A/N: I know, I'm truly awful for taking, not just one, but TWO long breaks in a row. I had my play and I started Driver's Ed. So so so sorry. As a little treat, I'll give you guys a new POV to read from. I'll get started on the new chapter right away and try to have it up much sooner.

Chapter 9: Remorse

Glenn's POV

"Maggie," I know she's awake. She's been awake all night, trembling beside me. "Maggie, it's time." I touch her hand and she pulls it away. "We have to tell them." Lizzie and Mika don't know that Felix died last night. Hell, they didn't even that he was in danger he was in in the first place. As much as I want to just deny it and not think about it, they deserve to be told properly, not shocked with the absence of him and a fresh grave in the backyard. "I'll do it." I tell her. "If you're fine with that, just do nothing." She continues to stare off blankly. "Okay." I kiss her temple and tuck her hair behind her ear.

"You don't have to..." She chokes out. "I'll come with you." She starts to push herself up with her hand.

"No, it's alright. I'll go, and you stay." I insist, pushing her back down. She has purple circles around her eyes. I wish she would just get some sleep. But I know how she feels. And I didn't get any sleep like this either. "I'll be back." I force myself to my feet and slowly walk to the door separating the two rooms, my steps sounding decibels louder than they are. I push the door open, the hinges let out a small squeak, and let my legs, that seem to have developed a mind of their own, propel me forward. The amplified sound of my feet making their way across the room feels loud enough to wake the two blonde girls sleeping soundly in their bed. I crouch down next to Mika's side of the bed and place my hand on her arm. "Mika." I say soothingly. "Time to get up." They've already slept quite late. Even though we have no schedule to keep, we try to stay civilized. She stirs and lets out a moan. I do the same with Lizzie. "Come on, Liz. Wake up." Lizzie is a little less reluctant.

"What's wrong?" Lizzie asks me after she rubs her eyes. "You look upset."

"Yeah, what is it?" Mika joins in. "Is everything alright?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you both about." I explain, vaguely. "Sit down." I say, gesturing to the foot of the bed. They look at each other and have a seat. I pull up a foot rest and sit on it in front of them.

"Okay. Now tell us." Lizzie demands. I nod with hesitation.

"So...you obviously know that the baby, Felix, was born last night." I start, kind of beating around the bush.

"Yeah...?" Mika says, eager for the rest.

"But, um, a little while after you two went to bed, he, he, well...Felix died." I say, finally able to get it out.

"What?!" Lizzie exclaims. "How? What happened?"

"He just...stopped breathing." I say. "There was nothing we could do."

"Fuck..." Mika says to herself. Normally I would tell her not to talk like that, but fuck is the shortest way to verbally represent how I'm feeling right about now.

"Yeah." I agree.

"Is mom okay?" She asks, looking at me, her eyes slightly shining.

"She will be. She needs time. We'll all need some time."

"Did you...did you bury him yet?" Lizzie asks hesitantly.

"No...no. Not-not yet." I play with my fingers to alleviate some of my nerves. "We wanted to let you know first."

"Okay." Lizzie replies, as Mika just nods her head and gets up.

"Where are you...?" I begin as she walks in our room. "Don't-" I try to stop her from bothering Maggie, but I give up when she swats my hand away.

"Mom?" I hear her say. Lizzie gets up and hugs me from above, resting her head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry." She whispers. I get up from the stool and give her a proper hug.

"Me too."

"Mom?" I hear Mika say from the other room. "Are you okay?" Maggie sniffles.

"Yeah, honey." She replies. "Everything's fine."

"It's just that...Dad told us what happened."

"Uh huh." She gets up and the bathroom door closes. Mika comes back in the room and looks at me expectantly.

"I'll get her out." I say. "You two go downstairs."

"But-" Lizzie starts.

"Downstairs." She gives up and follows Mika out their bedroom door. I get myself to stand and walk back into our room, stopping just outside the bathroom door. I try the knob, knowing already that it was locked. "Maggie." I say softly. "Will you come out?" I know I won't get an answer, but I could try. She blames herself for everything that goes wrong. I hate that she beats herself up over things that are out of her control. "Knock twice if you're okay." Sure enough, there are two knocks against the wall. "Can I come in?" I ask. After a few seconds, the click of the door being unlocked can be heard and I turn the handle and push the door open. I find her sitting on the lidded toilet, staring at her post-pregnancy belly with her arms resting on her thighs. I sit on the edge of the tub and take one of her hands and just hold it. "Talk to me?" I request, but she just raises her eyebrows and shakes her head, signalling that she has nothing to say. I nod my head in acceptance.

