Chapter 10: Seduction: A Memoir by Dean Winchester Part 1 of 2
a/n: Hi I'm back so much faster this time XD Thanks for all of your comments/support for this story. I really love it so I'm glad I can share it with you guys. This chapter has a lot of POV changes, so I hope it doesn't get too confusing. Sam's just a busy little bee, ain't he?
Chapter warnings: language, violence and deathhhh
Sam Winchester sat at the table grinding hawthorn bark with the skull of a beaver into a bowl made of acacia wood. It took some real string pulling and an expensive expedited shipment from ebay, but he gathered all the items relatively quickly. "Ok we have this crap, now what do I do? Burn it or something?"
"Well you need the blood of an angel, actually. . ." Sam shook his head, thinking perhaps he didn't hear correctly.
"The what?"
"Well you need to draw an Enochian sigil in that blood. It's the only way." Sam rolled his eyes. Leave it to Lucifer to leave out the most important detail.
"Dude, you could have told me that sooner!" Lucifer threw up his hands in surrender, sitting across from Sam at the table.
"Well I didn't want you to get all discouraged! Look you're already halfway there. You just need to put your pretty-boy hands together and call down one of my marshmallow brothers and all will be well." Sam rolled his eyes, putting down the beaver skull.
"You honestly think they'll just let me have some of their blood? For some reason I doubt Heaven will be too happy with me performing an Enochian ritual suggested by Satan to find my brothe.r" Sam inquired in disbelief. Lucifer looked thoughtfully before raising a finger excitedly.
"Well think of it this way. . . Maybe they'll just tell you where Dean is? If they do that, maybe you don't even have to do the ritual. Everybody wins!"
"Castiel is hiding my brother and he's from Heaven, what makes you think they're not all suspicious of me?"
"Well you're still alive. Castiel knows where you're at so he would have told them by now. I don't think Castiel is necessarily working with the angels, or you would have been taken care of a long time ago."
"But he's with my brother. Castiel knows what would happen if he let Heaven kill me." Lucifer raised his brow, conceding Sam's point.
"No sex for a week." Sam involuntarily shivered, trying to delete the images. He was only just coming to terms with the fact that his brother was gay and most definitely the one taking it up the ass from an angel of the fucking Lord.
"It's too soon to joke about my brother's big gay sex life, okay? I'm already scarred enough as it is." The devil before him rolled his eyes.
"Anyways, you can always try. If things don't go well, there will probably be a fight and you can easily get yourself some blood. Angels are easily trapped, you know." Sam looked at Lucifer skeptically. Again he thought about his decision to go along with this plan. If he had to spill an angel's blood, perhaps this whole deal was a little more dark than he first thought. What if this whole thing had consequences otherworldly and Sam was just walking into a big trap?
Well, it wasn't like they never killed angels. They were still around so just drawing some blood couldn't do that much harm.
"What do I need to do?"
Dean was going crazy.
True to his word, Castiel was adamantly keeping his hands off the hunter like a good little angel scout. Dean was still kissed at night before they slept and again when he woke up in the morning, but that was the end of it. Castiel didn't even look at him very long anymore. The next few days, Dean was slowly being driven mad. It was like having a pile of cookies and being told not to eat any.
"We're short on supplies. Are we going to make a trip to the town?" Castiel wondered aloud, helping Dean make breakfast. Castiel wouldn't eat any, but the angel actually really liked cooking. Dean thought it was cute as he flipped quesadillas on the stove. He was damn good at it by now. All Dean ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner were quesadillas and pickle juice. Literally.
Castiel actually looked really hot flipping quesadillas. Dean licked his lips, thinking those angelic hands would look better gripping something entirely different.
"Dean?" Cas looked back and Dean jumped, scrambling to retrieve the words that were spoken to him.
"Right. Supplies. Yes." Cas raised a brow curiously at Dean before turning his attention back to the frying pan. It was crazy what a transformation was made with a simple grey wife beater and black boxers—He insisted that Cas wear less clothes around the house since it made him uncomfortable just looking at him. Dean was being made uncomfortable for entirely different reasons now.
He wondered if Castiel knew what he was doing to Dean. He probably did, but the bastard was doing a great job ignoring him. It was cruel. Dean had definitely been warming up to butt-sex as it were. The thought of doing it actually turned him on as he remembered the way Cas was always so passionate about it. He actually really craved being dominated like that now, and putting a dick up his ass was definitely not as scary as it used to be. Cas never hurt him and it felt so damn good. . . It was all Dean could do not to moan as he imagined Castiel bending him over that table right then, pinning him down and stuffing his ass full of cock. . . He was so hot for it lately and Cas just wasn't and It frustrated Dean endlessly because the hunter still had that iron-clad pride that kept him from admitting his attraction to Castiel.
After breakfast, and a decidedly cold shower for Dean, they made their way into town, stopping at the local tech store to search for a suitable laptop. Dean had thought he hadn't needed anything fancy, but he realized quickly that he did since there were so many fun games he could play that required fancier computers.
Dean finally chose, Cas scowling disapprovingly at his expensive choice, and they paid for the system and a few games and left. When they went to the supermarket to get the rest of their supplies, Castiel tugged Dean into another part of the store which had books and magazines.
"Easing morning sickness." Castiel began after flipping through an entire book for about 3 seconds. "The book says that you should never have an empty stomach and to eat easy to digest foods low in acid. We should probably avoid hot sauce on your quesadillas."
"But I love hot sauce!" Dean complained. They didn't taste good without it. Castiel looked at him sternly and shut the book.
"You should also be taking prenatal vitamins. You could start losing bone density from calcium defects." Dean rolled his eyes.
"The problem is they don't make prenatal vitamins for men, Cas. I don't know if you're aware, but men are built a bit differently than women. Also baby angels are different than human babies, I'm sure."
