Seeing In Black

by TGyamiBakura

Dean is pissed when Castiel returns after the leviathan debacle. Cas continues to work with the brothers to defeat Dick and his army, all while trying to earn Dean's forgiveness. Taking their relationship to new-much scarier levels, Dean and Cas find out the hard way the extent of God's wrath when Dean suddenly finds himself feeding for two.

11. Seduction Part 2 of 2

Seeing In Black
Chapter 11 Seduction: A Memoir by Dean Winchester 2 of 2

a/n: Thank you all for reviewing and showing your love for this story. It's slow moving but I just want you all to know that I do love this story and I want to see it finished sometime in this life. I will try to keep my focus on Supernatural and the destiel flame burning bright.

Warnings: The blow job scene in this chapter, for some reason, seems to be more sexually explicit than any other sex scene I've written for this story, even though it's only a blow job. . . I'm stamping the NC-17 rating on this thing now just to be safe. I also apologize for any mistakes as this is my longest chapter yet and I do NOT have a beta.

::

Sam's entire world consisted of the glowing of a thousand tiny lights, each connected and moving and living. It was bright and warm and pure. Sam felt like he was a part of that. As he floated through it, the lights sought him out and greeted him cautiously, almost like they knew he was an intruder, but were curious all the same. Sam almost felt guilty for disturbing the peace, but the lights were forgiving and he didn't worry about it. As long as he didn't disturb the natural order of things, he could stay there however long he wanted.

And somehow he just knew that.

"Come back, Sam. You were doing fine before you let your mind wander." What was that? He was speaking with sound, words, vibrations and Sam could feel it and make sense of it. He knew this language.

Sam moved away from the voice. He didn't like it. It made him nervous.

"Sam you need to manifest."

"Manifest. . ." Sam said. Wow, he could say. . . He could speak!

"Your letting the peace consume you. It's easy to do when you're just a floating consciousness. It's easier to stabilize if you take the form of your body."

"Why would I want to do that? I'm perfectly fine like this."

"Sam you have a mission, remember?"

"A mission?"

"You have to find your brother. Manifest, please." Brother? A man from the same parents. Parents. Givers of life. Life. He'd had one of those. He had a life, parents and a brother. He had a broth—

What was he doing here? Where was this place? Oh right. The ritual. He had to perform a ritual to track. . . Castiel? That was right. Castiel was an angel—An angel that was with his brother. The angel keeping his brother away. . . His brother. Dean.

"Dean. . . Right. What do I do?" Sam didn't know where to begin. It was really difficult to concentrate right then because it seemed like every memory he ever had, everything he was had just been lost and was currently flooding back into his head all at once. It was very distracting. He couldn't seem to grasp and hold onto anything for very long. They came and went before coming back again, trying to stick but unable to.

"Just imagine your human body and fill in the blanks with your mind. Just think about it." Sam closed his eyes, plucking the image of his body from the swarm of images. Long hair, long legs, brown, plaid—Lots of plaid. Wow his hair was long. He really should cut that. . .

He quickly gathered every memory being thrown at him and bound them all up in a ball. The ball grew and soon everything was becoming so clear. When he opened his eyes, he was standing with his long legs. He looked down at his arms and flexed his hands. His mind seemed to be able to hold every memory now. Before it was so fluid, like water in the palm of your hands that tried relentlessly to escape. He didn't realize until now how much it felt like his skull was physically holding his mind together. He looked to the left and saw Lucifer standing next to him, a smirk on his face.

"You sure are difficult in soul form. I thought you'd never come out of it." Sam blinked, recalling his murky train of thoughts regarding his reason for being here. He was still kind of out of it—The peace was intoxicating—But he had better focus now.

"Sorry—Wait, soul form?"

"Soul form refers to the actual state of being sans your corporeal body. It's the purest state of being and it's very difficult to control since you don't have a brain to actually direct you. This is why nobody, not even angels like coming here. There's the very real danger of allowing yourself to be lost in the peace forever."

"And you couldn't bother to tell me that before I came waltzing in here like an idiot?" Lucifer shrugged.

"I figured you'd work out the kinks as you went along. But look! You're so in control now, you could put Michael to shame! We all decided to enter as a courage test when we were still fledglings. You should have seen him in here, it was awesome. Have you ever seen an angel drunk?"

"Yes." Sam remarked, hardly able to believe he could answer in the affirmative.

"Well imagine Michael! It was great. . ." Lucifer had the most listless look on his face and Sam stared at him like he grew a second head. Lucifer recalling his brothers fondly? Were pigs flying now, too? Lucifer noticed the look he was being given before he shrugged it off and continued. "Anyways, if you touch one of these things, it will tell you everything you need to know about the angel its chosen, including its exact location."

"The angel its chosen? You're saying angels are chosen by Grace? I had it in my mind they were born with it." Lucifer smirked.

"Well they are, but you have to realize, Grace is technically God juice, Sam. Since angels don't have parents, the Grace chooses what the angel will look like and then it creates it. It gives each angel a name and a purpose too." Sam moved closer to the ball of light and, surely enough, he could see tiny scrawl wrapped around the light in gold. He couldn't read the writing, but strangely enough he knew who it was.

"Diniel." The name rolled off his tongue and he looked at Lucifer suspiciously. "Why can I understand Enochian? Look, if you left it in my brain then that means you were planning on using it later. Why is it like this? What are you planning? I know you can't just be helping me find my brother. You're fucking Satan, so what is it you want?" Lucifer looked shocked and he put his hand to his chest in a wounded manner.

"You think I'm planning some sinister plot to escape hell and destroy heaven?" Sam nodded. Lucifer rolled his eyes. "Well you're probably right. I can't lie, Sam. You know that, but right now do you really have any other choice but to trust me?"

"You're going to kill my brother and his child." Sam said, his stance turning defensive.

"No I'm not, Sam. I'm not going to tell you my sinister plot, but I can tell you that Dean and that little abomination in his belly are safe, at least from me. I'm sure Heaven is having a field day with this, however." He said, chuckling a bit. "You need to find Dean, and I need to get myself out of that cage you all so nicely locked me in. We can work together, and when we both get what we want, we can go our separate ways. Easy as pie, right?"

"I doubt you'll want to go separate ways. You've always been carrying a torch for my body. Like I'm going to believe you're over that now." Sam snorted disdainfully. Lucifer rolled his eyes, conceding Sam's point.

"Well it is a perfect fit. . . But we can cross that bridge when we get there. You've defeated me once before, who says you can't do it again?"

"If I remember, correctly, defeating you earned me an all-expenses paid visit to hell, so I'm sorry if I'm not one-hundred percent on board with whatever shit you have planned."

"Oh, Sammy, Sammy, come now. You can choose to ignore me and just find Dean by yourself, and I will be lead to him, or you can take my advice and find him sooner and I'll still be lead to him. Either way we both get what we want; just one route is faster than the other. It's up to you, babe." Sam narrowed his eyes at the pet name.

"We'll see. For now we're doing things my way. I don't care if you come along for the ride, but you're not getting into my head. I'm taking your advice so I can find my brother. There will be nothing else." Lucifer raised his hands in concession, taking a step back and bowing slightly.

"Your wish is my command, Sam. I'm just that sweet little angel whispering advice on your shoulder." Sam curled his lip before turning away, the image raising bile in his throat. He was really messed up, taking advice from Lucifer of all people, but he knew he had a choice. He knew he had control of this so he wasn't going to stop if it brought him to Dean sooner. The moment he found his brother, he would simply tune the dark angel out and that would be the end of it.

"So how do I see the location of the angels?"

"You need to combine your consciousness', but looky! You're manifested, so all you have to do is touch one and you'll see." Sam looked nervously at the ball of glowing light before him before tentatively reaching out his hand.

When he connected with it, it was a rush the likes of which he'd never experienced. Images of heaven, angels and voices had his head spinning, a ringing in his ears and his eyes burned and he staggered away, gripping his head in agony. After the pain was over, Sam desperately tried to chase the memories but they were quickly slipping from his mind—No, more like his mind was rejecting it.

