Here's another chapter! Enjoy!

Chapter VIII: You Were Once Important To Me.

Dean never really expected to talk to Balthazar about Cas, purely because of the fact that they pretty much hate each other. Then again, they did have one common interest; their mutual friend Castiel Novak.

So, maybe that's why Dean is torn between being completely surprised and totally expecting it when Balthazar corners him in the corridor just as he's leaving the Great Hall.

'Hold it, Winchester.' He states and all Dean can do is just roll his eyes, turning back to him with a raised eyebrow.

'What do you want Roche?'

'I want to know what's wrong with our darling Cassie.' Balthazar replies and Dean grinds his teeth together. He's probably the one Cas has been talking to all Summer; forgetting about Dean so he can spend more time with the smooth ass dude with the deep and smooth voice.

Well, fuck him, and fuck Cas for thinking that Dean didn't care about his problems; didn't want to help him.

Except Dean can't do that, he can't just forget about Cas; telling him to go and fuck himself because he doesn't think Dean would help. He can't do that. If anything, he wants to go and ask him what happened again, make it clear that he's not going anywhere until Cas tells him everything and he knows that Dean cares about him, because of course Dean cares about him. There's a reason he's been worried sick for months now, and it's not because he didn't care. Quite the opposite

However, this isn't Cas standing in front of doesn't even know where Cas is now, probably ran away as soon as the Welcoming Feast was over.

It's Balthazar that's standing in front of him, and he wants answers; answers that Dean doesn't have.

'Listen, Balthazar, I haven't got a fucking clue what's happened to your darling Cassie,' Dean sneers and he doesn't miss the way Balthazar's eyebrows raise at his words. Since when did think Cas was his? 'If you want to know what happened, ask him and maybe if he tells you, you can enlighten me. All I wanted to know was where he got the bruises and cuts from; why he looked like he'd been living on the streets for the whole of the Summer Holidays, and he told me fuck all. So, tell your darling Cassie that if he wants to talk, he knows where I am, but other than that, fuck him and fuck you, 'cause I've done nothing wrong.'

With that said, he turns on his heel and walks away, leaving Balthazar with nothing more than a raised eyebrow, his blue eyes still studying Dean's back as he leaves him behind.

Dean's got enough to deal with; he doesn't need this added guilt on his shoulders. If Cas doesn't want Dean in his life, then fine. Dean's got to deal with his NEWTs this year, and he's got to get good ones. He wants to, needs to, follow in his mother's footsteps. He needs to get either Outstanding or Exceeds Expectations on his exams, though he'd be better off getting an Outstanding just to make sure he could accepted for Auror training. They couldn't say "no" to someone who got five Outstandings, right?

God, who the hell is he kidding? What are the chances of him making it as an Auror in this time? Voldemort and his Death Eaters running around as if they own the place and as much as he hates admitting it, they pretty much do.

He's talked to McGonagall, he knows how hard it is to be accepted into the Auror training, and it's going to be even worse now. They don't know who to trust, whether they're really intent on being Aurors or just trying to get into the Ministry to help Voldemort.

There's got to be a good deal of people working in the Ministry that are working for Voldemort; hidden Death Eaters that are using their position to leak information.

Who the hell does he think he is?

He shakes his head before he gives the password to the Fat Lady, and after giving a small huff, he climbs through the Portrait Hole.

He can't even keep his friends, how is he supposed to make it as an Auror?

~oOoOoOoOoOo~

Dean doesn't get a chance to talk to Cas until a few weeks before the Christmas Holidays. Things have changed with his classes and he doesn't have any of them with Castiel now.

Not that Dean's complaining about that, he's still pissed that Cas doesn't trust him enough to tell him about his problems. That he doesn't think Dean cares about him. So, he's thankful that he doesn't have to sit in the same room as him, otherwise he may've lost it by now; either deciding to shout at Cas and tell him that's being a selfish bastard, or start throwing punches - neither of which is a good idea, he realises.

And he keeps hoping that he doesn't bump into him at all, because he knows that one look at his face; seeing those blue eyes closed off and stony again would break something inside of Dean, and he's not sure whether fists would start flying or if tears would start flowing; maybe a bit of both.

He shakes his head. What are the chances of him bumping into Cas? He hardly came out of his Common Room before Dean knew him, and it was only with Dean's coaxing that he came out when they were friends, but he's pretty certain that he's just sitting in his Common Room once more, secluded in one corner with a book or something.