"I am aware, Dean, but we have to do something. I hate seeing you suffer." Dean felt shivers up and down his spine at the look that Castiel was giving him, his eyes so full of concern and fucking love. Dean let out a shaky breath he didn't know he'd been holding and nodded, not even able to speak anymore. He took the book from Cas's hands, too aware of how their fingers brushed by the action, and tucked the book into the cart. He swallowed and steered the cart around, hoping his body would tell him where he was supposed to be going because God knew he couldn't think straight right now.
Castiel was in love with Dean. Dean couldn't even deny it anymore. Every decision Cas made was in favor of Dean's well-being. The angel was also the father of the child growing inside Dean right now. He was only ever concerned with making sure Dean was comfortable and the baby was safe. He was a protector and he did a damn good job of it. Dean bit his lip, suddenly feeling like the luckiest guy in the mid-west. This whole pregnancy, while it was inconvenient, unnatural and officially the weirdest shit ever, was starting to become less and less scary as Dean saw how Castiel handled the whole thing.
Dean had been mortified at first but it was quickly becoming clear that Castiel was going to be there for him no matter what. Dean didn't have to do it alone and that was what made it not so bad. It actually made it kind of okay. Dean was kind of okay with this as long as Castiel remained with him. Dean stole a glance at the angel behind him who seemed preoccupied with looking at everything around them. Probably looking for, you know, things they needed. Dean hoped Cas'd be able to remember it all (who was he kidding, of course Cas could remember it all), because Dean couldn't even remember his shoe size at that moment. All he could imagine was Cas pushing him up against one of the racks and kissing him senseless.
The town was small but it was nicely packed with necessary stores seeing as it was the only town for literally miles. There was a movie theater, an activity center and there was even a dog groomer. Seemed that this place had everything sorted out and Dean commended the people for staying under the McDonald's radar, as the corporation tended to find even the most secluded of towns.
Along the main road, Dean noticed several little diners and various pubs. Small towns always had the best bars. Dean wondered if he could talk Cas into visiting the town again soon and check out the local watering holes with him. God knew they needed some time out. Cas was great, really, but Dean was going just a wee bit stir crazy. He was beginning to crave supply runs because at least then he could interact with other people.
When they got home, Castiel was in the kitchen putting everything away and Dean went to the bedroom to set up the new laptop, not able to wait any longer.
The computer was, Dean decided quickly, awesome with a hint of epic. Games ran smooth like water and, with a tiny bit of Grace thanks to Cas, Dean was hooked up to the town internet service in less than a minute.
The sun was shining brightly outside, making Castiel's beautiful blue eyes shimmer and his skin glow attractively. Dean felt his belly fill with those persistent butterflies again. They had a little time and Dean couldn't think of a better moment to mess around but Cas seemed entirely not into it. Castiel's eyes seemed to avoid looking at Dean at all costs and that left disappointment like a cold brick in the bottom of his stomach. He was frustratingly lacking in his ability to communicate his need with Cas and the moment came and went like an unwanted sun-shower.
After Castiel went back out to the kitchen, hastily declaring that he needed to redraw the wards before dinner, Dean browsed the net, trying to stop thinking of the lackluster exchange. Castiel had told Dean before that he was in love with him. They had sex—Castiel must have liked fucking Dean if the ache he left in Dean's ass every time was any indication of that. Dean squashed down the persistent feeling of rejection in his heart. He knew that Cas said they shouldn't have sex for risk of being discovered, but shouldn't Cas at least look like he wanted to jump Dean's bones? It seemed like it wouldn't be a big deal for the angel at all if they never touched each other again. Dean knew angel's worked differently than humans, but it was still disappointing that he was apparently the only one struggling with this.
It'd been a long while since he'd been online so he was satisfied to just mess around, but it was when he saw a particularly racy advertisement that his forced state of chastity was brought back to the forefront of his mind. Surely Busty Asian Beauties had some new videos for him to check out (he was a subscriber). He browsed the site for the newest vids, picking one that featured Li Zhu Ying and Lau Lau Min.
As he watched the girls get into each other he realized he wasn't getting as turned on as he thought he would. He was only half-hard after a half an hour of this and at this rate he wouldn't finish before dinner was ready. Yeah they were hot, and Lau sure knew some creative ways to use her tongue, but Dean couldn't stop thinking about Castiel and the sudden disappearance of his libido.
Perhaps Dean was still too reluctant? Did Cas think he didn't want it? That was entirely likely. Perhaps Cas was playing it cool because Dean was still reluctant about butt-sex with dudes. That must have been it. Dean never initiated sexual contact if he could help it. Cas usually started it and Dean went along with it, but maybe now he would have to bury his pride and take the first step.
His eye caught a bright colored ad that read "10 ways to seduce your man." Dean snorted disdainfully as his mouse hovered over the link. Well it wasn't like he knew how to seduce a guy. He'd considered himself straight for many years until recently. He was still not used to the whole 'gay' thing. Dean bit his lip, trying to ignore the implied 'Cas is my man' feeling he got when he clicked the link. He was brought to a very pink page that had women doing various things to their boyfriends and Dean was about to click away because he was absolutely not a girl, thank you very much, but the first tip caught his attention.
1. Show him visually you want it. It stated, simply. Men love to know that they're wanted. Kiss him more than usual, tell him you're bored and that you want to do something fun (be suggestive).
Well that seemed pretty legit. It didn't seem too difficult either. He still felt uncomfortable reading a column obviously aimed at women, but he didn't see what the harm would be in giving the first suggestion a try. He shut the laptop and exited the room to see if Castiel needed any help in the kitchen.
Sam was on his knees in front of the rug by the motel bed, feeling completely ridiculous. Lucifer had suggested praying to Israfel, since he was usually one of the most neutral of angels. He was an artisan and one of the many architects of Heaven. He was an older angel and would be most likely to be neutral concerning Sam's issues He bowed his head as he prayed.