Maggie's POV

"I feel empty." I say, my voice weak and broken.

"What?" He asks.

"I feel empty."

"What do you mean?" I don't really expect him to understand. How could he possibly? He didn't carry a baby for six and a half months, and spend all of those months in constant worry. He didn't give birth unexpectedly and early either. He doesn't understand how physically empty I feel. But I do give him some credit, because he knows how emotionally empty I feel. He feels it, too. I know he does.

"I'm just...so used to him...being in there." I explain. "And...now he's...well, now he's not." At least he was safe, then. He was alive. I keep digging through any possible reasons that this was for the best, but I just can't. But in the way back of my mind, I know that it was because he wouldn't have made it any further. I don't wanna accept it though. I look at Glenn, and his eyes are telling me that he understands. He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it.

"I'm gonna go-" He pauses and swallows deeply. "-dig his grave. I'll come up for you when I'm done and I'll keep the girls busy till then." I look back down at my lap, nodding. He gets up and hugs me gently, stroking my hair and kissing the top of my head. "I need you," His voice drops. "To find a box." I nod and he pulls away and leaves me sitting alone.

"Pull it together, Maggie." I say to motivate myself. "Stop it." I nod in answer to my own orders. I turn on the sink and splash freezing cold water on my face. I dry my face as I try to remember Glenn's request. "Box." I say out loud as I recall my mission. Box for what? "Box..." I sigh as I put the simple little pieces together. I search around a bit and find a shoe box that should work. I return to room where Felix's body is and just look at him. He looks just as he did last night, but paler. I take the blanket that swaddles him and find to make a cushion for the shoe box. I lay him in it carefully, as if not to disturb him. Putting him in this box is so degrading, so mundane. But I kiss his face, thankful that this god awful box will at least keep the dirt away from it. I lift up his head and see the hideous stab wound that prevented his potential reanimation. "It's okay, honey, I'll fix it." I whisper as I fumble through the baby supplies and locate a hat that delicately slip over his head, effectively hiding the impalement.

"Maggie?" Glenn says as he walks in the room. I take a deep breath.

"Yeah?" He comes up behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders.

"Are you ready?" He asks, rubbing my shoulders comfortingly. I nod.

"Okay." He walks to the box and touches Felix's hand as he appraises my work. He picks up the box with the lid underneath it and walks towards me with. "Let's go." I nod and follow him downstairs. "Lizzie, Mika, we're gonna..." He doesn't need to finish. They silently get up and join us in walking outside. In the backyard, opposite to the barn, is a small 18 inch by 12 inch hole a little over 2 feet deep. Glenn puts the cover on the box and hands it to me, subtly motioning to the hole with his head. I approach the all too intimidating grave and lower the box into it as slowly as I can, letting my hands linger on the box for as long as possible.

"Okay," I say breathlessly. "Okay, go ahead." Glenn nods and piles dirt over the box, little by little, until the grave is completed. He puts a decent sized stone at the head of the grave to mark it, knowing I would not want a cross in place of it. I shortly look at the display and disappear to my room, just wanting to mourn in solitude.

Lizzie's POV

As I watch the woman I started calling mom run inside, all I can think is what a shame. What a shame it really is. Of course, it would have been better for the baby to be alive, but he could still be with us. But they stopped it. "Why?" I ask Glenn, the man I call dad.

"W-what do you mean?" He responds.

"Why didn't you let him turn? He could still be part of the family." I can't believe they don't understand. They are just like us.

"Lizzie..." He begins. "Walkers. Aren't. People. They're dead."

"No. You're wrong. They want us to be like them. They like it." I try to explain. No matter how many times I explain, they'll still won't get it.

"They act on a mindless instinct! They can't 'like' anything." Glenn tries to argue.