Dean scoffs, turning another corner as he heads back to his Common Room aftervisiting Charlie at the Ravenclaw Common the holidays she broke up with Gilda, only because she was moving to France and Charlie knew she couldn't do the long distance thing again. She was pretty torn up about it but that's where Dean came in, comforting her and that's why he's out after hours, despite the fact he hasn't done it since Fifth Year.

'Excuse me?' A voice sounds and Dean stops, freezing mid-step before he gulps. He closes his eyes and bows his head, his breath catching in his throat as the voice calls again, 'What are you doing?'

He swallows hard again before he turns on his heel, slowly turning around to face the owner of the voice; the face of Castiel.

He watches as Cas' face changes, turning from the closed off, authoritative, "Prefect mode", to pain and hurt and confusion before falling blank; no expression whatsoever, not even a hint or trace of emotion.

'Dean.' He mutters curtly and Dean's half expecting him to turn on his heel and storm away, but he stays in the same place and Dean can see some feelings breaking through his wall; hurt being the most prominent one, and it seems to make things seem better, because he'd rather see pain on Cas' face than see nothing. As twisted as that sounds.

'Cas?' Dean replies, a brief smile tugging at his lips before it quickly falls off, because he's still pissed at Cas, still annoyed that Cas didn't even trust him one bit to tell him anything. But this is his friend, his best friend, and he can't stay mad at him, no matter how much he tries.

He takes a step forward and feels a bit better when Cas doesn't back away, doesn't thaw out and run. So, he takes another step and another until he's a metre or so from Cas, and that's when he stops, because he's not wanting to get any closer and scare him off. He knows Cas isn't a scared little animal, but he doesn't want him to run; this could be his chance to patch things up. He's not going to let it slip through his fingers.

He doesn't say anything, not sure what to say to his friend… ex-friend… or whatever the hell they are now! Dean's certain that Cas is always going to be his best friend, he just isn't surewhether or not Cas will continue to give Dean that title.

So, in the silence of the corridor, he takes that moment to study Cas and notices that the cuts on his face are disappearing. There's just a small silver line on his cheekbone now, the others have all completely disappeared. Dean knows from his previous experience that by the time the Christmas Holidays are over, that silver line will have disappeared completely.

His green eyes trail to Cas' neck, trying to see the remnants of the ugly bruise he saw there the first day of term, and he sees that it's yellow and fading. It settles something in Dean's stomach, something that he didn't even know was twisting and churning inside him.

'You really shouldn't be out at this time,' Cas eventually says and Dean frowns at him, his eyes darting away from the bruise to meet his gaze. 'You could get into trouble.'

Dean doesn't know how to feel about that; uncertainty floods his veins because is this Cas caring about him? Does he actually care whether or not Dean gets detentions or gets in trouble, even though he spends no time with him nowadays? Does this mean that Cas isn't going to write him up like he should do? Let the Head of House, in this case McGonagall, know that Dean was wandering the corridors at night, after hours?

'Charlie broke up with Gilda… she's not exactly in the best of places.' Dean trails off because he's not sure why he's telling Cas this; does Cas even care about Dean's friends anymore? But at least it explains why he's out at this time at night.

More feelings flood Cas' expression and Dean finds himself thanking his stupid runaway mouth. There's curiosity there now, and it's starting to outweigh the hurt and pain and he's almost thanking the fact that Charlie broke up with Gilda because it was that information that caused Cas' expression to change… but that wouldn't be a nice thing to do, so he doesn't. Not even one little bit.

'What happened?'

'Gilda's moving to France, to Beauxbatons with all this fighting going on. Her parents aren't really one to fight and such, so they're going there to get away from it. And Charlie knows that she won't be able to do the long distance thing, so they broke it up.' Dean finds he can't tear his eyes away from Cas', even though he's wants to. 'Even though it was her decision, it doesn't stop her from being upset, y'know?'

Cas nods his head, not saying a word and Dean can't really blame him. What was he supposed to say? But then he's talking anyway.

'Tell Charlie I'm sorry; it's not easy losing someone you…' he trails off and looks down to the ground and Dean feels his heart clench.

'Cas,' Dean starts, taking more steps closer until he's pretty much pressed up against his friend. He looks straight into his eyes, and before he knows what he's doing, he's got both of his hands on Cas' shoulders and he holds on for dear life. 'You need to talk to me, man, you can't bottle this up. Tell me what's wrong, I can-'

He falls silent, his fight faltering when he sees Cas closing up once more, his eyes turning steely once more and he shrugs out of Dean's grasp. Dean's hands fall limply at his sides once more, and he clenches them into fists, trying to stop himself from punching either the wall or Cas.

