Chapter 19
"Now what was it that was eating you when you got back from school the other day and don't you dare think about saying nothing?"
Lucius smiled. There were times when he thought that Jane sounded more and more like Eliza as she got older. The elder women too had spent her whole life it seemed in the service of his family.
Standing outside his sons room, he knew he should not really listen in on the conversation which Draco and Jane were about to have. The chances were that if he was going to confide in anyone, it was going to be her if he did not come to him. Bur his feet were stuck to the ground.
"Does it sound really over dramatic if I say it was just all get a bit much at school?" Draco asked.
Looking over at Jane from his desk, to where she sat on his bed he was relieved to see her shake her head.
"Well, I don't think so. You have got the tournament at school and then you have got all this stuff with your father going on. It must take some getting used to."
Draco nodded. "it was bad enough in second year when dad couldn't actually stand the sight of me without us having to act as if that was the case now."
Jane shook her head. "Now you are being over dramatic. There has never been a day in your life when your father as you put it could not stand the sight of you."
He nodded – but he did not know if that was the truth. That was the way it had felt when he had been small.
His silence was so loud at that moment that she moved to hold on to him tight to him once more. "If I did then, I did not meant to belittle the way you feel. It is just we both know how great the love your father has for you is."
As their eyes met he nodded. "It is getting all moving fast now, isn't it?" she nodded.
"You are telling me. I am the one who is playing Healer."
He gave her a grin.
"You are the only one out of the two of us who is going to get an Easter break you know. My lessons go on regardless."
"Is that when you are not being hostess?" Jane gave him a look which told him not to play with her but she did get a feeling it was too much of a good opportunity to pass up.
She sighed. "It is going to be awful if I do not do justice to you and to your father."
He did not think he had ever heard of anything that was less likely to happen. In all the years they had been together that had been the one thing she had not done so much as once.
"You know dad and I have a lot of faith in you. You'll be fine."
"And so will you be." Jane sighed as she got up from where she had been crouching.
"Have you got homework to do?"
He nodded. "I am just trying to get my charms done now."
"Well, then I am going to leave you too it, my darling," said Jane as she made for the door. He nodded.
Jane turned. And banged straight in to Lucius.
"Sorry," the two of them said at the same time.
"I was just coming to find you. Numbers for Saturday confirmed – we are going to be a party of fifty."
Jane nodded. To be honest, that was forty eight more than she wanted there to be but there was not a hell of a lot she could do about that.
"Right then I am going to go and put the finishing touches on the seating plan." She said with a smile.
And off she went.
Through the door way, Lucius and Draco shared a smile before the elder of the two of them walked off to his own chambers with the corners of his lips still gently turned upwards.
Jane and Lucius had decided if green and silver was a rather obvious choice of colours to do the dining room out in that night, then they were going to use them all the same.
After all, they were safe. And the end result was very striking.
The silver which decorated the room was mainly in the details - the stitch on the seat covers as well as threw sashes which draped down off the tables. The silver effect was also helped by the way that the chandeliers hung, being illuminated by the soft light.
The heavy table cloth which was on the table was of a very deep green and it made Jane a little nostalgic for her own Hogwarts days. Presently it was her hope that the Ravenclaws were going to get a chance to win the house cup at least once in the next four years. But for all the darkness which was associated with her own house, she could not help but be proud to be a Slytherin.
Looking up to the northern end of the room, she remembered that in spite of her protests, Lucius had hired a band for after dinner and she had an awful feeling that he was going to make her dance by the end of the night.
"You and dad have done an amazing job in her," Draco said as he came into a room he had been in and out of all of his life only to find his jaw dropped.
"Do you think?" Jane asked as she looked around and in her heart she he spoke nothing but the truth, it did. Now all she and Lucius had to do was give a convincing performance and do the setting justice.
"It almost makes me wish I could be down here with you when it was all going on."
"I do not think there is anything in the world which would make me wish you could sit at this table tonight," He knew it scared her inviting the wolves into the fold. But...
Grasping her hand he sighed. His task for the night was to go to his room and stay there, but even though she was doubting herself, he had a lot of faith in her and no matter what she said, he was saddened that he had a feeling he was going to miss her moment of glory.