"Well I didn't say go and touch just any orb, Sam, gosh. Oh come on, don't pout. It wasn't that bad. You only saw images. If you saw the angels in person your eyes would have burned out of your skull. Grow a pair, okay? I'm embarrassed for you."

"Will you just shut—ow—The fuck up? It's like you never quit talking." Lucifer rolled his eyes, strolling past the agonized figure of Sam Winchester and stopping at a particular section of the web. Sam ignored him and concentrating on trying to recall the images he'd seen. The sounds and figures and flashes of things with colors he'd never seen were maddening and his head exploded in pain.

"Stop trying to remember it. Images like that will drive a human insane. Your brain isn't wired to fathom an angel's form or the true form of Heaven." Sam shook his head, a bit disappointed, but Lucifer had a point. He continued, looking towards the web of Grace. "Weak but important angels are usually placed in the inner portion of the web. Cassie's here somewhe—Oh! Interesting! You might want to check this out, babe. It's really freaking cool." Sam resisted the urge to groan petulantly, not anxious for another bit of Lucifer's chastising. Sam shoved Lucifer out of his way and looked down to the—Wait, what was that?

Connected to the web of orbs stood a solid black orb, not shining or growing or diminishing, just a hard force in the sea of fluidity. Around it was Castiel's name in Enochian and, upon closer inspection, Sam could see a faint glowing coming from inside.

"It's. . . locked?" Sam tried, looking to Lucifer for confirmation. Lucifer let out a puff of air, shrugging and gesturing in defeat.

"Well sure looks like it. I guess Castiel decided to take every precaution against someone finding him via Grace." Lucifer poked the barrier, jumping at the spark of electricity it created. He put his finger in his mouth, as though something like that hurt him. "Kiss it?" Lucifer held out his finger and Sam mustered up his best bitchface and the devil pouted, not liking being rejected. "Well the barrier is strong, but it's not infallible. I suspect any major outburst of Grace will easily push past its limits. The problem is it's impenetrable unless that happens, so we're stuck if Castiel is being careful."

"My brother always finds trouble, so Castiel will most likely be forced to use his Grace at some point." Sam rationed.

"But there's no telling whenever the hell that will be." Lucifer rolled his eyes, crossing his arms huffily.

"Then I'll wait." Sam said, parking his ass down right in front of the black box. He wasn't exactly sitting on anything, then again he hadn't exactly been standing on anything either, which was still mind boggling.

"Staying here is dangerous, Sam. You're lucid now, but prolonged exposure is going to break your focus and you'll wind up losing yourself again."

"I won't." Sam insisted, stubbornly.

"And what happens when days go by? Your body? You can't be here 24/7, Sam. You'll die in the human world if you don't take care of yourself."

"Then I'll leave only when I need to. If you're so insistent on helping, then you can let me know when I need to get back. You can keep me focused. We're both after the same thing right now, right? We can at least work together." Lucifer's lip curled in disgust

"That sounds disgustingly team free will," Lucifer sat down next to Sam, sighing in defeat. "But so be it. I'll keep you from dying and flying the cuckoo's nest while you sit here and wait for Castiel to slip up."

::

"Sam, wake up."

"Just a few more hours."

"Sam!" Sam snapped up at Lucifer, his eyes drooping and his body staggering as he was pulled out of the network. Upon further inspection, he realized, it wasn't Lucifer at all. The man before him was short and had longish hair and a mischievous grin on his face. Sam gripped his head in pain and stood clumsily to his feet, oblivious to his current state of undress because his mind couldn't even think. Gabriel helped steady him.

"Woah, when's the last time you ate, bro?"

"I hope you're not here to try to stop me, because last time your brothers tried, they ended up etched into the floorboards." Gabriel rolled his eyes, sitting Sam on the bed next to the circle of blood.

"If I wanted to stop you, you would have been dead by now." Sam looked at him weirdly.

"What do you want, then?"

"I'm worried about you, Sam. Simple as that. I think you're going to run yourself into the ground if you keep doing this." Gabriel sat on the bed, a worried frown on his face as he looked at the Winchester. Sam rubbed his eyes, the lack of sleep finally catching up with him. He'd been in the circle for 74 hours now, various snacks and empty water bottles littered the floor next to the ritual circle. Sam thought he would be bored staying in the Grace network all day and night, but he was content just letting his mind scatter while he was there, holding onto his focus just enough not to lose himself. If he came close, Lucifer was there to poke him back to reality. He would eat something fast and not particularly healthy, down a full water bottle and quickly get back to it.

The denizen of Hell was certainly being helpful, Sam was loath to admit. He didn't notice his body tiring until Lucifer woke him up to tell him to take a twenty minute nap every now and then. It wasn't much, but it was enough. It was all Sam needed. He had to stay awake because if he missed his chance to find Castiel's Grace signature, it was entirely possible he wouldn't get another one.

"I'm fine. I'll just take a twenty minute nap and everything will be fine." Sam lay down against the softness of the motel bed—Well softer than the floor anyways. He sighed, sinking into a deep sleep. Lucifer would wake him after twenty minutes.

::

When Sam awoke again, it was dark and the only light was the light coming from his cell phone display on the desk. Sam blinked the fuzzy haze of sleep from his senses before jolting up, the time on his cell phone reading 4 am and just how long had he been sleeping? Gabriel was sitting on the end of the bed, smiling softly. Sam wanted to punch the smirk right off his face, and he would have if the action wouldn't shatter his fingers. Sam looked to his left to see Lucifer with a scowl on his face, looking extremely pissed off.

"He doped you up with some mojo so you wouldn't wake up until you were fully rested. I tried to stop him but he wasn't listening to me." Sam rolled his eyes. Of course he couldn't, Lucifer wasn't even real. He glared, instead, at Gabriel

"How long was I out?"

"Only about 20 hours—" He cut Gabriel off mid-sentence.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Sam jumped off the bed as though it were made of giant spiders, glaring at the archangel who only smiled sweetly.

"I wouldn't lie to you, Sam." Sam raked his fingers through his hair before setting himself (his suspiciously clean and clothed self) back into the circle, remembering that he needed to be naked and started tearing off his clothes. He felt Gabriel's eyes on him and he glared.

"Can you leave, please? I don't even know why you're here in the first place."

"I told you, I was worried."

"Like hell you were. What? Did Castiel send you to spy on me?" Sam swallowed his pride and took off his boxers, trying not to let his cheeks burn too hotly in embarrassment.

"I didn't know this was a free show."

"Shut up."

"I'm not playing Castiel's dog. I'm simply here because I would prefer you to not collapse of malnutrition and exhaustion."

"Well your concern isn't wanted." Gabriel opened his mouth, about to respond when he shut it awkwardly, looking off into the distance.

"Sorry kiddo, gotta cut our playtime short. I'll check on you again later, so you better not be two inches away from death this time." Sam rolled his eyes and concentrated on opening the barrier. He vaguely noted Gabriel disappearing as he entered the Grace network. He was able to pop right to Castiel's orb this time. It was as infallible as ever and Sam allowed his consciousness to partially drift. If he didn't do that, he would be utterly bored. In that state, at least, he didn't have to think about how boring it was. There was literally nothing but peace. Lucifer would snap him out of it if there was some sort of activity.

He didn't know how long he was out of it before he was being poked, the peace in his mind being disturbed. It was becoming easier and easier to recreate the body he made for himself.

"Sam! This is it. Castiel must have slipped up, because look!" Sam blinked, seeing the bright white shining inside the blackness of the orb. The orb vibrated ominously before the blackness dispersed and nothing but bright white light was left shining loud and proud.

"Castiel. . ." Sam didn't hesitate to sink his fingers into the bright light.

::

"Make him wake up." Castiel demanded glaring at Gabriel in their bedroom. Dean was covered with the blanket, his body shivering like crazy and Castiel couldn't even focus properly on anything. It was maddening and Gabriel said he would help, but here they were, sitting around Dean and the man was still skipping one heartbeat too many. Castiel fisted his hands, not liking the stern look of concentration Gabriel was donning. The man was only so serious when the situation was really bad.

