Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Glee, or any of the lyrics included in this story.

"You never know what you want, and you never say what you mean. But I start to go insane, every time that you look at me. You only hear half of what I say, and you're always showing up too late. And I know that I should say goodbye but it's no use, can't be with or without you."

-from 'Here We Go Again'

The night passed slowly, but eventually morning came. Rachel didn't get much sleep, she couldn't force her mind to stop thinking about what had happened between Finn and herself. Any time she closed her eyes, all she could picture was the way he looked at her, the way he cradled her so close, his dazzling smile. It had felt like things were so perfect, impossibly perfect, like they were so connected. How could he just leave like that? Was that his usual manner, was all that passion and chemistry she had felt just another part of his game?

She didn't reply to his message, and he never sent another one. It hurt too much to even think about talking to him, yet at the same time that's all she wanted to do. She had never been through anything like this before, how do you handle it? Especially when the person is your friend, your best friend. Wrestling with her thoughts and tormenting herself was no help, but being respectful to his wishes, and mindful of her own pride, she couldn't mention it to Brittany or Santana. She was all alone in this, with no clue what to do.

The classes passed by quickly, most of them ending earlier than usual since it was the last day before Thanksgiving Break. Part of her was thankful for it, the other part wished that classes hadn't ended so soon, she needed the distraction. She threw herself into her acting course like never before, allowing herself to take on the character in the practice scene as a means of escape. It was freeing, even slightly therapeutic. Her professor, Ms. Holiday, had even commented on her performance, praising it and telling her that she couldn't wait to see her recital. She still hadn't decided on a theme yet, but the way things were going she was leaning towards heartbreak. No, that was too cliche. Maybe she could do something more interesting like, obsession. She could definitely pull that off. Maybe even insanity, as Finn had suggested what felt like ages ago, he was starting to make her feel crazy.

Finally at the end of the day, Rachel decided that it was time, she couldn't ignore him anymore. She needed to see him, to talk to him. Maybe he was confused, or scared, or maybe he didn't know how she felt. All she knew was that her heart missed him, her body missed him too. She needed to see him before she went back home, if for nothing more than to clear her mind. She took deep breaths and found that her feet had led her directly to The Playground. Walking inside she found that the room was mostly empty, save for a few random kids playing ping pong, a group of boys playing cards at a table, and Puck standing alone at a pool table.

"Hey" she breathed in both relief and disappointment.

"Sup Berry" he replied, looking up to her once he stood up from his position. "You look like hell."

"Gee thanks." She released a small laugh, rolling her eyes at his face. "Where is everyone?"

"Will's in some meeting, Finn should be here soon, and I think everyone else is gone home by now."

"Oh. Did you and Finn have a good time at your event this morning?" She felt slightly guilty for pressing Puck for information, but part of her had wondered all night if Finn had been lying about having somewhere to go just to get out of there. If anyone could vouch for him, it would be Puck.

"I wouldn't say fun, that time of morning is for the birds" he groaned, arranging balls around on the table in no real order. "But we got a lot of shit done, raised money for the Frat, so I'd call it a success."

So it was true, thank goodness for the small things. "That's nice. What were you all doing?"

"Not much really, me and Finn mostly did busy work while the older brothers took care of the business. Why do you care?" he asked, looking up to her with a questioning gaze.

"I always care about my friends' endeavors" she defended, crossing her arms. "Had I known about it, I could have gone and supported you all. I could have given a small donation or something." She blushed as Puck eyed her suspiciously, but eventually he shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh, sorry. You would've been out of place though, there weren't many girls there, much less young ones."

"Really?" She perked up a bit at that information, relieved to hear that Finn wasn't out flirting with his sister sorority's girls the morning after their night together. "Why is that?"

"We were at a golf club, it was mostly old dudes and former brothers. You're acting kinda weird" he added, pausing his shooting to stare at her as she fidgeted. "Is something up? Is it like, your special time or something?"