"Israfel, hear my prayer. This is Sam Winchester and I need your assistance." There was a displacement of wind and a ruffling of feathers and Sam turned around, not expecting to be answered so quickly. A man in his early thirties was standing before him, his tired blue eyes far-seeing and unnaturally aged. This was definitely the familiar gaze of an angel.
"Samuel Winchester, you prayed to me. I've heard so much about you." His eyes were sad for a moment before he stared hard at the Winchester once again. Chills ran up Sam's back and, for a moment, Sam wondered what exactly Israfel was looking at. "What is it that you require of me?"
"I need to find my brother. Will you help me?"
"By brother, I'm assuming you mean Dean Winchester? Adam Winchester is currently in Hell." Sam narrowed his eyes, trying not to let his guilt about that rise to the surface.
"Yes, Dean." The angel turned and started to observe various items in the hotel; the television, the lamps. He supposed Israfel never had any reason to visit Earth. Sam decided to wait patiently. It would probably more difficult if Sam rushed him.
"I've heard rumors about Dean."
"There's a gossip mill in Heaven?"
"We don't have mills in Heaven, Sam, but there is a fair amount of gossip." Angels would never get these things, would they? The angel continued to talk. "I am old, Sam. I've been around almost as long as Michael, building and destroying and re-building Heaven to make it what it is today. I have seen angels destroy each other, heal each other, love each other and hate each other. I have no reason to choose sides when it comes to matters of war and secrecy. To me, these things are trivial, and the climate will shift in due time and it won't matter anyway. The conflict changes like seasons, each one more pointless than the last. Unlike the new angels, I have met God. I have experienced our Father's will. Our father's will is what all angel's crave, so if they don't have that, they try to create it. Why do you think there are so many denominations?"
"I've honestly never thought about that." Sam responded, taking a moment to ponder.
"This is boring, Sam." Lucifer drawled, impatiently.
"It's because each angel who has never met God has a different idea of the will of God based off of snippets of what their older brothers have told them. They write it down and try to pass it off as the "Word of God". In reality it's so much simpler than that. What's happening to your brother is either viewed in Heaven as a blessing or an abomination. There are two sides to this war, and the angels have decided they need to choose one or the other."
"Then what is it? The thing with my brother? Is it good or bad?"
"Are you honestly just going to sit there chit chatting?" Lucifer inquired, raising his eyebrows expectantly. Sam shook his head, ignoring him.
"God's will in this matter is not of my knowledge, but I know that he's intentionally created this conflict. I believe that the reason he did it is one more lesson for the angels of Heaven somehow. It is a gift for your brother and Castiel. God has created this war, that much I know. I know that God has always wanted his angels to become like the humans, so perhaps this is Him bridging the gap. I believe that, in any case, this matter is not for me to involve myself in. I don't know what you are asking of me, Sam, but I will have no part in this war." Lucifer tapped his invisible watch.
"You don't even have to. Just tell me where my brother is."
"I cannot. He is hidden from me, and even if I could tell you, I wouldn't. That angel on your shoulder is not smiling, and I fear the darkness in your heart that grows because of its presence." Darkness crossed the face of Israfel for a moment as he looked at Sam.
"This isn't really Lucifer, it's my head." Sam explained.
"Whatever he is, you're walking his path. That is the path of greed, selfishness and ultimately loneliness. Your brother left because you both have a tendency to claim to know what's right and wrong. He didn't want you to make that decision for this child. Lucifer has already convinced you to try to use me. What else can he convince you to do?" Sam grit his teeth.
"This is my choice. Lucifer has no say in the matter."
"I bid you then, try to refuse him next time he tells you to do something." Sam rolled his eyes, but at the same time, it made him wonder. He looked at Lucifer curiously for a moment, the fallen angel in his mind staring back at him in interest. Sam wondered when he'd started following his suggestions so blindly. He knew it was just his subconscious, but a lot of these things that he was doing were questionable at best. He turned his attention back to Israfel.
"I know I shouldn't just be doing what Lucifer says, but nothing else is working at this point. I don't want to harm Dean or his baby. I'm just worried about him." Sam sighed, sitting on the bed and running his fingers through his long hair. It was at that moment that Sam deeply wished he hadn't created such a rift in his relationship with Dean. Dean always said that he trusted him, but it was clear now that that had been a lie. Sam was running out of options. He hated being alone. He was absolutely nothing without Dean. He needed to at least talk to the older Winchester. He had to see where Dean stood. "I just need to make sure he's okay. If you won't tell me, then I'll have to do it myself." Sam lit a match and tossed it in front of Israfel, creating a holy fire circle around him. The angel made no motion of surprise, He only looked sadly at Sam.
"I will pray for you, Samuel Winchester." Suddenly Sam found himself being hurtled against the wall by a fucking bulldozer.
Wait no, Sam realized upon further inspection; It was a pissed off looking angel. Two more angels had entered the picture. He couldn't get a good look at them though, because before he knew it, there was an iron-like grip to his neck and he was staring into the angered face of a woman with long blonde hair and grey eyes.
"Samuel Winchester you are detested by both sides of Heaven. I am Judiel. I strive to bear witness to the birth of the Chosen. You are a threat and if you can't be reasoned with, the only other option is elimination." 'Judiel' froze, her voice caught in her throat. She looked down to where a silver angel blade had impaled her in the stomach, bright white light leaking out from the hole. Sam pulled back the blade quickly, killing the other angel who'd attacked him in retaliation. The angels' eyes burned white and the beings were decimated from their lifeless vessels, leaving giant, wing-shaped scorch marks burned into the room. Sam's face was hard and cold as he looked down at the lifeless forms on the floor of the motel.
"I can't let anybody get in my way." Sam looked up at Israfel, the hurt and pain enveloping his heart and numbing him from the acts of brutality he just committed. The angel looked deeply sad. "I'm sorry about your brother and sister, but I have a ritual to perform."