"I had a feeling this would happen. Castiel, when was the last time you two had sex?" Cas blinked, his mind torn from the situation at hand and he suddenly felt very angry.

"That is not of import, Gabriel. Dean's life is in danger and you're asking me about our sexual activity?"

"If you want him to live, you'll answer me." Gabriel said grimly, his voice hard as stone and eyes even harder. Castiel swallowed and nodded, reminded all too vividly of how intimidating his brother could really be. He kept forgetting that Gabriel was actually an archangel and could smite him at any minute.

"Exactly a week ago." He said quietly. Gabriel nodded and worked his Grace over Dean's body. Cas watched his actions curiously, wondering what he was trying to achieve. It looked almost as though he was trying to make Dean absorb it.

Dean's body twitched slightly and Castiel stopped breathing, the anticipation too much for him to bear. He grabbed Dean's hand and his excitement quickly twisted into fear when the hunter's body started to convulse. Castiel stood up and looked frantically to Gabriel.

"What's happening to him?! What did you do?" Gabriel clenched his teeth in frustration.

"Come on, Winchester, seriously?" Gabriel slumped back, falling to his knees beside the bed. "What a dick." Castiel's brother huffed in irritation and ran his fingers through his hair. "Looks like it has to be you." He gestured wildly to Castiel. "Dean's rejecting me."

"What?" Gabriel shook his head and took Castiel's hand, placing it above Dean's heart.

"You need to let Dean absorb your Grace. The baby is half angel and angels can't be made without Grace. To make up for it, it will start absorbing Dean's life force and both father and child will die."

"How—"

"It's an emotional process. You need to find Dean's consciousness and form a link and get his permission. You have to convince him to let you into his thoughts. Only then can you transfer your Grace to his core."

"But Dean's unconscious!"

"He's here, just barely. Try Castiel. You're running out of time!" Castiel pushed down the panic in his mind and cleared it the best he could, reaching out with his consciousness to find Dean's. It was so quiet inside Dean's mind. . . Alarmingly quiet—But he could feel him. He could feel him there. He opened his eyes as he manifested in Dean's thoughts. It was nighttime and the stars were dotting the sky that he could see through a clearing of trees. He looked ahead, and in the distance he could see a car parked on the edge of a cliff. He noted his lack of ability to fly here, his wings altogether refusing to manifest with his vessel's image. It was Dean's consciousness, after all, and apparently it was a no-fly zone.

Castiel ran, his footsteps the only sound in the silent stillness of the night. He recognized the Impala as he got closer, and the man sitting atop was none other than Dean. He was sipping a beer and looking up at the night sky. Castiel skidded to a halt when Dean spoke.

"Beautiful night, isn't it?" His voice was wistful and candid, and it sounded like he didn't have a care in the world. Cas recognized this voice. This was the voice of a man that knew he gave the world everything he had and he had nothing to regret. This was the voice of a righteous man about to die.

"Dean listen, you have to—" Dean hopped off the car and turned towards Castiel.

"You shouldn't look so sad, Cas. I don't like it when you're sad." Dean walked up to him and pulled Castiel into a tight hug. "I'm glad you're here, man. I didn't want to leave without seeing you first. There's so much I never got to say to you and I want to say it now." Castiel felt the unfamiliar feeling of panic rise from deep within once again and shook his head, forcing himself to think rationally.

"No, No Dean this isn't what you think! You're not dying, we can fix this."

"What are you talking about? I may be dumb but I can tell when I'm dying. I've done it before. I always end up here." Castiel shook his head again, gripping Dean's shoulders too tightly before forcing him backwards.

"No, no, no. This time, I can save you. Please trust me. We just need to connect. . . Somehow." Castiel looked around, desperately for some sort of clue as to how he was supposed to do this. He'd never actually joined consciousness with anybody. Even taking a vessel didn't involve that kind of intimacy and it made him uncomfortable to think about. Castiel had heard of angels doing it before, but it seemed so taboo. Only Gabriel and Balthazar would talk about it so openly, like it were some kind of thrill that everyone should try at least once.

Castiel never imagined he'd be put in this kind of position, so he never asked how to do it. Dean smiled softly, putting his hand on Cas's face and stilling his motion. Blue locked onto green and Castiel looked at Dean sadly, despair gripping him tightly because he wasn't going to make it. He was flying blind and there was no obvious way out of this mess. At least, if everything were going to end anyways, he would be able to talk to Dean one last time. He could have that. He slumped and pressed his forehead to Dean's, wrapping his arms tightly around the man's waist and Dean let him. It was so wonderful. Couldn't they just stay like this forever?

"You know," Dean started, holding Castiel back tightly. "I was always kind of in denial about what was happening between us, but I just want you to know that I liked it. The thing you and I had, whatever it was. I was starting to think maybe it wouldn't be so bad if we became a thing. . . You know," Dean looked away nervously before speaking again. "Maybe it wasn't as one sided as you might have thought." Castiel felt his heart race, even though he knew it was just his consciousness. Dean felt this way? About him?

"You have romantic feelings for me?" Dean rolled his eyes his face turning crimson. He raked his fingers down his freckled cheeks.

"Not when you say it like that. Jesus, Cas." He looked at Cas through his long, dark lashes before looking away, his face softening a fraction. His cheeks were stained an attractive shade of pink. "But yeah, something like that." Castiel could hardly control the euphoria threatening to overwhelm him. In the back of his mind he noticed the gap between him and Dean's consciousness' and, as Dean revealed that little tid-bit of information, the gap grew smaller. Was that the key; Honesty and openness without reservation? He shook his head, grabbing Dean by the shoulders, his determination successfully reinstated.

"It won't end here, Dean. I'm going to get you out of here." He said firmly. "You need to trust me, okay?"

"I always trust you, even when I shouldn't, I do. You know that." Castiel took him by the hands, bringing their foreheads together again, this time in urgency.

"No, I mean trust me because you're going to have to open yourself to me. You need to let me see everything and allow me access to your mind to do whatever I want. I know it's difficult for you but you need to do this." Dean smiled, stroking Castiel's cheek with his hand.

"But, why?" Dean shook his head. "Cas I'm with you now and we'll be together in Heaven. It's okay."

"But you're forgetting something, Dean."

"What?" Castiel pressed his hand to Dean's stomach, looking deeply into the hunter's eyes.

"I. . . I want to watch our child grow up on Earth. I want to raise it and be a father. I want to do that with you. I want to live our lives with frustrating human limitations and aimlessly stumble our way through it all. We can't do that if you die." Dean's eyes suddenly cleared and his expression fell. Castiel brought his face closer to Dean, their lips barely touching. "Our child is about to die."

"O-Our child." Dean's grip tightened around Castiel's arms, his eyes widening in alarm. "C-Cas? Cas! I'm dying! I can't die yet What do I do?!" Cas pressed closer, pulling Dean's body close to him and wrapping his arms securely around his middle.

"Shh, it's okay, Dean. I'm here. Let me in. . . Let me see all of you." Dean studied him for a moment and nodded, his face softening just a fraction and that's when Cas felt it. Dean was suddenly projecting his entire life to Castiel—All the pain, the sorrow, Hell and the utter aloneness he'd felt time and time again. He was projecting the happiness he'd felt in the past few weeks being with Cas, he was projecting his trust, his forgiveness and his devotion to the angel, to whatever it was they had together. Castiel tried not to become overwhelmed by the raw emotion being forced through his barriers. It was Dean's soul and it was powerful. Castiel would probably have been able to look upon it for centuries if he allowed himself to, but he had a mission. Two lives depended on his success now—Two lives so very dear to him. Castiel gasped when he felt Dean's consciousness reach into his. He'd opened himself up just as wide as Dean had, but it still felt like an intrusion—One decidedly not unwelcome. He bit his lip, probably liking the feeling more than he should.

"Cas I feel you. . . I feel you so much." Dean's eyes were impossibly wide in wonder, as though he couldn't physically open them wide enough to see everything he was seeing. His retinas were darting from side to side, unseeing anything but what going on in his head. Tears streamed down his face, and Castiel wondered, for a brief moment, how a man could look so beautiful that way. "You're inside me and I'm inside you and its crazy. There are so many years of your life and they're all trying to speak to me at once." Castiel shook him gently and Dean's eyes focused on him once again.

