Chapter 2

Achmed awaken, he saw Peach licking his face. "Get off me Dog!" He pushed Peach away and looked out the window. "Is the twister carrying our entire house?!" He sees all the animals and building flying around. "This is impossible! The twister was supposed to tear everything apart, including that cow!"

Ached then sees his friends and family flying by. He saw Aunt Cow flying by sitting on a rocking chair while knitting. "Aunt Cow, look where the Hell you are?! You are being carried by an f**king twisters. He then sees Optimus Prime and Patrick rowing a boat. "What the F**k?"

Last but not least; he saw Coco La Bouche riding on her bike. "Ahhh, Peach hide! You're still wanted by the F.B.I.!" Then Coco turned into a wicked old witch riding a motor cycle. "Alright Peach, what's in that cake!?"

The house suddenly landed. "The house survived the land, what else can happen!?"

Achmed and Peach opened the door to see where they are at. They saw that they were somewhere else. They see plants, ponds, small buildings, and bridges. "What the Hell is this?! Everything here ….. what sort of grey shades are these!?"

Achmed was only shocked by the colors. "What witchcraft is this?! Everything's shades of grey are something else. I think I will call them colors."

Peach barked why colors? "Well it's not the same name as my first love that I don't cry everyday about ever since she dumped me for an infidel!"

They entered a village, then Achmed said with no effort of acting, "I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore."

(Everyone booed.)

"Now that was not acting you two." #52 said to Stick and Rock.

Back to the play; Achmed then sees a bubble. It grew larger and larger until someone appeared. It was the Good Witch of the North, played by Gandolf the Grey. "…Seriously Peach, what was in that cake?"

Gandolf cleared his throat. "You must be the new witch that smashed the wicked witch with the house." Achmed looked and saw feet sticking out from under his house. "I don't believe it, I actually keeled an infidel for once! I'm not a disgrace anymore!"

Gandolf called out; "Children, this witch has saved you. This is your new heroine!"

"Hey I'm no drug!" stated Achmed. "But I believe Peach has some."

Different children form multiple-shows, movies, and games came out from hiding. "What the Hell's happening?" asked Achmed. Gandolf started singing about Achmed smashing a house on the wicked old witch. "Gandolf's not supposed to sing! Can someone tell me what's going on?"

They grabbed Achmed and forced him into a sleigh. "Ahh, I'm being kidnapped!" They rode Achmed around as the children still sings. "I got to get out!"

Achmed jumped off the sleigh and ran off, but everywhere he ran to, he only see more children singing. "Get away from me infidel kids!" He kept on trying to find a safe spot, but he ran into the mayor, kids that represent the Lullaby league. "What the F**k!" and the Lollipop Kin. "Help me Allah! If you do, I'll promise to blow up more people like you never told us to!"

As the children were about to finish their song, a cloud appeared, scarring everyone. Then Coco La Bouche came as a witch. Achmed asked Gandolf, "You lied to me you old fart! You said I keeled her!" Gandolf then said, "You only killed the Witch of the East, she's her older sister the one from West. She's much worst."

Achmed asked, "Then wouldn't me keeling her sister makes things worst? She looks pissed and … Coco?"

While kicking the children, Coco asked, "Who killed my sister?" Everyone pointed to Achmed. "You dirty pile of bones!" Achmed hid behind Gandolf. "Wicked Witch, aren't you forgetting the ruby slippers?"

Coco answered, "The slippers my awful mother gave to my little sister? They're mine!" She was about to take the slippers, but they vanished and her sister's feet curled up and went under the house. "What happened ….. to my sister's feet!?"

Gandolf answered, "The Ruby Slippers are right here." He showed her that the slippers are on Achmed's feet. "Ooooooh, sparkly!"

The Witch became furious. "Give me those slippers or else I'll kill you!" Achmed screamed and took off the slippers. "Here take them!"

So Coco took the slippers and laughed evilly. "I now have the ruby slippers! Soon I will be President of … no seriously, what happened to my sister's feet?"

Peach bit Coco and gave the slippers back to Achmed. "Achmed, keep the slippers, they have a powerful magic!" Achmed awed in amazement. "Can they get me home?" asked Achmed. "NO!" shouted Gandolf while threatening to kill him.

