One and a half hours later they were on the couch under Reid's duvet, (Reid hadn't wanted to get out of bed for dinner so Morgan had scooped him up, duvet and all, and dumped him on the couch.) with the corpses of two half devoured meat feast and vegetable pizzas bleeding into their cardboard coffins on the coffee table alongside two empty bottles of Budweiser (both Morgan's).
Game of Thrones was pretty good, Morgan had to admit. He especially liked white haired dragon girl and the wisecracking dwarf man. And it was made all the better for having Reid snuggled under his arm, their shared body heat so intense he'd had to take his hooded sweatshirt off and drape it over the back of the couch. Reid, having seen GoT already, kept glancing at him to see his reaction to his favourite parts.
The scenes with Renly and his knight Loras were particularly...engaging considering what they had just done. For Reid too apparently as he turned Morgan's face towards him and started kissing him, one hand rubbing his thigh under the covers.
"Excuse me my liege but it's hard to watch this when you're feeling me up." He grinned. "For God's sake Reid that was ten seconds of implied blowjob. I really need to introduce you to actual porn some time. It'll blow your mind."
Reid just said "Mmmm." and felt around for the remote to pause the TV, accidentally mistaking Morgan's crotch for it a few more times than was necessary. Then he chucked the remote down the other end of the couch, wrapped his arms around Morgan's neck and pulled him down on top of him for a make-out session. Reid was even more excited by the small sex scene than he'd let on. He was practically clawing at his shirt as they kissed and arching his upper body up against him just slightly every few seconds. Oh and the great big hard-on was a subtle clue.
"This medieval fantasy shit really gets you going, huh?" he smirked, teasing Reid's neck with his teeth.
"Why d'you think I made you watch it with me?" Reid murmured with a smile, drawing his knees up to squeeze Morgan's body closer against himself. "It always made me think about you..."
This information caused a growing erotic tension take up residence at Morgan's core. Resting his left arm on the couch cushion beside Reid and grabbing the arm with his right hand he pulled himself up towards it jerkily, grinding his hardening crotch area against Reid's, repeating the motion until Reid started looking flushed and incredibly uncomfortable (which meant he was enjoying it). He pushed Reid's shirt up and kissed a place above his stomach wetly, sucking until it flushed red, then licking the area hard with his tongue. Reid let out a quiet, sharp breath, "Ah..." and tensed up all over, his fingers moving from Morgan's shirt to cover his eyes with the heels of his hands.
Morgan chuckled, used to this cute impulse of Reid's by now, to hide his face from him when he got aroused.
"Y'okay in there baby?" he asked, lifting one of his hands slightly to peek at Reid's eye.
Reid slid his fingers up into his hair and nodded. "Sorry..." he laughed. "...I still find it...difficult."
"I know...but seeing your face...is the best part for me." He kissed Reid's lips, withdrawing quickly to pout and say, "Would you really deprive your boyfriend of seeing your gorgeous face?"
Reid raised his eyebrows and smiled in hopeful surprise. "Boyfriend?"
It had been a slip of the tongue. But since Reid didn't seem to mind...
"Yeah." He smiled mischievously, and whispered in Reid's ear, "Well you could call me something else if you prefer. Youur...lover...?" he kissed the crook of his neck and Reid shuddered, "Paramour...? Gentleman caller? Or..." he sat up and pulled Reid up to face him just inches away, giving the most sexual look he was capable of and grinding his crotch up against Reid's as he said the word "Fuck-buddy...?" Reid swallowed, his mind wandering back to the articles on Wikipedia.
"Hm...what was that last one again?"
Morgan grinned lasciviously, dry humping Reid once more. "Well personally I'm a great advocate of the philosophy show rather than tell..."
"Then fuck me." Reid whispered, his gaze dropping to Morgan's mouth, which fell open slightly.
Morgan looked taken aback.
"Um...Reid, I was kidding. We don't have to..."
"I know we don't have to idiot, I want to! That's why I said it!" Reid said, more harshly than he meant to. Morgan sighed and looked away. Reid frowned and said softly, "Look...I'm sorry, I didn't mean...please forget I said that." He kissed Morgan's cheek and hugged him tightly. Morgan turned his head back and Reid kissed him and he kissed back. He thought that meant they were going to, so Reid kissed his neck several times, breathing heavily, possessed by the strange impulse to wind his body round Morgan's like a scarf. He stroked the back of Morgan's neck with one hand and cupped his face with the other, rocking his hips forwards.
