Author's Note: Hey all, I'm back! And don't worry, of course Sara is coming back soon; otherwise it wouldn't be quincest! So just chill, sit back, and enjoy ;) This chapter is not for the faint of heart!
Chapter 13: I Watch Your Things Like I Watch Your Face
When Jamie awoke the next morning, she was alone in Tegan's bed, the late morning sun painting patterns on the pale blue bedroom wall. She slowly sat up and looked over at Tegan's tear-stained pillow, once again struggling to call up memories of the previous evening, which seemed more like dreams than her dreams had. She climbed out of bed and followed the smell of coffee to the living room, where Tegan was already at the computer, watching Jamie's footage and picking out clips. Jamie came up behind Tegan and put her hands on Tegan's shoulders. "Hey," she said gently.
"Morning," Tegan said, putting one hand over Jamie's and giving it a soft squeeze.
"I thought you would sleep til noon at least," Jamie said, pulling a chair over and sitting close to Tegan, watching the computer screen.
"Me too, actually. . ." she said, closing the file she'd been viewing and clicking on the next one, "but once I woke up once, I just couldn't. . . I just kept. . ." She couldn't find the words to finish, but didn't need to. After a moment, she put a hand on Jamie's knee and looked at her. "Thanks for. . . for the. . ." she started and stopped again, at a loss. Jamie smiled sympathetically and nodded.
"How are you feeling?" she asked gently. Tegan looked back at the screen, and shrugged, but her eyes had quickly become shiny. With her fingertips, Jamie turned Tegan's face towards hers, held Tegan's face between her hands, and kissed her, very tenderly, for a few seconds. When the kiss ended and they looked at each other again, Jamie saw Tegan's eyes quickly fill up and threaten to spill. She looked up at the ceiling and took a breath.
"I'm not going to cry all day today like a fucking spastic," Tegan said firmly.
"Okay. What are you going to spend all day doing today, then?" she asked, with a suggestive grin that managed to make Tegan laugh a little.
"Well, when we arrived we had five hundred sixty two hours of footage to edit," she said. "And now we have. . . let's see. . . five hundred and fifty eight." Jamie laughed.
"Yeah. Maybe we need a schedule or something?"
"Yeah," Tegan said. "Like, ten o'clock until ten fifteen: editing. Ten fifteen to one thirty:
crying hysterically. . ."
"Schedule some time in for yogurt," Jamie suggested and Tegan nodded.
"Yep, one thirty to one forty: yogurt. One forty to five thirty: hot sex. . ."
"Wow," Jamie said, blushing again, but only slightly.
"Five-thirty to six forty-five: crying again. . ."
"Maybe crying in the bath?" Jamie suggested, and Tegan nodded approvingly.
"Totally. Crying in the bath and then four thirty to five fifteen: vomiting," Tegan said.
"And more crying," Jamie agreed.
"And by then it must be time for more sex," Tegan said with a laugh.
"Absolutely," Jamie said. Tegan leaned close and tentatively kissed her.
"Maybe like, now would be a good time for –"
"I thought the same thing. . ." Jamie said.
"It's not one forty yet," Tegan pointed out, one hand creeping up Jamie's thigh.
"It probably is, somewhere," Jamie said, and they kissed again.
They actually did get some editing done later, in between periods of long, slow kisses; breathless, intense ones; bodies moving together on Tegan's bed and, at one point, the living room floor. They found time to go out and eat something other than yogurt at one point as well, in between a few hours of editing and a few hours of nakedness. They even took a shower together later in the evening, washing a day spent in bed together off of each other before ending up back in bed again. For Jamie, seeing Tegan completely fall apart and helping to put her back together had alleviated much of her shyness. They didn't talk about Sara, about the situation Tegan was in, about her assertion that she was sick. Jamie did what she could to keep Tegan's mind off of those things, either by chatting and joking with her, by keeping her attention on work, or by physically moving her attention elsewhere. Sex, obviously, was a very good distraction, but that itself was inextricable from what troubled Tegan's mind. That evening, after Jamie had washed Tegan's body, when she slowly kissed all the way down Tegan's belly and along her inner thighs, Tegan would not let go of her hand, and before Jamie had gotten any farther, Tegan had panicked and pulled on Jamie's hand.
