The Loss of Smiles and Music
Still enjoying writing some dwarven tales.
This is an AU story. Centers around Bofur and his family. Please enjoy and let me know what you think either good or bad.
I own nothing.
Chapter Three
Bifur watched as the hobbit and healer hurried away in relief. Anything to help Bofur was much appreciated. It hurt to see him so vulnerable. Bofur was the caretaker of the family. He was the shield. Now seeing him unable to see or hear was painful. Bifur narrowed his eyes as he remained focused on his cousin.
"I'm here, Bofur," Bifur thought to himself as he continued to hum against his cousin's palm, "I'll take care of you. Just rest for me. I'm right here."
"Bif?" Bofur murmured softly as his cousin touched his face to let him know he heard, "Hurts, Bif. Hurts."
Bombur startled at the omission and Bifur quickly signed into Bofur's hands to ask him what hurts. It took a bit of time, but Bofur finally distinguished the signs and indicated his ears. He must be hurting badly because Bofur rarely admitted to pain and then only to Bifur. Bofur's tendency to do that was a leftover relic from his childhood when Bifur became his primary caregiver after his parents died.
"Aches," Bofur whimpered, "Feels tight and aches. Hurts bad. Make it stop. Please make it stop hurting."
Bifur exchanged a troubled looked with his cousin. Oin was gone and Bofur's face was showing his pain now. What to do? At another whimper from Bofur, Bifur removed his hat and the earmuffs and gently began to massage Bofur's ears as the healer had done for his cousin as a babe.
"What are you doing?" Bombur asked watching Bifur work.
"He's relieving some of the pressure," Dori described walking over and taking a seat, "Ori used to get earaches sometimes as a lad. I've done the same technique with my brother. The rubbing helps push some of the pressure out and releases some of the fluid trapped in his inner ears. You've done this before, Bifur, I can tell."
Bifur paused a moment to sign before returning to his task.
Did this long ago when Bofur was babe. He was very small then and had many earaches. Took me hours to soothe him when he suffered, but the massage was taught by healer. I know what do.
"Yes you do," Oin agreed walking over with a happy looking hobbit, "Bilbo found what we need less than a mile from our camp. We are all lucky that Halflings are so versed on plants and herbs."
"I already explained that we hobbits drink yellowroot tea all the time so I can recognize that plant easily," Bilbo pointed out blushing, "I'm just glad I could aid in some way to help Bofur feel better. It was you that knew his diagnosis to really help him."
"Of course I would know that. I'm a healer," Oin snorted, "I've seen this before, but you have been very helpful, Bilbo. I'll make the tea now. Gloin, boil some water for me. Keep doing the massage, Bifur. That was a smart move."
Bofur had settled some from his initial pain, but soon even the massage was no longer helping as he gritted his teeth in pain and curled in on himself with his hands over his ears. Oin hurried back with a cup of tea.
"This also has willow bark to help with the pain and l'theanine to ease him back to sleep," the healer instructed trying to help Bofur uncurl himself, "Come on, Bofur. Cooperate. Poor lad is hurting so bad he can't understand that I'm trying to help him. Try to get his attention so he realizes what we need him to do."
Bombur grabbed one of his brother's hands and placed it on his face. Bofur froze and trailed his fingertips over his brother's features.
"Bombur?" Bofur whispered as his brother nodded and then signed into his palm, "I don't understand. Brother, I don't know what ya want. Bombur?"
"My poor brother," Bombur sighed stroking Bofur's hair back before leaning over him once again, "Let's go slower."
Bombur signed again and then again. Bofur's pain levels were affecting his concentration to understand what his brother was trying to tell him, but he tried anyway despite the grimace of pain on his face.
"Drink?" Bofur asked as his hand was again placed upon his brother's cheek so he could feel him nod before he made another sign for Bofur to feel, "Help? I'm sorry. I just don't understand, Bombur. Nothin' makin' sense ta me. I can't concentrate."
"He's hurting too badly," Bombur groaned as Bifur frowned.
Bifur reached and had Bofur feel his features so his cousin knew he was there and then signed into his hand. Bofur appeared to be trying hard to understand as he felt his cousin's fingers before awareness seemed to flood his face suddenly.
"Medicine? Oh! Ya have medicine ya want me ta drink ta help with tha pain," Bofur gasped putting the pieces together as Bifur nodded against his hand again, "I understand now. Not real swift at tha moment. Pains makin' me all fuzzy."
Bofur uncurled and allowed Bifur to hold the cup to his lips as he drank the tea. A few moments passed as Bofur curled up again breathing through his pain levels as his brother stroked his back to try and help him calm. Bifur gestured to Oin looking tense and angry.
