Chapter Two: Existence

I suppose I now owe you an explanation for that drastic action. The best way to do that is to return to the beginning of my story—the beginning of my existence—for it was one of the main reasons why I was who I was, and why I did what I did.

~(*)~

It all began on Conventia, at the Great Assigning for Operation Impending Doom II. I did not exist for the actual assigning, but I heard about it vaguely later on. It had been the assigning of the Invaders, an elite branch of the Irken military, to the planets they would conquer. While I do not know this for sure, I can safely assume that Zim only got assigned a planet through desperate begging and obnoxious pleas. That was how he always got what he wanted. However, as I said before, I know that he was never really considered an Invader by the Tallest, nor any Irken for that matter. While I eventually figured it out through the Tallest's obvious loathing expressions and their lack of enthusiasm for his "mission," the first time I actually noticed it was when he received a large package that was labeled: "To: Zim." Had Zim been a real Invader, it would have been labeled: "To: Invader Zim." However, I had not paid much attention to that detail at the time, seeing as the package contained a Megadoomer. But as I continued to notice the Tallest's behavior towards him, that label slipped back into my mind, and it became one of the first pieces of evidence I had for my theory.

Anyways, back to my story. Despite it all, Zim was still assigned a planet, whose name he later discovered was Earth. After receiving their assignments, all of the Invaders were given a Standard Issue Information Retrieval unit, also called a SIR unit. These robots do exactly what their name implies: gather information; although I did hear Zim later mention that they could also be used as a thermos. They also do any other tasks that help their masters with their mission. However, to summarize what they are in one word, they are robots. They are about the height of a human toddler when standing, and they have silver bodies and red eyes. Every Invader received one, as they provided vital assistance to their masters. Even Zim got one; however, his was different. His was me.

I am no normal SIR unit. In fact, I prefer to think of myself as a completely different entity. I am unique. I have feelings and a personality, even if it is a fake and shallow one that I use to hide my true self. Then again, I guess that makes me even more complex, and therefore more individualistic. If I can create a fake personality for my true self to hide behind, I must be an intelligent, unique life form, with free will and a mind of my own. Indeed, the only way I survived through life for seven years was by telling myself that. Even though it might have just seemed like a lifeline for most of my existence, I stood by that statement until the day I died. During my life, I was a living entity, and nobody could take that truth away from me.

However, that had not been the intention of the Tallest when they made me. They had not meant to create such a unique being. All they had known was that they did not want to give Zim a fully-operational SIR unit, seeing as his "mission" was a lie. So, they made me out of scraps of metal that they got from a garbage can. Purple, or at least I think it was him, put some random nick-knacks from his pocket into my head, and then threw me on the ground in front of Zim. I waited several moments before getting up, even though I was already awake. I had been hoping that they would think I was not operation, and would cast me aside to be left in peace.

I actually awoke sometime during my assembly. I did still retain some aspects and equipment of SIR units, allowing me to have knowledge of their kind. I quickly discovered what I was designed to look like, but I knew that I was different than the rest of them. I knew that I was not supposed to express emotions, or to even be capable of feeling them, for that matter. Still, I already felt miserable and sad. How could I not be? I was made from garbage and thrown together in a minute's time. I was not built with any real expectations in mind. I was only made to uphold a lie created by some moronic rulers, who's only claim to power was their height. I meant nothing to them. They only saw me as a tool they could use for their benefit.

The moment I realized I was different, I knew that I had to dispose of the label of a SIR unit. That is why when I stood up and looked at Zim, I said, "GIR, reporting for duty!" I made sure to keep the name close enough to SIR, so as not to cause suspicion.

Now that I think about, it seems strange that I was created for Zim, a person whom I hated my whole life. I guess I really should have thanked him; for without him, I never would have been alive. I know that I should at least not hate him. Despite all of the yelling and trouble he gave me during my life, he did keep me. I was the little misfit who destroyed and tampered with everything, who was so loud and irksome. I can honestly say that I am surprised that he did not kick me out of the base or blow me up at some point.

But at the same time, I lived a horrid, miserable existence. Why should I thank anyone for creating me, if that was how I had to live my entire life? Not to mention, sometimes I wish he had just destroyed me or kicked me out, for living with an incompetent idiot like him just made my death wish even stronger. Indeed, I shall forget gratitude, for misery is more abundant.