When Dean entered the kitchen later that day, surely enough, Castiel was dutifully making quesadillas. Dean felt that pesky fluttering in his stomach again because, God, this angel was just so perfect. Castiel didn't even ask anymore, he just. . . Did. That was nice. More than nice. Dean moved to the counter seeing a bag he didn't notice before. It had the word "Bakery" printed on it. It was from the bakery from the grocery store they were at that day.
Dean dug into the bag and almost squealed in delight when he noticed a giant pumpkin pie sitting inside.
"You got me pie?!" Dean exclaimed excitedly. Cas looked up, his face alight with obvious pride.
"I was thinking that it'd been a long time since you've seen a suitable pie. I thought perhaps it might cheer you up a bit with the denial of hot sauce on quesadillas." A giant grin split Deans face and he pulled Castiel in for a tight hug. Cas pulled back and they were a mere inch from each other's faces. "I hope you don't mind pumpkin."
"Pie is pie, Cas. I don't discriminate." Dean felt his face heat up realizing that Cas had been thinking about him and God, that was the fucking sweetest shit in the history of his life. He could literally kiss Castiel right now—Actually. . . Dean's eyes shifted to those soft, pink lips and he licked his lips on instinct. He didn't remember ever initiating a kiss with Castiel, but perhaps it was time to do so. He gathered all his nerve before pressing a soft kiss to his lips—A chaste thing that lingered just a few seconds longer than was absolutely necessary, remembering that the site said to 'make his interest known'. Cas stiffened in surprise before sighing contently, his hands moving to the Winchester's hips, tightening just a bit. Mmm It was nice, feeling those possessive fingers on his body again. Castiel's lips were so soft and pliant and fit perfectly against Deans and he didn't want it to end, but he had to because he was seducing Cas. He couldn't just let Cas have his desert before dinner. No Castiel had to show him that he wanted it. Dean pulled away only a millimeter, looking heatedly into Castiel's eyes. "Thank you." He breathed against the angels sweet lips.
Castiel was frozen and quickly turning an attractive shade of pink and Dean grinned, not minding having that kind of effect on the angel. He wondered if maybe it worked and Cas's mind was quickly filling with lecherous thoughts like Dean's was. They hadn't done anything remotely sexual in days now. Surely there would be a little pent up frustration in that too tightly wound body of Castiel's. Dean had been about to lean in for another, much hotter kiss, pressing their bodies flush against each other, when Castiel stuttered something about quesadillas and burning and turned around to tend to them, shooting down Dean's hopes that Castiel was in the mood for a little hanky panky. Dean's eyebrows knitted together and he fought internally to squash his disappointment. Well Cas had beenin the middle of cooking.
Dean stepped back and shook the failed exchange from his head, instead focusing on the lovely pie on the counter. He hadn't had a good pumpkin in ages. He was almost salivating at the thought and he wasted no time cutting himself a generous piece. Time to bury his stormy emotions in food!
Sitting down at the table, he cut a bite with his fork and put it into his mouth, only to suddenly spit it out again. Something was wrong on so many levels.
"Is the pie not satisfactory?" Castiel asked, his eyebrows shooting up to his brow. Dean blinked, smelling the pie, sure that it smelled like pumpkin. His tongue, however, disagreed. Dean cut a bite and shoved it into Castiel's face. The angel awkwardly took the bite and chewed, a look of confusion on his face.
"It tastes like spearmint!" Dean exclaimed.
"I don't detect any spearmint in this by taste. To me it tastes like what a typical pumpkin pie would taste like. I remember because you made me try five different kinds of pie back in Minnesota." Dean put another bite of the pie in his mouth and shook his head, spitting it into the napkin. Nope. Definitely not pie. Castiel drew his brows together worriedly.
"The book we bought stated that your taste buds might work a little differently while you're pregnant. Perhaps you're not tasting it the same as me." Dean gaped at him.
"You're saying that, because of this," He pointed to his belly. "Pie tastes disgusting?"
"It's entirely possible." Dean shook his head, pushing the plate away.
"Great. Just great. When I finally do get some decent pie, it tastes like mouthwash!"
2. Eye contact! The eyes are windows to the soul and he will see that fire burning in yours if you allow him to just take a look.
"All in all this town is pretty quiet. There hasn't been any strange occurrences in going on ten, um, ten years." Cas turned away from the laptop only to have Dean's face directly in front of his again. Castiel narrowed his eyes and moved his head, Dean following his movement instantly and never breaking eye contact. "Dean is there something on my face?" Dean sighed and looked away. Obviously this one was a dud. Leave it to Cas to be completely oblivious.
3. Talk suggestively. There's nothing like a little love language to spice up any conversation.
"How are you feeling today?" Castiel asked the next day. Dean was assuming he was talking about his pregnancy or something, but he decided to ignore that bit and go for something just a little more interesting.
"Pretty bad, actually." A worried frown appeared on Cas's brow and he pressed his hand to the hunter's forehead.
"Are you ill? Are you feeling really nauseas?" Ok. Here came the good stuff.
"More hungry actually, but not for food." Dean smirked, stepping closer into Castiel's personal space and playing with the lapels of Castiel's coat. Cas looked confused.
"This pregnancy business it more complex than I thought. I read that pregnant women sometimes crave dirt. And before you yell at me, I'm not calling you a woman. Would you like me to get you some dirt, Dean?" Dean rolled his eyes and pushed Castiel away. Freakin' clueless angels.
"No I don't want dirt, Cas. Jesus." Dean threw up his hands in defeat and stomped back to the bedroom.
4. Touch is of utmost importance
Initiating Skin to skin, or any physical contact at all is important and it should be executed frequently and relentlessly. The constant touches will light him on fire and he'll end up craving more and more of it. Sometimes the slightest brush of an arm is enough to ignite those sparks!