Bofur still hurts. Why tea not helping? Said it help. My cousin hurts. Make stop.
"The tea needs to enter his system more," Oin described as Bifur bit out a curse in Khuzdul, "He'll begin to feel the effects shortly. Just try to keep Bofur calm."
Bifur growled and then nodded his head. He and Bombur were beyond worried at Bofur's state, but finally the medicine seemed to kick in as some of the ill dwarf's discomfort dissipated and he sighed in relief.
"That's it, Lad," Oin encouraged as Bofur relaxed bit by bit, "You're going to be fine now even though you can't hear what I'm saying. It's going to be fine. Bofur should fall asleep soon enough. Just continue to keep him calm and still."
Bifur and Bombur nodded as they continued to watch over their kin. Bofur mumbled softly and sighed again.
"What is Bofur trying to say?" Bombur asked his cousin as Bifur shook his head, "Do we ask him or let him fall asleep?"
"He'll speak up if he has something to say," Oin advised, "Let him be unless your brother calls to you."
Bombur nodded and sat back, but he knew his brother. It felt like something was bothering Bofur. Bombur was correct. The problem that was bothering the ill dwarf the most was that he could deal with the pain and exhaustion, but Bofur was getting scared even though he didn't want to acknowledge the fact due to pride. He was scared at the silence that surrounded him. It was like nothing he had ever felt before.
"Bif, I don't like this," Bofur admitted as his cousin took his hand so he could feel him nod, "Tired. I'm tired. Don't like this. Bombur?"
Bombur instantly gripped his brother's hand as Bifur slid the earmuffs back on Bofur and then his hat to protect his ears. There was no denying that Bofur was completely deaf at the moment. His voice was flat and not at all like the usual tone he used.
"Don't leave me," Bofur whispered beginning to fall asleep, "It's so quiet and dark. Don't leave me alone."
Bifur looked troubled and took his cousin's other hand as Bombur gripped the hand he held tighter before loosening his grip to sign two signs that seemed to relax Bofur as he felt them.
Never leaving.
Bofur drifted to sleep with his kin wrapped close around him so he knew he wasn't alone.
"Tell me that that root stuff will help him," Dwalin blurted as he walked up to Oin, "A dwarf should not suffer like this. I don't like this either. Bofur's no complainer. If he says he hurts, then the pain is bad."
"The fact that the fluid seems to be shifting is a good thing," Oin sighed, "Now we can only hope that the medicines works. Bofur still may lose his hearing, but his sight should be fine once the pressure alleviates ending the headache that is causing him such pain."
Oin grunted as a rock struck his boot and all turned to see Bifur glaring up at them. He gestured angrily for all to see.
Will not lose hearing. Not allow it to happen. Bofur is smiles and music. Not survive silence in mind. Help him.
"I will do everything that I can," Oin soothed as Bifur grunted and returned to watching over his cousin.
"We know you will," Balin assured as the healer sighed, "I just fear that Bifur is correct. Bofur may not handle going deaf well if this does not turn out the way we all hope it will. He will fade if he feels isolated."
"Bofur will survive anything," Nori insisted from his seat beside Ori as most looked over at him in surprise, "He's lost his parents, cared for his little brother, and nursed Bifur back to health after his injury. He's done all that while maintaining his smile. He'll adapt. That is what he does. Bofur will not allow himself to grovel in self-pity. He didn't allow anyone to isolate Bifur when he was first healing and will refuse to be left out if he goes deaf. That is his way."
Bifur and Bombur leaned up to see Nori from where they lay. The two nodded at the middle Ri brother. Nori was correct. Bofur adapted to whatever was thrown at him. He was resilient.
"Then we will just believe in his strength," Thorin voiced as everyone nodded, "Let's hope the yellowroot does its job well."
Oin continued the regimen of tea and ear drops. Two days later, Bofur's headache dissipated enough that the blindfold could be removed. Bofur blinked a few times before focusing eyes on his cousin and brother and offered them a small smile.
"Better?" Bifur asked through iglishmek.
"Much. Also glad to see again. Hard to decipher signs with just touch," Bofur signed back since he had begun to pick up on the fact that he was unable to regulate the tone of his voice at the moment without his hearing and had grown completely silent out of embarrassment, "Tell truth, Cousin. What's wrong with me?"
Bifur grimaced and quickly explained the situation to his cousin as Bombur tried to hide a frown. The older dwarf knew that telling the whole truth would be the best for Bofur, but Bombur had wanted to wait until his brother was stronger. Bifur disagreed and thought his cousin needed to understand so that if he did lose his hearing, Bofur would be prepared. Bofur paled a bit, but nodded slightly as the news sank in.
"I see," Bofur gestured looking deep in thought, "You two look horrible."