'Oh,' Cas sneers, his lip curling and he takes a step closer to Dean, firmly pushing himself up against Dean's chest and he tilts his head upwards to look into Dean's green eyes, seeing as he's an inch or two taller than Cas. 'I see how it is, you don't have to talk about your family and your fucked up life, but I do, just because I'm shutting you, the amazing Dean Winchester, out?'

Dean feels himself shrinking away with each word coming from Cas' mouth and he swallows hard, instinctively taking a step back from him, but Cas follows him, making sure that he's still crowding in on Dean's personal space; still crowding in on him and making him feel uncomfortable, and he never thought he'd say that about Cas. Never.

'Cas.'

'Save it, Dean. You can take your damn hypocrisy to the others and leave me alone, 'cause I'm not fucking interested.'

And with those words and a final sneer towards Dean, he turns and walks away.

And all Dean can do is stand frozen to the spot, watching his best friend disappear.

~oOoOoOoOoOo~

After meeting Cas in the corridor that night; after having his friend hiss those words at him; after seeing Cas glare and sneer at him, Dean's firmly decided to have a permanent attitude of "fuck you" towards Cas. He just wanted to help, there was no need to react like that.

Except there was, something in the back of his mind declares and he grinds his teeth together, turning over in his bed at his Uncle Bobby's house to bury his head in his pillow.

'What're you doing, Dean?' Sam's voice sounds from the door and he lifts his head to see his little brother leaning against the frame of his bedroom door.

'Braiding my hair!' Dean retorts, rolling back ver so he's lying on his back again, and with the new space created, Sam walks over and sits down on his bed. 'What the hell does it look like? I'm sitting in my room, sulking.'

'Care to tell me what you're sulking about?' Sammy prods but Dean just raises his eyebrow and scoffs, turning his head away from his brother as he pulls himself up so he's sitting once more, his back resting against his wooden headboard.

'Not really, Sammy, that's why I was doing it alone.'

Sam bites his lip, turning his gaze away from his older brother for a second, his brown eyes scanning the room for a minute before he sighs and turns back to Dean.

'It's about Cas, isn't it? That's who you're sulking over, right?'

Dean's silence proves his point, so he narrows his eyes marginally and waits until Dean finally meets his eyes once more before continuing, 'What the hell happened? You've been so fucking depressed since the summer!'

'Watch your language!' Dean admonishes before rolling his eyes. Oh, who the hell was he kidding? He's not going to start acting like Sam's father even more than he already does; he doesn't deserve that weight on his shoulders either. They've got Bobby; Bobby will look after Sammy now.

'Like hell will I "watch my language"!' Sam retorts, his eyes narrowing even further. 'Tell me what the hell happened between you two!'

There's something about the way he's looking, about how desperate and determined he is to get Dean to talk that Dean does; he tells him everything. About Cas agreeing to write, about him stopping out of the blue, about him being cut and bruised and filthy at the train station and then about their meeting in the corridor two weeks before the Christmas Holidays.

When he's finished, he starts a mini rant about how Cas had no right telling him to go to hell, because Dean just wanted to make sure everything was fine with Cas and make him feel better, and he's just about to Cas call every name under the sun when Sam cuts him off with a scoff.

'He was right, Dean!' Sam exclaims, rolling his eyes as his older brother looks hurt but he doesn't really care; he need to make his brother see sense, instead of driving an even bigger wedge between himself and Cas, the only friend he's really had outside of family since Charlie. 'You expected him to talk to you when you don't do the same thing with him? Trust is a two-way street, Dean, you need to remember that.'

And with those words, Sam rises from his bed and walks out of Dean's bedroom, leaving him alone once more with nothing but his thoughts.

He lets out a shaky breath.

Jesus fucking Christ, he was a hypocrite. Who was he kidding? Of course Cas had every right to snap at him and walk away from him, telling him to fuck off and leave him alone.

Dean has yet to tell him anything; he hasn't told Cas that his dad left, even though he's sure that Cas knows that with the way he talks, but he hasn't told him the story. He hasn't told him about his mother or how that's affected him. Hell, he hasn't even sat down and told Cas stupid little facts about himself, like his favourite colour or his favourite sports and the team he supports, and he's expecting Cas to turn around and tell Dean what happened with him over his holidays?