"Wait—" came Tegan's voice, thick with arousal doused in fear. "I can't, no, I'm. . I'm not. .."
Jamie kissed Tegan's inner thighs and returned to her again.
"I'm sorry," Tegan said to her after one kiss, her voice heavy with shame. "I'm not. . . I don't feel. . . um. . . clean enough. . . for you." She looked away, her face reddening.
"You are clean enough for anyone," Jamie had said, kissing her again. "There's nothing dirty about you." They lay beside each other, and Jamie softly caressed Tegan's belly as she spoke.
"You're not disgusted to. . . do that. . . when you know about. . . ummmm. . ."
"Not disgusted. Not even slightly," Jamie said. "Nothing about you disgusts me. Well. . . it disgusts me a little that you aren't kissing me right now—"
Tegan's mouth was on Jamie's before she could say anything else.
…
The late afternoon sun slanted in the bedroom windows and hundreds of hours of unwatched video waited on the computer. Jamie brushed a hand over the tiger tattoo. Tegan, laying on her stomach with her head on her forearms, opened her eyes.
"Hmm?" she said. "Oh, I guess I fell asleep a little bit. Did you finish editing the footage?"
"Yep," Jamie laughed. "I finished the remaining five hundred hours while you were sleeping."
"That's good. Because that's what you're here for." Jamie snorted, tracing the tiger's face with her forefinger as Tegan rubbed her eyes and returned to consciousness.
"So. . . do you want to tell me what this really means?" she asked, as Tegan watched Jamie's hand move over her skin. She hesitated, with half a smile that fell at the end. A slight sigh.
"Yeah, it's like. . . it's all connected to. . . um. . . how it all started. . . with Sara. . ." Tegan started to explain, propping her chin up in her hands. Jamie lay on her back next to Tegan.
"How did it all start?" Jamie asked gently. Tegan thought about that, biting at her thumbnail. Jamie put a hand on Tegan's wrist and pulled her hand gently away from her mouth. Tegan took a breath.
"Well. . . " she started. "I guess it all started with a t-shirt. Well, a song and a t-shirt. . ." she said inexplicably. Jamie raised her eyebrows and watched Tegan's thoughtful face. With nothing to fiddle with and no fingernails to bite, it was harder for her to avoid Jamie's eyes.
"A t-shirt?" Jamie said encouragingly.
"It was. . . I guess we were sixteen. . . and I wrote a song. . . for Sara. . ." Jamie watched her quietly as her face reddened.
"Is it a song I would know?" she asked. Tegan shook her head quickly.
"No. We couldn't perform it, I mean. . . uh, a lot of my songs have been about Sara but there was. . . um, I could always like, make it sound like it was about something else. But this one, it was about Sara and I, we usually didn't play songs for each other, like. . . but I wanted to sing it to her and so I did. And, um. . . when I finished she just looked at me, and before I knew what was happening, she. . . she kissed me. . . so, we kissed and then. . . it was like, we were both so scared. Like we were scared but we kept kissing and like, we. . . we couldn't stop, and. . . Sara had this really cheesy t-shirt she'd bought like at the Army Navy," Tegan laughed a little, but it wasn't a happy laugh. "She was wearing that shirt, um. . . I mean, I held onto the t-shirt when we. . . when we. . ." Tegan's face burned. Jamie touched her arm, stroked the tiger softly.
"Okay," she said gently.
"Anyway, we both freaked out. I. . . Sara freaked out especially. After that, we fought a lot. We just stopped getting along. We stopped talking, everything. It's like, she pushed me away, she was so upset, and angry, and we just. . . we avoided being alone in a room together and. . . like, we couldn't be alone in a room together. We went to therapy. For a long time. But we couldn't ever tell anyone the real reason we were fighting, not even the therapists, so nothing ever helped. And we tried to forget it had happened. . . and it didn't happen again. Sara moved to Montreal to keep. . . to stop it. . ." Tegan's voice thickened and she swallowed. Jamie brushed her hair back from Tegan's forehead as she stared down at the sheets.
