Chapter 44. What if…

Part two

Garfield paced along their room. Trying to think of what could have possibly happened to Meliah. The outing had been innocent enough. After a few minutes of racing, flanking each other, they had finally reached the edge, overlooking the almost frozen river, at the same time. Grinning at each other as best as wolves can grin.

They turned back to their human forms and sat down, still panting from the exertion and neither spoke until they had caught their breaths. Garfield was the first one to break the silence.

"What you thinking M?" he asked when he noticed her in thoughtful silence. She sighed before answering.

"Everything and nothing in particular"

"Like what?" he asked with a smile, trying to get her to talk and she knew it, she just didn't know if she should.

"Like I'm running low on my medication, I need a refill soon. I also need to get more clothes, I swear every time Raven looks at me, I feel like she's barely stopping herself from ripping my clothes off and me along with it."

Garfield laughed at that. "I don't think she minds anymore. She knows is a necessity"

"I guess you're right. Its better than me being stark naked every time I shift. She definitely wouldn't like that"

"I guess not. But what about your medication. I thought that was only to keep your wild side under control"

"No, she only affected my mood. She thrived in the adrenaline and quite honestly, so did I. The medicine is to slow down my metabolism. It runs at a staggering rate, even when I'm passive"

"Its that why your powers are giving you trouble?" he asked with honest concern. Meliah looked away. She was stalling, he could tell she was trying to choose her words carefully. It started to worry him.

"In a way" was all she said, still looking away.

"C'mon M, its me, Gar-Gar. You know you can tell me anything" he said with a smile and Meliah giggled at the pet name.

"I thought you hated it when I called you that"

"But that never stopped you from calling me that and you still told me what you were thinking… tell me, its this about Michael?" that got her attention.

"What a bout him?"

"I don't know, you looked distant, maybe sad after you talked to him. Did he hurt you in any way? Because I swear I'll hunt him down. Punch first, ask questions later"

Meliah allowed another smile. It was so endearing of him to still want to defend her. "Gar, regardless of your every day job, you're not a violent person. And well, he just… couldn't stay. That's all"

"You wanted him to stay?" Garfield asked softly. Not judging, just honestly curious.

"Yes. I did. He's just… different and passionate and actually very sweet once you get to know him" Garfield scuffed despite himself, gaining a mild glare from his friend.

"I'm sorry M, but to me, the guy is just a pain in the neck and all you girls did was feed his ego"

"Wow, aren't you cute when you're jealous?" Meliah mocked and rolled her eyes at him, while pulling her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Garfield thought he saw her shiver.

"Well its true. Even Raven was on his side" he complained.

"And I think that's why he left…he's smitten with her… no reason to stay around for me" Meliah said quietly, looking at the river again. A sad expression crossed briefly over her features.

"Well, M, I think he might have left for an entirely different reason. Besides, even if he comes back, he'll have no chance with my… fiancé" he said with a shy smile and when she looked at him he was actually blushing.

"Really? She finally said yes?… Gar that's great!, congratulations… when did this happen?" she said and grabbed his hand. It was warm despite the cold weather. And he noticed hers. They were cold.

"Right before you crash landed in front of us, which reminds me, you're not feeling good, perhaps we should get back to the monastery. You look cold" he said not being able to hide his concern.

"Nonsense. Are you going to tell me you don't get cold after a while in this weather conditions?" she said while trying to take her hand away but he stopped her and grabbed her with both his hands.

"No M.. I don't get cold…ever. You shouldn't be able to either"

"Well, maybe I just have more cold blooded animals in me than you and I just need some more exercise to warm up again. What do you say Gar, lets fly over the river. Maybe I can catch a fish or two. I need some real meat"

She was about to leave when Gar stopped her. "M, what if you're coming down with something. You should not be flying like that if you're not feeling good"

"Nonsense… lets go" she said and pulled her hand and jumped off the cliff, soon enough, an eagle spread its wings and was flying close to the edge. He followed suit and both glided down the water again, but as they were making their way back up, she felt unbalanced, unfocused and numb. She tried to fight it but she was falling again before she knew it. Gar had been ahead and noticed too late when Meliah was falling, unconscious towards the wall of ice and rocks.

…

…

"Gar, calm down, it wasn't your fault" said Raven soothingly. She was sitting on the bed in their room while he kept on pacing back and forth.

"Rae, I knew she wasn't feeling good and I still did nothing to stop her from jumping"

"She's with Cyborg now, he'll run the necessary tests to find out what's wrong with her, maybe its just a case of a mild cold like you did once before, remember? You lost control of your powers the entire time and every time you sneezed, you turned into something different."

"But I never was not able to turn into anything though. She's shifting back without her being able to control it"

"Everyone is different Gar, maybe she's just exhausted"

"I hope you're right. I don't like what's happening to her though"

"I know you don't. But she's in good hands now. Cyborg said she was stable. Her bruises where superficial and she should wake up by morning if not before so there is no point for you to be sleep deprived. Cyborg will let us know if anything is amiss."

