another chapter so soon? must be a miracle!

Chapter XIII: Promise to Stop and Think of Me.

He feels like all the air has been punched out of his lungs, as he looks down and sees Jo's face, cold and white, as she lies on the floor. Ellen is draped over her, but she seems to know that they're there, for she sits back, her hand still cupping her daughters cheek, and can't help but Dean swallow hard. The last time she did that, she was saying she'd see them again; before they left to fight this war.

She turns her head and when her eyes meet Dean's, his legs finally give out from under him, and he falls to the ground beside her. His knees collide with the stone floor, and it hurts but he doesn't pay attention to it, because in front of him is Jo. Lovely, bubbly Jo Harvelle, who was like him in every single way, yet somehow so different. He's what he imagines himself as if John had died and Mary had lived. Still got issues with losing a parent, but a whole different set of issues.

And now she's gone. The little sister he loved; the little sister that once or twice ventured into girlfriend territory. And even though they had agreed to never try anything like a relationship again, the fact that she was gone meant that they couldn't even talk about how that would work out. Whether they'd last or whether they'd collapse in flames, like they often said they would.

They couldn't do that now, and Dean's ready for bursting.

'I'm so sor-' he doesn't even get the sentence out of his mouth, for a sob chokes him and tears fall from his eyes. His hand comes up to wipe them away, but more follow the second Ellen's arms wrap around his body, pulling him into an embrace and resting his head on her shoulder. Her hand comes up to card through her hair and Dean can't seem to help the breathless sob as he clings to her.

He feels bad for this. Not because he think he doesn't deserve the comfort or anything, but because he had just lost a friend, a sister, Ellen had lost her daughter, and whilst family maybe didn't end in blood, it was still one of the strongest bonds.

Yet, here she was, wrapping her arms around Dean's body, running her fingers through his hair and whispering soft, comforting words and sounds into his ear. If anyone deserved this treatment, it was Ellen herself. She deserved to be comforted; she shouldn't be the one doing the comforting.

But Dean can't seem to make his mind realise that, for he tightens her hold on her, his fingers grabbing ahold of her shirt as he breathes in deep, trying to stop more tears from falling.

He forces himself out of her embrace eventually, though, turning back to Jo's lifeless body. He reaches out with his hand and cups her cheek, sucking in a deep breath when he feels how cold she is. He hates this. He hates that he can't protect his friends, the people he loves. How the hell was he ever going to make it as an Auror if he couldn't even keep the people he loved safe?

'Who did it?' He questions, his voice nothing but a snarl as he asks the question. No-one answers him, not right away, obviously afraid that if they tell him the name of the Death Eater, that he'd march into the Forbidden Forest and kill them. Not that he'd get that far. That's why they don't want to tell him, but when he snaps, 'Who was it?' in an even harsher voice, Ellen swallows hard and decides to answer him, just to put the poor boy's mind at ease.

'Meg Masters.' Ellen declares, her voice filled with venom as she utters the name of the person that took her daughter away from her. 'Well, she had some sort of creature with her, I didn't really have a chance to see what they were, but…'

'I'm going to skin her alive.' Dean sneers, his thumb tracing over Jo's cheekbone, noticing how blue her lips are, how white her skin is, how dry her hair looks. 'I am going to make her wish she had left this place the second that she…'

He doesn't finish the sentence, but he doesn't need to, judging by the way Ellen's hand finds its way onto his free one, squeezing it tightly. He had to stop himself before he uttered the words "killed your husband". It would've been too much for her, having the reminder that she had lost both her first husband and now her daughter.

'Losing you won't bring her back, Dean.' Ellen declares softly, her voice still strong despite how quiet it is. 'Don't go after her to avenge Jo. You know she'll slap you silly when you get to Heaven if you do that.'

Despite himself, Dean lets out a chuckle, finding it hard not to. There's no point in lying. If Dean had to get into Heaven alongside Jo, she would kill him again for dying for trying to avenge her. She was always so nonchalant about death; declaring how it's nothing; that it's notsomething that anyone should worry themselves about; how when you're ready to go, you've obviously done all that you were supposed to in that life.

Dean can't help but wonder if that's what her final thoughts were as well, or if she changed her mind. If she decided that death was something to worry and fear, as whatever creatures Meg set on her slashed at her abdomen, ripping her insides out.

'I don't want to let that bitch live.'

'And she won't, Dean, don't worry. She's never tasted a mother's vengeance.' Ellen growls, as her free hand comes out to grab ahold of Jo's hand, and Dean wonders if that's as cold as her face is, or if it's even colder. She always had cold hands, even when it was warm out.