Coco became angry. "Rrrrrrr, I may not get those slippers here, but don't worry I'll not stop! I'll get them my pretty and your little dog too!" She laughed while disappearing. "She thinks I'm pretty?" asked Achmed.

Achmed looked at Gandolf. "Now what?" Ganodolf answered, "If you want to go home, then the wizard of Oz might help you."

"Wizard of Oz, is he good or wicked? Or is he a real wizard or just a phony?"

"SILENCE!" shouted Gandolf. "Hey that's my catchphrase!" complained Achmed.

Gandolf told him to go to Coal City. "How do I get there?" asked Achmed. Gandolf didn't answer but instead disappeared in his bubble. "Hey get the Hell back here!"

Achmed got pissed. "Stupid Manlady! Now how are we going to get to the Wizard?" All the children came to him. "Follow the yellow brick road. It will take you to the wizard!"

Achmed looked down and saw the yellow brick road leading out of the village. "This is great Peach, now let's go!" They started walking out of the village, but the children stopped them. "What the Hell do you think you are doing?" asked one of the kids.

"Hey you told me to follow this road." said Achmed. "No no no, you have to start right at the swirl!" They all pointed at the center. "Why would I do that? It's pointless."

The children did not approve. "Do it ….." Achmed shook his head no as Peach became scared. "No, and why would I listen to a bunch of kids?" The children looked at each other. "Some of us are of the corn."

Achmed and Peach immediately ran to the center and start following the yellow brick road. "We're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Because because because because becaussssssssse, ….. ehhhhhhhhhhh?"

Achmed had an idea. "Wait, what if I keel the Wizard, then I'll get all his magic!"

"We're off to keel the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!"

So Achmed and Peach skipped along the yellow brick road to get to the Wizard of Oz so they can keel him and get his magic.

"Heyyyyyyy, isn't this the same plot to the last Childhood Hating Parody?" asked Stick. "Say you have a point there." said #52. "Also I notice some characters from the same sources in the last one." said Rock.

Back to the play; Achmed and Peach came to a fork in the road at a corn field. "Hey those kids ripped us off!" said Achmed.

"Hey hey, are you lost!?" asked someone. "Who said that?" asked Achmed as Peach barks. They looked around and only saw a scarecrow. "Well it's obviously not the scarecrow. Now let's see." They continued to look around. "Hey I'm up here."

They looked at the scarecrow and found that it was the one talking. "AAAAAaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh, possessed scarecrow!" cried Achmed. He took out a flamethrower to try burning him to kingdom come. "Oh no, fire!" The scare crow barely got off his pole and run around the field.

As Achmed chased the scarecrow, he also was burning the entire corn field. He pissed off the farmer, the farmer's employees, and one employee humping the farmer's daughter, who's uuuuuuuuuuglyyyyyy!"

"Hey you deflowered my girl!" said the farmer. He started chasing the employee. The employee started running with the scarecrow and the farmer started running with Achmed.

"Hey you're burning my farm!" shouted the farmer. So he began chasing Achmed around. "Ah, crazy farmer! Hey I live on a farm too!"

The scarecrow and the employee notice they weren't being chased. "Well that's there a reli….. ah the scarecrow's alive!" So the employee started chasing the scarecrow, until the scarecrow started fighting back with a rubber chicken.

So after a long and dangerous chase, Achmed and the Scarecrow meet up at the fork after everything was burned to ashes, including the farmer, the employees, and the ugly daughter.

"So scarecrow, how come you ….. Patrick?"

Patrick cleared his throat, "The name's Scarecrow." said Patrick being snooty. "Yeah I'm just going to call you Patrick, so why are you working here?"

Patrick got sad. "Because I failed elementary school because… uh …. Uh …. Uuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

Achmed got annoyed by Patrick. "What the matter, no brain?" asked Achmed. "That's it! I'm a scarecrow, and I'm terrible at it. I can only scare away black birds."

Achmed and Peach starred. "Well Patrick, what will you do if you had a brain?"

Patrick started singing. "I will squeak, squawk, and squeal; until I can do more. If I only had a …. Uh … uh …. Uuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

Achmed and Peach looked at each other. "Hey how about you come with us, we're going to keel a wizard. When I get his magic, I'll just give you a brain."