Castiel was on the computer in the living room, becoming updated on recent local news to make sure they weren't in any danger (from other jerks). Dean bit his lip, not 100 percent sure about how this was going to go down but he had to try. He sat down only inches away from Castiel on the loveseat, turning so that he was deliberately pressing their thighs together. Dean unfolded the magazine under his arm, gazing unseeingly at a random page. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Castiel's stony expression falter only for a millisecond before he was back to scanning his page. Dean didn't want to make it too obvious, so his next move was a few minutes later.
Cas was using the touchpad to scroll so his left arm was resting on his lap and Dean bit his lip. This was his chance. He started to dance his fingers along Cas's wrist, drawing invisible shapes and tickling it with his nails. Dean felt his face burn because seriously just what did he expect to accomplish from this? Castiel stopped what he was doing and looked at Dean's offending hand curiously.
"Is there something wrong with my wrist?" Castiel asked, honestly concerned. His brow knitted together in confusion and Dean suddenly felt mortified and pulled away as though Cas's skin was on fire.
"N-N-No! I just um. . . Oh what is that?" Dean decided to plow through and keep on because there was nothing else to lose here. He leaned over Castiel's shoulder, kneeling on the couch and looked intently at the screen as he let his hand grab gently onto Castiel's shoulder, their bodies pressed tight against each other now, the only thing separating them now, a couple layers of clothing. He swallowed, trying to banish his nervousness because there was a storm brewing in his chest now. His heart was beating wildly and Dean wondered what had possessed him to even do all of this. Was it even working? Dean knew that the strangeness of this behavior wouldn't escape even Castiel. Castiel was looking at him now, a very distressed expression on his face and Dean wondered if maybe he was freaking the angel out.
Dean decided to turn it up one more notch and use Cas's thigh for leverage, his hand squeezing dangerously close to Castiel's groin. The angel sucked in a breath and tensed under the hunter's hand. He decided to catch Cas's eye now and felt his heart sink at the mortified expression there. Okay he was definitely only freaking Cas out. Dean stood up, suddenly feeling very depressed.
"I-I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. Sorry."
"Dean?"
5. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. If all of the above didn't work, perhaps your significant other needs some time to miss you. Try making him jealous and realize the treat he's missing out on.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Cas said warily as Dean embarked on the journey of finding a shirt that hid his modest 'baby bump'. Tonight they were going prowling and Dean was determined to attract as many lovely ladies as he possibly could. He wasn't exactly planning on hooking up with any of those women, he just needed visual confirmation that he was still a stallion. He wanted Cas to understand that he was still very much the most desirable man in the mid-west and the angel was letting this opportunity to exclusively bed Dean Winchester slip through his superhuman fingers like water. Dean was a bit apprehensive, going out there and flirting while pregnant, but he wasn't showing that much, anyways. If you looked closely, you would just think it was simply one cheeseburger too many. He still had his form. . .
. . . Didn't he?
"Cas, how noticeable is my belly? Like, do I look like a fatass that eats cheeseburgers all day?" Dean interjected, completely side-stepping Cas's concerns. Cas looked at him for a moment in a "Really?" sort of manner, but looked at his stomach critically.
"Well the only part of you that sticks out is your belly. I don't know how you maintain your figure since you really are a fatass that eats cheeseburgers all day,"
"Excuse me?!—" Dean was about to protest when he realized Cas wasn't actually the one who said that. Gabriel was sitting next to Cas, who was looking at Gabriel warningly, telling Gabriel not to borrow his voice whenever he pleased. "Oh it's you." Dean rolled his yes.
"You know, Dean, you could be nicer to me."
"Says the person that killed me 2348 times."
"I'm surprised your thick head could remember all of them!"
"Enough, both of you." Castiel admonished. He turned to his brother. "Why are you here, Gabriel?" Gabriel stood up, placing his hand on his chest and looking affronted.
"Can't I just visit my daddy-to-be baby brother? And his soon-to-be mommy who just completed his first trimester?!" Gabriel clapped excitedly, Dean continued to look unimpressed.
"He's just as much the father of our child as I am, Gabriel. Dean is very much male." Gabriel grinned, poking Cas's chest knowingly.
"And you would know, wouldn't you?" Cas blushed and backed away towards Dean who was still looking entirely unimpressed. But Gabriel was right about one thing: He was a third way in. that left only 2 thirds of this t-thing and he really, really should start thinking about parenthood but it was just so difficult!
"Fine, if it will make you stop being mad at me, I'll have you know you still look like a sculpted model, Dean. Honestly if I didn't know you were pregnant I wouldn't even notice your belly." Dean let that comment boost his ego just a bit and was mortified as the thought of flirting with Gabriel to make Cas jealous entered his head before he pushed it out just as quickly.
"Well Gabriel if you had nothing else to blabber on about, me and Cas have things to do so if you'll kindly butt-out—"
"Sorry to interrupt your date, but Sam misses you, Dean," Dean felt his face frown instantly at the mention of his brother, that protective instinct flaring up in him like a fuckin' cold sore on lemon juice. If it was one thing Castiel and Dean were in agreement upon, it was that they didn't talk about Sam. It was too painful and Dean was perfectly happy to avoid the topic. Dean felt his face heat up at Gabriel's word choice in regards to their activities for the evening. He shook his head.
"This isn't a date, Gabriel, and If you're trying to make me feel guilty, I'll have you know it's not going to work. It wasn't like I had a choice in leaving."
"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. But you should know that Sam is looking for you and he will do anything to find you." Gabriel's tone of voice was grim in a way that gave Dean chills.
"And what does anything entail?" Dean inquired. He noticed Cas looking warningly at Gabriel and frowned.
"Maybe you should ask your boyfriend." Gabriel suggested. Dean looked at Cas (Damn it why did he instinctively look at Cas?), quirking an eyebrow, giving his best "Lucy you have some 'splainin to do" look. Cas didn't say anything, but at least had the decency to look sheepish. "It's time we told him, Castiel. The situation is getting worse."