"Did you keep the t-shirt?" Jamie asked, and Tegan looked at her with surprise.
"Haha, yeah. Um. . . we were fighting and not talking and it was just awful and I would. . . uh, I would like, just um. . . like sleep with the shirt. . ." Tegan shook her head, bitterness twisting her mouth momentarily.
"That's sweet," Jamie said gently. Tegan took a breath.
"I mean, I missed her so much but we would tour and see each other but it wasn't the same, she. . . she hated me. . ."
"She never hated you," Jamie said. "She was afraid."
"Well. . . then, she met Emy, and I think she wanted. . . I think she was happy, um, to have a, um, a normal life. . . for a while, and I was happy for her, but I, um, I couldn't. . . I couldn't. . . um. . ." Tegan swallowed again and took a deep breath. "Anyway, after, um, it was after she broke up with Emy, and then. . . she was so devastated and she came to stay with me. . . she just didn't want to be in Montreal and everything that reminded her of like, her broken life, and how she'd tried to, like, get away. From me. I think. And so she came to me and she was so broken. She'd just cry and I'd hold her in my bed and. . . she found that t-shirt under my pillow, that stupid tiger t-shirt. . ." Tegan closed her eyes and said nothing for a moment. Jamie thought she would cry again, maybe, but after a moment she went on. "Well she found the t-shirt and. . . we. . . um, we. . . it happened again. . . God, this must make you sick."
"No," Jamie said. "It doesn't." Tegan rolled to face Jamie, and Jamie did the same. "Go on," Jamie said with a smile, propping her head on her hand.
"Uh. . . well, after that it was like, we were dying. I mean, it was like we felt like we had to be together or we'd die, but. . . after we would, like. . . after we'd. . . um. . . Sara would just be so angry. . . and. . . I mean, I don't think. . . I don't know if it's our fault because like. . . I kind of think we were. . . made this way," she said. "It's fucked up and twisted but like. . . it's like it was coming our whole lives." Jamie nodded. "And now it's just. . . if our family found out, or our band. . . our managers. . . our fans. . . our career would be done and our family would be. . ." Tegan's voice failed a little.
"Yeah," Jamie said, not sure how else to respond.
"And we somehow created this. . . life, just, just so we could be together. . . all the time. . . and at the same time, that. . . is what could. . . um. . . I mean, we'd just lose. . . everything," Tegan whispered. Jamie met her eyes, scared and pained. "Don't you think so?" Jamie had thought about that a good deal over the last few months.
"Well. . ." she started gently, "I guess. . . I mean. . . you'd lose some fans. And probably some friends. But not everyone," she said. "But. . . yeah. I. . . can't imagine how it could affect your career but. . . it wouldn't be good." Tegan nodded, and she closed her eyes.
"I don't know why we're like this, I mean. . . why are we like this? I just want to be normal but I. . . need her." Jamie swallowed and looked at the tattoo again, closely.
"It's like the two of you are in a cage," she mused. "You have the megaphone and you want to tell everyone, but Sara's there, pulling you back and you're. . . imprisoned."
"Yeah," she said simply. "And there's no way out." Tegan rolled onto her back and looked up at the ceiling for a while, saying nothing. Jamie lay there, watching Tegan's face, her fingers gently stroking the tattoo still.
"Do you really think so?" she asked softly, and Tegan turned her eyes to Jamie, momentarily lost.
"Hmm?"
"There's no way out," Jamie clarified. Tegan's eyes remained on hers, her forehead furrowed.
"Yeah. It's like, we can't. . . be together. It's just impossible. But we can't be apart either. We've tried and it's just. . . " her voice trailed off. Jamie lay a hand on Tegan's belly, feeling her warmth through the soft cotton of her t-shirt.
