Chapter 4

After the wizard ordered Achmed and his friends to get the witches motor cycle (Yes I know I said broom in the last chapter. It was a mistake, please don't sacrifice me to Barney the Dinosaur!), they made their way to the haunted forest where they saw birds malfunctioning. They have to walk through the forest to get to Coco's Castle.

"Hey Garfield, what's with the hammer and butterfly net?" Everyone looked at Garfield. "I don't know, I was hungry."

They came to a sign, it reads, 'Witch's Castle up ahead. I turned back if I was alive, instead I'm just a sign.'

Garfield didn't smell food in the forest, so he walked the other way. Patrick and Optimus caught him though. "Don't be afraid." said Optimus. "What the matter, believe in spooks?" asked Patrick.

"Spooks? The correct term is ghost." said Garfield before yawning.

Then a ghost lifted Optimus up in the air and dropped him. Either that or it was a tree. "That was kind of pointless." said Optimus. "Yeah, that's the only spook in the whole story." Achmed said as he tried to help Optimus up.

"There's no pizza place here." stated Garfield.

Meanwhile; Coco was spying on them through her T.V. "Cosmo, get your fairies and get me Achmed. You can have your way with the other if you go that way, but don't harm the girl!" Cosmo saluted her and he flew out side and commanded the other fairies to get Achmed.

"Yes, Fly, fly! Ahhh ha ha ha ha …. AHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh…(pow)." Coco fell off the balcony.

At the forest; all the fairies began flying around our heroes. Only thing was that they took it as a joke. "Oh look, the big bad witch sent her fairies after us!" laughed Patrick. "They will not outmatch our strength." said Optimus. "They better have candy." said Garfield.

As they were laughing, Achmed was trying to tell them something. "Hey guys." He tried getting their attention, but they weren't listening. "HEY GUYSSSSSSSSSS!" The other heard Achmed finally and saw Achmed.

"These fairies are taking me and Peach away!" Everyone watch as Achmed and Peach were being kidnapped by fairies.

"Oh no, Achmed!" Optimus and Garfield tried catching up to them, but they had already flown too high. They were heading straight for the castle.

"That took too much out of me." Garfield fell fast asleep.

They heard Patrick calling. They saw that he was in pieces. "Oh it was terrible, they took my arms and threw them over there, and they took my legs and threw them over there, and they took little Patrick and-"

"STOP RIGHT THERE!"

At the castle, Coco was petting Peach evilly. "What a dog! Shame if something will happen to her!" Coco started laughing.

Coco looked at the frightened Achmed. "It was awfully nice of you to visit me with my lonesome." Cosmo started crying. "What about me? I'm keeping you company!"

"Please don't hurt Peach! She'll cry and we will never hear the end of it!" Despite Achmed's words, Coco threatened to drown Peach. "Wait, please don't drown her, this isn't a 2D Mario adventure!" Achmed couldn't take it any longer. "Fine, you can have them!"

Coco was about to grab the Ruby Slippers, but they repealed her. "That's right, I should have known. You need to die a certain way!"

"But I'm already dead."

Coco became confused. "I ….. I'll think of something!"

Without anyone noticing, Peach made a run for it. "She's running from her captives!?" everyone became dumbfounded. Peach ran away from some Thumb Thumbs from Spy Kids and ran out of the castle. "Yes Peach, run away and be useful!"

Coco placed an hour glass on the table. "Once the sand runs out! ….. I'll be back!" She marched out of the room to find a way to get the slippers.

Achmed leaned on the old T.V. and started crying. "I'm scared, now someone please pop out of nowhere and calm me down!"

Then Aunt Cow suddenly appeared ….. on stage?! You cow, you're supposed to stand in front of the camera behind stage! Cow ran off stage and appeared on the T.V. "Achmed, where are you? Time to not play hide and seek!"

Achmed began banging on the T.V. "I'm here Aunt Cow, I'm locked in the witch's Castle and-" But then he smashed the T.V. screen. "… oh crap! This was a rental."

Far away from the Castle, Peach ran back to the three. She barked at them. "I think she want to lead us to Achmed." stated Patrick. "You think?" asked Optimus.

So Peach leads them to the castle. They climbed up a mountain and saw that the main entrance was guarded by Thumb Thumbs. "This is just great. First there's no food, second Achmed got captured, third the castle is being guarded, and finally those guys don't have mouths to sing Ohh eh oh!" said Garfield.

The cat got too lazy to go on. "You can't just quit." said Patrick. "It is our sworn duty to save our dear friend that we just met this morning!" said Optimus.

Garfield looked at the castle and notice there was a Food Court. "I'll do it!"