And he didn't even realise it until younger brother pointed it out to him. He's in his seventh year, and his brother is only in Third Year, and here he is getting told off by him. He's really that stupid and childish and fucked up that his thirteen-year-old brother had to call him out on his shit.

Well, he's not going to be like that anymore. He knows Cas and he needs Cas in his life and he's not about to sit back and let him walk out of it. Fuck that. He's going to fight; it's been a long time, a really long time, since he fought to keep someone in his life.

And if anyone is worth fighting for, it's the nerdy little Hufflepuff that said he'd pull Dean out of hell.

~oOoOoOoOoOo~

He's determined. That's definitely obvious. They've been back for three weeks and despite his recent revelation that he's not going to let Cas disappear from his life that easy, it's much easier said than done. He doesn't have any classes with Cas, and NEWTs are really becoming a pain in his ass, with every single teacher giving him homework every single lesson. And he knows that his homework, his NEWTs come first, and okay, that sounds really fucking weird coming from Dean's mouth but he knows it's true.

But now, he doesn't have to worry about that. He's worked all fucking weekend, missed a trip to Hogsmeade just to make sure all his essays are complete and now he has nothing left to do, hence the reason he's storming through the corridors, heading to the Hufflepuff Common Room to tell Cas that he's not letting him be so fucking stupid; that he's not shoving Dean aside that easy and that Dean's not letting go of Cas unless Cas explicitly tells him that's what he wants.

He's got everything planned out, right down to the last detail, but the one thing he didn't have a plan for was Cas not being in the Common Room. But how was Dean supposed to thing about that? The little nerd normally never left the Common Room!

But he should've known, Dean's got no freaking first time he gets a chance - or nerve - to confront Cas, trust Cas not to be there.

'Where the hell is he?' He demands, his green eyes narrowing as they study Balthazar, not sure whether to trust the other Hufflepuff or not. He's still a dick in his eyes and maybe he's saying Cas isn't in the Common Room just to keep Dean from seeing him; maybe Cas is in there and Balthazar is just being a jealous, annoying little prick.

'He's not here, Winchester,' Balthazar retorts and Dean's jaw locks. 'He told me he wanted some peace and quiet, before he left. I asked where he was going and he didn't tell me. And I'm quite sure I wouldn't tell you anyway; don't you think you've hurt him enough?'

'Oh, go and fuck yourself.' Dean hisses before he turns on his heel, planning on heading back to Gryffindor Tower and taking this as a sign that hey, maybe him and Cas aren't supposed to best friends. Maybe this is fate telling Dean to forget it.

'Fuck fate.' He declares to the empty corridor, earning him a frown from the passing Fifth Years. But he doesn't care. Fate is nothing. He wants to be friends with Cas and he's going to be friends with Cas. Fate's not getting a say in the matter.

Now he just needs to think about where the hell would Cas be.

Peace and quiet. That's what Balthazar said he was looking for. Where would Cas go if he wanted peace and quiet?

Dean stops walking, pausing in the middle of the corridor in order to think, really think, about where Cas would go if he wanted to be alone. It had to be somewhere that not a lot of people knew about, but where the hell in Hogwarts was a… secret…?

'Dean, you stupid son of a bitch!'

He takes off at a run, glad he knows this castle like the back of his hand, thankful for all his days running about with the Weasley twins because he knows shortcuts now. Knows how to get from the corridor he's at now to the one he needs to get to quicker than most people could.

I need to find Cas. I need to find Cas. He thinks as he runs down the corridor and sighs with relief when he hears the sound of the door appearing from nowhere.

He takes a deep breath, trying to get his breathing back to normal, trying not to get his hopes up incase Cas isn't actually here. Then again, this was their space; it was more their space than it was Dumbledore's Army's. Why wouldn't he be here?

He reaches out and puts his hand on the door handle and with a shaky exhale, he opens the door.

He holds his breath as he enters the Room of Requirements, hoping and praying to both God and Merlin hat Cas is there; that he's where Dean thought he would. It doesn't just mean that he's finally found Cas, it means that he knows Cas as good as he think he does, knows where he goes in his times of trouble. It doesn't matter that he knows fuck all about his personal life, because he knows how his mind works and how his heart beats; he knows Cas.

And that would mean everything to him, knowing that he still knows his best friend; knows that fate has no fucking part in this; it's what Dean wants and hopefully what Cas wants too.