But Morgan stopped him, taking hold of his arms and bringing them down gently.
"Baby...baby stop."
Reid stopped kissing him and looked at him, suddenly afraid. He knew already that he didn't want to hear what Morgan was going to say.
"It's just...too fast, that's all."
"What does that mean?" Reid said, trying to stay calm.
"...just that...I don't think this is a good idea. Not right now."
"Why?" Reid said sharply, keeping his expression blank. Morgan still picked up on his tone of voice.
"Because...right now I'm not convinced that you're ready for it, that's why." He said defensively.
"Who the hell are you to say what I'm ready for?" Reid said angrily, pulling his arms away from Morgan's grasp.
"Alright fine, then I'm not ready for it."
"Bullshit."
"What? You think cause I've slept around so much that I'm somehow unaffected by all this?"
"I think that you weren't exactly complaining back there before." Reid said sourly.
Morgan seemed to search his eyes, like he'd suddenly realised something. He let his head fall against the back of the couch for a second.
"I knew there was something strange about that." He said, almost to himself.
Reid stood up like he'd been burnt, feeling humiliated.
"Strange? I did that for you and all you can say is...strange!?" he blinked back tears and turned to leave. "I'm...I'm not listening to this. Just...go to hell."
"No, no I'm not saying it wasn't good, it was just how you were at the time. Reid, I'm not trying to upset you. Please sit down."
Reid stopped, and folded his arms tightly, needing a barrier of some sort.
"'m just saying...rude, that's all." He mumbled. He didn't sit down.
Morgan sat forwards, looking up at him.
"I know. I didn't mean it to come out like that. I'm sorry. I loved what you did. It's just...I'm just not sure why you did it."
"I don't understand what you mean by that." Reid said, lost. He looked down at the floor, his forehead screwed up with the effort of not crying. "All I know is that I would do...anything, anything...that you asked. It hurts me that you wouldn't do the same." He admitted tersely, his voice shaking towards the end.
Morgan stood up, looking gutted. He held his arms out and whispered, "Baby, of course I would!"
Reid didn't move.
Morgan's voice was desperate, "I swear to God, anything. God, I mean...if you wanted me to...dress up like whatshisname gay king off Game of Thrones and talk medieval dirty to you I'd..."
Reid spluttered, unsure if he was laughing or just crying. He softened and walked into Morgan's arms and dropped his forehead onto his shoulder. Morgan held him tight.
"I don't think I could ever deny you anything." He told Reid, kissing his hair.
"Then why did you?" Reid mumbled.
Morgan tried hard to explain. "It just...it worries me when you act like somebody else."
Reid laughed. "Well who am I supposed to act like? Me? If I did that we'd probably do nothing at all."
Morgan lifted his head. "And what's wrong with that?"
Reid looked at him impatiently, "Are you kidding me?"
"No I'm serious. What, you think if you didn't give it to me I'd go get it somewhere else on the sly? Do I seem like that much of a bastard to you?"
"I don't know. I don't think so but what the hell do I know? I've never done this before. And for all the time I've known you I've watched you go through a string of women who probably all believed you were theirs. You can't blame me for wondering 'why should I be any different?'"
Morgan kissed him gently. "Because I'm telling you that you are. And I never said that to any of them. I wasn't best friends with any of them for six years first. I didn't move in with any of them the day after we got together, I didn't put my job on hold to spend time with them."
Reid looked down and smiled shyly. "I hadn't thought about that. But still, you're obviously a very...sensual person. Sex has always been an important part of your life. I want to be able to share that with you. And I don't want to be how I am forever. I hate being different. I hate being so scared and uptight about it all."
Morgan nodded, thoughtfully. He moved his hands down to Reid's waist. "Okay. Yes I want a sex life with you. But I don't want you to force it."
"It's getting easier." Reid argued. "The more I do it, the better I'll get."