"Don't get lost, Dean. Don't look upon the images too closely. Your mind can't hold all of that information." He kissed him once before pulling back to look at him. "I'm going to send my Grace into the connection now." Dean's eyes widened once again.

"Your Grace?" Castiel nodded.

"Don't be alarmed." He pushed his Grace forward through the connection and almost instantly it was absorbed, spreading through Dean's body like wildfire. Castiel staggered, the force of the pull making him dizzy and he opened his eyes, suddenly aware that he was no longer in Dean's dream-world. Their foreheads were still touching but Dean's eyes were closed.

But the connection was still there. It was still strong and demanding. Castiel looked up at Gabriel, the weight of the relief lying heavily on his shoulders.

"He's alive. It's working."

"Great, but now we have a huge fucking problem on our hands." Gabriel was staring pointedly into nothing. Castiel looked at him strangely before feeling something infinitely strange. It was an intrusion the likes of which he'd never felt before. Somebody, somebody he never gave permission to, was touching. . . touching his Grace and he felt violated, exposed and. . . Oh.

"Sam. . ." He ground out, his hidden wings twitching into visibility because he couldn't concentrate on keeping them out of this plane when somebody was clawing at his Grace from beyond and he had a link to keep with Dean at the same time. He felt one wing fan out in agitation, feathers ruffling agitatedly.

"Yeah, Sam. I was just there, had to pull him out of the Grace network kicking and screaming." Castiel's wings were drawn out threateningly as he tried to keep his concentration on the link with Dean and forced himself not to try to push out Sam. He couldn't do both at once.

"He's in the Grace network? He's found my signature. . ."

"He did and now he's going to know where you are." Castiel started to stand up in alarm but Gabriel held him in place, not letting the angel's hand leave Dean's body. "You need to keep your Grace stream flowing, or the process will be interrupted."

"P-Process?" Castiel felt a distinct tug on his consciousness now, he did his best to block it out but he couldn't be one-hundred percent sure if he was successful. Dean's consciousness was silent as he slept, but it still took a lot of Castiel's energy to maintain the link.

"Yes. It seems that the baby needs to be exposed to Grace to keep it alive while it is inside of Dean. Dean doesn't have Grace so it has to be you. Kind of like how male fish fertilize eggs."

"I don't like this analogy." Castiel was hardly a fish. Yank

"Well deal with it. The Grace you've been giving Dean up to now has been enough but insufficient. When you stopped fucking, things got bad real fast." Castiel felt his face get hot at those words.

"We've only had sex three times."

"It was enough, but barely. It seems all the insufficient Grace has caught up with him when it stopped altogether for a week."

"And you didn't notice that when you examined the child yesterday?" Castiel said, irritation coloring his voice.

"I hadn't touched its Grace before, so I didn't know what was normal but apparently it was really, really low. I wasn't informed that the baby needed a supply of external Grace to survive, Castiel. It's not something that can be measured anyways without mapping it first, so even if I had known, I wouldn't have been able to tell how critical it was." Cas frowned, irritated that Father hadn't bothered to let them know something so important.

"Well how do we prevent this from happening again?"

"You need to do this," He gestured to Dean's prone figure on the bed. "At least once a week."

"And for how long?"

"Well when was the last time you felt the baby's signature?"

"The day after you first visited me—during Dean's sleep."

"Well when it's active you'll notice. The baby will interact with Dean more when it's at a healthy level. Take note of the activity and how long between exchanges it takes for it to diminish." Castiel looked away, thinking of breaking this news to Dean.

"Dean isn't going to like this. I know it."

"Well you can't fuck your way through it anymore. It's not enough. The baby needs more of your Grace to survive." Castiel nodded, his face heating up as he thought about his next question. Gabriel raised a brow. "As for that, you can stay out of Dean long enough for me to check in with Sam and see where he's at, right? If he hasn't discovered your location, you don't want to tempt fate by taking unnecessary risks." Castiel nodded, running his fingers through Dean's short, light brown hair. With the way Dean had been behaving lately, Castiel wondered if it really qualified as 'unnecessary'. How was Castiel meant to control himself around this man?

Dean took a deep, shuddering breath before turning on his side, closer to the touch. Castiel's brows shot up to his hairline as he felt a minute tug on his Grace and he realized that, for the first time, he was communicating with his child. He sighed in relief, feeling the warmth spread through his chest.

"They're okay. I feel the baby." He said, his hand absentmindedly rubbing Dean's stomach. His face was stretched uncomfortably wide in what must have been a giant grin. Gabriel smiled as he watched, a soft look on his face.

"You're so cute in proud-daddy mode."

"Proud daddy mode?" Castiel looked up at him curiously.

"You're already so protective over your kid and it's so disgustingly heart-warming to see." Castiel couldn't help but smile.

"My kid. I have a kid." Cas bit his lip, some weird form of pride bubbling up inside of him at the thought. Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"Look at you, all glowing and shit. The excitement is pouring off of you. It's gross." Gabriel chuckled, resting his head on his hands next to Dean's side.

"Is it really like that?" Castiel asked tilting his head, his hand never leaving Dean as the Grace flooded into him.

"Yeah, It's really weird seeing you like this, you know. Angels aren't built to feel those kinds of things."

"If I recall, you feel a whole lot of things Angels aren't supposed to feel."

"Well I'm technically a free-lancer."

"If that's what you call it, then I must be one too." Gabriel chuckled, standing up.

"I suppose you are. Just don't forget that we need to be super careful now. I'm going to go back to Sam and I'll keep you updated with what's happening. Don't use your Grace after this unless I say it's safe, okay?" Castiel nodded and Gabriel took flight, leaving nothing behind but the faint echo of feathers.

::

Beautiful eyes were staring back at him when Dean woke up. The ocean blue of his irises was the most calming thing—It was safe and familiar, but he knew he didn't have time to get lost in them. He wasn't sure just how long he'd been sleeping, but he was sure it was too long if the stiffness in his back was anything to go by. Castiel blinked, his face lighting up in surprise.

"Dean!"

"If you want to call it that." Dean winced when Castiel took him into his arms, the angel not aware of the pain in his back. Castiel pulled away, hastily, looking guilty.

"Sorry, are you sore? You were sleeping for twelve hours. I know you don't sleep more than four most nights." Castiel spoke softly. The angel was lying on his side, facing Dean. Twelve fucking—Everything slowly started coming back and Dean made to sit up, but Cas stopped him, carding his fingers through Dean's hair once more. "Relax. It's okay. You're okay."

"Cas, what happened? I remember almost dying and then you. . ." Dean blushed, suddenly unable to escape Castiel's probing gaze.

"Do you remember what happened?"

"I don't know a little bit. . ." Dean lied. He remembered that weird mind-meld thing Cas did and Cas saw just about everything and that was more than a little to be embarrassed about, since most of that was stuff Dean would never admit to anyone—Not even himself. He especially didn't like the fact that it felt good. Even more, he hated that he almost wanted to do it again.

Nope this was definitely one of those things Dean needed to repress and forget about if at all possible.

"I was afraid." Castiel started. Dean was thankful that he wasn't going to press the issue. The angel pulled Dean flush against him again, gentler this time, and buried his head in the crook of the hunter's neck. "More afraid than I've ever been in my entire existence." Dean bit his lip and held the angel back. Cas had been afraid. It must have been pretty serious if even the angel had his doubts.

Dean snorted, pushing down the bit of fear that rose up at the thought of what had almost happened. "You know I don't go down easy." Castiel looked troubled for a moment before he spoke again, his voice somber.

"It's my fault."

"What are you talking about?"

"Because I put us on a sex ban and everything went to hell." Dean laughed, patting Cas on the back.

"Cas, this ain't 'cause of the sex ban—"

"It is though." Cas pulled away to look at him in the eyes fiercely. "The Grace I was having a hard time controlling was the only thing keeping our baby alive, Dean." Dean looked at him, confused.

"What?"