…

…

Cyborg stood there, patiently waiting for the girl to calm down. He was not alarmed at her reaction, he didn't even winced when she threw the equipment against the wall and was even expecting the others to barge in after hearing the loud noise despite his earlier warning of not coming in until he had run the tests. Thankfully, no one came.

Meliah took a deep breath, still facing the wall, looking stoically at the pieces scattered in front of her. And despite the effort of using an unnecessary amount of force to throw the piece of equipment, she was calm. The rush of her actions reminded her of strong she can be and smiled to herself for a split moment before hearing Cyborg's quiet voice behind her.

"Meliah, you cant run away like that. You know you don't want to hurt Beast Boy that way"

"What did you find?" she whispered, ignoring his taunting, turning slowly to face him with no expression to betray what she was really feeling.

"Your blood… it seems like its no longer compatible with the rest or your metabolism which is working overtime… its been working overtime. The strain you put your body under every time you shift, not mentioning the stress and the load of drugs you have been submitted to has played a major role but…"

"How advanced?" Meliah interrupted. Cyborg sighed.

"Fifty, perhaps sixty years Meliah, I need to know what kind of drugs they were and why"

Meliah walked and sat back on the bed, distracted by the numbers running thru her head before answering.

"Why? Because Alec is a sadistic bastard. Once he discovered that no amount of sedatives alone could contain me, he decided to go heavy. Find out how much I could resist until he found my breaking point…"

"That's when the wild side emerged, or demon, whichever way you want to call it. I was so far gone, vulnerable and numb that when she took over, I felt my insides run twice as fast… as if before wasn't fast enough. And as far as what kind? A mixture of things. Cocktails of everything he found at his disposal"

Cyborg run a hand over his face and dragged his hand all the way to the back his head and rubbed the back and the side of his neck in frustration.

"When did you find out? Did you speak with Dr Stone behind my back?"

"Only after I found certain discrepancies. Right after your… exorcism. I spoke in length with him after you guys left yesterday morning. Meliah… all possible results say there are only two ways to save your life."

"I know Cyborg I've been aware of it for years. And both require constant donors… I am not about to submit anyone to that"

"Meliah, if Beast Boy is the source then…"

"That's only in theory Cyborg. The samples of his blood that I used on myself were raw… were in the beginning stages of the mutation of his system with the drug his parents created and the Sakutia virus that was eating at it."

"The drug was created specifically for him. We might have had the same type of blood at some point and that's why my system didn't reject it but in his case, there is a constant balance, a constant reason to be working around the clock, because technically, he still carries the virus and the drug fights it off, but in my case, there was no such infection so of course it was going to make my metabolism work extra for virtually nothing"

"Meliah, there is also the possibility of you becoming pregnant. My dad said it would be a more natural way to provide you with a more compatible donor"

"Never!… . I've been the guinea pig Cyborg. Do you think I would submit a child of mine to that torture? Or that Gar would allow it?" said Meliah, raising her voice.

"I'm sorry… I'm speaking from a scientific point here. But you're right. No child should be submitted to that kind of treatment. Even if that was the case, the strain alone of carrying it in your womb would probably accelerate the damage"

Meliah leaned back on the pillow with her arms crossed. Cyborg walked closer to her and placed a single sheet over her body when he notice goose bumps on her skin. They were silent. She observed his worried expression all the while and when he sat down on the chair next to her bed she added.

"Its all in theory Cyborg. There is no telling if the baby would survive even the first three months. Let alone the entire gestation"

"Even so Meliah. Beast Boy has to know that there is a slight possibility that he might be…"

"No! … Cyborg… all these possibilities are just that, mere speculations and huge "what ifs" … there is no guarantee that any of it would work, so why would you want to raise his hopes , all to find out it was useless while watching me die in the process. So I ask you now… why would you want to put him thru that?"

"Meliah…"

"When he thought I died all those years ago, it had been straight to the point. He didn't see me suffer, he didn't see me cry. He accepted my fate as well as he did with his parents. Painful… yes, but eventually, he recovered enough on his own. You're asking me to tell him to watch me die, every step of the way…Now tell me, how is that fair for him?…" her features softened when she saw the towering man look away to hide his own tears and continued quietly.

"They're finally engaged. He smiled like he used to when we were kids. So carefree, so full of hope and joy. He's really crazy about Raven and I can tell she's crazy about him as well… I don't want to ruin any of that. Not with my declining health or a possible…" she trailed off, the idea more and more painful as she let it sink in but tried to keep herself calm.

"So, you don't expect it to survive?" Cyborg asked and he thought he saw a faint frown cross her features when she was about to answer so instead, she shook her head while slowly moving to the side where she found the IV still hanging. She grabbed it and carefully placed it back in her arm, wincing slightly at the faint prick then settled more comfortably and right before she let sleep take over she asked once more.

"Please, don't tell him… not yet at least." her eyes felt heavy but was fighting back the effect of the sedatives until she got the answer she was looking for. Cyborg came closer and gently took her hand.

"For now… but the moment I see I need him to intervene I wont hesitate to tell him everything… don't think I'll give up on you…I'll find a way to find a cure."

"Thank you" she whispered and Cyborg saw a faint smile lift the corners of her mouth before drifting into sleep.