"I don't know," Jamie started tentatively. "Maybe there's a way. I mean. . . maybe it will never be like a really. . . open. . . relationship, but maybe you can find a way to be together. . . somehow. . ." She struggled with these words, these ideas, with how much she hoped it could be true for Tegan's sake, how much she doubted it in her own heart, and how much she wished for something else entirely. Tegan lay her hand over Jamie's and sighed. After a moment, Tegan looked up at Jamie and smiled sadly, shook her head. "And hey, I can be your cover, if you want," Jamie said. Tegan raised her eyebrows as Jamie's hand traced down Tegan's belly and around to her hip. At this touch, Tegan rolled to face Jamie.
"Huh? How's that?" she asked with a grin.
"I mean, go places with you, be seen in public, pretend to be your girlfriend. . ." Jamie smiled but a pained look crossed Tegan's face.
"Oh, Jamie, you-"
Jamie quickly put two fingers against Tegan's lips.
"Nope," Jamie said lightly. She held her fingers there for a moment, and as soon as she moved them, Tegan spoke again.
"I didn't mean-"
"Shush," Jamie said, this time clamping a hand over her mouth. "Don't say it." Jamie's eyes locked on Tegan's for a few moments, and she moved her hand, and again, Tegan spoke.
"It isn't-"
"How am I going to shut you up?" Jamie asked, and answered her own question by pressing her lips quickly against Tegan's. Tegan kissed her back, slipping one hand around Jamie's waist as Jamie's hand moved over the front of Tegan's shirt, tracing the shape of her breast, causing Tegan to inhale sharply. With a hand on Jamie's hip, Tegan pulled her closer, brought their hips together, and kissed her deeply, sliding one hand down Jamie's leg and pulling Jamie's knee up and over her own hip.
"Ha," Tegan whispered. "I like your legs around me." Jamie gave a very short, breathless laugh.
"Really? Weird. Because it has absolutely no effect on me," she said, kissing Tegan again on the lips, and then the neck. Tegan snorted a little.
"Oh yeah. Tell yourself that. Basically, you can't keep your hands off me and you know it," Tegan said with false bravado, rolling Jamie onto her back.
"Yeah, we'll see about that," Jamie said. Tegan grinned.
"Both your legs are around me now," she pointed out needlessly as she lay on top of Jamie, her hips between Jamie's thighs.
"Yep," Jamie said with a shrug. "Whatever."
"Oh, whatever, did you say?" Tegan asked, propping herself up above Jamie's face. After a moment of looking into her eyes, Tegan kissed her again, and increased the pressure of her pelvis against Jamie's. A tiny sound came from Jamie's throat; Tegan maintained the pressure with her hips. She moved her face away from Jamie's, just a little.
"What?" she asked in a mock quiet voice.
"Hmm?" Jamie asked, very distracted by the pressure of Tegan's hips between her legs.
"You made a sound," Tegan said with a grin. "Like a tiny little moan."
"What? No way," Jamie scoffed, as Tegan's laughing eyes were on hers, Tegan's belly pulsing against hers with every breath.
"You did. It was like, mmm. . ."
"I was clearing my throat, maybe," Jamie said. Tegan smirked at her.
"You're kind of pink," Tegan said.
"You're kind of smug," Jamie replied.
"Why are you pink?"
"It's hot in here. Can you open a window?"
Tegan's mouth was on hers again, the kiss long and intense, and Jamie's hands moved up Tegan's sides, barely grazing the sides of her breasts, up her neck and into her hair. She crossed her ankles over Tegan's lower back.
Tegan looked at Jamie's face again, and this time she too was pink, and they were both a little breathless.
"If it's so whatever," Tegan started, "why are your legs wrapped around me?" Jamie shrugged unconvincingly.
"It's comfortable," she said.
"It doesn't feel like whatever when you kiss me," Tegan said in a low voice, their faces close together.
"Oh yeah?" Jamie responded, trying but failing to keep her breathing even. "What does it feel like?"
"It feels like you want to. . ." Tegan didn't finish the sentence, but pressed her hips down against Jamie's again, and Jamie took a breath.
"Haha," Jamie breathed. "Speak for yourself. . ." Tegan's hand slid over the soft fabric of her shirt, up her ribs, and over her chest.