"The baby needs external Grace and you don't have it so apparently I must provide it. If I don't, it will try to use what is there, resulting in what happened yesterday." Cas spent the next few minutes explaining it to Dean better and Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"So basically I'm a damn chicken and you're the rooster that fertilizes my egg." Castiel made a face.

"Fertilizing seems to be the accepted analogy." Dean buried his face in his hands. He shouldn't have been surprised. Angels needed Grace after all. Dean was human so he didn't have Grace, so there really was only one viable alternative. He looked up, Cas's face was so freakin' cute though—worried frown in his forehead and bright, shining blue eyes. Dean went back to the worried part of that description, forcing his mind to behave because now was probably not the time to be thinking of licking the worry off his face.

"What's the matter?"

"We're in danger, Dean."

"What do you mean?"

"My Grace was exposed for what must have been an entire hour. Sam gained access to the Grace network and had been tracking my Grace for days now. I don't know just how vigilant Sam was being about watching it, but I felt an external force touching my Grace while I was performing the transfer. It was most likely Sam. Gabriel hasn't gotten back to me yet about it." Dean felt a strong sense of doom in the pit of his stomach, but he buried it and tried to hide his fear.

"Sam will find us." It wasn't a question.

"Most likely. Maybe it would be safest to leave?" Dean shook his head.

"No, Cas. We can't just keep running. You heard Gabriel's speech too. Sam's going to find us no matter what. Eventually we'll have to face the music so maybe the quicker we get it over with the better. I'm not getting any less pregnant here." Dean patted his stomach and Cas put his hand over Deans, pressing their foreheads together. Dean could feel their breath mingling and he blushed, his heart fluttering in that stupid way again because it reminded him of the mind-sharing thing they did and the warmth. "Besides, we're in a good place right now. I'm willing to fight for it, you know?" Castiel linked their hands together, smiling.

"I do." He said lowly. "I like this house, too, Dean." They were comfortably silent for a few moments and Dean thought back to how they'd ended up like this, that fight they'd had. Instantly, guilt ran through his spine and he tensed. He remembered the hurt and anger in Castiel's voice and definitely, definitely Dean should have told Castiel what had been going on with him and Caroline.

"Cas, I'm really sorry."

"For what?"

"For kissing that girl." He swallowed. "I may have wanted to make you jealous but I didn't want to take it that far. She figured it out and kissed me without my permission." Cas looked at him and Dean knew Cas would know he wasn't lying. The angel's face softened.

"You were trying to make me jealous? Why?" Dean buried his face in Castiel's chest again, refusing to look at him as he said it.

"Because you'd been ignoring me. You hadn't t-touched me in a week and. . . . Well, I don't know, I thought maybe you were over your crush on me or whatever."

"Crush?" Castiel thought for a moment. "That term is diminishing my feelings for you, Dean. I love you. It's not simply a crush."

"I know but I mean like. . ." Dean gestured to his body, suddenly feeling really self-conscious about the small expanding of his belly. "I've never been fat before so I mean. . ." Castiel looked at him curiously.

"Dean what are you talking about?"

"Look I understand if this is kind of a turn off, and I don't expect you to want to-to do stuff with me cause of it. It's weird enough to see a man pregnant but. . ." Cas looked at him like he grew a second head. Dean sat there, blushing.

"You think I'm not attracted to you and for this reason?" He gestured to Dean's stomach and looked honestly amused. Dean glared.

"It's not funny, Cas." Castiel smiled, kissing Dean softly before pulling back a fraction of an inch.

"Dean sometimes you can be really stupid."

"Hey shut up!" Dean said, affronted. Castiel started laughing. He put his hand on Dean's belly.

"This," He started, looking into Dean's eyes. "Is beautiful." His eyes were shining with honesty and it was so intense it made Dean uncomfortable.

"Seriously?"

"I've honestly never been more attracted to you, and the way you were behaving before. . . I feel like you've been seducing me." Dean rolled his eyes. Well no fuckin' shit! Truthfully, Dean was glad that his efforts hadn't gone entirely unnoticed like he'd assumed. He was also glad that Cas didn't find him ugly in this—this state. There was that. Cas continued. "With all of this distraction, I couldn't focus on keeping us safe. Holding you, touching you, pleasuring you—It's all I ever think about." Soft fingers curled along Dean's cheek, stroking it gently. The hunter blushed, pulling away.

"I had no idea. You 'coulda told me that."

"I thought it was obvious. You should know I have the hardest time staying in control when it comes to you. The only thing that was keeping me together was making sure you and the baby were safe." Their eyes connected and they were content with just that for a few minutes. Dean swore there were magical properties to Cas's eyes. He grinned at a passing thought of how angry he'd been at the bar.

"You looked like you were about to smite that girl."

"I was very seriously considering it." Castiel said, grimly.

"You'd smite her just to defend my honor? I don't know. I might have to give that girl a call. She was pretty hot. . ." Cas glared, narrowing his eyes. Dean smirked, realizing he'd have material for weeks. Cas was definitely the jealous type and it'd be easy to wind him up now.

"That's not funny, Dean."

"Who said I was trying to be funny? I haven't had pussy in months; maybe I'm craving it a bit." He also hadn't had Cas's cock in his ass in a week—Something he was craving just a little more than pussy, but like hell was he going to let Cas know that. Suddenly Dean was pressed against the bed, an angry angel glaring down at him with fire in his blue eyes.

"That's a lie."

"Why is it? Sinking my dick into a nice wet pussy sounds great right now. Maybe I'll give Caroline a call, after all." Castiel spoke through gritted teeth.

"You don't even have her number, so obviously you're saying this just to provoke me." Dean smirked, playing with the lapels of Castiel's coat, their lips perhaps two millimeters away from each other.

"But girls have been a part of my dick for so many years now."

"I don't want to share you." Dean smirked, raising his eyebrows up at Castiel.

"Maybe you need to make me forget about pussy, then." He suggested.

"I will." Castiel said, earnestly.

"Oh really?"

"Yes. I'll make you forget what fucking a woman is like." Castiel ground their hips together, allowing Dean to feel just how hot Castiel was getting. Dean decided he definitely liked it when Cas used dirty words like that.

"I'd like to see you try." Castiel kissed him then, the moan on his lips doing all sorts of things to the hunter and Dean failed to resist his urge to make some noises of his own. Had it really gotten to this point? That just a kiss could have him moaning like a slut? He ground their hips together tightly, making Cas pant like a fucking dog against his neck. Cas's strong hands pinned his wrists above his head as he sucked dark hickeys into Dean's neck, biting and licking and driving Dean crazy.

Women couldn't do that.

Women wouldn't push him down (most women, anyways). They always wanted to be the receivers and have Dean set the pace. But Cas. . . Mmm Cas just man-handled him, held him so hard he bruised and just fucking owned Dean so thoroughly. It made his skin buzz in excitement and he couldn't wait to feel the angel's body under his clothes, his slim thighs between his legs and his hot dick in Dean's ass. He wasn't allowed to be this vulnerable to anybody else and he craved it. He loved just letting go and letting Castiel set the pace.

"It's been so long since I touched you, Dean. Your body is so eager for me." Dean bit his lip, his cheeks burning scarlet in embarrassment because, yes. Fucking yes he was eager.

"Then maybe you should just get on with it already?" Dean felt like he'd been waiting a thousand years for this moment. He could feel those eyes on him, drinking in his body and probably enjoying just how red Cas could make him.

"We have to wait until we hear back from Gabriel. . ." Dean groaned, pressing his already hard dick against Castiel's.

"But look at what you did to me. . ." Dean could see the heat behind Cas's eyes and the mischievous little smirk playing at his pink lips and Dean grit his teeth at the arousal pooling in his belly from just the sight. Damn, this angel was sexy. Damn Dean for wanting him so badly, too, but he just couldn't help it!