They climbed down closer to the castle and thought about their next plan, until …. Ahem, until ….. UNTILLLLL!" Patrick, Optimus, and Garfield looked behind them. "Hey, where are those guards?" asked Garfield.

The curtains suddenly closed, leaving the audience confused.

"What just happened?" asked Stick. #52 shook his head. "I knew that a play that cost three dollars and have their acts weeks apart will be pathetic." He turned to Stick and Rock. "Come on, let's just head back and …" But he noticed that they were gone.

"What the?!" He quickly looked around and saw Stick and Rock sneaking behind stage. "Are you serious!?" He had no choice but to follow them in.

He found them hiding behind some fake trees. He grabbed them by the head and started complaining quietly. "You two idiotic, worthless henchmen, what do you think you're doing?"

They started hearing complaining from the actors. "What's the big idea, where are they?" Garfield was complaining to Achmed. "They just called and said there sick in the last minute. I knew hiring family was an idiotic idea!"

"So now what?" asked Fry. "The Thumb Thumbs playing as the other guards are just one trick ponies. Where can we get three convenient minions to play this part?"

Stick and Rock suddenly got an idea. #52 knew exactly what it was. "Don't you even dare!" But Stick and Rock jumped out while carrying #52. "We can do it!" They said while holding on to #52.

Achmed started complaining. "Oh what a big shock! Another ad for the Cross-Over Crystals! Hey, why not just rename this the Cross-Over Crystals side adventure? That will increase the views and reviews for the real story twice as big. Yeah Godzilla2915, we can make everything a commercial! I'll get the millions of dollars you don't have and well buy some time on billboards, T.V., radio, online, and even on the phone book that will someday become just a fairy tale!?"

Coco calmed Achmed down. "Achmed, we have no choice!" Peach then said, "Bark, I mean this is just for one scene."

Achmed looked at the Heartless knock-offs and sighed. "Alright, but this better be the last ad for the Cross-Over Crystals, or anything else."

Stick and Rock jumped for joy and #52 dragged himself to Achmed. "Alright, what do we have to do?" Cow answered, "Oh nothing at all, you guys just jump at them behind some rocks and they'll do the rest." #52 started feeling better, "Well it can't be that bad."

Later on; the curtains were moved and the Death Masks jumped at the three heroes, only to be beaten the crap out of them. "Ow, ow, this is the last time I go anywhere with you two!"

As the Thumb Thumbs were going inside, the three heroes disguised themselves and followed the guards inside. The only problem was Optimus's size. The disguise was too small for him and when he entered the castle, he started crashing through everything as the castle surprisingly still stand, but it was a living Hell for anyone close by.

"Oh God, the castle!" "Helllllp!" "I'm too young to die!" "I was going to propose to my true love today!" "Mommy, Daddy!" "My leg!"

They lose the guards and Peach led them up the steps to where Achmed is being held. They stopped half way and heard something odd. "Is that 'Night on Bald Mountain' playing?" asked Garfield.

Patrick, Optimus, and Peach listened carefully. "It is! Disney's going to sue and kill us all!" said Optimus. "Michael Bay was a part of this too!"

They reach the door and asked to see if Achmed was in there. "Hey, this is the bathroom!" shouted Cosmo. "Can't a fairy have some privacy in the bathroom?"

Which kind?! HA … sorry.

They ran to the second door and knocked. "Achmed, are you in there?" asked Garfield. Achmed ran to the door and began banging. "You guys came back, now get me out! Coco will be back any second!"

Meanwhile, Coco was skimming through books. "I cannot believe that I do not know how to get those shoes off!" On one of the books, something caught Coco's eyes. "Walla, I've found it!" She skimmed through the page. "I … I ….. I have to marry the skeleton!?"

Back with the heroes, Optimus just simple ripped the door off. They all hugged each other and ran out of the room. They climbed down the stairs, but only to have the door shut right in front of them.

They looked up the steps and found Coco and Cosmo, only now Coco is dressed in a wedding dress. "You, dead man. We marry now!"

"What the F**k?" asked Achmed.

All the Thumb Thumbs came in and pointed their spears at them. "Achmed, we leave for Notre Dame now!"

Patrick noticed a rope tied to the wall that held the chandelier over the Thumb Thumbs. "I got it!" Coco threw the hour glass on the floor. "Why'd you do that?" asked Cosmo. "…. I really don't know."

Patrick took this opportunity. "I'll get …. Uhhhh get … uhhhhhhhhhhhh." Achmed kicked Patrick in the shin and he pulled the rope, making the chandelier fall right on the Thumb Thumbs.

Chase Scene!

So the Thumb Thumbs chased our heroes all around the castle while Optimus destroyed most of it and countless people die. They entered the weight room and Patrick tried to push a shelf of weights at the Thumb Thumbs; but being made of hay, it didn't work. The Thumb Thumbs tackled Patrick and took him away.

