Chapter 46. Who is the skull?

He fell on his knees and for a terrible moment, Garfield felt like a child again. Like the child he was when he lost his parents. He felt empty, lost. Unable to think of anything that could take him away from his daze. Unable to get a coherent thought that would keep him from remembering his worse nightmare. That was until he felt a gentle touch on his cheek. He didn't have to look up to know who it was, he just pulled her down to kneel next to him, buried his face on her shoulder and cried without restrain.

He still held the papers in his hand and when he remember the words, sobbed even more . He never had the chance to say goodbye to his parents and only remembered being shoved away by them in the water, urging him to save himself. Then he thought about his life after that. What he had gone thru until this day.

Sometimes, when the situations felt helpless, like when Trigon had tried to destroy the world, his only consolation had been that his parents didn't live long enough to experience that. Or that his mother would not have to be worried every time he got hurt or his father wouldn't feel disappointed when he messed up.

But now he realized, they had known all along. How frightened his mother must have been. How worried his father's words were in that letter. He felt helpless and just pulled Raven even closer and held on to her for dear life.

Raven was kneeling next to him, taking in every wave of emotion that emanated from him. His despair and frustration, even confusion, were so strong that overwhelmed her but she held her place. She held him closer, let him cry if he so needed to until he was empty.

Raven had told the monk she would watch over him, father Dawa was really worried and even apologized for telling him about his parents and their time in the monastery But Raven reassure him he was not at fault and had dismissed him. Now she only wanted to make him feel safe. To make him feel better.

After a while of sobbing inconsolably, he pushed himself away from her gently and rubbed his eyes, then dried the trail the tears had left on his cheeks with the back of his hand and looked down at the papers he held in his other hand now resting on his lap. All the while avoiding eye contact with Raven while she waited patiently.

He remained silent for a little while longer but handed her his father's letter. She read it and slowly, the words sank in and couldn't help but let out a tiny gasp.

"I bet you father Dawa didn't expect the mighty Lobsang to be a wimp" he scuffed to himself and chuckled in self mockery.

"You're not a wimp Gar " she said softly while she handed him back the letter. He sighed deeply and sniffed a couple of times. He made the attempt to look at her but didn't feel strong enough to face her.

She could tell he was hiding from her.

"Gar? Look at me…" she said, slowly leaning closer. But he shook his head slightly and attempted to get up but she grabbed his arm and kept him in his place.

"Gar? you don't have to feel ashamed for crying. No one is going to think anything less of you because of it. I don't think less of you but anyone who dares, I'll send them to another dimension, how does that sound?" her attempt to cheer him up with her own joke came out somehow disturbingly odd. Her characteristic monotone made it sound so serious and yet, the absurdity of it was what draw a chuckle from him that finally made him look at her in the eyes.

He expected to find pity or even boredom, but instead, he found a comforting smile.

"You don't?" he asked. Raven shook her head and came closer.

"I would be very disappointed if you didn't, besides, only real men cry. You lost your parents and even though I have never had such experience to relate, I have always been able to sense your pain"

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be" she said. Garfield sighed and looked at the papers in his hand without reading them.

"You know Rae, all this time, when we have gone thru really tough situations, my only consolation had been that my parents were not alive to suffer. That my mother wouldn't worry about me every time she heard in the news that I had gotten hurt or that any of them faced impending doom because of what I am… ha! Imagine what kind of phone call I would have with her if I was to tell her about my day… "yes mom, only a few scratches here and there , oh and by the way, I can transform into a mindless monster driven by rage and instinct now, thanks to an idiot that threw me over chemical waste. Go figure…" he said into an imaginary phone in his hand.

"No, I always thought that they had been spared the pain and worry and fear when really, they already knew. They knew about what I would become, they knew about what I would have to face but specially, they knew about you."

"So it seems. But the way your father described it, he expected another monster fighting at your side… a demon no less"

"But not my mom. Somehow, I knew she would like you. I even told them about you when I went to their graves. I have always been sure they would accept you no matter what and here is the proof…" he said and with a smile, gave her the smaller piece of paper where his mother wrote the note.