"No" she squeaked, closing her eyes at the invasive question. "And even if it were, we're friends, but we do not discuss that."

"Sorry, sorry. Trust me I don't wanna hear about it any more than you probably want to share. I was just wondering, since you're acting kinda squirrely." He turned back to his aimless shooting, reaching over the table to aim for a long shot on the nine. In the process of shooting, he pushed a little too hard, his hip bone knocking into the corner of the table. "Ow, shit" he scowled, placing his stick down. He lifted the bottom of his t-shirt, pulling down slightly on his jeans to inspect his hip for bruises. Rachel's eyes bugged as she saw the tattoo, an arrow pointing down reading 'I'm with stupid' pointing to his crotch area.

"The ladies love it" he grinned, pulling his shirt back down when his inspection was done. "No one gets on the ride without seeing the sign, guess you could call it a warning" he said with a wink, unknowingly making Rachel's chest crumble.

"Kind of like Finn's" she whispered, focusing on the balls on the table.

"Yeah...how did you know that?"

"He um, he told me about it once. A while back I think" she said dismissively, waving her hand.

"Wait a second...Rachel, look at me." She couldn't meet his eyes, she just couldn't. Instead, she picked up one of the balls on the table, rolling it into the corner pocket. "No, Rachel tell me you didn't" he whispered, walking over to look her in the eye.

The floodgates broke when she saw his questioning eyes, she saw the pity there. She really was a fool. A quiet sob escaped her lips as she leaned forward, resting her head against Puck's chest. One arm came up to hug her, but soon she felt him tugging on her elbow, leading her to the video game room, closed off from everyone else.

"You have to stop crying, I can't deal with that shit" he said softly, sitting her down on one of the plush chairs. He leaned on the arm of the chair across from her, waiting silently as she composed herself.

"I'm sorry. I, you can't tell anyone Noah, please. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone."

"God Rachel, I can't believe this. I mean, I can, but I can't believe you did it."

"What do you mean?" she asked, looking up at him inquisitively. He thought this would happen?

"Anyone could see the sexual tension between you and Hud, neither of you did a good job of hiding that. I just didn't think you would give into it, I thought you got enough of a warning just by being friends with us. You know how he is."

"I thought, I don't know what I thought. It felt like, there was just more you know? I thought he actually liked me, I thought I should make a move-"

"And you did, a dumb one" he finished, shaking his head at her. "Okay, that was harsh, you're not dumb. You just shouldn't have done it, you shoulda made him wait for it. He would have, he does like you, I can tell."

"You really think so" she asked, looking up intently at his face.

"I do. He's different with you, he's better."

"Could've fooled me" she sighed, rubbing her temples. "He walked out on me last night, he just left, right after" she whispered.

"Shit, did he say anything? Or did he give you the sneak out?"

"No, he wasn't that disrespectful. He told me about the event, and said he had to be up early in the morning. He told me to get some sleep, then he left."

"That's better than anything else I've heard from him, you can feel good about that at least."

"Oh yes, I feel just wonderful. He gave me a high five, see you later, after I gave him my body. No big deal" she said sarcastically, throwing her hands up in the air. "What am I supposed to do now?"

"Do you want to make this work?"

"Of course I do, I like him. I like him a lot" she whispered, looking down at her shoes.

"Then you have to fix this." He stood from his seat, pacing slightly as he spoke. "It's going to take some serious damage control, but if you're serious about this, it's fixable. God, I can't believe I'm doing this, I'm breaking like every rule in the Bro Code by helping you." He paused, watching as she too stood to approach him.

"Please, I'm your friend too and I need your help. You said yourself that you he's better with me, so you'll be helping us both" she pleaded, turning her big doe eyes on him. "What do I do to fix this?"

"You'd never guess it, but Finn is really fragile. He doesn't trust girls, like at all, so he gets in and does his damage before they get the chance to hurt him. That's your advantage, I think you might have slipped through his defenses, that's why he ran. He doesn't want you to have any more power over him, so poof, he's out. You're gonna have to show him that you care, but also that you aren't a toy waiting around for his whims. He needs to know that he can trust you, but he has to want to."