"Yes but there's no need to hurry. It should come naturally. The first time you have full-on sex is a big deal for guys. It can hurt. A lot. You need complete trust in me, we have to know each other's bodies and responses really well." Morgan nuzzled his neck. "Besides, I don't want to rush. I wanna savour you. I want us to get properly acquainted physically, build up to the big stuff slowly, so when it happens, if it happens, we'll get it right first time, and it'll be mind-blowing for both of us."
There was a pause while Reid internally combusted.
"Okay..." he mumble. "um...yeah, gotta admit...your way sounds good too. I mean, I think...um, you've convinced me." Reid stammered, smiling at the ceiling and mentally attempting to suck the blush back into his head.
Morgan looked at him with a mixed expression of amusement and adoration.
"Good." He kissed Reid twice, a long sexy one followed by a short cute one. "Thank you for agreeing to wait."
"More importantly did just I hear you say you would dress up as king Renly for me?" Reid grinned wickedly.
"Oh man am I gonna regret that." Morgan shook his head, smiling.
"Don't worry. I wouldn't be so mean." Reid smiled innocently, mentally fitting him up for his costume size for ComicCon. "Though you'd make a very dashing Renly." He smirked.
Morgan laughed. "And you would be a most charming Loras."
He looked so relieved. The poor unwitting fool. Reid thought with sadistic glee.
Reid was the first to fall asleep, lying on his side on the couch with his back to Morgan's chest and his head on the cushion he was clutching. Morgan watched him for a while, smiling and overwhelmed with feelings of protectiveness and love. Then he rested his head on the soft arm of the couch and the next thing he knew it was 3:26am and Reid was screaming, but like a groaning, gasping scream like he was struggling to breathe, and his whole body was seizing inwards foetally, his limbs jerking slightly as if against invisible restraints. After jumping out of his fucking skin, Morgan grabbed Reid's shoulders and instinctively glanced around the still dimly-lit room.
"Reid! Baby! Wake up!" Morgan shouted, trying to stay calm. Reid stilled and then jerked awake, scrabbling into sitting position and gasping up lung-fulls of air. Morgan grabbed his wrist, "Reid, it's just me! We fell asleep." he said, stating the obvious. "We fell asleep."
"Oh...God." Reid spluttered into his hand, which was clapped over his mouth. "I'm sorry."
Morgan pulled him back down into his arms. "It's okay. You're alright. Seriously it's fine. Don't worry."
Reid was still covering his mouth, trying to stop the dry sobs which punctuated his rapid, jagged breaths, by holding his breath and trying to calm himself down. This close Morgan could faintly hear his heart beating like a galloping horse a few inches away. He stroked Reid's back and kissed his forehead. Reid buried his face under his neck, down into the gap between their bodies. After half a minute his breathing was back to normal, but he still trembled if he moved his arms or any other muscles.
"What were you dreaming about?" Morgan asked, tentatively.
"Exactly what you think I was dreaming about." Reid said tiredly. "What else?"
There was a silence. Morgan gently detached himself and sat up.
"I'm gonna go turn the lights on and make some tea, okay?"
Reid nodded and sat up as Morgan left the couch. After a few seconds he got up and wandered into the bathroom.
When he'd finished and left the bathroom Morgan was waiting near the door. He smiled and rubbed Reid's shoulder as he walked past him into the bathroom. Reid went into the living room and sat down again. There were too mugs of tea on the table, and a patch of sweat on the couch cushion where he'd been lying. He felt disgusted with himself.
After a while the toilet flushed and a minute later Morgan joined him on the couch. To Reid's relief the sweaty patch had mostly evaporated by then.
They drank their tea quietly.
"Wanna tell me about it?" Morgan asked after a while, even though honestly he didn't really want to know. He had enough nightmare fuel of his own.
"I don't." Reid replied, taking a sip.
Morgan knew it was dumb but he felt shut out by that. He regretted asking, it was none of his business and if Reid had wanted to tell him he would've. He asked himself whether he would want to tell anyone the fucked up, sordid things that went on in his dreams and he knew he wouldn't. He stroked Reid's back again, more for his own sake than Reid's. It was damp with sweat which had gone cold.
He put his tea down, grabbed his hoodie that he'd slung over the back of the couch earlier and lifted the bottom of Reid's shirt up slightly.
