Author's Note:

Sometimes, things come to me in an instant, both fresh and interesting. Sometimes, I stare at the screen or fidget my pen for hours at a time. I wonder how those writers do it? Or even, Manga-Ka who has to write up stories every week. Oh well, back to the story.

Chapter 12: Holding Me Back.

I find myself waking up in a strange place. It was dark, and empty. Rubbing my eyes, I glanced at my surroundings. Blank. Empty, black space surrounds me for as far as my eyes could see. My head was drifting and spinning, I feel dizzy, like when I was riding the roller coaster. There was a hazy and tiring feel to everything, every action, everywhere I looked, and every thought that flows through my mind. As I struggled, getting on my feet, pain wrecked my body. Soft throbs pulsed from my hands, my arms, to my back. The throbbing only escalates the dizziness. For some reason, I started walking, pace by pace, step by step, my legs wobble as they go.

I find myself staring at my right hand. The strange feeling of disinterest struck me as weird as I closed and open my palm, slowly. My body feel cold all over.

Why am I walking? The thoughts flowing in and out are blurred and makes no sense. I can't remember anything.

Suddenly, I feel warmth coming from behind me. It was soft, gentle. Caressing my pained body with its soft presence, I find it hard to resist and turned towards it.

As soon as the light came into view, A tall, pillar of light shine greets me with its blinding rays. It felt grand, powerful, warm and pleasant. Its appearance compels me to start moving towards it. Even from a distant away, I could feel the gentle warmth emitting from its center. The feeling is.. nice, peaceful. I walked on with no thoughts, no decision, I just feel drawn towards the light, the warmth.

What was I doing before this? Why am I here? I don't know. All the questions comes into my thoughts, but the warmth just push it all away. Its like my body is doing what it wants without my consent, to rid itself of this bitter coldness and to be embraced by the only source of warmth now present before me.

It was still a ways before I reach it, but then, I felt something else. I hear a soft sound. I can't rightly make out what it is, but the sound is enough to make me doubt what I'm doing.

It sounds... like... crying?

That was when my empty steps brought me to an item, that seemingly appeared on the ground. It was... a hairpin? It looked small, and was covered with red hearts in it design. It looked well-kept. As I picked it up, I have a certain feeling of nostalgia, like I had seen this item a very long time ago. That was when the memory suddenly came into my mind. Though my senses dull, the memory was crystal clear and just as sharp.

I think I was five years old then, things were still simple. I wasn't introduced to the Mafia yet. I remember how I would find myself wandering into the park whenever Dad brought me out. Back then it looked like adventure whenever I climbed the poles or went through the slide. I would run and run around the place till I fall down on the ground exhausted.

The memory starts on a summer day. I can even hear the sounds of the insects buzzing like they were right in front of me. For some reason, I wasn't as hyperactive that day, and sat by the bench, watching the other kids play. That day was different, Dad wasn't with me. I was feeling a bit lonely and afraid as I went to the park alone. Now that I think about it, Dad probably dispersed some members of the Famiglia there to watch out for me.

As I strolled through the park, I came across a girl who was crying. She was sitting there by herself, on the ground, sobbing away. Her short, black bangs was beautiful, as they flow with the wind.

"Hey, don't cry." I called out to her, hoping to stop the flow of tears. And she did, and with it, I saw her emerald green eyes, which seemed to glow even in the light of the sun. She was wearing a cute little yellow dress, which gives off a calm atmosphere around her. "

Sniff.. Sniff." She wiped away her tears and got back on her feet, albeit softly and slowly, and got to my side.

"What's wrong?" I asked out, smiling.

"The hairpin my father bought me... I lost it..." The girl whimpers beside me.

"Where did you lose it? I asked out curiously.

"Somewhere in this park.." She meekly gave out the answer.

"Then the answer is simple: I'll find it for you!" I declared out loudly. The girl looked surprised when I shouted it out, but soon, her frown turned upside down.

Hah, the slew of memories that came after was all of me trying to find the hairpin, combing the park as much as I can. I looked into every bush, I searched every single tree there was in the park, I even dived into the pond when I thought I saw something shiny that might've been the hairpin. Every time, the girl was with me, following me around as I looked. She didn't help much, but it was okay. 'Us boys should do these kind of stuff, so that the girls won't have to dirty themselves.' was what I was thinking then.

The sight of a five year-old boy jumping into the pond was quite the sight indeed! By the end of the day, we finally found it under one of the trees we searched, and by then, my body was covered with mud, grime and small cuts and bruises.

"See, I told you I''d find it!" I presented it to her with a smile, before giving off a loud sneeze. That made both of us laugh.

"Thank you." She whispered as she bowed towards me before running back home. As she did, she turned one last time to give me a smile. Unlike anything before, gone was her shy smile, as it was now replaced by one of confidence and joy.

