A/N: Still so floored by the amount of support this little one-shot-turned-fic is receiving! =) Thank you! I'm glad my ideas are making sense and you're all enjoying it. haha! Well, I'm getting busier and busier as 2013 is going by, but I'm still trying to write as much as I can during my spare time. Also, I need to occupy myself while all the OUAT breaks are happening, so that helps. Can't wait to hear what you all think of this next one! Enjoy. =) xx IFHD

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Chapter 12: Hope and Desperation

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Inspired by:

"Sail"

By: AWOLNATION

Sail!

This is how I show my love
I made it in my mind because
I blame it on my A.D.D. baby

This is how an angel dies
I blame it on my own sick pride
Blame it on my A.D.D. baby

Sail!
Sail!
Sail!
Sail!
Sail!

Maybe I should cry for help
Maybe I should kill myself (myself)
Blame it on my A.D.D. baby

Maybe I'm a different breed
Maybe I'm not listening
So blame it on my A.D.D. baby

Sail with me into the dark
Sail!
Sail with me, sail with me
Sail!

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Hook simply surveyed Emma through dark, narrowed eyes as she ran through Storybrooke's wharf and disappeared into the distance with the key to destroying the Crocodile. Instead of taking flight after them, however, the pirate merely sheathed his sword, swirled upon his heels, and stalked back to his cabin in silence. Did he just allow his opportune chance to slip through his fingers? he brooded inwardly. ...Or would there be other moments that will present themselves to him in the near future?

When he shut himself inside the dark, damp room, the scent of a mixture of the sea and rum triggered memories of desperation and sacrifice to flood his mind.

Flashback - Fairytale Land

"C'mon, lad, have another one! Give it a go, eh?" A mug of dark ale found itself in front of Killian's nose as it slid upon the ragged, tavern table. His hands expertly caught the drink before anymore spillage occurred. He examined the darkened liquid through already blurry vision as the encouraging voice continued to roar in his ear, "You're a man now, you are! Time to lead by example and show our fine crew what Cap'n Blackbeard's first mate can do!"

Killian rolled his eyes good-naturedly at his father's prodding and accompanying chortle. The triple title of Blackbeard's son, first mate, and the youngest on board the Revenge had some negative aspects; but, he reasoned, being forced to drown himself in ale was perhaps not one of them. After all, he had grown accustomed to the endless riling and rowdy dispositions of his crew after all these years, so, by definition, tonight was merely a night similar to many past. After a slight pause, he grasped the mug's handle and held it upwards in salute to the present crew of more than two dozen men. Littered around the tiny establishment, they stared at him with twinkling eyes, expectant of another fine performance. "To gold, rum, and beautiful women!" Killian shouted cheerfully. To his comrades' raucous cries, he then downed the ale in a greedy chug in one go. When he slammed the empty mug upon the table and whooped in triumph, he continued inwardly: To finding my mother.

Blackbeard slapped Killian's back repeatedly and eyed him with pride. "That's my boy." The burly man gave a chuckle, then nudged his son playfully. The older man motioned his head inconspicuously to their right. "It seems as though you've become the target prey of several women in this tavern."

To have the now infamous Captain Blackbeard of the mighty vessel Revenge teasing him about women reminded Killian that, when all titles were set aside, Edward was still his father. However, the reputation that Blackbeard had made for himself and the crew had spread throughout the land and beyond over the years, and they were simultaneously revered and feared. Most men who crossed their paths and meant them harm regretted ever doing so; and, as it turned out, most women who crossed Killian's path never regretted doing so. That he was ever so pleasing to the eye also spread throughout the land and beyond and, before Killian himself barely even realized it, he had already borne and stirred a reputation of his own. How it began, he would never know; however, he did begin to realize that not all conquests were merely in the form of gold.

And yet, something always seemed to hold him back from giving his heart truly and entirely.

Hook twisted his head to where his father had beckoned with minor interest. The women who pinned for the young pirate giggled at his reaction, blushed, and quickly looked away...only to stare at him further after a few moments. Killian threw them an appreciative nod, a half smile, then turned back to his father entirely. "They are comely, aye, but I desire a woman who stirs my heart completely."

Blackbeard gave out an amused hoot (and had almost choked on his drink) as he promptly ruffled Killian's mussed hair. "Dear boy, as long as women stir your...erm...how shall I put this?" He snapped his sausage-like fingers, then grinned widely. "Your...hook, that is all that matters!"

Killian groaned. "Father, I know you mean to use women to ease my troubled thoughts, but I do not want to be distracted from our true purpose. Time is not a luxury that we have. Not when..."