"Hey, take this off." He said it like a question.
Reid put down his own mug and took his t-shirt off, almost robotically. Morgan helped him slide his arms into the hoodie.
"Better?"
Reid nodded, giving a weak smile.
There was another silence. Morgan felt uncomfortable, wishing Reid would say what he was thinking about. He wasn't exactly a chatterbox himself but now he found that actually he did need some words. When Reid had finished his tea he asked if he wanted to go to bed or stay up.
"Um...sure...yeah. We can go to bed." He said.
"I don't mind staying up with you. I don't want you to fall right back into the same nightmare."
"That rarely happens." Reid replied, with a reassuring smile. There's no going back to sleep after this.
They stood up. Morgan took Reid's hand and kissed the knuckles. It killed him that there was nothing he could do to help, but even he couldn't protect Reid from his own dreams.
They got into bed, Reid let Morgan hold him for a while, but then turned over and shifted away, not wanting to accidentally scream in Morgan's ear if he somehow did go back to sleep.
Morgan took it as a rejection of intimacy. He knew it was just his own insecurity, maybe Reid was too hot, maybe he was just uncomfortable. But he still felt churned up. Strange how Reid was the one who'd had the nightmare and yet Morgan was the one who needed to be held.
...
Morgan was woken at 5:30am to sounds of Reid shuffling about in the room.
"Why you up so early?" he asked softly, propping up his head with his hand. Reid turned around and smiled at him.
"Some of us have work to get to." He replied.
"Ugh really? Murderous psychopath gets out of jail the day after tomorrow and you're not even gonna milk that for a few weeks off?"
"I like work." Reid said.
"You like me more." Morgan smirked, letting the quilt fall away to innocently remind Reid what he looked like in his underwear.
Reid laughed as he walked into the bathroom. "Knock it off. I'm serious. I need to do something, make things feel...normal."
Morgan sighed and heaved himself out of bed. "Well, okay then Mr Workaholic," He followed Reid.
"Oh you don't have to get u-...what are you doing?" Reid asked suspiciously.
"Being a supportive boyfriend by helping you get ready for work." Morgan replied with a serious expression.
"Am I to extrapolate from this performance that you're suggesting we have sex in my shower?" Reid said, trying to look stern.
"You can extrapolate me anywhere you want baby." Morgan grinned, crowding Reid backwards into the bathroom.
"No." Reid said, trying not to laugh. Morgan ignored him. "No!" Reid put a hand against Morgan's chest. "I mean it! I haven't got time."
Morgan pretended to pout. "I only want to help." He placed his hands on Reid's waist. "I mean showering alone can be dangerous..." He slid his hands down to Reid's ass. "...slippery."
Reid gave him his best 'not impressed' expression, even though Morgan's hands on his butt were making certain areas pleasantly warm and tingly.
Morgan continued, grinning, "All those hard to reach places..." he moved his hands again.
"I can reach that perfectly fine thank you." Reid said, removing Morgan's hand and trying not to blush. "I really have to hurry." He said pleadingly, pushing him out and trying to disentangle himself.
"Will you at least think about me while you're in there?" Morgan grinned.
"Fine."
"Sexually?"
"Yes, whatever. Now please let go."
"You promise?"
"Promise." Reid chuckled, closing the door.
"This ain't over pretty boy." He called through the door.
Reid took his clothes off quickly, dropping them onto the floor and stepping into the cubicle. He'd already washed his hair before he remembered his promise. He knew Morgan wouldn't know if he didn't do it, but he'd never really touched himself before and he thought it might be a pleasant way to liven up his morning shower.
Thinking about Morgan proved harder than expected when he had to wash himself at the same time. He was terrible at multitasking. He also wasn't used to making up sexual fantasies on demand, but he had a go.
*** ~ REID'S SHOWER FANTASY, TENTATIVELY TITLED "THE SHOWER BANDIT" ~ ***
Commander Spencer Spock was washing his hair sexily in the showers aboard the Starship Enterprise when he heard the cubicle door open, it was Captain Derek Kirk. And he was naked.
"This cubicle is occupied captain!" Spencer cried, covering himself.