"Been very worried," Bombur admitted as his brother nodded, "Feel well enough to lean up some?"
"Not too much," Bofur agreed as he was helped to rise and had some soft packs used to support his weakened frame, "Kind of dizzy. Not too bad, but enough."
"Drink," Oin ordered as he handed Bofur more tea, "Dizzy, how?"
"Buzzing in head," Bofur signed while Bifur held his cup, "Worse when turn head. Keep still fine. When this stop?"
"Not sure," Oin answered, "Fact that you can sit up a little and headache better is good. Drink the tea. Help make better."
Bofur sighed and drank the tea down with a grimace. He enjoyed ale more than tea. Oin then had him lean up against Bombur so that he could look into his ears. Oin frowned when he snapped his fingers and Bofur did not respond on his left side, but seemed to hear a bit on his right. Oin placed more drops into Bofur's ears and replaced the clean cloth in his ear canals.
"You responded to sound a bit in one ear, but not other," Oin admitted as Bofur nodded, "That is good. These drops block hearing for the most part. That means that your left ear was infected worse than your right. Let's me know which ear needs more medicine. You sleep now. More rest, better you get."
"Will I hear?" Bofur asked looking desperately at the healer.
"I hope so," Oin finally signed as the toymaker closed his eyes looking pained before looking up and nodding once, "Okay?"
Bofur exhaled softly and looked over at his tense kin before his eyes settled on Oin again.
"If Bifur can survive that axe then I will survive if I go deaf," Bofur decided, "Miss music, but there is worse that could happen. I'll not whine."
Bifur nodded and patted his cousin on the shoulder. Nori had been right. Bofur would not give up due to a handicap. Once the ill dwarf slept against his brother, Bifur stood and walked over to Nori.
How you know? How you know Bofur rally? You play as children, but I not remember you close to my cousin.
"We are closer than you think," Nori chuckled as Bifur and Dori looked confused, "We would play for hours to escape from chores. Bofur and I used to knick vegetables from the farm at the bottom of Blue Mountain as teens. Your cousin refused to pick up anything that hadn't fallen off the plant. He's no thief."
"So you didn't steal that food from the marketplace like I thought," Dori fussed as Nori shrugged, "Shame on you for leading Bofur into that habbit."
"He showed me the farm," Nori defended with a grin, "Bofur knew we were starving at that point, Dori. It was a bad time for all the refugees. The farm was a safer bet to get food than the marketplace since being caught wasn't going to end up with me losing a hand. Bofur's good people. Always has been."
"How you know he rally?" Bifur signed again, "I worry lose cousin, but you know what I not. How know?"
"Because he wants to be just like you," Nori stated making Bifur blush, "You were more his father than even his own since he lost his da so young. Bofur will survive because you survived what you went through."
Bifur grumbled softly before looking up to gesture some more.
Silly, Thief. Talk nonsense. Fool. Cousin step up to care for his little brother and then later for me when I first injured. Bofur better than I. Always better.
"Sure, Bifur," Nori smiled out, "Keep telling yourself that. It was no one else but you who practically dove under the hooves of Bofur's pony to pull him to safety when he collapsed. Plus, don't think I have never noticed that Bofur only admits his pain to you. He's still your wee cousin that you raised just as I am unfortunately Dori's wee, baby brother in his eyes."
"And don't you forget it," Dori hissed as he slapped Nori on the back of the head as he stood to walk away, "Fool is a good name for my brother, Bifur. You are wise."
Bifur chortled and turned to regard his two cousins. Bombur slept deeply curled around Bofur. Affection welled in his heart for his family. Nori was right again.
"Sneaky thief," Bifur signed as Nori chuckled again, "See much. See too much. Watching you. No more thieving near my cousin. He is honest dwarf."
"That he is," Nori sighed standing, "Keep him safe."
"Let's hunt," Dwalin urged as he shoved Nori towards Thorin, "Don't worry, Bifur. I won't let this one turn your cousin dishonest. I'm watching him too."
"Cause he adores me as a friend and won't admit it," Nori signed as Bifur snorted while Dwalin whirled to see Nori hurrying away.
"I don't even want to know," Dwalin groaned following the thief.
To be continued…
P.S.
The ear massage I mention is a real technique to relieve pain from an earache taught to me by a doctor. The ear drops and yellowroot tea is also natural treatments for earaches. I had a reviewer say that it was convenient that Oin and Bilbo knew remedies for Bofur's earaches. There is a note in some of Tolkien's works that note Tooks drinking yellowroot tea when a feast was being described. That is where I got that from. As for Oin, he is a pharmacist/healer of sorts and has seen many illnesses so it stands to note that he would of course know remedies for Bofur. Thank you for reading and please give me any opinions or suggestions.