At this statement, Blackbeard's smile faded. He cleared his throat, then gave Killian a curt nod. "Aye. Dear boy, know that we have only stopped over at this port of Providence for supplies and will not remain for long. You have my word that we will sail out in the morning and continue our quest."

Killian nodded. A part of him regretted ruining his father's night to amuse himself - to forget, even if only for a few hours - of the demons that haunted their lives. And yet, how could Killian will himself to forget the journey that they were currently on? So many years have passed, but they were still sailing this land's seas in order to obtain the magic that could take them to Neverland - to Wendy. Closer and closer they were to finding the fairies who could grant their wishes; and yet, they were still empty-handed after so long.

Was there anyone even remotely receptive to their plight?

The pirate crew began to trail and stumble out of the tavern shortly after midnight at the behest of their captain. Though the night was still young, they were ordered to replenish their supplies make preparations for dawn. Killian strode beside his father at the lead and, surprisingly, both men were still able to manage the straight walk to the docks.

"Captain Blackbeard. I have been searching for you."

A hooded and cloaked figure appeared from the shadows and walked towards the path of the crew. Though the moonlight illuminated his meagre form, the darkness still shielded his face.

Without a moment of hesitation, Blackbeard unsheathed his sword and stood in a defensive position. Killian mirrored his actions. The captain snarled, "Who are you? What is your business with me?"

"Zoso, at your service." The man placed his hand upon his heart and gave the pirates a gracious bow.

"The Dark One." Blackbeard muttered under his breath. He took a step back and threw Killian a warning look. Distrust and danger lurked in his eyes. By this point, Killian remembered the stories that his father had told him when he was only a boy about the man who couldn't be killed by mortal blows - the man, or creature, who could only be killed with a particular dagger...

...and what that dagger would subsequently do to the killer.

"Ah, so you have heard of me. Wonderful!"

Blackbeard's tension didn't abate. "State your business!"

In three strides, Zoso enclosed the space between him and the blade of Blackbeard's sword. The amused expression on his wrinkled, war-torn face didn't abate; in fact, it only magnified. With a flick of his wrist, the weapons transformed into purple dust. "You and your men are quite transient, cap'n," he then pulled a white, almost transparent bean from his trouser pocket and held it enticingly in front of Blackbeard's pointed nose, "but I persisted with my search for you, as I know desperate souls when I see them."

The captain's eyes grew wide at the sight, and he eagerly reached for the white bean.

Zoso retracted his hand abruptly. He exposed his yellow teeth in a grotesque smirk. "Ah ah ah! Not so fast, cap'n!"

Blackbeard bared teeth and snarled, "What do you want?"

"There is a price for everything." The sorcerer sneered at this question and eyed both Blackbeard and Killian. "And if you want your dear Wendy back, then I suggest you be willing to pay it."

Blackbeard considered his words for a few moments. Killian, in contrast, bravely stepped forward without a second thought. "Name it."

"Killian!" hissed Blackbeard in a warning tone.

Zoso nonchalantly waved off the captain's reaction and eyed Killian with marked interest. "You, boy, have spirit." The sorcerer was silent for a brief moment as he contemplated. "I was to ask something of you, Blackbeard, but now I have had a change of heart." His coal-black eyes landed upon Killian's taut face once more. "The boy."

Blackbeard gritted his teeth and stepped forward. His entire form shook. "You are not taking my son from me!"

"Your boy will serve under our Duke. Wouldn't that make you a proud father?" Zoso attempted to smile, though his gruesome face could only manage what was comparable to a grimace. "He fights in The Ogre Wars, oh cap'n my cap'n, or you will never see your beloved Wendy ever again." The Dark One restated as he clasped his hands behind his back, "Whatever you choose, pirate, is of no consequence to me. But if you do not make a decision now, I shall retract my offer and..."

"Wait." Killian pursed his lips into a thin line. He held out his arm in desperation. "I will go."

Blackbeard instantly grasped Killian's upper arm. "Son, I forbid it."

Killian faced his father, his expression unrelenting. "Use his magic and find mother."

"The Ogre Wars...you'll never make it out alive."

With teeth clenched, Killian replied with a morose, "This is the best chance that we have, father."

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The sombre procession of pirates boarded Revenge in a single file. As the crew prepared to set sail, they couldn't help but glance at their former first mate from time to time, who now stood beside the Dark One on the docks. Killian maintained a hard countenance as he made eye contact with Blackbeard.

The ship began to ease away further from the harbour.