"Left the door unlocked pretty half-Vulcan boy." The Captain grinned, entering the cubicle. Spencer stepped back against the wet tiles nervously, feeling exposed and vulnerable, emotions he was unfamiliar with as a half-Vulcan.
"Captain I do not claim to know much about human relationships but I can't help feeling that it is highly inappropriate for us to shower together."
"What's inappropriate? We're both guys aren't we? All the other showers are still broken from the power surge caused by that neutronic radiation storm last week." The captain grinned.
Spencer frowned. "Excuse me sir but I find that highly unlikely."
He eyed the captain's muscular form, glistening wet under the water. He'd never seen his captain out of his uniform before. He felt a peculiar stirring in his middle, a kind of pleasant tightening which was most disturbing. He made a mental note to seek advice from the doctor as soon as he'd manoeuvred himself out of this uncomfortable situation.
"What exactly are you suggesting by that Spock?" the captain said sternly, moving closer into Spencer's personal space, what little of it was left anyway.
Spencer weakened, unconsciously licking his lips at the sight of that muscular, caramel coloured chest. "N-nothing captain. It was my mistake. Please commence your hygiene ritual of choice, I was finished anyway." He went to leave, but the captain's arm snaked around his waist and pulled him back against his warm, firm chest. Spencer's skin seemed to burn and sizzle at the contact, and he found the feeling in his stomach grew even stronger, now a gentle burn and throbbing in his genital region. He turned to face the captain and opened his mouth to explain that he was unwell, symptoms being heart palpitations, raised body temperature, a pleasurable squeezing feeling in his lower abdomen, and a general feeling of weakness which seemed to concentrate around his knees, but before he could speak, the captain placed his mouth over his in what he knew to be a romantic human interaction known as 'kissing'. Totally unprepared for the onslaught of sensory bliss which accompanied this violation of his lips, Spencer had to clutch at the captain's arms for balance.
"Captain!" he gasped in surprise.
"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Derek?" he chuckled.
"I...I had no idea you had an a-attraction of this kind to me..." Spencer stammered.
"Why Spock I think that's the first time I've ever heard a Vulcan stutter." Derek smiled. He tucked a strand of wet hair behind Spencer's ear. "Wonder what I can make you do by doing...this." he placed his hands on Spencer's sides and grazed his hands down the flat planes of his body.
"Captain I must ask you to stop this!" he protested. "I am not comfortable with this behaviour."
Derek leant forwards and sucked a water droplet off his neck. "So why aren't you trying to leave?" he asked.
Spencer couldn't find an answer.
Derek spoke again, "It's because you feel it too, this electricity. Let it happen Spock. I don't care that we're different species, that we're both males, I just know I can't resist the feelings I have for you for even one more day." He let a hand trail down the inside of Spencer's thigh.
His mouth fell open as he realised the captain was right. What he felt in his stomach, he now realised, was sexual arousal. He had not felt it before because he had never considered a non-Vulcan mate, but his human half was trying to tell him that he was in love with his captain.
Steeling himself for the brain-frying stimulation produced in Vulcans by a human kiss, he took Derek's face in his hands hesitantly, (that contact alone made him dizzy with lust,) stared into the captain's dark brown eyes, and kissed him. He did not know what he was doing, it all felt so strange, to be licking the insides of each other's mouth, but Derek didn't give him time to think about it. He was almost flung against the tiles and his mouth assaulted mercilessly. The captain slid his hand up his thigh and started to rub his penis, at first gently, then more vigorously. Spencer shuddered and thought he would die if this continued, but that he would die of frustration if it didn't.
"Oh captain..." he moaned, his back sliding a couple of inches down the wall.
Derek grabbed him and turned him roughly so that his chest was pressed against the wall instead, still tugging at his genitals in long, firm strokes. He could feel the captain's hard-on rubbing between his buttocks, and reached behind to touch his captain in the same way.
With his other hand the captain slid two fingers into his anus and probed deep inside him. It was painful and strange but Spencer bore it with just a stoical grunt of discomfort.
"Bend over Spock." Derek ordered.
