maybe she saw that as you touching her heart and somehow threatening to take you and your father out of her heart." Shikamaru furrowed his brow at her, thinking. Neji raised an eyebrow.

Well that's an interesting thought.

"So maybe," Hinata continued carefully, looking at the locket in Shikamaru's frail fingers. "You can put a picture of your mother in the locket so that you can keep your mother close to your heart…kind of like how your mother saw it." Shikamaru's eyes narrowed slightly, but he remained quiet.

Hinata eyed him cautiously, carefully thinking through her words. She had been debating this thought for a little while, but now this time as a good opportunity to say something.

"She's your mother." Hinata said, causing Shikamaru to look back up at her.

"I know." Hinata felt Neji poke her side lightly, as though giving her a silent warning. She ignored him.

"What I mean is that since she's your mother, you can't erase her from your life." Shikamaru's eyes narrowed again.

"I can try."

"But you can't." Neji grabbed her wrist with an alarmed look in his pale eyes. He was surprised that Hinata had directly challenged Shikamaru on his mother. He saw Shikamaru's grip tighten on the locket and his dark eyes become wet.

"I've been doing well so far."

"You can't erase half of your bloodline. She's part of who you are…Shikamaru…you can't get rid of her." She paused. "You have to accept what happened to her, not reject it."

"Hinata—"

"Just because you deny and reject what happened to her, doesn't mean that it never happened." Hinata continued, interrupting Neji.

Shikamaru's features softened dramatically. Hinata's words penetrated his heart and mind painfully, causing his throat to become tight with unshed tears.

She is correct, Child.

Shikamaru was quiet.

Child,

I know.

It was Alecto's turn to be quiet.

I know I can't get rid of Mom. I know that she's part of who I am. I know what happened to her, but I don't want to admit that I couldn't do anything. I don't want to admit that I didn't see it coming.

You were fifteen years old and she was your mother. She was good at hiding things from you and she wanted to keep it that way.

Doesn't make it any easier.

I know.

"Shikamaru?" Hinata's soft voice broke through to him. He looked up at her, his brown eyes shining in the light.

"I know…I know what happened to her…but I don't want to let her go."

"Can't or won't?" Hinata asked, wanting to push him. A tear slid down Shikamaru's thin face.

"Both."

NejiXShikamaru

Alright Gang,

As always, patience and reviews/PMs would be greatly appreciated!

When-Rabbit-Howls