XXX
Lucius looked at himself in the mirror and tried to remember when he had last made such a great effort for any social occasion. He guessed he must have when he had had the wedding to Maria but he had had so little enthusiasm he supposed he might not have.
He did not like to remember that time.
He could only hope he was not going to feel the same later on when he looked back on that night.
As he had been the one to suggest to Jane she might want to get a new dress for the occasion, he had hardly been able to say no when she had insisted that he too might want to get a new pair of dress robes for the evening as well.
He had noted that as ever while the fashion for women had moved on fast (he did not think Cissy would recognise to many of the styles these days), very little had changed for men.
For them, things went round on a cycle.
And so he was in a black robe with silver thread on the edge of it. He had brushed his hair to within an inch of his life and tied it in a bow.
He looked nothing if not respectable.
'You are fit for a prince in disguise,' was what his wife had said to him one night when the two of them had been getting ready to go out.
It was as true then as it had ever been.
XXX
This night had been a very long time coming.
Jane took in her appearance in the mirror and she could not say she looked very like herself.
The long lilac evening gown she was in though suited her a hell of a better than the pink one had though.
Her hair for once was not in its normal pony tail or scruffy bun but elegantly tied up, finished off with nothing less than a delicate flower.
Taking a deep breath, as she left the room, she felt as if she was stepping into another's person's life. She took another's steadying breathe as she came to the top of the grand stair case.
She walked tall as she came down it, forced to by the weight of the gown. Severus stood at the bottom with Lucius. The two of them had been discussing something casually –and then the two of them saw her. It was not only Lucius who looked at her as if he had never seen her before.
She guessed the two of them had seen her as a very good friend to them - but not wholly as just a woman before. And she knew that was what Lucius saw when he looked at her.
"So how do I look?" she asked as she got to the bottom of the stairs.
Lucius gave her the only answer
he had for her.
"Like a lady."
Severus thought it was well done and that the two of them looked like a real couple as Lucius took her hand. He was not sure it that was a good thing or not.
It was going to be a night to remember though and that was for sure. He walked into the parlour behind them where there guests were waiting for them.
XXX
"Jane! It is so good to see you," Mrs Cynthia Goyle exclaimed as she saw her old school friend.
The two them had never been close but the two of them had always stopped in the corridor to say hi and had sat together in the library together when they had been struggling with home work.
"I am so glad you and your husband could make it," Jane told her as the two of them kissed one another on the cheek. It was pretentious and stupid but it was the way things were done.
"When I heard you were going to be Lucius hostess I knew I was not going to miss it for the world."
"Oh now do you think it is going to be that much of a show?" teased Jane.
"Not at all my darling."
The two of them laughed together as they held on to one another's hands.
"How is young Gregory doing?"
Cynthia sighed and for a moment looked quite perplexed. "Not as well as his father wants him to be doing in his lessons but you know how boys are. He is going to be ok in the end... he just needs to apply himself. Oh god, I am so very sorry – this is quite inconsiderate of me considering the trouble I know Lucius and you have had with..."
Jane kept her cool on the outside but inside she wanted to scream if the truth was known. Was she so ashamed of the boy she had raised she could not bear to hear his name in public? Apparently. The two of them had so rarely had any trouble with their boy of his own making.
It might only be pretend but she was no liar. It was her house colours which were really going to get her through the night.
She was a Slytherin and even if she was a mild one, she did have ambition and her ambition was to see her family safe at the end of the war. She did not think of a stronger ambition for anyone.
"It has been very hard," she dropped her voice as she confided in her.
She could do this.
"It has been hard for Lucius especially. We have him home this Easter only to see if we can get thought to him at last, if he will see sense. Lucius has such high hopes for him," Jane sipped her drink.
"You poor thing. Gregory is lacking in his studies but he has at least followed in his father's footsteps in his beliefs, thank god. It must be very hard to have it the other way round."
No, it is nigh on the easiest thing in the world and I am so glad that my sweet boy really does have the courage to make his own choices.