Raven read the note at least twice and in her surprise, she kept looking at the ring then read the note again. "She left this for me?" she asked in a whisper. Garfield nodded.

"And even gave us her blessing" he said with a smile.

"I…I don't know what to say…"

Garfield leaned in, kissed he cheek and rested his forehead on hers and said "You don't have to say anything" Raven smiled but her body gave an involuntary shiver. He grabbed both her hands, placed a kiss on each one and pulled her to her feet along with him then pulled her into a hug, rubbing her arms to warm her up. "I'm sorry babe, I forgot you get cold… lest go back inside"

Raven nodded, Garfield put his arms around her shoulders and together walked back to the monastery.

…

…

Cyborg had placed Meliah back on the bed. She was shivering for no apparent reason and her hands trembled when he tried to put the iv back on her left arm. She was looking away the whole time, as if looking beyond the walls. She had not said a word ever since they left the chamber with the paintings. He wasn't sure if the trembling and shivering was part of her symptoms or she had seen something that scared her beyond reason.

When he attached the heart monitor back on her body, the beeping and the screen were going out of control. Her heartbeat had always been twice as fast as everyone else, but this time it was worse and suddenly she started to pant and in a moment later, escalated to hyperventilation. She was having a panic attack. Her eyes were wide open and the claws of her hands appeared and retracted involuntarily.

The sedatives that were pouring into her body thru the iv were not making any effect and tried as he might to get her attention, to get her to calm down, it was useless. He only had one more option and that was to use the syringe he always carried with the concentrated sedative that once had been meant to subdue the Beast in case Beast Boy lost control, but now, he carried it for Meliah in case she lost control again. Although this case wasn't exactly that scenario, it seemed the only thing left for him to do. He only hoped it wouldn't hurt her further.

So, with and arm over her body to try to keep her from convulsing he took the syringe from the compartment in his leg, pulled the cap with his teeth and plunged the needle in her thigh. At first there was no change. She kept convulsing and even ripped the sheets and part of the mattress while trying to hold on to something but then, her movements started to slow down, her heartbeat started to stabilize and finally, she closed her eyes and remained still.

Cyborg sighed loudly, not sure if what he did had been right but, if he waited any longer, she might have gone into cardiac arrest. Although it was a wonder she hadn't suffered one before due to her lifestyle up until now, he was sure she must have heard or seen something she was terrified of.

He hoped Raven would stop by soon and maybe be able to shed some light in the matter, but would probably mean that he would have to explain his earlier behavior but, did it matter? Meliah's life was hanging by a threat, wasn't that reason enough?

A knock on the door took him out of his thoughts and soon the visitor opened the door. It was Robin. He stopped at the door and he looked straight at the bed and the tattered sheets. The sleeping girl seemed perturbed and unsettled.

"What happened?" he asked.

"She had a panic attack, I had to use BB's sedatives to calm her down." Cyborg said, getting off the ground and trying to put things in order.

"Why? What caused it? Was she attacked? Is that demon back?" Robin asked with some urgency, he had closed the door and walked closer to the bed.

"She wasn't attacked, but she must have seen something. BB and I found her in the chamber were the paintings are with father Dawa before she collapsed."

Robin lightly traced her arm with a finger then just as quick, pulled his hand away. "Perfect" said Robin in silent satisfaction. Cyborg noticed this but said nothing.

"Can Raven do something?" Robin asked softly.

Cyborg arched an eyebrow but answered anyway "I don't know Rob, but I'll tell you this, her health is deteriorating fast. I don't have the right equipment here to treat her, we have to go back to the tower before we try anything else. But I'm afraid its getting more complicated. Its going to be risky to move her and have her withstand the long way back "

"I see. I'll talk to Beast Boy and Raven and find out how much longer do they need before we can leave." said Robin as he walked to the door but stopped and looked over his shoulder and said " Get her ready to travel. I think there might be turbulence on the way back. And Cy, can you please let me know when she wakes up?"

"Sure… Robin" Cyborg said, Robin nodded once and exited the room.

