Chapter 3
At Coco's castle, the old witch and her trusty sidekick, no not the one in the movie, but Cosmo the Fairy, were watching our heroes exiting the forest with a T.V. that still has a VHS player. You remember what a VHS is? Darn whippersnappers and their downloads! "I will kill them now and I'll become the President of ReptarLand!"
She took out a potion. "I'll poison the flowers to poison them!" Cosmo took the potion and drank it. "You American fairy idiot, what are you doing!?" she asked while twitching.
"Hey I was thirsty. Magic is hard work!" Cosmo then fainted.
"Auhhhhhh!" she took out another potion and poured it on the T.V. "Flowers ….. flowers …." (Microsoft word won't help me spell papys.)
Our heroes exited the forest and say Coal City. But Achmed wasn't paying attention to how the city looks. "Hey guys … before meeting Garfield, did any of you notice in the forest that someone hanged themselves?"
Patrick and Optimus looked at each other. "I saw a bird." said Patrick. "Actually I do recall seeing something similar." said Optimus. "No it was a bird!" argued Patrick. "Suicidal dead person." said Optimus. "You know I think I saw that person at the try out for this play." said Achmed.
They eventually stop and ran through the flower field. But then Peach and Garfield started feeling sleepy, well Garfield already feel asleep. "Time for a fifth nap." He and Peach curled up on the ground.
"Oh this is terrible, it must be that wicked wizard." said Patrick. "Witch!" yelled Coco while banging the T.V. "Did you hear banging and the ground shaking?" asked Optimus. "Da what?" asked Coco.
"Hey we got to get these guys up!" said Achmed. "Hey why aren't you sleeping?" asked Patrick. "I'm dead you moron!"
They tried pulling the animals up, but didn't have the strength. "Hey Opitmus, you're the size of a freakin house! Why the hell are you useless at lifting?!" asked Achmed.
Just then Gandolf came and pour a bucket of ice on the animals. "Done." He walked away. The animals started waking up.
"Curses, Gandolf ruined my promotion!" cried Coco. Cosmo turned into a monkey. "But I'll get those slippers!" Cosmo asked. "Why do women needs more than one pair of shoes?" Coco slapped Cosmo. "That's a stupid question!"
"No it's not." said Achmed looking through the T.V. "Hey you cannot see us! Get out!" yelled Coco.
Achmed looked at Coal City. "Wow, what a dump!" Coal City it pretty much looks exactly like Emerald City, only made of coal. They started skipping along toward the city while the background singers sing.
Meanwhile at the Castle; wait, couldn't they have this scene and the last witch scene together. Seems kind of pointless, but anyway Coco jumped on her flying motor cycle. She started her motor cycle. "Time for a trip to Coal City!" Then her motor cycle stopped. She looked at the gas meter and saw that it was on E. "Who was the last person that borrowed my bike!?"
Cosmo raised his hand.
"Why didn't you refill it before you got back? I demand money from you, I can't just but in my hard earned money while you just us it for your own joy!"
Back with the good guys, they walked to the main door and shouted at the background singers. They rung the door bell and form a mini door thing came out Roxas. "Hi …"
The heroes notice he didn't seem in a good mood. "What is the matter?" asked Optimus. Then Roxas slashed the robot in the face! "You somehow took the role I was made for! I have no heart!"
After pulling Roxas off, Achmed told him that they came to see the wizard. "Sorry, nobody is allowed to see him. I haven't even seen him."
"Then how do you even know if he's real?" asked Achmed. "Have you seen Santa Claus and still get presents?" asked Roxas. "Tushay." said Achmed. I spelled that correctly, right? I think there was supposed to be a ` in there but I have no idea how to put it over a letter.
But then Achmed showed Roxas the ruby slippers. "Gandolf told me to come see him." Roxas lighten up. "Well that's a ticket in, but is there some origin to those slippers?"
"Actually no." said Achmed.
While still wondering what the ruby slippers are for or what it's actually role was, Roxas let them all in and disappeared for some reason.
Then the sleigh carrier came who is ….. Roxas? "Wait, aren't you the door man?" asked Achmed. "No, I'm the sleigh rider."
Achmed notice the animal pulling the sleigh. "Hey did that horse change color?" Roxas answered. "Yes, its mother was a chameleon."