They later entered the castle's motor shop and Optimus stopped and saw a car being inspected. Two men are looking under the hood. "Looks like the breaks are almost warned out."

"This is just sick to me." He stated as two Thumb Thumbs jumped on Optimus and caught him. "Hey how come his logic thing doesn't work and mine do?" asked Patrick.

Later on, the remaining heroes found themselves in the food court. "Now Garfield, this is a very tempting place, so try … oh come on!" Achmed and Peach notice Garfield wasn't with them. They searched through each and every food stand except for one. "Garfield must be at this lasagna place."

When they got there, they tackled Garfield to the ground. "You idiot! You just had to be a fat cat and …. You're not the Garfield we were looking for!" said Achmed as he noticed he tackled the CGI Garfield from that live action movie. "Woooooaaaaah! Get off me! I was going to break dance and move my lips when I talk and use a non-lazy voice."

"The real Garfield is too lazy to dance anyway." Then the Thumb Thumbs took Achmed.

They all gathered the heroes around in one room. Coco walked in and sang. "Ring around the Rosey ….. hey, where's the cat?"

"Lion!"

The voice came from a room. Coco opened it and yelled. "My bon-bon room!" Garfield had now gained ten pounds and there was only three bon-bons left in a 12ft. x 23ft. room. The Thumb Thumbs took Garfield and dragged him to the others.

"Well now that I have you all here, Achmed will watch you burn as we get married!"

So Coco decided to lite the end of her motor cycle on fire. She lifts up the end and…..

(Crack)

"Someone help me!" Coco cried in pain.

So a chiropractor came and fixed Coco right up. She then ordered the Thumb thumbs to help pick the cycle up. They moved it to a torch and the back tire was lit on fire. "Now get it to the scarecrow!" They started wheeling it to Patrick, up it tipped over."

"How had the butterfinger?!"

One Thumb thumbs raised his thumb. "You're fired!"

They lifted the motor cycle back up and they got it to Patrick. "Ahhhhh, fire bad!" Patrick's arm was caught on fire and everyone was trying to get it out as Coco laughs. "Yes, burn the children's how you say, cash cow cartoon character."

Achmed started jogging in place in fear. He then eyed a bucket of water. "Excellent!" So Achmed reached PASSED the bucket and took a fire extinguisher. He sprayed it onto Patrick and then on Coco.

"Hey, get this stuff off me.." Then the foam was being shot into Coco's mouth. She choked and gaged as her face turned purple and her eyes began bulging out. "Liquid!" she weakly called out. Achmed handed her the bucket of water.

She chugged all down. "Oh, that was a … was that water….. and was that used to clean the floor?!"

Achmed shook his head yes in fear.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm melting!"

She began smoking as she sank into the floor. "Who could have thought that a …" But then the trap door Coco was using as a felting effect started malfunctioning. "Oh cr-" Then the trap door shot her high into the air.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" She crashed right through the floor as stage equipment fell from the ceiling.

They stared into the ceiling.

Achmed moved to the side of the stage. "Will she be o.k.?" Someone whisper to just go with it.

"Oh no, she melted and her body went up to heaven!" explained Cosmo. The Thumb thumbs gathered around our heroes. "I didn't do it!"

"You defeated the Wicked Witch!" said a Thumb thumbs. "Hail Achmed!" All the Thumb thumbs bowed down to Achmed. "Ha, the terrorist wins! Next we will blow up …. Wait. Once we conquer everything, what will we do next?"

The Thumb thumbs continued to cheer. "Hail Achmed, you freed us from Coco and now … we're jobless!"

The Thumb thumbs got up and pointed their spears at our heroes. "Ahhhhhh, kill Patrick!" plead Achmed. The Thumb thumbs were about to kill our heroes, but then smoke started to appear. "We forgot to put the motor cycle's fire out!"

They saw the fire getting close to the gas tank. "Run!"

The vehicle exploded and countless of thumbs were thrown everywhere. All that remained were our heroes, and Cosmo. Seeing the threat is dead, Optimus picked the motor cycle up, well what remains.

"The Wizard didn't say he wanted it in one piece."

So our heroes now have the motor cycle and now Oz is free from the child hating lady. Garfield turned to Cosmo and asked what he will do next.

"Well I guess me and the other fairies will make a hay stack of the old witch which will bring her back to life for some reason. Then you and your dog will come back even though this was all a dream so Dic can actually make money with a classic story."

So they bid Cosmo goodbye as he starts planning for that plot-hole plan.

"Well guys, we just now go to Coal City in the next scene and …."

NEXT TIME

"God damit!"

End of Chapter