…

…

Raven glided silently down the corridors, down the stairs and into the chamber where she had seen the paintings. Funny how everyone first noticed the one with Rage and the Beast first hand.. It never ceased to amaze her. She glided instead of walk, careful not to disturb anything and looked from one painting to another. Some of the images were familiar, others didn't make sense, but as Garfield had mentioned before, she found the ones with the skull.

Her first instinct was to study the scene. Trying to make sense of what it could mean. Raven also noticed how in each one she was depicted as the four, red eye entity that she so much wanted to repress, but just like her, Garfield was depicted only as the Beast. Perhaps, she thought, it's the essence that father Chodak saw. An inner self that was stronger than the image they preferred to live in. but if that was the case, did the skull mean someone was bound to bring death into their family? Or could it mean something more familiar?.

Raven moved from image to image until she found one that she recognized. One that clarified her suspicions. There was also another one further back. She mused at it in sheer wonderment, then looked at the ones around it in hope of finding a pattern but instead, she found the one thing she had not thought of and yet, made all the sense in the world and then, a voice startled her and couldn't help but gasp.

"Young Rinchen, please, forgive my intrusion but I cannot help to think that I made young Garfield very upset. I never thought that his parents would keep such information from him, let alone his birth" father Dawa said as he approached the sorceress.

"Don't worry father Dawa, he's better now. He was just… overwhelmed. You have to understand, he lost his parents in a horrible way. Finding out that they knew about what he would become, came in as a bit of a shock"

"I understand" he said solemnly with a brief bow. "indeed a terrible death. I was devastated when I found out"

"How did you find out" asked Raven with honest curiosity.

"We kept in touch, well after they left the monastery. Every few weeks or so, we would receive a letter but then they stopped. After eight months or so of not receiving news from them, I requested father Chodak permission to go on an expedition with two of my brothers to Africa and find out if they were alright, it was unlikely of Mark or Marie to not communicate longer than a month, but, my petition was denied because right about that time was when I had my bows to pledge to the monastery and our religion and until that happened, I was bound to stay indoors"

"But, brother Kjak volunteered to go in my instead but. I had no choice but to accept. But for a while, we had no news from him either. Three months later, I was able to leave the monastery. It took a while but when I arrived to Africa and asked for them, the news I received were that they had perished along with young Garfield in a boating accident two days prior. You can't imagine my frustration and my sorrow to hear what became of them. My consolation was that they had gone together and none would have to suffer their loss alone. They had been well liked and the locals had arranged a small funeral and carved their graves with great care"

"What about the letter?" asked Raven.

"That was waiting for me here. I arrived a month later along with news of brother Kjak's absence. Months went by until finally we came to the conclusion that he had deserted us. It was years later that he came back, seeking refugee and in the brink of insanity and dementia that he confessed his sins. He told us about the sect he had been part of and what he had done to the young Wangdue. He didn't live long after that. One morning, when father Chodak and I went to his secluded chamber to tend to him, he had cut his wrists and stabbed himself in the stomach."

"Why did you keep him here after he deserted you, after what he did to Meliah?" asked an angry Garfield from the door. No one had heard him come in. He walked towards them and stood next to Raven, who took his hand in hers in comfort.

"Because it was better to keep an eye on him here than let him loose and risk someone else." there was a glimpse of anger that crossed the monk's features for a moment when he said that but just as fast, it was gone. That didn't go unnoticed, then, with a softer expression, he bowed slightly and said "Forgive me brother Garfield, for upsetting you earlier"

Garfield's features visibly relaxed and shook his head and said with a faint smile "Don't be. It wasn't your fault"

"Raven… may I have a word please?" said Robin from the door.

"Of course" she said and started to walk away from Garfield but, he tugged at her hand gently and when she turned around, he put his other hand on her cheek and surprised her with a short, lingering, sweet yet possessive kiss, and even though Raven knew his motives for such public display, she was more than glad to return it.

Robin cleared his throat to get their attention. "Its kind of important" he said when the couple pulled apart. Raven finally let go of Garfield but not before whispering "We'll talk about this later"

"Whatever you say babe" answered Garfield with a wink before she left the chamber.