Dean just nods his head before he feels Sam kneel beside him, and that's when he tears his hand away from Jo's cheek, and wraps his arm around Sam's shoulders instead.

~oOoOoOoOoOo~

'Harry Potter is dead!'

It's the first words that they've really heard since the hour armistice began. Of course, people had talked to them and there was constant noise around them, but this was the first sentence that had well and truly stuck; that had made all four of their heads snap up and turn to look at the doors to the Great Hall.

The whole room starts to mutter about the declaration, but before anyone can actually voice everyone's thought of "what the hell is happening?", Voldemort is speaking again and they're left to focus on his words.

'He was killed as he ran away, trying to save himself while you lay down your lives for him. We bring you his body as proof that your hero is gone. The battle is won. You have lost half of your fighters. My Death Eaters outnumber you, and the Boy Who Lived is finished. There must be no more war. Anyone who continues to resist, man, woman or child, will be slaughtered, as well every member of their family. Come out of the castle now, kneel before him, and you shall be spared. Your parents and children, your brothers and sisters will live and be forgiven, and you will join me in the new world we shall build together.'

Dean doesn't want to believe them, wants to believe that this is just some other ruse in order to get them out of the castle and then attack them, but he doesn't believe that. He can't. He knows the kind of person that Harry is, and he knows that he wouldn't have ran, but he also knows that he would've went into the Forbidden Forest in order to save people; to stop people from dying for him.

He swallows hard, trying to ease the panic that rises in his chest, because is this really the end? Is this the way everything is going to be from now on? A magical world run by Lord Voldemort; a person who would hunt down his friend, his Castiel, and kill him because of his blood? It can't be. It just can't be. He's not going to allow it.

But then everyone moves. They leave the side of their loved ones and head for the front entrance of Hogwarts castle, moving to find out whether Voldemort was really telling the truth, and Dean finds himself standing and following them, unable to stop himself, even though it means leaving Jo behind.

He knows that Voldemort is not going to be lying, but he needs to see it for himself.

He makes his way to the front of the crowd, tugging Sam with him as he does so, who in turn drags Jess along behind him.

When they hear an anguished cry, followed by a sick, sadistic laugh, Dean gets impatient and starts to become more forceful as he pushes his way to the front. There aren't a lot of people there anyway, but it's still more than Dean can tolerate at the moment.

When he gets to the front, he feels that every last shred of hope and faith has left him, when his eyes immediately zone in on Hagrid, and see him crying as he carries a body, with Voldemort's stupid snake, Nagini, wrapped around his shoulders.

'No,' it's Jess' voice, but Dean can't really pay attention to it, not as he really, truly sees that it's Harry that Hagrid holds in his arms, and not some lookalike; not some ruse by Voldemort to draw his enemies out of the castle. Not some lie.

Harry Potter is lying dead in Hagrid's arms, as lifeless as the people in the Great Hall; the people that died in order to protect him.

Dean doesn't know what to think when he hears Ron, Hermione and Ginny's screams, which sound even more horrible than McGonagall's, but for some reason, he finds himself shouting; finds himself joining in with the crowds as he tells Voldemort exactly what he thinks of him and the people that follow him. But it's cut short, when Voldemort orders them all to be silent, and suddenly his shouts stop.

He doesn't know how to feel when Voldemort orders Harry to be set to the ground, declaring that he was nothing more than a boy that relied on other people's scarifies. He can't seem to help but join in with the shouts once more as they start up, only to be silenced once again.

However, he knows what he feels when Neville rushes towards Voldemort, trying to get to him without a wand in his feels proud. Neville was never the bravest of people; some people question his sorting in Gryffindor, and yet here he was, openly trying to attack Voldemort wandless, just to protect his dead friend.

Dean also know that he feels anger when Bellatrix and Meg mock Neville, trying to please their master, and he feels disgust when Voldemort offers Neville a place amongst the Death Eaters, for being brave and a Pure-Blood, because of course, that's all that they care about. Someone's blood. They don't care that the best of people can be found in the muddiest of waters. He feels ready to kill someone when Voldemort summons the Sorting Hat after Neville rejects his offer, before he casts an immobilising charm on Neville. When he puts the Hat on Neville's head, and sets it aflame, Dean feels like he's ready implode, just to put an end to everything.

But then the Giants start fighting, and the Centaurs appear from the entrance, having come from the Forbidden Forest, despite the fact they had declared they would not fight for either side. Their arrows shoot through the skies, raining over the Death Eaters, who are so shocked from the onslaught that they stop listening to Voldemort, when he orders them to remain in position.

And when he sees Harry rise from the ground, his wand drawn as he starts a duel with Voldemort; when he sees Neville take the Sword of Gryffindor from the Sorting Hat, and then behead Nagini, he starts to feel his faith and hope grow again. Maybe the war wasn't lost after all, maybe they still had a fighting chance. Maybe they had lost the battle, but won the war.

