All we need is some ice cream and a hug!

-Bowling for Soup, Shut Up and Smile

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the awesomeness that is Fullmetal Alchemist.

Normal POV

Hohenheim and Ed were standing in Edward's office. The room was a circle, which Ed found ironic and annoying, and it was utterly empty, from lack of use. All that stood was an old bookshelf, piled with completely useless alchemy books, a desk, three chairs (one behind, two in front for in trouble children) and a worn down red rug.

"The reason I'm letting you talk to me right now is because Mustang and I have a problem. We don't really know all that much about the wizarding world. We know where all of Voldemort's horcruxes are we just don't know where the location is. I was wondering if you could help us."

Hohenheim, who was standing by the door in case Ed wanted to kill him, was surprised at the request. He and expected yelling, but he was grateful they could talk normally to each other. Even if only for the time being.

He walked closer to the desk in the center of the room. "Of course I'll help."

Ed's eyes fired with anger, but only for a moment.

"First we need to know where the Lestrange's vault is. The cup of Hufflepuff should be there."

"Well, it's in Gringgots the Wizard's bank. I'm not really sure the exact location and this bank is nearly impossible to break into." He stated seriously.

"I figured that would be the case, then I guess for now we should focus on the easier ones, like Slytherein's ring in Dumbledore's desk drawer, or the Lost Diadem in the room of requirement."

"Well, the first one would be simple enough but I don't know where the room of requirement is. I'm pretty sure if we wait long enough we'll start to hear things though."

"The last ones are Voldemort's snake, and Harry Potter."

"We should let the last one be, until we figure out how to deal with it." Hohenheim said quietly.

"Agreed," Ed nodded. "Now let's go and get Roy." They were about to leave but before they could Mustang and McGonagall burst into the room. "We need you to come with us to Professor Dumbledore's office. It's urgent." Mustang said. Wordlessly, Ed and Hohenheim followed.

When they got to the office it was filled with teachers and order members. Molly looked terrified, but she had her husband comforting her. Dumbledore looked worried, as well as Remus. As soon as Dumbledore saw the last four walk into his office he cleared his voice. "We are ready to start, as we have it, we have a breach in security. Four people going by Lust, Greed, Envy, and Gluttony broke into order headquarters. Lust seemed to have extendable claws for fingers, Gluttony seem keen on eating people, Envy could shape shift and Greed could turn his body into an impenetrable shield. Spells didn't seem to affect them, only bounce off. This presents a problem. Does anyone know anything about these people?"

Ed POV

Four beings? Four beings crossed the Gate. Spells didn't affect them? And Dumbledore didn't know anything about them? This could be them.

"Oh, yes and they were looking for Edward Elric."

My heart momentarily stopped beating. Everyone turned to stare at me. "I think they're from my side of the Gate."

"They are. They are homunculi. Their cores are Philosopher's Stones. You have to kill them until they are dead. I'm sorry I can't really tell you much more about them." Hohenheim spoke up. Then he added quietly in Amestrian, "They want you because you opened the Gate of Truth. They need that kind of power."

I turned to stare at him. How would he know? Unless he had something to do with them, but no, that can't be right. Ug, I don't know.

"All right, we'll have a more formal meeting. For now you can all go back to doing your jobs. Except for you three." (1) He pointed to Mustang, Hohenheim and me.

While everyone filed out we walked closer to him.

"You three need to keep a careful eye out. Please be careful, report anything you hear to me so I can keep an eye out." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.

"Actually Sir, I have something I would like to ask you. Is the ring of Slytherin in your desk drawer?" I asked innocently. My goal was to gauge his reaction.

His gave no reaction as he replied, "Well no, why would you ask that question?"

"Thank you Sir, no reason."

He nodded and dismissed us. As we walked out Mustang started talking first. "So now we know he's lying to us. The question is how much information he's withholding."

"Yeah," I coughed, "and now we need to," I coughed again, "confront him-" I coughed, but this time I couldn't stop it. I couldn't get enough air to my lungs and I fell to the ground. On my hands and knees I knew what was about to happen. The red liquid was coming up; I saw it on the ground in front of me.

Then I felt hands on my back. They lifted me as my vision began to get spotty. Then I could hear a girly voice. Then two deeper voices arguing, then I felt like the person caring me started running. With another gasp for air I fell into darkness.

Roy POV

Ed started to cough. I immediately knew what was happening. In seconds I was on the ground next to him. When he started coughing up blood I knew I had to get him to the nurse, fast. I lifted him into my arms.