Spencer did as he asked, proffering his rear in a way that was undignified but strangely thrilled him. He felt the head of the captain's penis touch the ring of muscle, felt him push through that muscle until he was completely buried inside his ass. He let out a quiet gasp as the captain pulled out of him only to plunge his shaft back inside forcefully, an explosion of sensory information pulsing into the pleasure centres of his brain. He found himself begging for more with his body language, pushing his rear right out as the captain entered him, his arms shaking with the effort of holding himself up. The captain thrust up inside him again and again, lifting him off his feet a couple of times. Derek hooked a hand round Spencer's neck, pulled him upright and mouthed against the back of his neck. Then he felt the captain kiss his pointed ear sweetly, and hold his fingers up for a Vulcan kiss. Reid pressed his fingers against his, and he let out a moan he would be ashamed for anyone else to hear as he felt the dam of sweet pressure give way in his belly to come shooting out of his penis and splatter across the tiles. He heard the captain release a groan seconds later...
"Reid...Reid...REID."
Reid opened his eyes, blinking with his back to the tiles, realising Morgan was calling him. He was covered in shower gel suds and his penis was flushed and erect.
"Yeah?" he replied.
"Are you nearly ready?" Morgan asked. There was a mortifyingly amused tone to Morgan's voice which made him cringe.
"Almost done." Reid called back, starting to panic.
He was past the point where stopping was an option, so he put both hands between his legs, and rubbed his penis rapidly until he ejaculated. It reached nearly to the top of the glass door, and he had to clean it off with the shower head.
He had got far more into that than he had intended.
When he came out of that shower he felt dirtier than when he got in. And now he was running fifteen minutes late.
He came out of the bathroom with a cream coloured towel wrapped around his waist. Morgan was lying on top of the duvet grinning like a Cheshire cat.
"That was a long shower."
Reid glared at him, hurriedly putting some underwear on under the towel, and searching for his T-shirt. "Mmm." Was his only reply.
"I seriously underestimated the power of your imagination." Morgan teased. He tutted. "And such a waste. You know I could have taken care of that in half the time if you'd just agreed to do it my way."
Reid ignored him. He found a T-shirt, wriggled into it, and picked his pants up off the chair.
"You'd better not think about me too much at work today, that Hilda might take it as an invitation to feel you up behind the muffin counter." Morgan laughed.
"Shut up okay?" Reid said bitterly. "You totally messed up my morning and now you're sitting there like...what, do you think I'm playing around? Is my job just a big joke to you? Just because I don't save anybody my work isn't important enough?" Reid snapped.
"Woah, hey it's not my fault that fantasising about me took you twenty minutes!"
"Who says I was thinking about you?" Reid snapped.
He wanted to bite his tongue off the moment he said it, Morgan looked so hurt.
Morgan got up off the bed and walked out into the living room.
"Oh I made you coffee by the way. Probably cold." He said over his shoulder.
Reid ran his fingers through his hair anxiously, but he was still too angry to follow him. He put his jeans and shoes on, packed his work stuff into his satchel and then went through to the living room. He picked up his coat off the armchair, and looked at Morgan, who was watching TV.
"Morgan I'm sorry." Reid said, even though a part of him wasn't.
"Go to work Reid." Morgan replied sorely.
Reid hesitated, but he didn't know what to say.
The moment he walked out the door Morgan turned his head to watch him leave.
He let his head flop back against the couch and closed his eyes.
I am such a jerk.
...
By the time Reid walked in the rest of the staff had turned on the lights and the checkout system, and there were two customers wearing suits, gulping up espressos and typing on laptops, looking like their souls were slowly dying.
Hilda looked up from her conversation with Fran, the 21 year old part-time worker and student, and her face lit up with glee as she saw him.
"Well, well, well. Spencer Reid, taking no less than one and a half days off. Is the apocalypse nigh?"
"If by apocalypse you mean his hunky sex God boyfriend." Fran cut in with a smirk. "I'm sure he's been very nigh to our boy the last couple of days. Yeah Spence, I heard. Jesus talk about a dark horse, where were you hiding him all this time?"
"Quantico Virginia." Reid replied shortly, putting his bags down in the staff area and lifting his green apron over his head.
"Oh wow, an FBI agent?" Hilda joked.
"Yeah exactly." Reid said sarcastically, tying the straps around his waist.
"I wish I was in the FBI," Fran remarked wistfully. "All that danger and excitement, and the super-hot guys in uniform..."