As the images finished, my body was still moving towards the light. Its warmth is still too alluring, and I feel a deep desire to bathe in it. I wandered on, the feeling of being lost and disinterest still remains. It felt so surreal, the background, though black as night, was also hazy and blurry at the same time. Each step I took made me feel like I could fall of into the darkness at anytime. There were these puffs of white smoke that seems to drift out from the light, somehow making it feel majestic. The lights itself seems to move and shift from their positions with a mind of their own.

That was when the hairpin vanished from my hand. It literally looked like it dissolved into sand and was blown away, leaving me confused. Then the crying resonated once again, this time I could figure out that it was a female voice.

Who's... who's crying? Why?

That was when something floated into my hand. It was in a soft red color. The item stopped my steps with a pause, as it too brought its own set of memories. I wonder why these memories seems to come together with these objects? It was a ribbon, and it looked really, really familiar, but, no one comes into my mind even when I dug deep into my thoughts. Soon, I find my steps halting as I was overwhelmed by the memories that is now flowing into my thoughts.

That was the first time I went into the backyard of the Zanna mansion. Back then, I was eleven years-old, and Dad had already gone missing for a year. I had already moved into the mansion, and had been informed of the Mafia and what I was to become in the future. I walked into this space filled with grass, bushes and trees with the Tear of the Zanna around my neck. I couldn't actually believe that this whole space was behind the mansion. It was like a whole forest behind the mansion. Beside me was with the girl who was said to be my caretaker, though she looks smaller than me. She has that red ribbon on the left side of the head.

"Here." Kiera said calmly, tossing me something that I would have never thought myself wielding, ever. As it twisted through the air, I could see white streaks as well as black. Catching it after I nearly dropped it, I was so surprised. It was a pistol, or a handgun, whatever you prefer to call it. The design looks... unique; jagged edges with a small bundle of fur dangling from the grip.

I don't know why, but it reminded me of a wolf.

Suddenly, a pulse of energy seemed to radiate out of the gun, at a fast speed.

"Huh! Wha-what's this?" I called out with a surprised tone.

"Fenris." Kiera gave out while standing at the side, eyes closed with her standing in a formal stance. She seemed completely unaffected by what just happened.

"What?" I was confused, I don't know what I should be doing exactly...

"Invoke the name." She gave out coldly, still as serious as ever. I stared at Kiera and her uniform as I wondered why she's so serious all the time. Come on, no one actually has a personality like that, right?

"Is there a problem?" Kiera questioned, finally opening her eyes to check.

"No, I just think that ribbon's really cute." I gave out without thinking. That was the first time Kiera showed a genuine emotion , her cheeks flushed with a tiny bit of red as she turns to avoid my gaze.

She looks.. cute.. It's no smile, but it's a start. I remember giving out a sigh before doing as I was instructed. That was when I Awakened for the first time ever.

"Fenris!"

The force given out was such a sudden turn of event for me, its strength so powerful, I screamed out trying to contain it, as it surges into my body.

"Aaaahhhhhh!" I yelled out, as the waves pulsed out, pushing some rocks and stones away, as well as the grass showing the effects of the force. I was even finding it hard just to hold on to Fenris. Even Kiera looked a bit surprised as the aura formed around me. I remember how exhausted I was after the whole thing.

Well, that was the first step in which Kiera started opening up to me. Training for full control of of the Awakening was difficult, but with Kiera by my side, I managed to complete it with no worries.

This time, as soon as the images end, the ribbon disappeared in the exact same way as the hairpin. Even though memories of my father, my Famiglia and Kiera, bits by bits, are coming back to me, I still find myself almost like I was in a trance, and started walking towards the light again. Part me wanted to stop, part of me was now afraid of what was gonna happen when I actually reached it, but nevertheless, I continued.

Pain was still throbbing in intervals and my movements are still as wobbly. It looked impossible, but the lights and smoke seemed more grand than ever. As I got closer, the light faded a bit to reveal a blueish-white door. The door by itself looked magnificent, towering over me like a giant. Griffins, dragons and angels were sculpted all over the edges of the door. The light, now brighter than ever, seemed to glow golden and has a holy feel to it. The warmth feels so inviting...

By now, the crying had gotten louder. I...I know who's voice is it. It's Kiera's. Kiera's crying.

"Kiera!" I forced myself to shout amidst this pain and fatigue.

In another sudden turn, I dodged to the sides and caught in my hand something that seemed to be flying towards me. It was a baseball, it looked worn and had a couple of small bloodstains here and there. This time, I know where this comes from even before the memories started flowing in. This was from the time I first met my best friend. There were some really strong memories attached to it. As I stopped a few steps from the entrance, again, the memories started bursting in, filling my mind with images of what happened then.

I just entered seventh grade. School has been difficult. I had to concentrate on homework and studies even after my training everyday, and because of that, my grades dropped a lot over the years. That year, as I entered the class, I already had a sort of a reputation where other students thinks I'm actually stupid. Because of that, I had little to no friends. I don't mind though, I didn't have the time nor do I want to involve them with any of the Mafia stuff.