"Why hello," it was that women!

Hohenheim nodded to me and I started to the hospital wing.

"Now wait just a moment." The pink women looked like she had gotten her feathers ruffled.

"Yes?" I asked impatiently. She was about to say something but I cut her off; "If you have something to say to me say it latter. Right now Hohenheim will have to be good enough." With that I took off down the hallway.

I could hear him trying to stall her, and then their voices got fainter until I was out of reach.

Poppy immediately grabbed Ed from me and set him on a bed. I sat down on one as well knowing he was in the best possible hands at the moment.

After some quick wandwork and some potions, Ed was awake.

Ed POV

I woke up back in the hospital. How many nights had I spent there? All accept one I think. I slowly opened my eyes as they adjusted to the lighting. "Ed, are you with me?"

"Yeah," I croaked. I could feel emotion welling up inside me as he tried to keep the worry out of his voice.

"Just do it. Yell at me. I know you want to and I deserve it."

"What are you talking about Ed?"

"Damn it stop doing that. I know you want to scream your head off at me. I'm a horrible person. I shouldn't exist. It's wrong. Every time I think something good happens I get to take a step forward. Afterward something bad always happens and I take three steps back. Every time I finished an assignment correctly I felt like I had done some good. Like Liore and that mining town. But you always had something else for me to fail at. The red water, Scar, the freezing alchemist, Nina, Shou Tucker. Don't you get it? Why bother with me?"

"You know it's sad that you feel like this. You question why anyone should give a damn about you. You don't understand that we do it because we are your friends and loved ones. We care because you care about us. You don't always have to be so strong. It's okay to hurt. You don't have to do this by yourself."

"Roy, it's homunculi. They came after me. They want me because I preformed the taboo. Hohenheim said so. I do have to do this alone. I can't let anyone else get killed."

"Hem-hem." A girly voice interrupted.

Roy stood up. "Hello Dolores." He smiled half heartedly.

"I am here to inquire on the condition of Mr. Elric." She said in a false sweet voice.

"I'm no doctor. You would have to ask Madam Pomfrey."

"Well, I'm going to cast the spell again along with a few others this time all right? It's obvious that my spell last time didn't do enough. Also, this is partly your fault for leaving right away." She walked to my bedside.

"Okay," my voice was weak.

"What does he have?" Umbridge asked.

"A better question is what doesn't he have." She told her gravely.

"Well?"

"His internals are missing, including his stomach." The pink woman gasped "How exactly?" she tried to maintain her sweetness. "We are still trying to find out. Now if you'll excuse me." She turned to face me, "I'm going to use these spells to close the gaps in between the organs you have left. We can't put you to sleep because your heart slows down and the blood wouldn't flow properly. All right?" I nodded.

"One, two, three."

A searing pain shot through me. I tried not to show weakness in front of that woman but it didn't work. I yelled in pain. Sweat was beaded down my face. The burning sensation faded away slowly but eventually my breathing returned to normal. "Do you want to rest now and continue later or continuously at regular intervals?"

"Try and make the space in between as little as possible. I'll take it all at once." My voice was horse.

She nodded and waved her wand again. Once again the burning sensation shot through me, and continued for an hour or more before it started to fade. Umbridge had left by then and several students had come in during that time. I had lost all qualms for being strong and had yelled when the fire reached its peak. Mustang gripped my flesh hand and kept muttering, "It will be over soon." I really couldn't tell if he was trying to assure me or himself, but it helped me knowing he was there.

The students had sat down on a bed to wait for Madam Pomfrey to be done with me. They watched in horror from the farthest bed away from mine.

"All right, what are your three's problem?" She asked. Sweat was also on her face from the multiple spells she'd cast.

"Well I have a headache and a stomachache." The first girl said. No I have a stomachache.

"All right wait here." She went to her cupboard and pulled out a bottle of potion. He poured some into the glass and gave it to the girl. "Drink this and you can leave."

With that she turned to Mustang. "He needs to rest, you can either come back later or I can make you come back later."

He sighed in defeat. Wow I mused. She's got the same 'do it or I'll put a bullet through your head' look as Hawkeye. "I'll leave." He got up and started to leave but stopped halfway to the door. "I'll be back after I teach the rest of my classes and go to bed. All right?"

"Sure," I tried to smile. He sighed and left. Seconds later I left my world of pain and slept.