"That isn't to say I can't make you feel good, Dean." Cas pressed their lips together again sensuously and Dean savored every lick and twist of Cas's too skilled tongue. Seriously the man was becoming too good at this kissing/sex stuff in a way too short amount of time. He was already learning every way to drag a sultry moan from Dean's throat, to make his hips stutter in anticipation. He knew just how to take Dean's breath away and Dean wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

Cas pulled away, his mouth quickly finding Dean's throat and proceeding to suck and lick and bite little moans out of it. Dean was too hot. It'd been too long since he got off and he was desperate. Cas was showing him no mercy right now as he sucked bruises into his neck and shoulders and he was secretly pleased beyond rational thought by this. Cas was marking him and that was. . .

Well that was just fucking fine with Dean, goddammit.

"Cassss. . ." Dean whined, wrapping his legs around Cas's back when the angel moved down to his chest and started licking and sucking his oversensitive nipples. "Shit! Fuckk. . . Cas wait it's too much. . ." Had his nipples always been that sensitive?

"Is this better?" Cas looked at him and Dean licked his lips at the lust in his eyes as he sucked on Dean's left nipple softly, his teeth scraping and biting gingerly and it was driving Dean crazy. Dean moaned low in his throat, feeling a fierce storm building low in his stomach. He took it back. Cas could suck his nipples any day of the week, for fuck's sake.

"Shit, Cas. . ."

"Do your nipples usually get you this aroused, Dean?" Cas said, tugging at one and making Dean's back arch involuntarily.

"N-No. I don't fucking get it. . ."

"Maybe it's because you're pregnant. . . "Cas started sucking again, flatting his tongue against one and roughly licking it and making Dean so hot, the hunter thought he might combust. He gently bit and sucked at it and the heat was pooling down so quickly Dean was almost dizzy.

Cas laved his tongue on the slightly abused bud before giving the same attention to the other one. Dean's pants were starting to feel way too tight and for one horrifying moment, Dean wondered if he was going to lose it just getting his nipples sucked.

"Cas, stop messing around. . ."

"But I like sucking your nipples." Dean rolled his eyes.

"I understand that, but I'm dying here and if we aren't getting off then I seriously think you should stop. I don't know about angels and blue-balls but it really sucks for humans. . ."

"I already told you I was going to make you feel good Dean. Have a little patience." Dean groaned in frustration. Patience was never his strongest virtue, but Cas just promised he was going to take care of him, right? He'd already waited a week; he could wait a little longer.

Dean was especially interested in the way Cas's lips started moving south, that sinful tongue licking every inch of his belly it could find. He kissed it tenderly and Dean blushed, still feeling self-conscious of the slight swell there, but Cas didn't seem to mind. He seemed to fucking worship it and Dean bit his lip, wanting to shut his eyes tightly but at the same time needing to watch his every move.

"Cas what are you doing?"

"Something I think you'll like." Cas's hand started to rub the quickly growing bulge in Dean's pants as his mouth trailed down the sensitive skin of his stomach, licking and sucking the whole way, pausing to dip his tongue into Dean's belly button and just licking and fuckkk. This shouldn't have been so hot. Dean moaned and rolled his hips against that insistent hand, more than ready to get rid of his jeans at this point.

He wasn't expecting Cas to start mouthing his clothed erection, sucking and licking at the denim in the most suggestive fucking way. Dean felt his breath fall short and stuttered moans were erupting from his throat.

"C-Cas. . ." He rasped, heat spreading to his chest because Cas's mouth for fuck's sake. Cas moaned around his cock still hidden by his jeans. Dean bit his lip, unable to tear his eyes away from what the angel was doing.

"You're already so hard, Dean. I haven't even touched you yet." Cas inched Dean's zipper down and Dean panted, his eyes burning into Castiel's and he suddenly was taken over by that overwhelming sense of want that he'd felt with Cas before.

"What are you going to do about that?" He said, playfully but still nervous. He kicked off his jeans and spread his legs, not taking his eyes off of Cas as he licked his lips. Those eyes were trying to devour him, he fucking knew it.

"I think I want to taste you. . ." Dean panted, his cock jerking at the prospect because yes, yes and yes! Cas brought his mouth to Dean's erection, the only thing separating his lips from cock were the thin fabric of his boxers. Dean blushed, sitting up because holy fucking shit.

"You're not gonna. . . Are you seriously going to. . .?" The tongue that started laving over the head of his dick through his boxers was all the answer he got. Dean would never admit to crying out and bucking up into the firm press of Cas's tongue, hot and wet and perfect, but he probably did. Dean ground his teeth when he felt Cas just start sucking and then pulling off, his eyes hazed over with lust. Dean bit his lip and forced his body to calm down because this was Cas. He was an angel and Dean was a fucking pervert for enjoying this so much.

"Look. . . Cas you don't have to do that. I'm fine—" Dean let out a not-so-manly gasp when Cas squeezed his dick tightly.

"This is not fine. Dean, I want to do this for you. . . I-I've been thinking about it. I saw a video once on the computer and this was done and I. . . I keep thinking about doing it to you." He's been fantasizing about sucking your cock!

"You were watching porn?" Dean liked to imagine that Cas's face turned slightly pink at the accusation.

"I-I didn't mean to. I was searching for a recipe on sausages and it just popped up in the results. It said, very deceptively mind you, 'How to prepare a big sausage'" Dean broke into peals of laughter and Cas looked mildly annoyed. "I don't find the humor in this, Dean."

"Oh my God. . .Sausages! Sometimes, Cas you are so. . ." What? Cute? Yes. . . Definitely cute. Dean wiped a tear from his eyes and pulled Cas up for a kiss before pulling back a fraction to speak softly. "So, you wanna suck my cock, huh?" He watched Cas's eyes darken and his face turn hungry.

"Yes. . ." Dean smirked, his confidence level soaring because Cas looked fucking delicious all self-conscious and utterly aroused at the situation at hand.

"You want to wrap your lips around it and lick every inch?" Cas moaned, his hips rolling into Dean and it was fucking sexy as hell. He might have felt a little power trip at how easily his dirty talk affected the angel.

"I-Is that what you want me to do?" Dean's voice was thick with lust when he answered.

"Yeah. I really want to feel that. . ."

"O-Okay."

Cas had moved down again, his hands plastered to Dean's thighs, massaging higher and higher, as he looked at Dean curiously.

"I don't know what I'm doing." He admitted, flustered. Dean smiled gently at him and sat up to run his fingers through Cas's hair gently.

"Just do what you want to do. I'm giving you a free pass to explore my penis. Let me know if it's fun or not, okay?" Cas swallowed thickly and lowered himself so that he was more level with Dean's groin-al. . . Area. Dean really needed to expand his vocabulary.

He was still wearing boxers and he idly wondered when Cas would take them off. He was still hard from the playful licking before and Cas's eyes couldn't seem to not notice. Slowly he pulled down Dean's boxers and watched it catch on the elastic band, his breath hitching just the slightest when it popped out and Dean grinned. Cas always seemed like a natural when it came to sex, but this was what brought him back to the fact that Cas was really inexperienced when it came to this stuff. Castiel barely had any experience with his own penis, let alone another one.

After the boxers were kicked away, Cas stared down Dean's penis as though he were having some sort of awkward mental battle with it and Dean laughed, Imagining Cas trying to read it's mind or something equally dorky.

"You can't intimidate it into doing what you want it to do, Cas. It responds much better to touch." Cas looked up at Dean, biting his lip adorably and a pink flush stained his pale cheeks.

"I know that. . ."

"It doesn't bite." Dean taunted.

"I am aware, Dean." Castiel huffed in irritation. Dean licked his lips, deciding that maybe a little preening would help Cas shift into gear. He spread his legs widely enough for it to be considered lewd and propped his torso up on his elbows, parting his lips slightly as he looked up at Cas through his eyelashes. It was at that moment that his cock chose to twitch, a bud of precum forming at the tip and dripping down in a downright filthy manner. Dean blushed when Cas licked his lips. He could see the rise and fall of Cas's chest get faster with each passing second.

"Cas? I'm dying here. . ." His voice was rough and way hotter than he'd intended it to be. Cas looked up at him, eyes almost black with arousal, never breaking contact as he lowered his body, taking Dean's cock in hand.

