Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Glee or any of the quotes/lyrics included in this story.
"He can't see the smile I'm faking and my hearts not breaking 'because I'm not feeling anything at all."
-The Way I Loved You
"Would you please stop staring at me like that" Rachel sighed, lifting a spoonful of rice to her mouth.
"We know something's up Rachel, Santana's psychic third Mexican eye is never wrong" Brittany pressed, feeding Lord Tubbington one of her shrimp as she continued to stare at Rachel suspiciously.
Ignoring the comment, Rachel took another bite of her food, releasing an exaggerated moan as she chewed. Brittany had talked her into ordering Japanese with her and Santana for dinner after classes. She had been apprehensive at first but as it turned out the local Japanese place was amazing. They should probably do this more often, minus the interrogation part.
"Well that, and we heard you fake moaning through the wall this past weekend" Santana interjected, a perfectly arched eyebrow raised. Rachel flushed under their scrutiny, shrinking a little in her seat.
"I was not-"
"I can tell a fake moan like I can tell a fake set of boobs" Santana cut in, narrowing her eyes again at Rachel. "Big lips not doing it for you?"
"You know what, I really need to be getting to practice" Rachel mumbled, eating the last bite of her steak and rice as she scrambled up to escape.
"Don't deflect, I've stayed quiet as long as I can. This is a new record for me." Rachel simply groaned in response, knowing that she was never getting out of this. "Going to see your friends?"Santana asked, acidic sweetness in her tone.
"Yes, I am."
"You know you spend more time in there with those guys than you do with your boyfriend. Isn't that weird? I spend more time with Santana than I do with you or the dance team. Isn't that how it works?"
"That's exactly how it works Britts. Unless you don't want to spend time with your significant other, or you're, I don't know, cheating or something." Santana turned her gaze to Rachel with a smirk.
"I would never cheat on you" Brittany declared, leaning her head over on Santana's shoulder.
"Oh I know you wouldn't. But some people find it a lot easier than others, I don't judge though."
"I am not cheating on Sam" Rachel sighed, tossing her empty bowl into Brittany's trash can.
"Is it because he isn't good in bed? Is he small?"
"Santana, I'm not going to discuss-"
"Offer still stands, you could experiment with me and Britts sometime, see if it's more your cup of tea."
Rachel took a deep breath, ignoring Brittany's enthusiastic nod at the idea. Though it was flattering, she had no intentions of jumping ship. If she was going to experiment with someone, it would probably be a handsome, messy haired friend with deep whiskey eyes.
Not that she had thought about it.
"I appreciate the offer, but I'm going to politely decline. Sam and I, we're fine. Just fine."
"Oh, oh okay. So um, who has been constantly messaging your phone the whole time we've been eating? You know, all the messages that you keep ignoring?" Santana asked, feigning ignorance.
"Were you looking at my phone?"
"Good friends snoop, it's what we do" she shrugged, never wavering. "Now you're ignoring Mangelina Jolie, why?"
"Rude. And I'm not ignoring him, I just don't really feel like talking."
"Just like you didn't feel like seeing him the last two weekends?"
"I did see him this weekend, as you so crudely pointed out earlier" Rachel groaned, walking into their communal bathroom to wash her hands.
"You saw him one night Rachel, one. Your boyfriend that you only get to see on the weekends, you had him over for one night."
"I was busy, he knows that I maintain a tight schedule. He didn't mind, and we can see each other this weekend, probably."
Brittany and Santana shared a knowing look as Rachel finally gave in.
"Okay, that's not completely true. Everything is just, I don't know it feels different now. It's not like "
"Would that have anything to do with the Frat boy teaching you how to use a stick?"
"I don't think so" she mumbled unconvincingly. "Sam and I were together for a long time, and I've shared so much of myself with him you know? He's good to me, and he's patient, and respectful, and I love him, I just-"
"You're not in love with him" Brittany finished, nodding her head. "I've been there. I thought I was in love with my last boyfriend, then when we broke up and I found Santana I realized that hadn't been love at all. This is."
Rachel could feel the love as she watched her two friends, smiling contently at one another and sharing a sweet kiss. In the two weeks that she'd known them, she'd learned that they were perfect for each other. Santana could be overbearing and had enough attitude for the three of them, but Brittany's sweet, open demeanor and innocent outlook balanced her out. They really did seem perfect for one another, especially in tender moments like this.
It made Rachel's heart clench to think that she never had moments like these with Sam. He didn't balance her out, he was more like the same person that she was in a way. There was no romance, or passion, in spite of their trying recently. He was a great guy, and she wished she felt more, but she couldn't deny that all of the romantic feelings had died, if she was being honest they had started to die a long time ago.
"I'm not usually one for the whole sappy, sharing feelings and caring crap, so I'm going to keep this short and to the point" Santana said, staring at Rachel as she broke away from her partner. "I don't think you're happy, and I think you know it, you're just comfortable and you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. You can't keep lying to yourself though, or you'll only ending hurting him anyway."