Blackbeard felt the bean in his fingertips, then tossed several meters away. It plunged into the water. Almost instantly, a maelstrom began to form at the starboard side of the ship. The crew let out panicked cries at the sight of the swirling water that intended to swallow them entirely. At first, Killian grew alarmed and intended to pummel Zoso for treachery, but the look on Blackbeard's face was enough to reassure him that this was all part of the process of travelling to Neverland. Once more, Killian met his father's stare, and the two men shot each other understanding nods.

Through the violent crashes, Killian heard:

"I'll bring her back, my son, and we will find you."

End of Flashback

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"Your hands...they're shaking."

Belle's soft voice caught Emma's attention then. The blonde woman eyed her hands in front of her, then consciously subdued her trembling by clenching them into tight fists. Her look was absent when the brunette placed two of her finest teacups on the coffee table in front of them and sat on the tawny-coloured couch across from her. Emma gave her a smile in thanks as she took the drink in her hand. "Must be adrenaline. Thought I was going to commit murder just a few minutes ago."

"But you didn't."

"Maybe I should have," was her curt reply.

Belle furrowed her brows and frowned. Despite what she had just gone through, she thought, she would never, ever condone taking a life - no matter how much a person apparently deserved it. Not every creature was horrible - at least, to their very core. Her head shook as she stated, "You don't mean that."

The Sheriff's expression remained unyielding as the two women met each other's gaze. "Still think that bastard can be redeemed?"

"If he can, I think you're the only one capable of bringing him back."

"What? Why?"

"He didn't kill you," the brunette pointed out with a shrug. "I was the best leverage that he had over Gold, and you freed me. I would imagine he was pretty upset about that."

"Well, I guess." Emma's eyes were searching. She ran her fingers through her hair. "Then again, I had a gun pointed at him. It was probably easier to persuade him with that."

"If he wasn't afraid to die once, I don't think he'd be afraid to die again." Belle placed the teacup upon her saucer and sat forward. Her face softened. "There is something there between you two. Something strong. I can see and feel it."

Emma rolled her eyes and let out a dismissive scoff. "Yeah, right."

"Whether you like to admit it or not, you care about him, so..." Belle's blue eyes fell to the ground, then met Emma's once more, "...I won't tell Gold what happened."

"What?"

"If Gold finds out what Hook did, there is no telling what he will do to the pirate."

She's right, Emma thought. Hook could have threatened Gold's life for all of eternity and the sorcerer would merely be amused. But threatening Belle? That was a whole other story. It was something that she, as a sheriff sworn to protect this town, wasn't looking forward to dealing with. She placed her cup upon the table and entirely focused on the other woman's expression. "You'd protect him? After all that he's done?"

"He's misguided," Belle pressed further, the conviction in her tone transparent. "He wants revenge for something that Gold had done to him long ago. I don't even know what injustice that was, but..." she frowned, "all I know is that they both have their demons and that they've both done things in the past that have been evil."

"In the past? Try just a few minutes ago!"

Belle shrugged coolly. "Even then."

"You're so forgiving." The tone in Emma's voice was somewhat lined with shame. Despite the support that she was currently receiving, she continued to feel the burden upon her shoulders. "I don't think I can be like you."

"Don't you see, Emma?" A smile began to creep upon her red lips. "It's a cycle, and it needs to be stopped. I can try and do my part."

The Sheriff allowed these words to sink in for a few moments. If anything, Belle's silence would buy her a bit of time to think about her next course of action - particularly with how to deal with the issue of Hook. Not to mention that it would help diffuse a war that had started so long ago. "I'm glad you're alright. Thank you for what you're doing. If there's anything I can do, let me know."

The two women embraced. As Emma headed for the front door, she heard: "Actually, there is one thing you can do."

Emma paused and tilted her head back. "What's that?"

"Get through him. Make him see, Emma. Make him a better man."

Emma's heart sunk. At first, she actually considered her words; perhaps there was a chance that things could be set right once more. However, she began to think that Belle just asked the impossible. She didn't even know if she was even up for the task; she had enough to deal with already. And then, she had an idea. She could respond to Belle's task by one of the options that stared at her in the face.

It was clear to her now that Hook couldn't let Milah go. He was still out for revenge; it was in his very core. Her heart constricted upon thinking about both circumstances. How could she ever battle with a ghost, a memory of a love lost? How could she mend something that couldn't be physically healed?

Hook was never going to change, with or without me.

Emma clenched her jaw, her eyes unrelenting. "Not gonna happen."

Belle's eyes widened in surprise. She gave Emma a sidelong glance. "What do you plan to do?"

The tension in the room thickened as she replied with:

"Evict him from Storybrooke."