"Your nipples are hard," Tegan murmured. "Why is that?"
"It's cold in here," Jamie said.
"You just said it was hot," Tegan pointed out.
"Shut up," Jamie murmured back and, quite suddenly, rolled Tegan onto her back and kissed her hard, one thigh pressing down between Tegan's legs. Jamie placed one hand on Tegan's ribs, below her breast, and held it there, unmoving as they kissed, Tegan's hands sliding from Jamie's hips, tugging at her shirt. Another kiss, and Tegan released a slight, impatient whimper into Jamie's mouth, took hold of Jamie's hand, and clutched it, squeezed it against her own breast. Jamie smiled against Tegan's lips, briefly, heated more by the sensation of Tegan's soft flesh beneath her t-shirt, by the sensation of Tegan's hips pressing insistently up against her thigh.
"Jamie," Tegan suddenly said, taking a breath. "Will you. . . do something for me?" she asked, her face still flushed. Jamie nodded.
"Yes," she said, letting Tegan get up, and Tegan kissed her once and quickly left the room. Jamie lay there, heat filling her up, catching her breath. Tegan came back, carrying a small, black drawstring bag. Jamie sat up on the bed, as Tegan climbed back onto it and, to Jamie's surprise, sat straddling her lap.
"What's. . . in the bag?" Jamie asked tentatively, almost knowing, feeling the warmth and weight of Tegan's body on her lap and all the things that did to her. Tegan didn't say anything but, after a pause, slowly drew out a leather harness with its silicone accessory. Tegan turned it over in her hands wordlessly and Jamie looked at her red cheeks, her dark eyes fixed on it. Sara used that on her, Jamie thought, with a little lurch in her guts.
"So, who. . ." Jamie started, getting a little bit shy again. Tegan met her eyes briefly, and guessed the rest of the sentence. She slid back a little and set the harness on Jamie's lap.
"Usually Sara-" Tegan started, flushed deeper, and stopped, biting her lower lip. Jamie looked up at her red face, kissed her lips again once, and then twice, feeling the urgency in the pressure of Tegan's lips. "Let me. . .um. . . can I. . .?" Tegan murmured, questioning, meeting Jamie's eyes quickly as Jamie nodded slightly. Tegan took hold of Jamie's shorts and peeled them down her thighs along with her underwear. Tossing the shorts aside, Tegan moved down Jamie's legs and slipped the harness over her feet, sliding up. Jamie held her breath, raised her knees up as Tegan moved the harness up her thighs and then fastened it around her hips, pulling on the D-rings until it was snug. Jamie said nothing, watched Tegan quietly working and when she was done, the strap-on was firmly attached to her pelvis, the base of it pressed against her. She felt both ridiculous and excited at the same time. She looked up at Tegan and saw a slightly different mix of arousal and shame. Jamie reached up and put one hand on the back of Tegan's neck and kissed her.
"Whatever you want," Jamie said in a low voice and, for a few seconds, their eyes met, and Tegan grasped her face, kissing her intensely. Jamie returned the kiss with equal intensity, peeling Tegan's shorts and underwear down her thighs with both hands. Tegan kicked them off, pressing her body down against Jamie's. Jamie's hands took hold of Tegan's hips; Tegan's hands moved through Jamie's hair and around her neck. There was more pressure behind this kiss than the others; when Tegan released Jamie from the kiss, they both took a breath, surprised, heated.
"Jamie, are you attracted to me?" Tegan asked her, voice husky, her mouth moving down to Jamie's neck.
"Yes. . . God. . ." Jamie said breathlessly as Tegan pulled Jamie's t-shirt over her head and cast it aside.
"Why?" Tegan breathed as Jamie did the same with Tegan's t-shirt.
"So many reasons," Jamie said, sliding her hands up Tegan's thighs, around to her ass.
"Tell me," Tegan said.
"Your mouth," Jamie said, looking up at Tegan's lips just above hers. Tegan kissed her again, and Jamie sucked on Tegan's lower lip just before Tegan's tongue brushed over hers again, the kiss deep and intense.