"What the hell? You guys have been chatting behind my back about Sam? Did it ever cross your minds that it might be important that I know?" Gabriel sighed and cut in, not letting Castiel speak.
"The last thing you need to be is stressed out about Sam, Dean. I don't want you doing anything stupid, but as it is, I need you to take extra precaution. Sam is dangerous."
"I wouldn't have left if I didn't already know that." The humor was completely gone from Dean's voice and a collective chill ran through the room.
"I don't think you understand just how dangerous he's become. Lucifer is still very much a part of Sam, whether you want to believe it or not." Dean rolled his eyes.
"I'm pretty sure I was there when we locked Lucifer away in the pit, Gabe. How can he still be controlling Sam?"
"He's locked away, yes, the parts of him that weren't left inside of Sam. There's still part of my brother's consciousness inside of Sam's head. Before Lucifer was exorcised from Sam, he left a piece of himself. Something of a ghost of Lucifer resides in your brother."
"An angel ghost? Isn't that just a little redundant?" Gabriel rolled his eyes this time.
"It's not something that can be exorcised. It's an imprint, a memory. It's like a side-effect of being Lucifer's vessel. This 'ghost' is hard-wired to act in the interest of the real Lucifer. Sam's brain had been programmed to crave Lucifer's presence ever since he was crafted for the apocalypse. Lucifer wouldn't leave Sam's mind without tweaking that vulnerability a little bit. It manifests in the form of a split personality, forever looking for opportunities, making the victim eager to have Lucifer guide him—hinting, suggesting, manipulating. It's not Sam's fault per-say, but it's a hell of a disorder. Sam's mind will stop at nothing to get Lucifer out of the cage. The situation is dire and we need you guys to be extra cautious, because Sam has effectively killed any angel who has tried to deter him."
"Excuse me?" Dean's voice was tight as he processed Gabriel's words. Sam was killing angels?
"He's got Israfel trapped in holy fire and he's way too skilled with an angel blade. He's already killed Judiel and Ambriel," Gabriel said, sadly, looking at his brother. Dean noted the flash of pain in Cas's eyes at the news, and he wondered for a moment if hearing of one of his brother's demises was as painful every time as it was for Dean to watch Sam die and go to hell. Gabriel pulled his iron mask on and continued talking. "And he's geared up to perform an Enochian ritual to see the Grace network. The situation is looking grim. If you guys slip up even one millimeter, Sam will find you." Gabriel warned, a grim look on his face. Dean stepped closer, balling his fist, trying to quell the desperate feeling rising in his chest over his brother turning to the dark-side again without even realizing it.
"Well what the hell do we do? How can we get Lucifer out of my brother's head?"
"Well that's the hard part. You don't. Only a will of iron steel can ignore the call of Lucifer and your brother is decidedly lacking in that department." Dean bit his lip, a completely different set of worries making themselves present in his mind. As much as he loved Sam, he couldn't let him get anywhere near the kid in his stomach.
"What is Sam going to do if he finds me?" The hunter asked, his voice bereft and much less confident than he'd willed it to be.
"Lucifer will lay low in his mind until your baby is born. Sam will convince you that there's nothing wrong with his head, then, Lucifer will convince Sam that he needs to kill you and take the baby. He will raise it until it is strong enough to fight the angels in his quest to free Lucifer." Gabriel huffed at the blank stares he was getting. "Well don't blame me! It's not my fault our brother's such a jerk!" Dean rolled his eyes.
"So I can't see my brother and I can't help my brother. Basically Sam is doomed."
"Not really. Nothing can really happen to Sam except a really naggy Lucy in the back of his mind complaining that things aren't happening. The only problem is he will stop at nothing to find you. If staking out Cas's Grace doesn't work, he will find another way. This is why I'm moving in!" Dean shook his head, crossing his arms and standing up.
'Oh no no no. I will have none of that. You can find a nice motel to stay at but you ain't stayin' here!" Gabriel shook his head.
"You silly, silly boy. I meant I'm moving in with Sam! I'm going to make him think I'm trying to help him, but really I'll be keeping tabs on him. I'll see if I can't convince him to give up this plan and do something more interesting. At least I'll try to break his connection with Lucifer." He made a disgusted face. "Like I want to be around you and Cassie on your honeymoon. Ew, no." Dean blinked, as though seeing Gabriel for the first time.
"Y-You'd actually do that for me?" Gabriel rolled his eyes, looking away.
"Well yeah. . . You're like family now so it's kind of my duty to protect you." Dean nodded, not entirely sure if this was a good thing or not. He never realized just how this 'thing' with Cas was affecting his relationship with Heaven. "Hey can I touch your belly?!" Gabriel asked, akin to an excited puppy.
"Absofuckinglutely not," Dean protested. It was in vain since Gabe pushed himself forward and pressed his hand to his belly regardless.
"Can you believe I've never touched a pregnant belly before? I've been alive for thousands of years and I've never done this!" Dean recovered from his shock and shoved Gabriel away.
"If you want to keep your prissy angel hands you won't do it again!"
"I'd prefer it if you didn't as well, brother." Cas agreed, his voice gruff with irritation. Dean smirked, now convinced that jealous Cas was his favorite Cas. Dean was still pissed at him, though!
"Your baby is maturing wonderfully," Dean paused, gaping at Gabriel. He-He could tell?
"How do you know?"
"You think I can't see how your pregnancy is progressing? Everything is developing correctly and on time. Your baby is strong and healthy. I can even tell you what gender it is if you want me to," Cas's ears almost literally perked up at that. Dean was speechless.
Gender?!
And once again Dean was brought back to the fact that this was really, truly, one-hundred percent, no bull-shit happening. He placed his hand on his stomach and felt lightheaded all of a sudden. Cas seemed to sense his distress and steadied him with a hand on his arm. Gabriel's eyes flicked to him in concern for what seemed like a millisecond before the cheerfulness came back full throttle. "Well I'll see you boys later. I have a Sam to convert. Let me know whether or not you want me to spoil the surprise!" In the next instant, Gabriel was gone with a flutter of wings.