Reid snorted.
"Hey what's wrong with you? You don't think I could be FBI if I wanted?"
"Don't talk about something you know nothing about. It is an awful, awful job to have to do. People have mental breakdowns doing that job. Just don't make it sound like sound like some dumb-ass TV show ok?"
Fran slammed her empty mug on the side. "Okay lover-boy talk to yourself. You're the only one who finds you at all interesting anyway." she stormed off to collect the empty mug of one of the laptop guys who had just left.
Reid rubbed his forehead with his thumb.
Hilda patted his back. "Sharp little tongue on that one. Don't mind her though. I think she finds you intimidating. She comes here straight from college expecting to be the cleverest one here, and then you come along, and obviously you're...so it probably makes her feel inferior, so she tells herself at least she's ahead of you socially, and then you produce a navy-seal sex god seemingly out of a hat. You're a lucky boy." She said kindly.
Reid didn't reply because he thought he might start to cry. He just swallowed and nodded and turned away to start filling up the cake shelves.
After that customers quickly started filing in and he was too busy to think, one of the aspects of the job which proved most therapeutic. He took a bathroom break at 8:30, then at 11:00 when the rush had slowed down, he went out for an early lunch break. He was starving but there was nothing he felt like eating, so he just walked across the street and bought a candy bar and then picked up a coffee from another Starbucks which was free because he'd filled up his sticker card. He got through about three of those cards a week. He drank it sitting on a bench and allowed himself to think about Morgan.
He had always known that maintaining a romantic relationship would not be his strongest point, but he had thought after being best friends with Morgan for years that he could have kept him as a boyfriend for more than two days. But thinking about them as individuals, what did they really have in common? Not much except for work. They met through work, became friends because they had to be friends in order to do the job, then eventually bonded, in the same way soldiers in the battle form deep bonds and trust in each other, because no human being could cope with what they had to do on a daily basis on their own without someone who understood them inside out.
But outside of that environment the bond fell apart, they had argued more in the past two days than they normally would in two months. And now Morgan didn't like him anymore. It wasn't working, and he didn't understand why.
He dreaded going home. When he went back to work all he could think about was that maybe Morgan wouldn't be there. Or he would be there and he'd be angry, maybe he'd want to break up.
Two days.
He wasn't human. He was a joke.
...
Morgan had gone back to bed, but it wasn't easy to fall asleep. He felt terrible about sending Reid off to work without accepting his apology. And Reid had been right, Morgan hadn't realised how serious he was about his job at Starbucks, it hadn't registered fully with him that this was Reid's life now. He'd seen it as a kind of holiday or gap year before he came back to do 'proper work'. He was being a snob. If a boyfriend had delayed him getting to his own workplace he would have been furious.
He had wanted to make Reid happy, not disrupt his life.
And on top of that he'd gone way too far teasing Reid. It was so easy to forget how much Reid struggled with the sexual side of things. He was gradually having to surrender his privacy and self-control for the first time in his life. To his knowledge Morgan hadn't slept with a virgin before, let alone one with as many complications as Reid. It felt like he was forcing Reid to do something which made him so uncomfortable, even though he wasn't.
And sometimes he thought that on some level Reid must still see him as the guy raping him in the Faraday's basement. Of course he knew it wasn't Morgan's fault, but on an emotional level what the hell did that matter? When it came down to it the stuff they had already done together in their relationship was a complete miracle. The fact they were still able to have a relationship was a miracle.
And he'd thrown all that trust and effort back in Reid's face by laughing at him.
He woke up again at 9am and watched TV. He wanted more than anything to go find Reid and tell him how sorry he was, or at least call him, but interrupting Reid's work with a personal issue would just send the message all over again that he didn't respect Reid's job. He could text him, but he didn't like using that method for important conversations.
So he waited. He watched one crappy TV show after another, getting more and more stressed out. He never normally had time to watch TV so now whenever he did it felt wrong, he felt almost guilty like there was something important he was meant to be doing but he was putting it off, even when there was nothing. He would have gone to the gym but he didn't have a membership up here. It slowly dawned on him that he had no life here.
Not that he had much of one in Quantico, but at least he had his job. What was he going to do with himself now? He couldn't get a temporary job since he was technically still with the FBI.
