Chapter 40

5 Avengers and 1 SHIELD director were finally shipped out of quarantine and locked away in a stuffy SHIELD medical room. They were all bandaged from head to toe and handcuffed to their beds. Bruce's handcuffed were made out of double plated titanium and even then there was a taser stuck to the wall just in case.

"When we get out of here – all of you are going to die," Fury muttered darkly from the corner of the room. Clint snorted.

"Director – frankly you did this to yourself," he said as he laid face first on his bed. The stupid mushroom removal process hurt like hell.

"When are we going to get out of here?" Steve sniffled into his pillow. Being in a room with Tony Stark for too long had negative side effects on the poor Captain. Natasha clenched her fists.

"We could have gotten out a long time ago if they didn't confiscate my gun," she growled.

"You know what this has come to right?" Tony said gravely as he glanced at the rest of his team and boss. All their eyes widened.

"No…" Fury said in horror.

"Yes…we must finally resort to the most desperate of escape measures," Tony said solemnly. He would regret this decision for the rest of pathetic life.

40 minutes later.

Loki stared at the Avengers.

The Avengers stared back.

He gave their mushrooms a pointed look.

Their growl told him not to push it.

"I will help – in one second," Loki said raising a finger. "BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH A!" he fell on the ground crying tears of laughter.

"LOKI IF YOU DON'T STOP LAUGHING WE WILL STRANGLE YOU!" Natasha shouted dangerously. Loki wiped the tears from his eyes – it was too much! They were covered in rainbows of disgusting fungus!

"I shall help you escape – under one condition," he gasped through his hysteria.

"And what is that?" Natasha asked narrowing her eyes. He grinned evilly and handed her a piece of paper. She took it warily and glanced down at the messy chicken scratches.

"Say it," he whispered in anticipation. Natasha went bright red and promptly handed Stark the note.

"YOU SAY IT!" she shouted in horror. Tony glanced at the paper and paled. Everyone read it over his shoulder and promptly took a gigantic step back.

"HE GAVE IT TO YOU RED!" he shouted shoved it back into her hands. Natasha growled and threw it at his face.

"THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I AM SAYING THAT!" she screamed at him.

"Then I guess you're all stuck here," Loki said with a shrug.

"SOMEBODY SAY IT!" Clint groaned banging his head against the wall. Steve took one look at the last hope he had of ever getting out of here.

"I WILL SAY THE DAMN NOTE!" Steve said raising his hand in the madness.

Everyone froze.

He truly was a hero.

Or someone desperate enough to do anything to get away from this insane group of people.

Steve took the crumpled note and started reading it with trembling hands. Oh this better be worth it.

"Loki you are the star in my dull sky, the flame that keeps my heart alive, the most handsome prince that ever lived, your black locks of hair roll down your shoulders like intense waterfalls of heaven. Your beautiful green eyes are like a deep forest that contains my gardens of Eden. Oh my god. I shall follow you to the ends of the earth and hogtie your brother and gag his big mouth with a stress ball so he doesn't follow us too. Nothing shall tear us apart except the burning flame of jealous passion? When does this bullshit end? I promise I shall stand by your side as you conquer the world that is rightfully – oh hell no. I don't make promises –" Everyone gave him the death stare. "-ALRIGHT FINE! I will be your bitch – oh my god – whether you want me or not. Until the ends of time you have my life, my soul and my holy pus -holy shit this is rated R!" Steve said in horror.

Clint promptly shot Natasha a burning suspicious jealous look. She glared at him dangerously.

"Don't even try Barton," she growled. Steve went ghostly white as he read the last line.

"…Oh no. Please don't make me say the last one," Steve said desperately begging Loki with his eyes.

"SAY IT!" they all shouted. They were so close to freedom! Take one for the team Steve! Die from embarrassment so that they could all live!

"…please give me a leash so that I could be your loyal groveling dog for the rest of my pathetic worthless human life," Steve sobbed through his words. Loki cackled like no tomorrow as he leaned against the wall. It wasn't even meant for the Cap – but hell was that fun to watch.

"Priceless – now jump," Loki said tapping the only reinforced window in the room and making it disappear. They all stared at him like he was crazy.

"You want us to jump….FROM A 3 STORY BUILDING?" Fury shouted in disbelief.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! The SHIELD base was suddenly on red alert.

Maria Hill burst through the door in a full body biohazardous suit. At least someone had brains in this organization.

"NOBODY LEAVES THIS ROOM UNLESS THEY WANT TO GET GASED UNDERSTOOD?" she said threateningly pointing her gas gun at them.

All their hands went up.

"Well that's my cue to go…" Loki said as he inched towards the door.

All the Avengers narrowed their eyes and shared a dark look.

"AVENGERS – GROUP HUG!" they shouted before they promptly body sandwiched Loki to the ground.

"NOOOOO THE MUSHROOMS ARE TICKLING PLACES THAT ARE NOT MEANT TO BE TICKLED!" he wailed in horror as he got attacked on all sides.

"That's just wrong people," Maria said in disgust as she stared at the weird mushroom/avengers/Loki mountain.

Nobody would ever be the same again at SHIELD.

A/N: And that shall be the end of the Adventures of wiggle shrooms in this story. LOL on to other crazy stuff from my imagination box! (It's a really cool box – be jealous of my box :))