"Whatever you say..." I pretend to admit defeat. "But if you hadn't stopped it, you'd still have a son." I turn to the door to go back inside. As soon as my back is to Glenn and Mika, I'm pushed down to the ground. Hard. I look up to see my small, frail, little sister standing over me.

"Shut. Up." She says. "You're messed up."

"No. It's you that's messed up." I say as I push myself off the cold, damp ground. I continue towards the door.

"Lizzie, wait." Glenn orders and I stop in my tracks. "Mika, go inside." She walks past me, glaring at me until she's out of sight.

"What." I say.

"Come with me." He says and unlatches the door to the fence, opening the door wide and gesturing me through the opening. I do as he wordlessly requests and he follows behind me, latching the door again on his way out.

He takes me on a walk to a store in town that we all know is packed with people, or "walkers" as they like to call them. Glenn bangs on the window and waits for them to come see us. I smile and wave at them. "Lizzie." He says and I look at him. "Look at them." I do. "Do you really think they look happy?"

"Of course. They're all just playing together and they just want us to play with them." I try again to explain. "And I want to play with them, but no one will let me." I try the door handle to the building and find it locked.

"Lizzie, don't." Glenn says sternly. I pick up a brick from the ground to break the window. "Lizzie, stop it." He tries to grab the brick from my hands, but I throw it at the window before he can get it from me, the glass shattering and my friends coming out to play with me. "LIZZIE!" He yells and grabs my hands, trying to drag me away.

"No! Let go!" I try to pry his hand off mine. Eventually I succeed and I run towards my new friends. "Hi!"

"Lizzie get back here NOW!" Glenn yells and shoots the one in front of me.

"Stop! Don't hurt them!"

Lizzie, why can't you understand?!" He shoots another, and another, and another.

"Why can't you understand?!" I cry. "Stop hurting them!" Glenn steps forward and pulls me out of the crowd, but not before a beautiful lady sinks her teeth into my shoulder. The pain is utterly blinding, but it's one of the best things I've ever felt.

"Oh fuck." Glenn says as he tries to stop the bleeding. "FUCK!" He's upset but I can't help feeling relieved.

"Hey, hey." I grab his arm. "It's okay. This is what I want."

"What's your mom gonna say?" He asks, choked up.

"She'll understand. She'd want me to be happy." He takes my hand and forces me behind him so he can finish killing the rest of those people. "I told you to stop!" I say, pulling at his gun. He pushes me aside and I fall to the ground. With the last gunshot, the last one falls to the ground. Glenn picks me up off the ground and carries me back home.

"They're gonna be devastated." He mutters to himself.

"It'll be okay." I say.

"You don't get it." He says. "We just lost a baby last night. And now you're gonna die. That's two kids gone, within 24 hours of each other."

"Just let me turn and I won't be dead. I'll be fine. I'll just be different." He stays silent and carries me inside and sits me down at the kitchen table. He wets a towels and presses it to my shoulder.

"Hold that on there. Stay here." He says as he rushes upstairs to get my mom. I can see how upset he is, so I figure the least I can do is do is what I'm told.

"What?!" I hear Maggie yell after a minute or so and her and Glenn both come running down the stairs. "Oh my god, honey!" She comes up to me and holds my head to her chest and cradling my body the best she can. She takes the towel from my shoulder and the tears come even more violently. "Honey, why?" She sobs.

"You don't need to worry. It's what I want." I explain. She ignores me and kisses my head.

"Why do you want to die? You're one of the last ones standing!" I knew she wouldn't understand so I save my breath. "There's nothing we can do now." She says. "We just need to spend as much time together as we can..." She trails off. "Come one. Let's go find your sister." She takes my hand and leads me to lobby to spend my final hours with my sister.

And for the third time today, I get the same speech. I listen and pretend to care, but all I can think about is what it's gonna be like, how free I'll feel. We just talk and play games and tell stories so its not silent. As the hours go by, it gets darker outside and the burning in my shoulder spreads to my entire body, and my thinking gets fuzzy. And soon, I can't even sit up on my own, so Glenn arranges a spot for me on the couch so I can be more comfortable. As I lose overall feeling in my body, I say my final words to my family. "See you soon..." I whisper lightly as everything goes black.