Cas's tongue parted his lips and he never broke his gaze as he pressed it to the tip of Dean's cock, licking up the bead of precum there. Dean sucked in a breath, not expecting that so suddenly. Cas moaned softly as he licked and Dean was suddenly worried about how hot he was getting so quickly. Would he even last five minutes of just Cas's tongue on him? He hadn't even sucked him yet. . .

"Jesus. . . Warn a guy." Dean breathed, his fists clutching the sheets as Cas continued clumsily caressing his dick with his tongue. Dean wondered briefly what it would taste like and his cheeks heated up at the thought of licking Cas's dick like that. . . Wrapping his lips around it and he groaned. Dean didn't know if it was out of embarrassment or arousal at that point and he decided that now wasn't the time to think, because Cas's tongue was running deliciously up and down the underside, pausing to lick into the sensitive slit before repeating and it was driving him fucking crazy. Dean groaned.

"Does it feel good?" Cas inquired, looking honestly worried. As if there was such a thing as a bad cock-licking.

"Shit. . . Yeah that's nice, maybe use a bit more tongue. . ." Castiel's tongue rubbed nicely at every vein and ridge and dragged slow in all the right spots (and the wrong spots). He was pulling moans from Dean he didn't even realize he could produce. Dean's hips were involuntarily rolling up to meet Cas's tongue now. Just being licked wasn't nearly enough, but he'd told Cas he could do what he wanted and he wasn't going to take that back. Cas's hands were rubbing him firmly at the base now and Dean hadn't even told him to do that. "Mmm Cas, yeah that's awesome. . ." Cas was pressing hot, wet kisses to the tip now, the kind of kisses that lingered and sucked and shit this was amazing. He just wished Cas would move on already and start sucking properly.

Seemed he didn't have to wait long for that, though.

Eventually Cas pressed the soft tip of Dean's cock between his soft lips and sucked on it. It looked so dirty since Dean knew Cas was an angel, inexperienced and putting a dick in his mouth. He couldn't stop the moan coming from his lips at that thought. He vaguely remembered telling Cas to watch the teeth before he threw his head back because it was all too much and Cas was taking him down inch by inch so very slowly. It was driving Dean nuts.

"Come on. . . Suck me already. . . "Cas complied, his fingers digging bruises into Dean's thighs as his head started moving up and down but he didn't care. All he knew were the vibrations of Cas's deep moans around his cock and the tongue licking just everywhere and the sucking and hot and wet and fuck. Dean was barely able to string words together between his moans. "Shit! Faster now, yeah. . . Mmm yeah Just like that." He couldn't stop from tangling his fingers tightly into that dark hair or fucking up into that hot mouth and Cas just took it because apparently he didn't have a gag reflex or a need for breathing. He was just sucking and licking and taking Dean so fucking deep and the hunter didn't even know English anymore. It was like his cock was caught in a hot, wet vacuum because Cas didn't really know what else to do but it felt fucking awesome anyways. Then Cas swallowed, his throat muscles wrapping around his dick tightly and Dean saw stars.

He was going to come. Not even ten minutes and he was about to lose it.

"C-Cas! Stop I'm—" Dean let out a wrecked moan when he felt himself spurting hotly into the back of Cas's throat and he just took it all. Cas was swallowing it like a fucking porn star and Dean's body was wracked with spasms and he couldn't even see anything, his orgasm was so intense. Cas, bless him, sucked out every last drop and Dean watched through hooded eyes, eyelids too droopy to open properly. He lay there on his back panting when Cas crawled up to lie next to him, gently rubbing his chest.

"Did I do okay?" He asked, uncertainly, wiping a lewd trail of come dripping off his lips. Dean looked at him for a moment before barking a dry laugh, rubbing his eyes into the palms of his hands.

"Were you a nymphomaniac in another life, or something?"

"Angels don't have other lives, Dean, and I'm certain my soul wouldn't readily choose to become a nymphomaniac if it had the option." Dean snorted and turned heavily to his side, allowing himself to curl up into Castiel's warmth. Cas wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer.

"Yeah you were good. I've never come so fast from a blow job in my life so there's that. . ." Cas tensed in the way that Dean had come to learn to know meant he was pleased.

"I'm glad I could make you feel good."

"What was it like?" Dean asked, his voice nervous because he wasn't sure how to broach the subject of jizz swallowing. It sent shivers of disgust up his spine at the thought of doing it himself. He'd never actually tasted his own cum but he was sure he didn't want to and he felt a spot of remorse for those girls he'd been with who'd had the balls to do it. "You know when you swallowed it. . . You didn't have to do that, you know."

"I didn't? But the adult video made it clear that that it was customary to swallow everything."

"Maybe in the porn world, but normal people don't usually expect that." Castiel leant in for a kiss but Dean pushed him away, making a scrunched up face. "You're gonna have to brush your teeth before kissing me again."

"Why?" Castiel asked, his eyebrows rising in surprise.

"I don't wanna taste my spunk in your mouth. That's gross." Dean shivered in disgust and Cas studied him curiously.

"There was nothing unpleasant about it, Dean. It was very arousing—" Cas's eyes glazed over a moment before his face flushed bright red, his jaw going slack. Dean raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"N-Nothing." Dean caught Castiel's jaw between his thumb and forefinger and forced the angel to look at him.

"Castiel, what did I say about lying to me?" Dean put a stern look on his face, making Castiel blush harder before he looked away.

"J-Just when you mentioned tasting your own. . . E-ejaculate I. . ." Castiel breathed harder and his eyes grew darker and Dean blinked a moment before it registered properly. Oh. . .

"You think me tasting my own spooge would be hot?! Cas you fucking 'perv!" Dean looked down and could see the straining erection in Cas's pants. "Wow you really think it's that sexy?" Castiel looked uncomfortable for a moment before speaking again.

"It's definitely exciting me sexually whether I will it to or not." Dean looked pitifully at the painful erection in Cas's pants before looking back up, ignoring the heat staining his own cheeks. The hunter's hand reached down and pressed firmly against it, finding the shape and rubbing it. Castiel pushed his hand away.

"I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm fine." Dean frowned.

"It looks painful and I feel guilty being the only one getting off here."

"Then I guess after Gabriel gives us the word, you'll have to make it up to me, somehow." Castiel's eyes burned with want and Dean wondered idly how Castiel became so sexual. . . Not that he was complaining.

"And how can I make it up to you?" Dean said, innocently. Cas growled, fucking growled against Dean's neck before sucking at his Adam's apple. Dean chuckled, pushing him away. "What kind of answer is that?"

"Dean. . ."

"Tell me what you want, Cas" Dean said, playfully. Cas pressed him back into the bed, his hips sliding between the Winchester's legs and grinding into Dean firmly. Cas gripped his ass firmly and pulled Dean up to meet his thrusts, not that he needed to. Dean was already eagerly meeting them himself and damn it if he wasn't already getting hard again. Dean leant in, letting his lips ghost Cas's ear before he spoke in barely over a whisper.

"You wanna fuck me, Cas?"

Cas's answer was hardly English. More like a garbled cry. It sounded wrecked and needy and Dean decided Cas sounded good like that. Dean paused for a moment before whispering again in his ear.

"I'm gonna let you, you know? I'll even go on my hands and knees and let you do whatever you want." Cas let out a muffled cry against Dean's neck.

"D-Dean—" Dean continued his litany of filth in Cas's ear, licking it every now and then and making Cas shiver.

"You can fuck me slow or fast, hard enough to give me a limp for a week. I don't even care. . ." Even Dean felt shivers up his spine at his own words. All he knew was he wanted to be fucked and he wanted it now and fucking Cas was here and hard and ready and shit. Dean's cock was already throbbing thinking about it.

"Dean... We have to cease this salacious conversation because the amount of control I have right now is very limited."

"You want it that badly, Cas?" Dean said, pressing hot kisses down the angel's neck, the nerdy words only turning him on even more. Cas only groaned in response, his hips working in tandem with Dean's and it felt fucking awesome.

"Oh my dad. Seriously, you guys couldn't last two freakin' minutes?" That was the ever-telling condescending voice of Gabriel if Dean'd ever heard it. Gabriel was leaning against the wall on the right side of the bed behind Dean and yep, he was pretty sure his heart leapt out of his throat right then.