"You cannot even imagine," Jane sighed.
"Still at least you do have some compensation."
Cynthia eyes went to Lucius and she had a smile on her face as she turned back to Jane.
"Mr. Malfoy has been very good to me over the years," Jane told her demurely as her eyes feel to the ground.
"I am sure he has."
Jane felt a presence at his side.
"I hope the two of you do not mind me interrupting."
Jane did not think she had ever been so glad to see Severus. "Not at all."
Cynthia took the hint soon enough and was on her way to mingle but not before Cynthia took Jane's hand in her own. "You look lovely by the way."
"Both Cynthia and Lucius are right you know," Severus said to Jane as he gave her his arm, once the other women had walked away. "You are a lady tonight and you look like one."
"Of course I am," she said as her voice dropped. "Tonight is all about the look of the thing. I can be a lady for one night can't I?"
"Of course but I must say, if tonight is about appearances, you did not appear comfortable with Cynthia."
"She spoke on subjects which don't concern her. She knows nothing of what goes on here," Jane told him.
"Remarks of the sort you are referring to can't come unexpected," Severus told her.
For a moment she tried to deny it. But then she shook her head.
She had known what it was going to look like, both of them had. But – neither of them had even brought it up.
"No, they are not. Would it be so bad? I could do a hell of a lot worse."
"It is the wrong reason."
Scanning the room she soon followed with her eyes Lucius. He did not look a bit like the man who had given Draco the diary to her.
Nor did he seem to be the bigot she knew he had once been. But he did look an awful lot like a man who was trying his very best to put his past right.
God, it should be enough to make the heart of any women melt.
Jane just felt confused though.
"Maybe deep down I feel it for the right reasons."
"And which one of us are trying to convince?"
But it was at that moment that Lucius came to the two of them.
"It is high time we were leading the guests into the dining room, Jane."
"Let's go then."
Taking his hand she smiled. Just as she did, Lucius knew what impression he was giving off and he was fine with it.
Giving Severus a smile which Jane hoped told him she knew what she was doing.
"Are you having a good time?" he asked as he waited for her to sit before he took his place beside her. Oh, yes he knew what her was going.
"I am. It is nice to have the old guard here once more."
He nodded as he took up his goblet and took a drink. Who knew it was so very easy to make water have the appearance of wine?
Mrs Nott was at Lucius' side. She turned to find Crabbe Sr was at her side. There had not been any way round it in the end. He was the most senior Death Eater presence aside Lucius himself. That would change if those in Azkaban got out.
At least, she had been able to put Severus across from her.
It was soon time for the starters. But before they ate, there had to be a toast. Jane was very glad that was a responsibility which fell to Lucius alone.
He stood up and all eyes fell on him. Up until that moment she had been yet to understand just how much they were being tested.
"I am going to keep it short tonight, as I am sure you are all as hungry as I am. I just wanted to thank you all for coming tonight. It has been to long since we have been surrounded by friends here. I want to raise a glass to the future. We all know it is going to be a glorious year, not only for us, but for our families," he paused, looking down on Jane who sat demurely by his side for just a moment. "To a future world – where our lord returns."
It felt odd to say the words but they did not make him feel as ill as he had thought they were going too. It was just as if he had stepped into the past. He was with his friends and he had a woman on his arm.
Sitting down he turned to Jane. "It was well done," she said with a sweet smile on her face.
"Thank you sweetheart." He said as he once more raised his goblet. "To the women who made this possible."
It was only those around them who heard and saw but it made Jane bite her lip.
She had been thinking on it over the night; of course it made sense for the two of them to let people think they were - cohabiting.
To live as they did and not to be a couple would see life in an unnatural way.
If they were being sensible to live in a way the rest of the party approved of would be the right thing to do. It was not till the two of them danced she had a chance to talk to him properly, the music giving them privacy.
With a wave of a wand the table was to one side and the dining room was then a ball room once more.
Nearly every one rose to met the music but it was Jane and Lucius alone who had to dance the first dance.
"I think perhaps it is a little too soon to count our hippogriffs but I think the two of us have done very well," Jane said as the two of them took up hold.