The only guy who talked to me was Sergio. To be honest, he talked to pretty much everyone. He was helpful, nice, kind, and handsome, so it's no surprise that he got really popular, really fast. Everyday, he would walk towards me with intention to offer help for my studies. I guess he found out about my grades. Through this small tuition relationship, I learned of his belief, his 'Bushido Code' which seemed really noble.

Well, one day, when I was walking home, I saw Sergio getting beaten up behind an alley.

"This is what you get for trying to be 'Hero'!" The thugs, who was no older than me, shouted out as the rain fists down on Sergio.

"Protect the weak? Hilarious!" Some other guy exclaimed loudly, sounding annoyed, as he went in to punch Sergio. Sergio wasn't weak or anything though, even as he was taking blows from about six people at once, and bleeding, he retaliate whenever he could. As the guy went in for the strike, throwing that punch, Sergio dodged the strike with wobbly movements, and gave him a knee up his stomach instead. Still, as I looked on, it was fairly obvious that Sergio was getting beaten down by the overwhelming odds.

I wanted to help. But back then, I only had a red belt in Tae-Kwon-Do, so I was still afraid to engage in fights. Still I couldn't leave him there, so I did what I could. I brng out my baseball from my back pack, and aimed for the closest thug. Then, I threw it as hard as I could before charging in.

"Smack!"

"Yaarrrggghhhh!" I roared as I charged, giving the same guy I hit in the face with the baseball a front kick into the stomach.

"Amato!" Sergio gave out with a surprised face as I got to his side.

After that, we stood together against about twelve thugs behind the alley. I think we bonded a bit in that fight, blocking fists and trading blows as much as we could. I couldn't actually remember how many times I picked up that baseball and threw it against the attackers. By the end of the day, we were covered with bruises and blood, but we also had the same smile on our faces.

"Thanks." Sergio gave out, as we knocked our elbows together before going home. I think that event was what made our relationship as best friends possible.

As I reminisced the memory, a small smile just stretched across my face. I find myself holding on the the baseball, and then pitching it as hard as I can before it disappeared in mid flight. As I remembered more of my memories, I felt a need to turn around. Yet, the light still pulls me in nonetheless. With the warmth, my feelings seems to go away, and my thoughts just scatter. With the pain still throbbing, each throb as loud as the sound of my heartbeat, I made my way in front of the door of light.

When I was there, it felt like it was the end of a long journey. It felt like nothing else mattered anymore. I was tired, fatigued, dizzy and in pain. It just felt like it was time to stop. The light, flashing, flowing, was so welcoming in its glow. I just feel like falling through it.

Just when felt that that was it, that it was time to stop, to end, I felt a sudden tug just as I was losing strength and falling.

I turn and saw my friends, Kiera, Sergio and Gina, holding me back. Each of them had a life-like glow of light around them. Kiera was holding on my right wrist, Sergio was tugging my shirt back, and Gina was holding my left hand tightly with her right hand.

That was when everything disappeared and my consciousness just blanked out.

...

"Sniff..." I could hear the crying once more, this time clearer than ever.

"Sniff... Sniff..." The sobs went on, slowly. I felt cool, and the pain had lessened. As I opened my eyes, my vision slowly came back to me. A white scene. It felt safe. As the haze cleared, I could see Kiera sitting beside me on my left, putting both her hands on her lap and tears were slowly flowing down her cheeks. She is in her usual outfit, but somehow she just seems so normal.

I don't know why, but I feel this sense of happiness as I find myself lying on my bed in my room. Kiera hasn't open her eyes yet, and I haven't made a sound. Without thinking, I find myself raising my left hand to her face, and wiping away her tears. She opened her eyes wide with surprise as it happened.

"Kiera, I'm fine. It's good to see you again." I gave out in a soft voice. As she regained herself, she quickly turned to the sides and wiped away her tears.

"I'm happy to see that you're fine too, Lord Amato." She's still acting as strong as ever, but I know I heard joy in her tone.

A few days later, I was standing in the mansion, fully recovered. Sergio and Gina had come to visit. They were both so happy they started crying when they saw me, and that made me felt weird, I never had friends who cried for me before.

"What? I was out for three weeks?" I yelled out, shocked at the time I spent unconscious.

"Ya sure made a grand show on your first day, boss..." Vito gave out as he passed us on his way to the mansion's study.

"And Vito's back as well..." I muttered as I wondered if he helped. Together, Sergio, Gina and I catch up with each other, and soon, the mansion was filled with our chatter and laughter. Even Kiera had a smile on her face when she stood by my side. It felt like the whole thing never happened.

Well, I'm just glad I made it through!

Yes, the end of the 'Duty' arc, as in the duty Amato has as boss! Surviving through these things every day should be something common for him and his famiglia! Well, I think there's been enough action for a while, what do you guys think? As usual, praise, comment, or criticize in your reviews!