"It was hardly two minutes. . ." Cas whined against a very frozen Dean's throat. He unfroze quickly and whipped around, more than a little enraged.

"W-What the ever-loving fuck, Gabriel?!" Dean scrambled to cover himself (and his renewed hard-on) with a pillow. "How do you even get in here with all the angel wards and stuff?!"

"Only Gabriel has permission to enter via Grace." Dean glared at Cas and the angel winced because he had to have known that admitting that would be a big fucking mistake. Jesus. And Gabriel had the fucking nerve to look smug about this!

"Nice to see you lively again, Winchester—Even if you are debauching my little brother. . ." Dean stood up, right fist balled tightly and pillow pressed firmly against his front and he didn't care if he looked ridiculous because he was going to punch this dick into next Tuesday. (he was still sore about that who Tuesday debacle)

"Yeah about that—Might have been nice to know about the Grace thing before it came to me passing out in the middle of the street."

"Maybe if you were nicer to me I would have told you sooner," Gabriel smirked. Dean sneered and Cas stood up, refereeing between them because Dean had just about enough of Gabriel's shit.

"What do you want, Gabriel?" Dean ground out, trying to reign in his anger as he hastily found and pulled on his pants while Cas blocked him from sight.

"I just wanted to tell you that Sam definitely knows where you guys are and it's up to you when you want to high-tail it out of here."

"We're staying." Dean said, firmly. Gabriel rolled his eyes and looked at Cas, crossing his arms.

"Castiel, Dean is trying to make decisions again."

"He's correct." Gabriel looked at him blankly.

"You're kidding, right?"

"I don't kid, Gabriel. Sam will probably end up finding us eventually and there is no way I can hide my Grace from him effectively anymore. Even if he does find us, I will not allow him to hurt Dean. You know that. Dean will only become more vulnerable as time moves on." Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"I doubt he wants to hurt Dean or the baby. The problem is when Dean pops, Sam is going to be all over that like Dean on pie, or Castiel. . . Or maybe Castiel on Dean on pie." Cas gave Gabriel a look like 'Really, Gabriel?' and Gabriel shrugged. Dean threw his hand up in exasperation as Castiel spoke.

"We still have a while before that happens."

"But he'll have won you over by then." Gabriel reasoned, certain as the sky is blue. Dean scoffed.

"Of course we'll be on our guard, Gabriel. I'm not going to let Sam or Lucifer yank my chain. When push comes to shove, I'll know what I have to do." Dean thought darkly that he hoped it wouldn't come to it, but he would do what was necessary to protect his kid and damn it, he just hoped Sam would snap out of it before then.

"Well I sure the hell hope so." Dean scoffed, crossing his arms.

"Wouldn't want your dad's little project going south, huh?" Gabriel actually looked angry at that and Dean raised a brow.

"No, Dean. You're family now and I'll do what I have to do to protect you and my little neice or nephew there." Dean didn't know what should make him more horrified, the fact that Gabriel was swearing his loyalty to him or that he just implied that they were basically related now.

Cas chuckled to himself and both of the other men in the room looked at him.

"What's so funny?" Dean demanded.

"Well, aside from Gabriel calling you family, I imagined our child calling him Uncle Gabe. It was an amusing thought." Dean grimaced, definitely not finding that amusing at all. Gabriel smirked.

"I kind of like that! Uncle Gabe." He echoed, grinning. "It has a nice ring to it, right?"

Dean gagged and Gabriel grinned and chose that moment to pop out of existence. Dean slumped down on the bed, trying not to think of his kid calling that dick his (or her) 'uncle'.

Even though technically he will be!

Seriously shut the fuck up!

There would never be a kid with more uncles than his:

Uncle Gabriel, Uncle Sam, Uncle Balthazar, Uncle Zachariah, Uncle Uriel, Uncle Raphael, Uncle Michael, Uncle Lucifer. . .

"Jesus fucking—" Dean threw himself back, groaning and Cas looked on at Dean's theatrics with concern. "Uncle Lucifer. . . My kid's uncle is Satan, Cas!" Dean said in an accusatory manner. Cas looked mildly uncomfortable. "Christmas dinner is going to be, literally, hell." The angel shrugged, sidling up next to Dean on the couch.

"If it makes you feel better, I doubt Father would want to have Christmas at Lucifer's." Dean laughed, ruffling Cas's hair affectionately, forgetting to be angry at him for giving Gabriel free reign. Eventually he sighed and laid his head on Cas's shoulder. They lay there in silence, Dean's thoughts changing from stormy to tranquil because he knew that there was no benefit in stressing out right now. Whatever happened was going to happen and he and Cas would have to take it as it came.

"Even with all the peeing and vomiting and cravings and shit, I still forget sometimes that I'm a man with a baby growing inside of him."

"I suppose it's difficult for your head to wrap around the idea, what with male pregnancy being impossible until recently." Cas smirked. "You're the proverbial eighth wonder of the world." Dean snorted and they fell into a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Dean couldn't help but think back to what Gabriel had said before they went out last night.

"It's a boy or a girl. . ."

"Yes, there are only two human genders the last time I checked," Cas said, expression completely serious. Dean smacked Cas upside the head for good measure anyways and looked up, meeting Cas's slightly irritated eyes.

"Smartass. I mean like, It already has a gender. This thing inside of me could either be a boy or a girl, you know?" Cas opened his mouth, probably to declare that the significance is lost on him but then he paused, looking thoughtfully before closing his mouth, looking like he just got it.

"Yes, that is considerably alarming when you say it that way." His eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Our son or daughter. . ." Dean bit his lip, avoiding Castiel's eyes. That's right. Dean was a dad now—or rather he would be. He'd already decided he was keeping the baby so it was definitely going to happen now. Cas looked at him curiously. "Do you want to know the gender?"

"No." Dean didn't even have to think about it. He knew that if he knew the gender, it would feel so much more real than he was ready for it to be.

He studied Cas's face, trying to read the emotion there but it was difficult. He looked complacent at best, but Dean knew there was a shit-storm of emotions raging through his oversized brain that he didn't know how to express.

"Hey," Dean said, softer this time. Cas looked at him. "What do you think about it? Do you want to know? It's your kid too," Dean admitted, swallowing the lump in his throat that the words had formed.

"I know that, be it a girl or a boy, I will love it the same amount either way. There is no real reason to know the gender. It doesn't matter." There was no uncertainty in those blue eyes. Dean smiled and, if you didn't know any better, he might have pressed a bit closer to Cas.

"Then a surprise it is. Here's to awkward Christmases!" Dean proclaimed, pumping up his fist in resignation. Cas's lips quirked up slightly before he leaned in and kissed Dean softly. Dean was caught off-guard, still not quite used to these non-sexual kisses, before he relaxed into Cas's mouth. By then, the fact that Cas still hadn't brushed his teeth was the farthest thing from his mind. Cas pulled back, looking warmly into Dean's eyes and the hunter smiled. His mind fast forwarded to how Cas would be once the baby was born; Protective, loving, doting. He would definitely be the best father.

In that moment, Dean wanted so badly to have this kid grow up with Castiel that it hurt. If Dean had died back there, then he wouldn't get to experience that with Cas and they both would never even know their kid. At odds as it was with anything and everything he'd ever known, Dean was certain now that he wanted this more than anything. This was his chance at a new start in his life and he had the opportunity to do it with one of the greatest people he'd ever known. Just how close had he been to losing it?

The feeling that overtook Dean suddenly was overwhelming and he was horrified when he felt his eyes start to burn with tears. Castiel looked suddenly concerned and Dean looked away as fast as he could.

Great, the fucking hormones have shown up to the party.

"Dean? Dean what's wrong?" Dean frantically wiped his eyes of the tears that fell regardless of what he'd told them to do. He discreetly wiped his face but he knew that Cas had seen him start to cry. He wouldn't mention it because he couldn't very well tell Cas that he was suddenly being suffocated by paternal sentiment.

"Nothing—Shit. Let's go make quesadillas." He couldn't think about this right now, or he might end up making a decision he'd definitely not had enough time to think about yet.

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