"Right, okay. So I should talk to him right" she deduced, pacing as well. "I should tell him how I feel, lay it all out on the table. If I'm vulnerable, it'll appeal to his vulnerability and he might open up, right?"

"Hell no. You're gonna toy with his ass."

"What?"

"Don't be a bitch about it, but you're gonna play it cool. He probably knows that the sex mattered to you, but you can act like you're not upset about it being a one time thing. Make him feel used. He's not used to that shit, it'll make him question everything, and draw him back in. Don't give him all your attention though, let him see that you have other options too. It'll drive him crazy, and force the ball in his court. He'll have to make a move, and if he doesn't, well...I guess it's not worth it."

"That's ridiculous, I'm not going to resort to manipulation. I care about Finn too much for that, I probably couldn't pull that off if I tried anyway" she pouted.

"You really are good for him" Puck said thoughtfully, placing a hand on her shoulder. "But you wouldn't be manipulating him, you'd be helping him to stop being such a stubborn ass and see what's right in front of him."

"I-"

"Oh, hey. I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

Rachel's breath caught in her throat as she heard his voice. She turned her head to see him, the familiar smirk plastered on his face, eyebrow arched as he eyed Puck's hand on her shoulder. He was standing about four feet from her, but it felt like so much more; everything had changed.

"Finally! Dude, where have you been? She's been trying to get me to play dance dance revolution for the last twenty minutes, you saved me" Puck said, not giving away any signs of the deep conversation they had just been having about the man he was working out a complicated handshake with.

She loved Puck.

"I'm surprised you hadn't already caved" Finn laughed, "she can talk you into just about anything."

Her cheeks flamed at his words. Was he implying that she had talked him into having sex with her, was he blaming her? He's a grown man, she didn't talk him into anything. He wanted to do it just as much as she did, that she was sure of.

"Right? Anyways, did you fill out your time sheet?"

"Yeah, just got it done. You ready?" Finn asked, again avoiding eye contact with her.

"Just about, I wanna run one more rack before I go. Won't get to practice over break" he explained, walking towards the door. Rachel finally spoke up when Finn attempted to follow him.

"Finn, wait." He paused, turning around to face her finally. "Can we talk?"

Wordlessly Puck walked out the door, giving them the privacy they needed. Finn stuck his hands in his pockets as he looked at her, his face a mask of indifference.

"What's up Rach?"

"I haven't heard from you" she said softly, tucking her hair behind her ears. She could remember a time when he might have done that himself playfully, or disguised as playfully. Now, he only stared at her, a cloud of awkwardness surrounding them.

"You knew I had an event this morning, and classes after that. I've been running all day" he explained, rocking back on his heels.

"I don't mean to come off as pushy, I just, I kind of expected to at least hear from you at some point today. I didn't think you would ignore me."

"I'm not ignoring you. I'm standing here talking to you aren't I?" he shrugged, making her blood boil. She had seen him be a jerk, and she had seen him be a womanizer, but he had never made her feel this way before.

"Finn, you know what I mean. I think we should talk about last night..."

He removed his hands from his pocket, breaking eye contact with her as he toyed with the cushion on the chair in front of him. "Listen, we both had a little too much to drink, we'd been playing around, and we made a mistake. Not that it wasn't fun, cause it was. I mean, it was great, but it wasn't supposed to happen. We're friends, we're boys" he said, taking a step closer to her. She bit back her anger and hurt as he gave her a small smile. "Right?"

She nodded in response, not trusting herself to speak. That would only go one of two ways; she would lash out and curse him, or she would let the sadness take over and turn into a sobbing mess. Neither of those scenarios were acceptable, so she kept her mouth closed tight while she nodded to him. "Right."