"What else?" Tegan murmured a few moments later, her breath heavy, their faces close together. Jamie slid her hands up Tegan's sides and stroked her breasts slowly, causing Tegan to close her eyes tight as she pressed her pelvis against Jamie, against the strap-on.
"These. . . and the rest of your body. . . all of it," Jamie breathed, and, quite suddenly, Tegan pushed Jamie back down on the bed, her mouth on Jamie's neck, her collarbone, her breasts. With one hand, Jamie reached down and took hold of the strap-on, which was pressed between her body and Tegan's, and pulled it upwards so that it pressed against the most sensitive part of Tegan. Tegan gasped, and met Jamie's eyes, her face pink and hot.
"Come on," Jamie said in a low voice. Tegan reached one hand down and took hold of it; Jamie grabbed Tegan's hips and eased her into position and, slowly exhaling, Tegan slid down onto the strap-on, squeezing Jamie's hips with her knees, the base of the strap-on pressing against Jamie. Jamie looked up at Tegan, leaning over her, her bangs falling over her eyes, as her hips slowly and insistently started rocking against Jamie's body. Jamie's hands gripped Tegan's thighs, her hips, pulling her down onto it as Tegan continued grinding against her; she watched Tegan's body moving over hers, at the urgent rolling of her hips, her eyes closed, her mouth slightly open, and that scene, coupled with the rhythmic pressure of the base of the strap-on against her body, flooded Jamie with throbbing heat. Tegan lowered her upper body closer to Jamie's and kissed her, the softness of her breasts pressed against Jamie's with each thrust of Tegan's hips, her breath raspy, moans deep in her throat, getting there, getting closer. Jamie could feel herself getting closer, too, as she felt Tegan's damp, hot face against her neck. Jamie's hands found their way back to Tegan's hips and, without pulling out, she deftly flipped Tegan over, onto her back, and pushed down into her.
"Oooooh," came Tegan's heavy moan as she clenched her thighs and locked her ankles around Jamie's lower back.
Jamie maintained Tegan's rhythm and intensified it, her hips thrusting deeper as Tegan's nails dug into her back. They gasped together, moaned together as Jamie's body responded to the pressure, to the movement of her hips against Tegan's body, to the heat and the slickness of their naked bodies sliding against each other to the sound of Tegan's moans intensifying painfully in her ears.
Jamie could see it happening; Tegan desperately rocking her hips in time with Jamie's; her head back; her mouth open just a little. Jamie lowered her face once more and gave her a long, deep kiss before increasing the pressure, the depth of the thrusts, watching Tegan's flushed face and feeling Tegan's thighs around her hips start to tremble. Her voice rose, higher, and her hands slid lower, grabbing Jamie's ass and pulling Jamie's body into her as she squeezed with her legs.
"Oh. . ." Tegan cried out, the redness in her face deepening, her head back. Jamie tasted the salty skin on Tegan's straining neck as Tegan gripped her ass more tightly. She felt the spasms in Tegan's thighs as she cried out again. "Oh fuck!" she gasped with each thrust of Jamie's hips, "oh fuck. . . oh fuck. . . oh fuck. . . oh. . ." She threw one arm around Jamie's neck, pulling her down tight and, with another convulsive cry of "fuck," biting into Jamie's shoulder. Jamie moaned in response as a few more thrusts carried her over the edge; she collapsed on top of Tegan with a startled cry, as the inside of her clenched and pulsed, Tegan's limbs still around her, their chests heaving together.
"God," Tegan breathed again as Jamie moaned again against her neck, and then her mouth. Jamie slid her hips and pressed into Tegan again, causing Tegan to shudder and gasp and grip the hot wet skin of Jamie's back. It was quicker this time; Jamie pressed inside of her, deeply, thrusting their hips together, steadily, then more quickly, and harder, until Tegan came again, with a sharp exhalation, a deep breath, and then a trembling cry. Jamie gasped too as Tegan squeezed her with her thighs, very tightly, Tegan's spasms shaking Jamie's body. Tegan's chest rose and fell against Jamie's; their naked bellies, hot and wet, pressed and pulsed together, rose and fell together as they lay there, Jamie on top of Tegan, Tegan's arms and legs wrapped around Jamie.