Dean allowed the fog of the new information clear from his head and he turned to Castiel, irritation in his brow.
"I don't like you keeping shit from me Cas."
"Dean, I didn't want to but I had to. The information would have made you even sicker than you already were."
"I don't give a shit. At least you could have told me that you had things under control, but you didn't say a damn thing. If this is going to work, you have to communicate with me, you got it? No secrets and no sneaking around with Gabriel behind my back. Sam is my brother and I have every right to know all the fucked up shit he's going through, understand?" Castiel shifted uncomfortably.
"Of course, Dean. You're right. I should have told you. I'm. . . I'm really sorry." Cas looked up, his blue eyes revealing that yes, he was sorry. Dean had to strengthen his resolve because, as he was quickly discovering, he was way too susceptible to puppy eyes.
"You will tell me this kind of shit from now on, got it?"
"Yes, Dean." Dean nodded.
"Now we're going to go out tonight, and we're going to have fun. I don't care about this bullshit. Nobody's ruining my day. Not even you."
They made their way to the Halloway bar (the one that seemed the most popular). The walk was silent, Cas looking properly chastised, and Dean trying to quell his anger and disappointment. He was more put out by the fact that Cas kept something so big from him than he wanted to admit. He thought that they had something here? How was Dean supposed to learn how to trust Cas again when he did these things.
When they got to the bar, Dean ordered them a couple drinks and Castiel looked a bit uncomfortable. Dean wanted to forget the recent developments and have a good time. He hoped with time (and alcohol) he could achieve that.
"Dean, this is dangerous. What if we're recognized? We can't keep track of leviathans. What if they are in this town?"
"Relax, Castiel. You did the research. No funny business for ten years. I can't be cooped up in that house all the damn time. I need human contact!" Castiel narrowed his eyes and Dean imagined he looked a bit hurt by that statement. "Look, I like hanging out with you but I go crazy staying in one place all the time. Let's try to have fun tonight, okay?"
"Okay, Dean." Castiel still seemed a bit uncertain but visibly tried to relax. Dean knew that the alcohol wouldn't do anything for him, but Dean was already starting to feel a nice buzz. He spotted a pool table amongst the collection of slightly intoxicated patrons. There were a few people playing and Dean wondered if he could join in. "Wanna play pool?" Castiel narrowed his eyes skeptically.
"I don't know how."
"I'll teach ya. Come on." Castiel reluctantly followed Dean towards to pool table where the angel stood back to watch. There was a group of ladies playing and Dean smiled, laying on the charm.
"My friend here doesn't know how to play. Can you teach him?" The girls lit up at the sight of Castiel and their gazes were less than pure, but Dean ignored it. He'd be able to take care of himself. Two girls took the opportunity to teach Cas about scoring and the balls and Dean picked out a nice stick to use, bringing it back to the table. He found the triangle and put in a few quarters lining up the colored balls and proceeded to break.
He shot a few holes for about ten minutes, his glance persistently stuck on the angel getting a little too friendly with the girls over there. A perky little blond seemed especially outgoing with the way she kept hanging all over him.
"You hold that stick well," A sultry voice whispered in his ear. Dean turned his head and was met with huge green eyes and a vicious little smile. He grinned back.
"And your name is?"
"Caroline. You're new in these parts? I've never seen you or your boyfriend around before." Dean sputtered. B-Boyfriend? Really?
"Excuse me. . . Boyfriend?" She giggled, latching onto his arm.
"Isn't he? You keep glaring over there every five seconds. You look like you wanted to murder my poor Angela when she started hanging all over him." Dean's eyes were instantly trained on the way 'Angela's' massive chest was currently pressed against Castiel's arm. Castiel was frozen solid, apparently unable to talk about anything even remotely close to pool. So he was content just being chatted up, then? Dean narrowed his eyes.
"Cas is a big boy. He can do whatever the hell he wants. I don't even care." If Cas thought those girls were better company than Dean, then so be it. He turned to the girl and they started playing some billiards. She was gorgeous. He was reminded of when he used to pick up chicks like her. He had the idea of doing so now, but for some reason he couldn't stop peaking over his shoulder, becoming more and more irritated with every careless brush against Castiel's arm or bat of an oversized eyelash.
"Look, sweetheart. I get that you're out here and want to have some fun, but if you want him to stop flirting with them, just tell him."
"I don't." Dean insisted. "What makes you so convinced I'm gay anyways?" She sighed.
"It's not that I'm convinced you're gay. I just know that look."
"Look? What look?"
"The way your eyes linger on him means he's more than just a friend to you. Your tapping your fingers impatiently which means he not paying attention to you and you're upset by that. You're probably using me to try and make him jealous, right?" Dean gaped at her, lost for words. She laughed. "What, were you reading some sort of couples magazine? Unfortunately people aren't so cut and dry." She moved closer and whispered in his ear. "You have to make it convincing." Before Dean could even blink, the woman's lips were melded to his and he could feel her sticky lip gloss and smell all the make up on her face. It was decidedly unpleasant in comparison to the tasteless passion gotten by kisses with Castiel. Had it always been like this with women? He pulled back as quick as his mind caught up with him and raised an eyebrow in question. She shrugged and looked pointedly over his shoulder. He turned his head to see Cas striding over, a very angry glare on his face. Oh shit. . .
"Cas—" Dean started, a defensive excuse on his lips before Castiel grabbed his arm and yanked him forward.
"We're leaving." He said tersely, his voice dangerous and low and sending arousing shivers down Dean's spine. Dean looked over his shoulder to see Caroline wink. Dean didn't want to even think of all the trouble he was in right now. Cas was fucking pissed.