Patrick started hopping with joy. "Patrick happy!" Achmed then asked, "Hey if you're made of hay, how can it hold your body like bones?"

So Achmed, Peach, and Patrick started skipping along to a randomly chosen path to see the Wizard. No seriously, Dorothy didn't know which way to go, and the scarecrow couldn't decide. Did anyone else catch this?

While they were walking; Coco was watching them, until she left. I don't know why she was there. Did she pay the trees to be dicks or something? Speaking of trees, Achmed found some apple trees. "Great, some apples for Peach."

He was about to pick some apples until, "Hey, they do not belong to you!" shouted the tree that was …. Seriously, Wispy Woods?

"Hey what's the big deal? I thought fruit bearing trees want animals to carry their seed bearing fruits off and eat them. Then the seeds will either be dropped there to grow, of get swallowed. But once they pass the body, they will be inside the droppings that will be used as fertilizers, which will help them grow." said Achmed.

"Good point." said Wispy.

So after Wispy gave them some apples, they skipped along until they found a familiar robot. "Optimus Prime? He's been recycled!"

Yes, Optimus was not looking his best. He was trying to say something, but couldn't get the words out. "Maybe he's just shy." said Patrick.

Achmed then notice an oil can nearby. "He's just rusty." Achmed asked where he wants to be oiled first, but then. "Duh the mouth."

"But he doesn't have a mouth." pointed out Patrick. "It's covered by some metal plate."

(Your welcome)

They oil his mouth and he started to talk. "Who have given me the ability to speak, thank you!" said Optimus. "His voice is awesome!" said Patrick.

"Yes it is, not let's see if Godzilla2915 know enough about Transformers to get Optimus right." said Achmed.

"I have no heart and those trees pure water on me." said Optimus. "He does not." said Achmed.

Optimus was about to fall; Achmed, Peach, and Patrick tried to catch him, they were then smashed to death.

The en … wait we already did alternate ending jokes in the first one.

They were smashed like a Looney Tune. After pumping themselves up, they asked about his heart. "I just don't have one. I can't weep, slop …."

"Don't you DARE SING!" demanded Achmed. "How about you come with us for the Hell of it? The Wizard will probably give you one." said Achmed. Optimus agreed to come along and they started singing along down the yellow brick road.

But then Coco La Bouche appeared on an old cottage. "Not so fast …." But she noticed that she just missed them. "Ahhh, not again!" Smoke appeared and she vanished. But she actually jumped off the cottage, looked at the audience awkwardly, and walked away.

Our heroes found themselves in a dark forest. "Be careful, there could be lions, tigers, or bears!" warned Optimus. "Oh my!" said Patrick.

"Hold on, we all know that one of things will just come and eat us. So let's just wait here till one come."

They then hear complaining. "Hey keep it quiet, I'm dreaming of food." They then saw Garfield sleeping in his bed.

"Garfield the cat?" asked Achmed. Garfield got off. "Hey I'm a lion!" Patrick then asked. "A cowardly lion?" Garfield yawned. "No, just a hungry one." Peach started barking at Garfield, but he stratched her in the face.

They all looked at each other. "Why?" asked Achmed. "I don't have food here." He answered. "Well we're going to see the Wizard, he'll give you something to eat." said Achmed.

"Alright, but I don't want to walk. Have a car?" They all looked at Optimus. "I don't have the heart to care to transform."

"I'm out." said Garfield as he climbs back into bed.

"Now hold on there, what's more of a pain? Not sleeping, or not eating?" Garfield thought about Achmed's question. "You got me there. Let's see the Wizard."

Now the team is complete! They skipped along singing We're Off to Keel the Wizard. "Hold on, kill?" asked Garfield. "Yeah, I'll steal his magic." answered Achmed.

"Do you think that will work?" asked Optimus. " ….. no."

"Well I guess we just have to ask them our demands." said Patrick. "Wait, he won't just give us our wishes." pointed Garfield.

They all looked at Achmed. "What, Gandolf said that he'll help me get home." His friends looked at one another. "Is there a price?" asked Garfield. "Wow, I never thought of that." answered Achmed. "The prices for our demands have to be sky high! A trip home, a brain, a heart, and food for a cat."

"Lion."

End of Chapter