"Oh," she moaned again as Jamie kissed her, tasting her parched tongue. Jamie felt Tegan spasm again against her body, as they lay together, catching their breath. Tegan's face was still damp and flushed, her breathing quick and deep, when Jamie felt hands on her hips, pulling her, gripping her and, while she was still inside, Tegan pressing her hips up against Jamie's body. Jamie looked into Tegan's dark eyes; Tegan's thighs were still trembling slightly against her hips, and Tegan looked back at her intensely, unable to speak.
"More?" Jamie asked, her throat dry. Tegan just nodded, closing her eyes, breathing deeply through her mouth. Jamie leaned closer and kissed her for a few slow seconds; she shifted and pushed her hips down into Tegan again; Tegan took a breath, her face tense. When she shut her eyes tight, for a moment, Jamie stopped moving.
"Am I hurting you?" she asked, and Tegan grabbed and squeezed her hips again.
"Don't. . . stop," Tegan whispered intensely, so Jamie didn't. She pushed deeply and slowly and Tegan's arms encircled Jamie's back, gripping, squeezing as Jamie thrust into her again. The rhythm intensified as Tegan pulled Jamie to her, pressing up against her. Tegan found one of Jamie's hands, and their fingers clasped together. Tegan squeezed Jamie's hand, hard, as their bodies rocked together. Jamie watched Tegan's face as she slid into her, again and again, and while the tense, pained look on Tegan's face told her to stop, Tegan's free hand, grasping her body, holding onto her, told her otherwise. Tegan's breaths quickened and the sound through her clenched teeth became an agonizing moan. Jamie shifted her weight higher on Tegan's hips, so she could push even more deeply, pressing Tegan's knees back as she increased the movement of her hips. Tegan pulled her hand free and wrapped both arms around Jamie's body, squeezing with all four limbs as her gasping breaths changed to whimpers, and then words.
"Oooooh fuck," Tegan moaned, putting one hand around Jamie's neck and pulling her face down closer. Jamie did not relent, and soon she could feel tremors through Tegan's thighs around her waist, Tegan's hands trembling on her neck and face. "Ooooooh," came another pained cry, as Jamie struggled to maintain the rhythm despite another building wave inside of her in response to Tegan's red face and whimpering moans. Unable to stop it, she moaned as she started to come, and managed to thrust deeper and faster for a few more moments until Tegan's body tensed all over as she arched her back, squeezing Jamie hard enough to force the air out of her lungs, with a sharp gasp and a long, aching cry. Jamie felt the contractions inside of her mirrored more intensely by those that shook Tegan's body against hers, her head all the way back and eyes squeezed shut; they shuddered together, deep gasping breaths. Jamie wasn't aware of the tight grip Tegan had on her back until Tegan's body went limp and her grip softened. They lay there together, tangled up in each other, sweat cooling, as their breathing slowly returned to normal. Tegan's eyes were closed still, but the tension in her face was gone. She released her leg-hold on Jamie's waist, and took Jamie's face between her hands, kissing her tenderly once and then twice and then dropping her head back onto the pillow. Jamie could still feel Tegan's thighs trembling against hers; Tegan's belly, too, spasmed, more than once, and each time it did, she took a breath, and Jamie felt both against the hot, wet skin of her own stomach. Jamie lay still, inside, for a while longer, kissing Tegan softly and gently brushing the sweat from her forehead, until at last she slowly and carefully withdrew from Tegan's body.
"Ah-ah-ah," Tegan gasped, tensing up again as it left her.
"Are you okay?" Jamie asked her softly, and she nodded, breathless. Jamie smoothed her hair back again, kissed her hot face, her eyelids. Tegan placed a hand on Jamie's face and kissed her lips again.
"I love you," Jamie breathed, without thinking, before she could stop herself. Tegan, still breathing a little heavily, looked into her eyes.
"I know."