Rachel nodded silently, absorbing the words as they hit home for her. "Thanks San, I'll keep that in mind."
"Good, now if you'll excuse us, I wants to get my mack on" she sang, Rachel laughing as she exited the room, and made her way to The Playground.
She had fallen into an easy pattern her first two weeks of school; attending classes, having dinner with Brit and Santana then immediately going to shoot pool with Finn. She was actually getting pretty good. She could break the balls 'like a man' as he put it, and her shots were getting more consistent. As much as she hated to admit it at first, Finn's no babying technique was really paying off. She got super upset sometimes, but that's what would drive her to play better. He knew just how to push her and make her better.
Then again, he kind of just liked pissing her off.
"Finn!" she screeched, attempting to slam the butt of her cue stick down on his foot. "Give them back, now!"
"Nope" he smirked, laughing as he placed her keys on top of the light hanging over the pool table, completely out of her reach. Stupid giant. "You play dirty, you face the consequences. Or stare up at them, in your case."
"You're being a bad sport" she pouted, hopping up to reach her keys to no avail.
"I'm a bad sport? What do you call poking me in the ass with your stick when I bent over to shoot?"
"You have no proof."
"Oh, so I guess there's a homosexual ghost running around here" he said, rolling his eyes.
"You were being a jerk, I wasn't even going to get to shoot that game" she pouted. "And you should be more careful when you bend over, your butt was practically in my face."
"Weirdo, checking me out while I shoot. I should call security, my ass doesn't feel safe."
Rachel growled, rushing towards Finn with her stick as he ran away from her. She chased him around the pool tables, thankful that they were slow today or this would've been embarrassing. He continued to evade her, yelling "not my ass" as his long legs kept him a safe distance away from her. She barreled towards him, almost running into Puck as he entered the room.
"Whoa, what kind of party is this" he asked sarcastically, his eyes bouncing from Finn still covering his ass to Rachel mid-run with her stick in the air. "I didn't know you were into that sort of stuff Hudson, I'm sure the guys will love to hear it though."
Rachel laughed as she watched Finn's ears pink and his eyes narrow. She absolutely loved Puck.
He was one of Finn's old friends from high school, and it turned out that he and Finn were pledging the same Fraternity this semester. Puck really came through for them, joining the Pool Team at Finn's urging so that they would have their six members. It turned out that Puck was really good too, not quite on Finn or Mike's level, but he was a close third.
Puck was the first person that Rachel had seen manage to put Finn in his place, and she loved it. She had immediately liked him when they met, realizing that he was like Finn's twin, only even more crude. He had quickly accepted that Rachel was 'one of the boys' and treated her as so. Not many days went by that he didn't come to The Playground filling she and Finn in on some wild escapade that he'd taken part in recently. She had learned so much more than she ever wanted to simply by listening to him. It was cool, in a weird way.
"Finally, someone I can stand" Rachel sighed dramatically, grabbing Puck by the elbow. "Would you please fetch my keys for me?"
"Huh?"
Rachel tugged him towards the table, pointing up to where her keys lie. "Finn was being a jerk and sat them out of my reach. Will you get them down for me please?"
"Don't do it dude, she violated me and she cheated, she deserves it" Finn argued, coming to stand next to his friend. Rachel watched as they worked out some sort of complicated handshake before Puck finally looked back at her.
"Sorry Rach, bro's before hoes."
She gasped, crossing her arms over her chest in defiance. "I resent being referred to as a hoe, since I most certainly am not. And that's sort of a contradiction since you all have dubbed me as 'one of the guys'. That's like being a bro, isn't it?"
"Nope, not really, you don't have the equipment" Finn retorted, shrugging his shoulders. "You're one of the boys, but you're not a bro."
"I'm not sure I want to be a part of this mixed up system" she scowled.
"You love it" he grinned, poking her in the side as he moved past her to rack up the balls. "Wanna shoot a game? We could play cutthroat."
"I have no idea what that is, and I don't like you right now, so I'm going to sit out" Rachel sighed, attempting mental telepathy to bring down her keys as she leaned against the next table, behind Finn.
"Oh no, you sit on the other side" Finn instructed in mock seriousness, turning to her. "I don't trust you behind me anymore. She's a total perv dude" he added, looking to Puck. "Keep your ass covered."
"I'd like to keep that ass covered" Puck said, using the tone of voice alerting that there was a woman nearby for them to ogle. Used to it by now, she didn't even roll her eyes as both Finn and Puck stared at the pretty blonde girl walking down the sidewalk. "Did I tell you the nose-job story?"
"No shit, is that her?" Finn laughed, watching as Puck nodded. "Tell Rachel" he added, noticing her confused expression.