"Come play again, sweetheart!" Angela called as they exited the bar through the back. Castiel rounded the corner and pulled Dean harshly in the direction of the house. Dean tried to pull out of his grasp but it was all for nothing. Cas was stronger than a machine and kept walking.
"Cas let me go! Come on, dude!" Dean yanked harder but to no avail. "Cas stop!"
"Do you think my feelings for you are a joke?" Cas said, stopping and whipping around to face Dean, his face full of hurt and anger. Dean bit his lip, his face heating up in a strange mixture of shame, arousal and fear.
"Of course not!" Castiel threw up his arms in agitation.
"Then what the hell, Dean? What was that in there? I turn around and you're kissing that scantily clad concubine when you know how I feel about you? Why would you do this?" Dean felt guilt bubbling to the surface and goddammit he hadn't wanted to kiss her. He wanted to tell Cas that, but his pride wouldn't allow him to.
"And what about you? You say you love me but then you ignore me all week and let all those bitches hang all over you like they're your own personal harem or something? That girl was one step away from stepping inside your clothes—" Dean suddenly felt dizzy. Very dizzy. He gripped his head, trying to steady the earth beneath his feet.
"Ignore yo—Dean what are you talking about? I had no intention of engaging in indiscretions with those women. You should know I have no interest in that. I was trying to think of the socially acceptable way to tell them to 'fuck off' when I turn around to—Dean? Dean what's wrong?" Dean felt his knees hit the cold pavement (or perhaps the pavement hit his knees, he couldn't really tell either way). He knew that Cas was right there, but he couldn't see him. He couldn't even feel the angel's Grace like he usually could. His vision was swimming in and out of focus and it felt like all of his energy was being drained.
The world slowly slid out of his point of view and he could hear a distant voice calling his name as the lights went out.
Sam was placed strategically in the center of a ring of blood. He was naked, hair and skin devoid of any lingering cleaning products as the ritual only allowed individuals in their purest state to pass the barrier into the realm. He sat with the bowl full of ground bark in his lap. He felt the uncomfortable sensation of the blood on the floor sticking to his skin, but it remained a complete circle nonetheless. Lucifer had translated the Enochian words he was supposed to recite, but it was strange that he was even able to do that as a hallucination; Did Lucifer leave knowledge of the angelic language in his head?
He decided to ignore the sinister feeling crawling up his back. He didn't have time to think about that. He had to find Dean. That was his mission.
"Remember, stay focused." Lucifer reminded him. "The sensation will want to numb you of all feelings and worries, but you can overcome it if you fight it. It's very important or you'll end up losing yourself, lost in the Grace network for all eternity as your body remains here and decays." Sam nodded, looking down at the paper in his hands.
As he spoke the words, his tongue danced around them fluidly like he'd been speaking the language his entire life. Before he even finished, the circle around him was shining as bright as the sun and he was enveloped in a warm light. It was peaceful and it calmed every one of Sam's senses. He almost didn't even remember why he was doing it
Almost.
Sam closed his eyes as the light wrapped around his mind and the colors of the room started swirling in front of him. He had the annoyingly familiar sensation of his mind disconnecting with his body before everything went black.
In the darkness, an angel in a tan trench coat was found at the side of a fallen hunter. Dean's face was pale and lifeless and his breath was as shallow as the faint beating of his heart.
Castiel used a small amount of his Grace to take his vitals. Dean's blood pressure was down, his heart rate unnervingly slow, but he couldn't pin-point the underlying cause until he extended his reach to the baby in his belly. Alarmed was he to discover that the Grace he'd felt there before was almost completely gone. Both father and child seemed to be in a critical condition. Castiel's heart rate sped up without his permission and a strong sense of panic arose in his chest. This couldn't have been happening. Dean had seemed perfectly fine and ready to kick his ass moments ago.
Cas bit his lip and looked around, his voice tight with the weight of the world crashing down on him. Dean would be okay. He had to be okay. Their relationship was only just beginning and now it was coming to an end? The child inside of Dean hadn't even taken its first breath, it would be tragic if the child couldn't even experience what it was like to grow up. Castiel would never know fatherhood and Dean. . . Well, Dean wouldn't love him. They'd be in Heaven and Dean would be too preoccupied with his friends and family to remember the time he spent with Castiel. With a sinking feeling in his chest at this realization, he knew now for sure that he wanted more than anything to live on this Earth with Dean and their child and he would do anything to make that happen.
"Dean. . . Dean wake up!" Castiel felt despair threatening to choke him. Dean wasn't responding and he didn't know what to do. He didn't want to use any more Grace, lest they be discovered by those who wanted to harm Dean and the baby. Dean couldn't defend himself and Castiel was only one angel. He wasn't even an archangel so he would be at a disadvantage were they to be attacked by a group of them. He did the only thing he could do and shouted at the top of his lungs. "Gabriel!"
There was no wind. No sound. Just peace, and it was threatening to seep into Sam's senses, making his mind fuzzy and pliant. He wanted so badly to just let everything go. He could take all of this responsibility and just forget about it.
He could have done that, but he didn't. Sam had to focus. He had to find Dean.
In the back of his mind, he realized that his corporeal form was gone and he was simply a consciousness hovering in a dark place. It was weird, being bodiless, but he felt disconcertingly pure. It was like his mind was having a hard time thinking about things too deeply. He couldn't let this feeling consume him, however.
Drawing strength from somewhere unknown, the Winchester raked his eyes (or whatever it was that he was seeing with) over the scene in front of him. hundreds of tiny lights shone in a web of what he assumed was Grace. Every so often, certain lights would shine more brightly and grow larger than others and then suddenly recede back into the tiny balls they once were. Sam was at a loss for words. Lucifer appeared beside him, a sinister smirk on his face.
"Welcome to the Grace network, Sammy."
Sorry about mistakes if there are any. It's very long and I don't have a beta. Also sorry for the cliffhanger, it was just getting so long. . . Reviews are love and I will fix anything you point out that happens to be weird/wrong/horrifying. : )