He sighs in pure relief when he sees the outline of someone sitting on one of the comfy chairs in front of the fireplace, and Dean frowns when he finally has a chance to look around the room. This… it's made up exactly like Gryffindor Common Room; Cas has been in there, he knows that from nagging the Prefect into breaking the rules, living a little and practically dragging him inside the Common Room.

Who'd have thought that his "peace and quiet" area was the Gryffindor Common Room? It somehow settles something inside of Dean, because this clearly shows him that Cas hasn't forgotten about Dean; doesn't hate him like he makes out sometimes.

'Cas?' He ventures, closing the door behind him so no-one else can stumble in on them; not now, not when Dean's determined to fix everything between them.

He knows he probably wasn't supposed to catch it, but he does; the barely audible sigh of defeat and Dean swallows hard at the sound. Here Cas is, sitting in the Room of Requirements which has shaped itself to look like Gryffindor Common Room, and he's sighing as if he still doesn't want Dean here. Talk about mixed signals.

It always seems like one step forward and twenty back when it comes to Cas; though he's certain the feeling is mutual.

'How did you find me?' Cas enquires, not looking around to face Dean and because of this, Dean doesn't move continues to stand by the door – or where it would be if it were still there – and stare at the back of his head.

Dean takes a hesitant step forward, only one step closer before he stops, his hands curling into fists to stop himself from doing anything else. He can't go losing his temper. Not now.

'I went to the Hufflepuff Common Room, and that dick… uh, Balthazar,' he quickly corrects himself, 'said you weren't there and that you were looking for "peace and quiet" and, well, it took me a minute or two, but then I realised that if you were looking to be alone, you would come here looking and the Room would've shown itself.'

Cas hums softly, before he enquires, 'So how did it show for you?'

Dean reaches up to rub the back of his neck, even though no-one is around to watch or see the glimpse of embarrassment and nervousness shown on his face.

'I, uh, I thought about finding you, well, needing to find you.'

'"Needing" to find me?' Cas asks, finally turning to face Dean, who in turn lets out a shaky breath as he takes another two steps closer. There's another chair sitting in front of the roaring fireplace and Dean can't help but wonder if Cas has imagined Dean sitting there; wishing he was there. Something tugs inside him when that thought occurs to him, but he doesn't think much of it as he makes his way over to sit in the empty seat. It could just be coincidence after all. The Common Room does have two seats normally.

'Yep, needing to find you, Cas.' He clears his throat and turns his head, looking to the fire but he turns back to Cas when he hears him scoffs.

'Well that certainly clears things up.' Cas mutters sarcastically with a roll of his eyes.

Dean clenches his jaw in order to stop the reply that's bubbling and brewing in his mouth. He needs to keep a cool head, the last thing he needs is Cas getting pissed and leaving because they get into yet another petty argument.

They really needed to learn to talk, that's for sure. How do you talk to someone that your not sure wants to listen?

'My mum died when I was four,' Dean says instead and from the corner of his eye, he can Cas sharply turn his head to look at Dean, wide eyes and raised brows, but Dean continues to stare at the fire. He doesn't continue straight away, trying to sort his thoughts, stop any tears and find the courage to keep going prevents him from continuing straight away, but after a minute or two, with Cas waiting patiently, he continues, 'She was an Auror; she's the one Sammy and I got magic from. My dad's just a Muggle. She, uh, some Death Eater didn't believe Voldemort was dead, just that body was, and that he needed another vessel or something, I'm still a little iffy on the details.

'He thought Sam was that vessel apparently - something Dad and me and everyone else that knows have never told Sam - and Mum caught him trying to take Sam. She shouted, Dad heard and came running up, managed to get Sammy out and gave him to me, told me to take him outside and not to stop. So I did. He was six-months-old at the time, tiny, and I wasn't that big either but I needed to save Sam.'

He stops for a breath, reaching up to shakily wipe away a tear that he told himself would not fall.

'Apparently by the time Dad went back in to save her, the whole room was on fire. They still don't know what the hell happened, but there was, there was nothing left of her.'

He falls silent, looking down at his hands which are clasped firmly together, twisting and untwisting and Dean didn't even realise he was doing it.

The shaky exhale that follows is enough to break Cas out of his stunned silence.

'I'm sorry.' He declares, his voice cracking and Dean looks up then, confused, but when he sees tears in Cas' eyes; pity and fondness and a caring expression are mixed up on his face and the second he meets his eyes, Cas' hand is suddenly on top of his and he looks down at it with a frown. 'You didn't have to tell me that, Dean.'