Normal POV

"Great, I have classes to teach and Ed is back in the hospital wing. My day is going fantastic." Mustang grumbled.

"Mustang, I was wondering what happened to Elric." Snape strode down the hallway. "His father won't tell me." He growled.

"We can't talk about here. If you really want to know go to the hospital wing and ask Madam Pomfrey. I will not tell anything that you don't need to know." With that Roy continued walking ignoring the potion master's shocked expression. He was not used to being left in the dark.

"All right. What was Ed teaching you guys?"

It was Hermione who spoke up. "We were supposed to figure out the meaning of one is all and all is one. Those who did were supposed to wear work out gear. Those who didn't were supposed to tell him or be kicked out."

"Right, well who figured it out?" Those wearing sweats raised their hands. "Who thinks they have an answer?" Everyone else raised their hands. "Great. I will call you in one by one. If you got it right you get to stay. If you were wrong you get to leave and not come back."

By the end of the class everyone had figured it out except most of the Slytherins.

"Great. Professor Elric will probably be here next week. Class dismissed."

Of course the Golden trio wanted to know what was going on.

"Step into his office." When they were all inside and the door was sealed Hermione blurted out, "What happened? Did the spell fail? Did he have another episode?" Mustang raised his eyebrows. "Yes."

"Is he in pain again?" she didn't yell this time.

"He won't be for very long. He's getting better. She cast more spells this time. He will be okay." He sounded like he was reassuring himself.

"Okay, well we'll go now." Ron said nervously.

The trio left the room. "All right, this situation is so creepy." Ron yawned.

"How are you tired?" questioned Hermione? Ron shrugged. "Well we should really get to our next classes." She said slightly annoyed.

The trio walked to dinner that night and found a sign on the wall. 'Dolores Jane Umbridge is appointed Hogwarts high inquisitor.'

"What does it mean?" asked Ron.

"It means the ministry is interfering at Hogwarts." Hermione said plainly.

Ed POV

I awoke to a sneering greasy haired man talking to Poppy.

"What happened to Mr. Elric?" I decided to make it known that I was awake. The pain was almost completely gone but heat still whirled through. Only muted. "I don't have insides." I said loudly.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well I lost my arm, leg, and internal organs. Does that answer your question?"

"You don't have internals!" Whatever he had been expecting it obviously wasn't that.

"Yeah." I shrugged. Bad idea, pain shot through my stomach. I tried to hide it but grimaced. What the heck, I can't even make small movements without pain?

Snape raised his eyebrows. Madam Pomfrey quietly asked, "Does it still hurt?"

"Yeah," I breathed.

"You were out for two days. I'm sorry I can't do much more. I've already tried anything that wouldn't affect the healing process but it obviously isn't enough."

"No, no I'm fine." I said too quickly.

"Go back to sleep Elric." It was teacher's so it or I'll beat you bloody voice.

"Yes Ma'am." With that I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

"All right. I've been here for another week. I want to leave!" I was annoyed. That stupid witch didn't understand I was fine.

"I won't be able to make you stay will I?"

I shook my head. "Fine but you better not overexert yourself."

"I won't." I jumped out of the hospital bed and got dressed. Good lord how many times have I done that?

"All right, see you tomorrow."

"If you make it that long." Madam Pomfrey muttered.

"Gluttony are we there yet?" Greed asked. "It's so boring in this world. The people keep flashing out of places and we can't find them. I've decided I hate this world."

"Humans have always been terrible creatures." Lust agreed.

"Well I like it, give the people here some edge." Envy laughed.

"I can smell him!" Gluttony announced.

"He's in the woods? Why the hell would he be in the woods?" Greed asked. They were surrounded by towering trees. Mist took on a live affect and would scare most people.

"Well I guess we'll just have to keep walking." Envy sneered.

"Couldn't you make yourself useful and turn into a slug or something?" Greed asked.

"Why a slug? Wouldn't that slow us down?" asked Lust.

"No, we wouldn't wait for him. We could have a nice pleasant stroll through the woods. Gluttony can stay here too. Then you and me can have some alone time." Greed smiled seductively.

"Don't make me kill you." Lust said.

"I don't mind when it's by you."

"Then I'll have Gluttony eat you and you can live your hundreds of lives in his stomach."

Greed shivered, "Harsh."

Envy laughed, "All right, where to Gluttony?"

I am sitting typing this, while wearing a Kaoru Hiitachin wig that I got about 1 hour ago. So obsessed. It's probably unhealthy… Oh well who cares? Certainly not me!