He had wanted to fight, but when he turns and sees Harry duelling with Voldemort, and Molly Weasley duelling with Bellatrix, he realises that he doesn't need to fight unless someone tries to hex him. These two fights… they're the ones that are going to decide the future, not some little skirmish with a random Death Eater. It's down to Harry and Molly to kill Voldemort and his right-hand.

Dean's eyes scan the room, and when he finds Sam, he can't help but feel a smile tug at his lips, despite the situation. His brother's hand is entwined with Jess', and they're busy watching the two duels as well, but like usual, Sam just seems to know that his brother is looking at him, and when they're eyes meet, they both hold the same thought: "maybe we're going to see another day after all".

~oOoOoOoOoOo~

Something tugs at Dean's heartstrings when he sees Sam standing beside Jess, hand wrapped tightly around hers, as he tries to be strong and fight back the tears that are obviously trying to break free.

It's times like this he wonders why he let someone like Cas go; he can see how good it must feel, to have someone there that loves you, that wants to support you; someone who will hold your hand, and wipe away the tears and hold them; someone that's just there, a constant rock; a guardian angel.

Dean's green eyes move away from Sam and Jess, and instead land on Bobby, even though that doesn't make him feel any better. There's something odd about seeing Bobby in a black suit, with his beard trimmed, his hair combed back and not hidden under his cap. He wishes he didn't have to see Bobby like that for the first time in this situation.

When Bobby reaches up to wipe away tears, Dean turns his head away from him then, turning instead to the gravestone that they're standing around, as two coffins are lowered into the ground in front of them.

Ellen Harvelle: 2nd November, 1968 - 2nd May 1998.
Beloved wife of Robert Singer and loving mother of:
Joanna Beth Harvelle: 7th April 1979 - 2nd May 1998.
Rest in peace: gone but never forgotten.

There's a lump in his throat as he reads the headstone. How did he manage to lose them both? How did that bitch Meg manage to take both of them; how did she manage to take the entire Harvelle family? How was she just locked in Azkaban and not cut up into tiny pieces, with each piece stuck on a spike somewhere?

He doesn't know. He doesn't find it fair. He doesn't find it fair that the war was finally over; that Voldemort and Bellatrix were finally dead, thanks to Harry and Molly, and neither Jo or Ellen were around to see it; were around to celebrate it. They had no chance to live in a world where they didn't have to worry about being killed for being "blood-traitors". They didn't get a chance to live in a world without the constant threat of Lord Voldemort hanging over them.

How is that fair?

It's not. It most definitely is not fair.

But today is already hard enough for everyone as it is, he doesn't need to make it worse by getting into a big rant about life being fair, or that they all deserved better. He has no doubt that everyone already has thought about that; about how unfair everything is. They didn't really need Dean to voice it.

So maybe that's why he shoves his hands into his pocketsand stays silent, not speaking until he has to bow his head and say "amen" to the silent prayer, hoping his mother was right when she said that angels were watching over him, because right now, he needs one. He has no-one other than Sammy and Bobby now, and soon, Sam is going to leave with Jess, and Bobby is going to want to grieve, and Dean will be left with no-one.

And once again, his mind starts to think about how much better he'd be able to cope with things if Cas were here with him. He can remember how good it felt to finally talk about his mother's death to someone. Can remember how warm Cas' hand was in his grasp, how soothing the feeling of having his hand in his was. He can remember how peaceful he felt whenever he was in Cas' presence, and he has no doubt in his mind that if Cas were here, he would be able to deal with this better.

But Cas isn't here. Of course not, because Dean is a fucking idiot and doesn't deserve happily-ever-afters. Those are reserved for people like Sam; who are good to the core.

He's not sure what happens after the coffins are finally lowered into the ground, as everything seems to blur together, and it isn't until he's back at Bobby's having dropped Jess off at her house, that he realises that he's home; that he's sitting on his bed and that things are different. That there's no sound of Jo and Ash arguing in the next room, that there's no smell of pie being baked by Ellen, because they were all dead and gone.

Everything that once made this mould-infested house a home was gone. It was planted in the ground now.

And it wasn't ever going to come back.

But then he realises that he still has Sam. Sure, the little nerd is going back to Hogwarts in September, and he's going to get together with Jess and they'll get married, but until then, he still has Sam.

And it's that thought that makes him leave his bedroom and walk to Sam's, taking off the cufflinks of his shirt as he does so, and rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. He knocks twice before he enters, and when he does, he sees Sam sitting on the edge of his bed, head in his hand.