"So the other night I go to see this girl right; hot, got her own place, down for whatever. I had just planned on fucking her and getting my rocks off when I got there, but as soon as I walked in she pushed me against the door and hit her knees" he grinned, shooting Rachel a wink. "Anyways, just as I was finishing, she pulled back, and I shot all over her nose. You should have seen it, I tried to get her to let me take a picture but she wouldn't let me."
"Ugh, that's disgusting!" Rachel gasped, swatting at Puck with her hand in the poor girls' defense.
"Hey, she didn't seem to have a problem with it" he laughed, bumping fists with Finn. "Damn Finn, she's turning red. I didn't strike a nerve did I? You ever experienced that Berry?"
"I've done no such thing!" she sputtered wildly.
"Bullshit, every girl says never, but everybody knows things change behind closed doors" Finn taunted.
"Well I hate to disappoint you, but that's not the case with me."
"So you've never sang into the skin-tone microphone? Like ever?" Puck asked incredulously, her shaking her head no. "Your poor boyfriend. Do you at least have sex?"
"That's none of your business!" she squawked, becoming more flustered as the conversation progressed.
"So you'll have sex with a dude, but you won't give him any special treatment? Damn, he must not be taking care of you" Puck pressed, now watching her reactions intently. She flushed under both of their gazes, looking down at their feet to let her hair curtain her face. "You poor thing, come here and lay your head on my bosom" he cooed, pulling Rachel forward and rubbing her cheek against his chest.
She laughed, her initial mortification dimming at his gesture. It was a little ridiculous how comfortable she had become with these boys in such a short amount of time, she hadn't even shared the details with Brittany and Santana yet. Though that was mostly because she knew Santana would judge her, and they would try to give her a hands on demonstration of how things should feel.
"Stop" she laughed, pushing him away with her small hands.
"I don't know how you're making it with someone who doesn't give you what you need in the bedroom, that would be a definite deal breaker for me." Rachel said nothing, again looking down at her feet to avoid the conversation. Of course it wasn't that easy. "It's a deal breaker for you too isn't it?"
"Wait, what?" Finn piped in, both eyebrows raised as he stared at her.
"It's not just that..."
"You're really breaking up with your boyfriend?" Finn asked, stepping closer to them.
"I'm not sure...Probably."
"Cause he sucks in bed, poor guy."
"That is not it!" she squeaked, balling her hands up into fists at her sides. "I just, I don't really feel like I'm as invested in the relationship as he is anymore. We're in two different places now which doesn't make things any easier, and I can't really see it working."
"I knew it, everyone knows you don't bring the baggage with you to college" Puck said, shaking his head slightly. "These are the times you spread your wings and let your freak flag fly. I completely support your decision to move on, find somebody new to show you how it's done since the poor guy didn't know what he was doing."
"You're impossible, I told you it wasn't just the physical aspect."
"Whatever the case, you're doing yourself a favor. The single life is the best, we haven't been tied down in at least two years" he said, looking over at Finn conspiratorially, "and we're completely happy. No drama, no spending excessive amounts of money on chick stuff, and you can take somebody new for a spin whenever you want without feeling guilty about it" he finished, pounding fists with Finn again.
Men.
"I didn't even realize the two of you were having problems, you hadn't mentioned anything" Finn said, looking at her.
"We're not actually having any problems. He's sweet, and he treats me will and all, it's just-"
"He treats you too good. He's too nice" Finn mocked, rolling his eyes. "Isn't that always the case? That's why I don't do relationships, women are too confusing You're too good to them, they get bored and leave you. Be a dick to them and they cling to you then eventually flip out and try to kill you or something. There's just no winning."
"That's just not true, it's not like that at all."
"Don't start Berry, he could debate with you on that all day. Huddy over here has trust issues" Puck said, placing a hand on Rachel's shoulder. He released her, stepping up to the table and stretching to grab her keys down and hand to her. "Peace offering so I don't have to sit through this debate?"
She nodded stubbornly, taking the keys from him as she stared Finn down. A part of her knew that he wasn't far off in his assessment. Everything he'd said had been spot on in a lot of cases, though she would never admit that out loud, especially not to men. The worst part was the conviction in his voice when he'd said all those things though. He must have really been hurt in the past to feel so strongly about it.
"Fine, but you're wrong. Women aren't all like that, you just need to find the right one."
"Don't believe in 'Right One' crap, it's a joke. I'm more of a 'Right for the Night' kind of guy" he said casually, finally leaning over to break up the forgotten balls."I'm not gonna judge you for dumping him though. If you're not happy you shouldn't be in the relationship. You owe it to yourself to be free and find out what you want, don't you?"
She nodded, slightly taken aback at his words as she hung her keys around her neck. "I guess I do."
"You want winner?" he asked, effectively ending the heavy conversation.
"No, I'm going to go ahead and walk back to my room. Will you be around tomorrow?"
"You're leaving already?" Finn asked.
"Yeah, I have a lot to think about" she answered, waving goodbye to her boys as she left them.
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