"So, we're good" he asked, holding out a fist to her. Rachel touched her much tinier fist to his large one slowly. She froze when the electricity shot through her at just the slightest touch of his skin. His eyes locked onto hers, showing the only flicker of emotion she had seen since last night, but it was gone just as quickly and he immediately snatched his hand away.

"Um, cool. So uh, any big plans for break" he finally asked, leading her out of the small space and into the main room.

"I guess you could say that, nothing too special though" she answered softly, rethinking Puck's words in her head. He may have been onto something earlier.

"She sucker you into playing dance dance? Cause I would've paid to see that" Puck said as they approached him.

"Screw you" Finn shot back, flipping the bird to his mohawked friend.

"You should get him to play Sing It one day Rach, he might actually impress you with that one" Puck grinned, not flinching the slightest from Finn's glare.

"Really" she asked, intrigued at the tidbit of information in spite of herself. She looked up to him with a questioning gaze to find him rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh yeah, he used to love to sing, we were even in Glee Club together. Your next birthday we're getting you drunk and taking you to another karaoke bar" he said, pointing a finger at Finn before turning back to her. "Once in high school, we went out to some shady karaoke place in town, and Finn got so wasted we talked him into getting on stage and singing S&M by Rihanna. It was fucking hilarious."

Rachel giggled behind her hand at the information as well as the deep shade of red his cheeks had turned. Well, that certainly explained the music notes laced into his tattoo.

"Ancient history dude, thanks for bringing it up" he mumbled. "And that's a negative on my next party, you keep this up and you might not even be invited."

"Bullshit, you wouldn't dream of having a party without me. I'm your wing man, you need me" he said, shooting Rachel a subtle wink.

"I never knew you sang Finn" she said, peeking up to look at him.

"Cause I don't, not anymore. You ready to go now" Finn asked, dismissing the subject. He narrowed his eyes at Puck before stepping into the bay to grab his things. As soon as his back was turned Puck mouthed to her I'll explain later. Rachel nodded silently, eager to hear all about the history of Finn being in a glee club, it sounded like a foreign concept.

"Yeah, yeah calm your tits Hudson." Puck called as he placed his stick up on the wall. "Have a good break Rachel" he said walking over to Rachel and sticking out his hand, wiggling his fingers until she joined in. She giggled at the childish handshake, Puck sticking his tongue out at her. She was so thankful for him, he was a great friend.

"You too Noah, be good. I don't know why I'm even telling you that, I'm sure you're going to come in with some sort of crude sexual story about your escapades" she said, rolling her eyes.

She looked over at Finn, standing just a few feet away. Rachel wondered if he was going to offer her some sort of goodbye too. Tentatively she took a step towards him, and he held his fist out to her yet again. She gave him a tight smile as she brought her fist up to his, fighting the ever present tingles before they both pulled their hands back and opened them in a fake explosion.

"See you later Rach" he said, nodding his head to her before he and Puck made their way out.

She stayed rooted to the spot as she watched the two of them leave. It hurt to watch him walk away again, to feel like a victim. She didn't want to be that girl, the one who got wronged by a boy and sat in her room watching sad movies and eating ice cream. She didn't want to be whiny and sob to herself at night over love lost. No, what she wanted, was Finn, plain and simple. She knew down in the depths of her heart that he felt it too, and she wanted him to accept it. She wanted him to miss her, she wanted him to love her.

Rachel was brought out of her thoughts as Will walked into the room, a stack of papers in hand. "Hey Rachel, just get done practicing?"

"Um, no, sort of" she mumbled, pulling her phone out of her pocket.

"Oh, um, okay. Well I was actually just coming back here to close up for break, so you're gonna have to cut it short. Have a nice break okay" he said, giving her a gentle smile.

"You too Will, I'll see you next week" she said, returning his smile as she walked out of The Playground. She unlocked her screen and searched through her contacts until she found Puck's number, composing her message.

About that damage control thing, I'm going to need some pointers...but I'm in.

Thank you for reading, and for all of your support! I hope you are still enjoying! Please feel free to review, they make my day/night!