But what if Reid never wanted to go back to the FBI? Would he be alright to get another job in Quantico or would he not want that either? Morgan loved Reid but his job pretty much made up his entire identity. He couldn't be happy if he had to choose one over the other.
He stopped himself thinking about this, his thoughts were getting ridiculously ahead of the stage their relationship was at. One bridge at a time.
At around midday he went out to a diner for lunch, then walked around aimlessly trying to think of a way to make it up to Reid. Frustrated, he walked into liquor store and picked up a bottle of scotch. He was about to buy it when he saw a two for one on some really good red wine by the till. It gave him an idea.
It was dumb, it was corny, but if anything could put a smile on his boy's face he'd bet money on this.
...
"Okay, enough." Hilda said, throwing down the cloth she was using to wipe down a table. "Out with it."
Reid looked behind him, but there were no other staff around, and few customers nearby.
"I'm sorry?" he said.
"You've been 'working out your issues' with that boyfriend for two days solid and you've got a face like your puppy just died. What did he do? He make you cry again? He been playin' around behind your back? Boy when I catch that philandering pretty boy..."
The unexpected mention of Morgan's pet name for him put a lump in his throat, and tears came to his eyes. He looked away but Hilda saw. She came over and hugged him sideways, which made him terribly uncomfortable, but at least made him stop wanting to cry.
"Oh Spence it's okay, it's his loss if he can't see what a special boy you are." She said comfortingly.
"No it's not that." He said croakily. "It's just...pretty boy, that's what he calls me."
She put a hand over her mouth, "Ahh I see. I'm sorry honey. Always putting my foot in my mouth I am..." she laughed embarrassedly, "So, if he hasn't cheated then what are you crying about?"
"I'm not crying." Reid protested indignantly. "He made me late for work today and he just laughed about it and then I said some really bad stuff to him and I don't know if he's gonna be there when I get home."
She chuckled. "Oh you're such a sweetheart."
He looked at her quizzically.
"I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you ain't been in many relationships before." She said.
"Yeah not really, no." he shook his head.
"Well when me and Charles Ignatius Junior first got together we used to fight like cat an' dog six out of seven days a week, and only that because he'd visit his mother in Atlanta on Sundays. Didn't make no difference though. I loved him even when he was callin' me a miserable nagging bitch and he loved me even when I called him a mentally stunted, tiny-dicked goatherd."
Reid raised his eyebrows. "Why goatherd?"
"Cause he was a goatherd."
"Oh. Right."
"Anyway, my point is you're lucky if the only problems you got with each other is a little name-calling. He's probably forgotten it by now, men don't retain stuff like that. He'll come back to you when he's hungry or horny, as my grandma used to say when she was drinkin' God rest her soul."
"Much as I appreciate your grandmother's...wisdom, I'm not sure it's that simple." Reid said sadly. "I think I really hurt him."
"It absolutely is. I'd bet my grandchildren on it but they tell me slavery's illegal nowadays." She made a 'pfff' sound and threw up her hands in mock disapproval. "A good thing for your boyfriend I guess else he'd be callin' you Master Reid and farming your fields." She laughed and clapped a hand over her mouth. "Lord above did I really just say that? How quickly we turn into our mothers. This is why I never became a politician. Can't keep a lid on it, drives my husband mad."
Reid smiled. "I don't know. I think you'd be pretty good, as long as you didn't let the power go to your head."
She threw back her head and laughed, a really dirty laugh. "Well now that's the thing see, it'd probably be the holocaust all over again, except I'd take out all door-to-door salesmen and the nosey-parkers on my street for telling the cops I didn't pick up my dachshund's poop that one time."
Reid laughed.
"Oh it's gone six-thirty, your shift ended an hour ago. You off home now?"
Reid hesitated. He turned to look at the clock for some reason, as if Hilda's time-telling skills were unreliable.
"Yeah I guess so. Unless you need help here?" he said hopefully.
Hilda wasn't fooled. "The sooner you go home the sooner you can clear the air and get to the make-up sex." Reid blushed. "Trust me it'll be fine."
"Yeah...uh okay." He said, and went to pick up his bag and jacket. "Bye then."
"See you tomorrow honey."