"I am inclined to agree with you on that one."
"Just one thing though."
"And what is that, my dear?"
"The next time the two of us have to pretend to be a couple can I please have a bit of warning?" Jane questioned with a raised eye brow.
"You knew as soon as I ask you to be hostess."
She smiled. "Do you not recall that conversation before Christmas?"
"I know – but then I guess the two of us should have revisited that conversation when you came to my office to tell me all about the reservations you had over tonight – oh yes... but you didn't."
She laughed reluctantly as he spun her about. She knew he was right.
"Jane," Lucius said in a low voice. "How much are you pretending?"
His question startled her a little and her neck snapped up to face him.
"I do not know any more."
XXX
Severus watched as Jane and Lucius danced in the middle of the floor. He, just liked the two of them, had the feeling the two of them had very successfully put the Malfoy manor back on track.
And the two of them were very convincing as a couple.
Jane was so sure when the two of them spoken about her and Lucius previously but it did not need much experience to see she was weakening.
A forgiven young women and a man trying to turn his life around... the two of them lived together alone... maybe it was inevitable.
"Are you going to dance?" a young witch said from his side. He was normally very good with names but hers escaped him. The one thing he did know though was that brunettes had never been his type.
"I might but I am not going to do so with you," he sneered. "Can I cut in?" he asked as he got to the dance floor and tapped on Lucius shoulders'.
His gracious host nodded. "Watch your toes," Lucius smirked as he left the two of them to it.
Jane gave him a shy smile as he took her in his arms.
"He is going to nursing bruises for weeks – as are you if you are not careful."
Severus grimaced.
"If I spoke out of turn tonight then I am sorry for it."
Jane was sure at the moment she was feeling what she lived to think of as the Draco effect. In another life, she was sure he would not have said so.
"The truth is there is nothing in the world you have to be sorry for. As ever all you were doing was looking out for Lucius,"
"As well as for you. I do not want to see you do something you might regret in the long run."
"That is just the thing – I do not know if I would regret it. Or if I would regret not at least giving it a try while I could."
'We both know you should not have to try to love.'
It was on the very tip of his tongue. He did not know why he didn't say it. He could put his finger on it.
XXX
Draco had not got any sleep as long as there had been guests in the house. His father had put a charm on his room so only he and Jane could enter, and so that the noise was going to be kept out. Seated by the window, he had watched as some of the most notorious witches and wizards of the day came in and out of his home.
And had got used to the fact that this was the world his mother and his father had inhabited. And he was he had to say very beautiful. But it was vile as well.
And yet...
That night the gowns and the jewels were not about getting the Dark Lord back to power – but, at least for his father, about keeping the world Lucius loved safe.
XXX
The sun shone down on the Malfoy manor the next day and as morning turned to afternoon, Draco found himself with Jane having a tea. The two of them were quite relaxed and the mood was rather different to what it had been the day before.
"You are humming Jane. I think that maybe you had a better time than you thought you were going to." She nodded. The day after the dinner was a rather lazy one for her much to Max's annoyance.
"I did. Your father and I played out roles very well."
She was not going to tell him she had her dark moments there for she saw no point to it.
He did not need to worry over that.
"I am sure." He knew his father would have not had trouble with it he felt as if his father had been playing one role or another for years. So no doubt it had been a little harder for Jane than for Lucius.
His father had been in a good mood when they had had breakfast together. However, they had not discussed the previous night's events in detail. Draco felt that was what he needed to do.
And so once that he had his tea, he went over to his father's office and found him at his desk. He knocked on the open door.
"Come in son."
His father's office was one of Draco's favourite places in the mansion. It was so full of the father which he loved and admired as well as of the family who he was proud of. It went without saying that he did not care how pure or otherwise that bloodline was. But he was proud of the people who it had flowed through.
His father's office had now been used by generations of Malfoy men. It was not a day that he very much liked to dwell on but one day, he knew, it was going to be his office.
And when his own son came home from Hogwarts he was going to visit him in there.
"Are you ok Prince?" asked his dad on seeing he was a little distant.