'But I did, Cas!' Dean affirms, his eyes looking up and locking with Cas' azure ones and he shakes his head, closing his eyes for a brief moment before he opens them again. 'Cas, I had no right asking you to tell me everything without giving you something in return. I was a fucking idiot, no seriously,' he adds when Cas chuckles as if he's joking. 'It took Sammy, my thirteen-year-old brother, telling me I was being stupid to realise I was.'

He then shakes his head again because he hears how that must've sounded, 'Not that I told you this just so you'd tell me whatever happened over the holidays, I just… I just thought you had a right to know. That's all.'

He looks back down to his hands, which still has one of Cas' placed over the top of them, and he feels a small blush creep up his neck and wishes that it would go away. But there's a nice warm feeling buzzing away in his stomach when he looks at their hands, Cas' gingerly laying on top of his, a simple sign of comfort that Cas probably doesn't realise how much it means to Dean.

'I don't remember much about her,' Dean eventually continues when the look in Cas' eyes becomes to much for him, and the silence becomes too deafening. 'I know everyone says I look like her; same eyes and mouth and that. I know she used to sing "Hey Jude" to me instead of a lullaby and she used to make me the same soup her mum made her when she was sick. But sometimes, I forget what she looked like or smelled like.

'My dad was never around, determined to hunt down the bastard down, we travelled about, staying in motels, sometimes at my Uncle Bobby's but I pretty much raised Sammy. And now my dad's left to go and fuck up another kid, so it looks like I'm all Sammy has now.'

And wow, he didn't think he was still so pissed at his dad for walking out. But oh, who was he kidding? He's always going to be pissed at his dad for just walking out on them; acting like he's changed and that he's going to be a good father, seen the error of his ways and is trying to make it better, but no, he just wanted to lull them into a false sense of security and couldn't even be man enough to tell Sam and Dean the news to their face.

Yeah. He's always going to think his dad is nothing but a dick.

'I know you must resent your dad, but at least you knew him. My dad left when I was only eight-years-old; they don't tell me why, but I can't escape the feeling that he left because I was magic. It was a perfectly normal family until I came along. Michael, Raphael, Gabriel are all loved and adored by the street and my little sister, Anna, is considered an angel amongst them. I've got another brother, called Lucifer, yeah, I know,' he adds when he sees Dean's expression. 'He's the second oldest, just a year younger than Michael, and, I don't know him. He got kicked out for fighting with my dad when I eight; even though he left three months later.'

Cas takes a deep breath in, his hand tightening briefly over Dean's hand.

'As for the cuts and bruises this year… Raphael has always had a… problem with everything. It's not like the others readily accepted me, but something stuck with Raphael. I was seventeen and I was able to use magic, so I wanted to use magic. He walked in when I had enchanted the knife to spread honey on my toast, and things… escalated.' He sighs. 'He started shouting and that got the attention of everyone else, and my family didn't know what to do, but Raphael started hitting me then. Michael and Gabriel rushed to get him off of me, but I did what came instinctively. I cast a spell on him. And I guess the Ministry is screwed up, because I didn't even get a letter saying I had a ticket to Azkaban for using magic in front of a Muggle.'

Cas shakes his head, and Dean can see the pain that's clear in his eyes, as if he's waiting for Dean to turn and leave for being like that with family. So, Dean turns his hand that still has Cas' resting on top of it, lacing their fingers together before he even realises what he's doing. The minute he realises, however, he thinks about pulling his hand free, but then Cas gives his hand a soft squeeze and the thought leaves Dean's mind. He needs this just as much as Dean does.

Dean lets out an unamused chuckle as he squeezes back, 'God, we're really fucked up, ain't we?'

Cas join in, chuckling with him as he runs his thumb over the back of Dean's hand, trying to soothe him and hopefully not spooking him. He takes it as a good sign when Dean gives his hand another tight squeeze and doesn't let go.

'Yeah, we really are.' Cas mumbles, a soft smile tugging at his lips as he sees Dean make a "gee, thanks" face, as if he was expecting Cas to protest that fact; say that they weren't fucked up and a little bit of trouble at eighteen-years-old was totally normal. He chuckles again, turning his head to briefly gaze at the roaring fire in front of them. 'At least we've got each other though; to be fucked up together?'

Dean lets out a loud laugh, shaking his head in amusement at his friend, before he shakes his head once and then nods it. A wide smile tugging at his lips and it feels like the widest, realest smile he's gave in a long time.

'Yeah, Cas, at least we've got each other.'

Please review? It would mean the world to me! :D

~Charlotte.x