chapter 33

"Oh my gosh! A present? For me?" Tony asked excitedly jumping around a big green box with his name of it in the center of the room. Everyone shared the same wary look - no one sends a billionaire a gift for no reason. Especially not one as annoying as theirs.

Tony pulled the bow off the box and poked his head inside.

"AHHHHH!" he screamed and quickly fell out of the box and scrambled back as far away as he could. They all glanced back at the box and gaped as a gigantic 60 foot cobra rose from the depths of the box of doom.

"Ssssss...sssssmall man sssound like good sssnack," the enormous snake hissed as it slithering closer to Tony's shaking form.

"GUYS? A LITTLE HELP HERE?" Tony shouted. Bruce glanced up at the cowering genius and raised an eyebrow.

"Why? You look like you got things covered," Bruce said simply. They all froze as they took in Bruce's casual comment.

"Bruce where did the monster cobra come from..." Steve asked slowly. Bruce simply sipped his cofee and smiled devious.

Note to self - there is a reason Tony Stark can manage to be partners with a seeming boring Bruce Banner.

He can be an evil genius too man.

"Nice...ugly...cobra..." Tony croaked as the gigantic monster snake started making loops around his body.

"Remind me to get him something really nice for his birthday," Natasha whispered to Clint. He stared at the insanity before him.

"Um...Tasha...you better run..." he whispered back. The next she knew there was suddenly a large green tail wrapped around her leg.

"OH HELL NO!" Natasha shrieked as she was dragged into the air and hanged upside down.

"...sssuch a tiny ssssnack..." the snake said shaking its head as to stared at Natasha in the face.

"LET ME KILL THE NARCISSITC BASTARD FIRST BEFORE I DIE!" she shouted.

They all stared her.

"You're girlfriend has messed up priorities Clint..." Steve said as they watched as Natasha tried to bash Tony over the head with a dictionary while hanging upside down.

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT STARK!" Natasha shouted as she swung closer to get a shot at him.

"HEY! I FUEL YOUR ADDICTION WOMAN! YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT ME!" Tony shouted back as he ducked.

Silence.

Natasha narrowed eyes challengingly.

"Bruce if i promise to hunt down and remove every single tracking device and reports about your condition in SHIELD AND CIA records and long term archives will you personally design my firearms for me?" Natasha asked glancing at the calmer genius.

"Done."

"DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!" she screamed throwing random objects in Stark's direction with perfect accuracy.

"BANNER YOU TRAITOR!" Tony wailed.