Draco nodded. "I just wanted to talk to you... about last night. As well as some other stuff."
Lucius nodded, put his quill down and sat back. "So talk."
"What was it like to be back to be with all your old 'friends'?"
"You know it felt as if it was not quite me there. It has been hard trying to get the old brotherhood back knowing it was fake and that I did not really want it back. At the end of the day, all I was doing last night was paying lip service. Why do you ask?"
"I just want to know. It can't have been that easy."
He shrugged. "It is part of the job."
"And are you used to it? The whole, job thing. Spying. "
He nodded. He had been surprise how easily it had come. "I did it for you, for mother, Severus and Jane. That motivation could make getting used to any job easy."
After his second year at Hogwarts, Draco had not thought he was ever going to be able to trust another word his father said.
But he knew he was telling him the truth. He just knew it.
And he guessed he owed it to his dad to give him the truth as well.
"Do you remember the night when I got back from school last year and I wanted to go straight to bed because I wanted to enjoy the rest of the summer?"
Lucius nodded. With everything else that was going on he had almost forgotten about all that.
But he had left it and Draco clearly now felt he could come to him of his own accord.
He had to see that as one for the books.
"I do."
"Did you and Jane believe me that night?"
"Draco, I would be lying to you if I did not say that the two of us did not smell a rat."
"I met Sirius Black in the gardens that night and I have been to meet him again since I have been back at school."
Lucius nodded with a look of sheer contemplation on his face. It was hardly news to him. Looking at his son, he shifted in his chair. "And what did you make of your cousin?"
"I think – I think he is very brave and very loyal. But he is a bit on the crazy side of life."
"I think that is a very good assessment of him."
"He has had it so tough."
"I am not going to argue with you there, son."
His own time in Azkaban was one of the times in his life that he least liked to remember. He just recalled being in that cell crying out for someone to care that he had a baby boy at home who had needed him to go back to him. He had been so cold and he had been grieving at the time as it was.
He could not even remember that period of his life without feeling his blood turn icy.
"I can sympathise with what he went through." After all, Sirius had gone in when he had just found out about the Potters.
"Why didn't you try and help him if you knew he was innocent?" Draco knew the two of them had never got on, but still... yet his father thought the question was not on par with his Ravenclaw standard.
It was a common experience which they had shared and the more than he thought about it, the more Draco released his cousin and his father had quite a bit in common.
"Draco. I know this is going to come as a bit of a shock to you but at the time I did not have a lot of fans within the ministry of magic at the time." Sarcasm had always been his weak spot. "I was far too worried over keeping you and me together. Sirius Black did not even register with me."
Draco nodded. He was able to see that now.
"I know that is not going to sit very well with you but at the time, I was still very much a Death Eater and I was a young widower who had no choice but to work out how to be a good single father in no time at all. And I had just lost uncle Rodolphus as well. He was closer to me than Severus at the time and I felt as if I had lost the only brother I was ever going to have." A heavy silence lay in the room.
"You have never told me any of that – not like that."
"It was one of the worst periods of my life and you are my son. Of course I don't want you knowing about it."
Draco nodded. "I know you are old enough to know - but you don't need to son."
"Dad."
"You did not live through the first war," Lucius insisted. "So I ask you not to burden yourself with it."
Reluctantly, Draco let what his father was saying to him sink in.
"I am not getting cold feet and I am not going to blow this," Draco chose his words carefully.
"But it is getting real now?"
"I did not think I was-" he shook his head. Words weren't enough some times.
"I know."
"Aren't you scared by all of this, dad, not even a little?"
"For you this is all the fear of the unknown," Lucius explained. He was scared. But he would not admit it. Dads didn't get scared.
"It is waiting for it I can't stand any longer."
"Yes – but you are strong enough for it," Lucius said as he got up. Enough. "When was the last time you had a bit of fun son? I'm thinking it was too long ago."
Draco agreed with a nod.
"Did you bring your broom home from school?"
"I did indeed."
"Well then I suggest you go and get it. It has been far too long since I have reminded you that while you have youth on your side, it is experience which makes me the much better flier."
"Oh, you think so."
"I know so."
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