…

…

Earlier that day

"Come in Michael… Michael, do you read me?!" asked Robin desperately.

"Be quiet Kid, you're going to blow my cover. what's the urgency" said the thief, looking down the corridor to make sure no one was around then went inside an empty room and closed the door.

"The plan failed. Slade healed faster than what we thought. He hacked into the mainframe and he escaped the watchtower. He's now able to pinpoint the location of the other Titans thru the communicators."

"Where is he now?"

"We don't know where he landed. He also stole a jetpack and got rid of the tracking device. He separated himself from the shuttle right after he went thru the atmosphere. . You have to pull the team out of there so we don't risk an attack on the monastery"

"And what do you suggest for me to tell them kid. I thought you said not to let them know yet."

"I know, but the plan changed. you have to get them out of there now. He's coming after the girls" said Robin and the thief saw how the boy wonder readjusted his seatbelt and pressed a variety of buttons on the console around him.

"Look, Meliah is on bed rest and Cyborg is with her. She's not in condition to travel, let alone fight…. Look, I can hack into the communicators as well. Send a diverse signal so Slade looses track. That will give us time…"

"Its too late for that. He's had enough time to map out the coordinates for way too long. Just get them out before he gets there. We cant risk the safety of the monks. For all we know, he's already on his way"

"Alright kid. I'll get them out. Michael out"

…

…

Present

When Raven went outside in the hallway, found Robin with an odd, worried expression. She frown at the sight. Robin never let anything get to him, or at least he never showed it, unless…

"What's the matter?" she asked. Robin had both hands on his waist.

"Cyborg said Meliah had a panic attack. She's sedated now but we need to go. We need to get out of here."

"But why the urgency. Is she that sick? Why the sudden change?" she narrowed her eyes, she was being more stubborn than what he could handle under the circumstances.

"Look beautiful, all I know…" he stopped himself but it was too late. His words were a dead giveaway and he knew it, as did Raven. She arched an eyebrow but said nothing immediately, he sighed and just continued "…All I know is that Robin's plan failed and Slade escaped the watchtower. He's using the communicators to track us down and apparently is after you girls. We need to go now so we don't risk an attack to this place"

"Where is Robin now…" but Raven was interrupted by the rumble of an explosion in the upper level. Garfield came running out of the chamber followed closely by father Dawa.

"Raven, are you ok, what was that?"

There was silence for a moment and there was smoke and dust coming down their way on the hallway. But muffled steps were approaching and from a shadow among the smoke, Slade walked out. Hands behind his back and with a humorless chuckle, he said "That, my dear Beast Boy, was me, ringing the bell" he walked closer while the Titans took their fighting positions.

"I have to handed to you Michael, you have courage to pose as your donor"

"What?" said Garfield, involuntarily looking at the Robin only a few feet away from him.

"I have to say Raven. I'm disappointed. From all the people I would have thought you wouldn't miss such detail"

"What do you want Slade" said Raven greeting her teeth but another explosion resonated behind them, making the heroes fall on the ground. Garfield was protecting Raven from the falling rubble and Michael had jumped behind father Dawa and shoved him into the chamber he had come out of. There was a pained scream coming down the hallway that Cyborg let out and after another silent interlude, several metal feet were making their way to them.

As the heroes and the thief got up from the floor, a mechanical arm was thrown by their feet, then a leg, then the remaining parts of Cyborg's body was dropped at their feet unceremoniously while the slade-bots made their way with their targets. Starfire and Meliah were being dragged by the arms and were unconscious.

Slade turned to Raven and said "Simple my dear Raven, I want revenge" and at that moment, another slade-bot threw a bomb at the group and when it exploded, cracked the walls around them and more rubble fell from the weak ceiling. When the smoke and dust dissipated enough, Slade walked in search for the remaining Titans but they were gone. No trace left, except for Cyborg's pieces.

"hmmmm, pity" Slade said and walked over the broken titan and entered the chamber with the paintings and after looking around found father Dawa, recovering from the fall and the explosion. he smiled to himself and said "What do we have here?"