'Sammy?'

'I still can't believe it.' Sam states in reply, and Dean bites his lower lip, before he steps fully into the room and sits down beside him.

'I know. But hey, at least you've got Jess. She'll help you through this, more than Bobby or I ever could. Be thankful that you've still got her after all that's happened; other people aren't so lucky.'

'Like you and Cas, you mean?' Sam replies, lifting his head from his hands, and when he notices his brother's surprised expression, he gives a wry smile. 'I'm not blind, Dean. I saw the way you were together, and I saw the way you two just fell apart for no reason at all. I'm here if you want to talk about it, y'know. You always look like you do.'

'I do… I talked about it with Jo, actually,' Dean finally admits after clearing his throat once or three times, deciding that hiding it from his brother wouldn't be of much use. He needs to get this out on the open. If Jo didn't judge him, then there is no way in hell that Sam is going to do it; if anything, he's going to pissed for the same reason Jo was, for running away and leaving Cas like that.

'What happened between you two, Dean? You were both so happy together; you would've been perfect as something more.'

'I kissed him, Sammy,' Dean says instead of protesting to the fact that they would be "perfect" together. That'd be a bit of a push. They may have worked well together, sure, and it's not like Dean didn't think that himself, but perfect? No. No-one and no relationship was perfect. There would be problems that would come up sometimes, sure, but they'd be strong enough to work through it. He also believed in that.

He tells Sam the exact same thing he told Jo; how he enjoyed it (though, maybe he edits out how much he enjoyed and wanted it, for the sake of his brother's embarrassment and sanity, because he's sure that's an image he doesn't want in his mind), how, when he realised who he was kissing, he freaked out because he couldn't stand the thought of losing his best friend, how he realised how stupid that idea was because he ended up losing Cas anyway.

When he's finished, he can't believe he just told all of that to his brother, but he's even more surprised when Sam doesn't react as surprised as Jo did. He merely nods his head and shrugs his shoulders, almost as if having an internal conversation with himself, and Dean can't help the frown that appears on his face.

'That's it?'

'What d'you mean?' Sam asks, confused.

'I just told you I kissed Castiel, and you just nod your head and shrug?' Dean explains, his voice sounding even more confused than he feels, but he can't help it. How was that an appropriate reaction? Shouldn't he be flipping out in some way, whether a negative or positive reaction, shouldn't it at least be bigger?

Instead, Sam just shrugs again, 'I thought it was something like that, to be honest.'

Before Dean can properly react to that, before he can start ranting and raving at the fact Sam just shrugged again, and apparently thought that Dean kissing Cas was the first conclusion, there's a rasping at the window, and both of their heads turn to see an owl perched on the windowsill of Sam's room.

Sam stands then, noticing that his brother is apparently in too much shock from his reaction to his story to move, and walks over to the let the bird in. As soon as he can, he unties the letter from the birds leg, giving its feathers a smooth down, before feeding it a small treat.

The owl hoots happily before it turns and flies out the window, and when Sam turns back to Dean, he extends the letter to him.

'It's for you. It's from the Ministry.'

Dean frowns, taking the letter from his brother's grasp, and when he sees his name and address on it, before turning it over and seeing the Ministry's seal, his frown deepens.

He opens the envelope with shaky fingers, wondering if this will finally be the letter that will informhim that they found Cas' dead body.

Instead, the fear that he felt the second he saw the seal evaporates as he reads the cursive writing. His frown is replaced with a smile, which widens as his eyes trail down the page, and by the time he reaches the end, he's grinning from ear to ear, momentarily forgetting what today had started off with.

'What? What is it?' Sam demands, and the second Dean's eyes meet his, Dean lets out a breathless laugh, as if he can't believe that contents of the letter. 'Dean! Tell me goddammit!'

'Y'know how Harry has been made the Head of the Auror Office?' Dean starts, and when Sam nods, he gives another chuckle, extending his arm and the letter out to his little brother, who takes it straight away, his hazel eyes flitting over the lines as fast as he can. 'Well apparently he put in a word for me, and the things I did at the Battle of Hogwarts.'

'Oh my God.'

'I know.'

'Dean, this is… you've… you're…' Sam trails off, as he finally finishes reading the letter, and his eyes shoot up to his brother once more, unable to help the smile that is also tugging at his lips.

'I know!' Dean exclaims, standing from the bed and snatching the letter back out of Sam's hand, reading it over again just to make sure that he got it right; that there's not a mistake or a misprint, or anything that will dash his excitement.

However, nothing changes; everything is exactly as it was when he first read it, which can only mean one thing.

'I've been accepted for Auror training, Sammy!'

only the epilogue to go after this!

please review!

~Charlotte.x