So Roxas took them to a public bath. Not a pretty picture inside. When they came out, Garfield had a bow. I don't want to go into any more detail.
Everyone was singing happily until people started pointing at the sky. Coco was riding her motor cycle to create a sky message or whatever the correct term is.
When she was going to write Achmed's name, she realized something. "I don't recall ever learning that skeleton's name." So she just wrote something else.
Surrender skeleton drag-queen
Everyone was pointing up at the message form the witch. "Who's this skeleton? Let's asked the wizard. Let's assume it's that skeleton with the blonde girl for a dog."
They all ran toward the wizard's home, but a guard was blocking their way played by ….. Roxas again. "O.K. the wizard will take care of this, just leave somewhere."
After they all left, our heroes asked the guard if they can see the wizard. "Excuse me … oh not you again!"
Roxas told them to just get out. "But we can't; she's the drag queen." Patrick pointed at Achmed waving. "Well I guess I should ask the wizard about this, just wait here and sing a pointless song."
Well now I can get food. Trumpets started playing while Garfield stood up high. "If I…. was full, I'll sleep."
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"Did anyone see a string attached to his tail?" asked Patrick.
Everyone dressed Garfield as a king, but the people took this as a threat. "Ahhhh, new leader trying to overthrown the Wizard, kill him!"
They chased Garfield around, but stopped when they notice his bow. "That bow makes you look gay." So they all went home again. Roxas came back to tell them what the wizard said. "He said go away!" He marched back inside.
Our heroes' hopes died. "But but, who I'm I supposed to go home?" Achmed started crying. "The hobo told me that Aunt Cow will die. It's all my fault!"
Everyone started crying. "Whaaaaaaaa, you evil guard!" "How can you be so cruel?" The ones saying those words were not any of the actors. Achmed stopped crying and angrily looked at the audience. Stick and Rock was crying berserk while humiliating #52.
"Hey what the Hell are you doing?!" Peach started barking at the Hunters. "Your tears will be avenged!" "We'll convince the wizard to see you!"
Stick and Rock were about to go on stage, but #52 started slashing at them with his claws.
"Godzilla2915 you lousy self-promoter!" stated Achmed.
The next part was going to have the guard heartbroken by Dorothy's story; but do to some interruption, he was not in character.
(Spoiler to Kingdom Hearts 365/2 Days)
"I know I'm an nobody, but I just can't cry now." So one of the stage operators called over Xion and killed her. "Nooooo, who will I have ice cream with?!"
With the sadness in Roxas's heart or empty hole or whatever, he let them all inside.
As they walked through the hallway; Garfield's stomach was growling. "Hey keep that down!" demanded Achmed.
"Hey I'm hungry and I can't wait to see the Wizard." Achmed shoved Garfiald. "Just keep your stomach quiet!"
"Don't be hungry Garfield. We are almost to our destination." stated Optimus as his head was breaking the ceiling as he walks. "I have to use the bathroom." said Patrick.
Achmed turned to everyone. "Will you just be silent, I keel you! We should be at the wizard's room now and there he's .. he's …. Ahhhhh what is that!?"
In the Wizard's room; everyone watched in horror as the one playing the wizard was that CGI head in a glass jar from that Courage the Cowardly Dog episode about Courage being imperfect.
"You're not perfect ….."
The heroes screamed in fear. Garfield ran out of the room and jumped through the window. Hey, I know we just had that CGI head, but it's pretty funny how the Lion just runs away and jump through the window.
In the Wizard's room, the Wizard asked. "Get me the witch's broom." The heroes nodded and slowly walked out. Not saying another word.
End of Chapter
Every Death Mask left the theater; and outside #52 was scolding Stick and Rock. "What were you thinking? You don't know how much you humiliated me!"
Stick and Rock looked at each other. "What do you mean?" asked Stick. "We were just trying to get the guard to let Dorothy in." said Rock.
#52 started hopping. "You idiot, that is all just pretend! It's acting, you already know that!"
Stick and Rock looked at each other again. "We do?"
After a facepalm; #52 decides to go home. The two Hunters had no idea what #52 was talking about. "I don't know what you did, but we should do something for him." Stick's words inspired Rock. "Yeah, let's give him a hug."
But before they could do that, Roxas came and defeated them with his keyblades. "What are Heartless doing here?" he asked himself.